Crazy things the AI has done or said

[Playa del Carmen]

Originally posted by notyoueither
BTW. Red coloured? Are you sure that's not Caesar?

I think he's right. I've always seen the Babylonians as red. And the Japanese seem to be some kind of dark read color too. I can hardly tell the difference.

[bigvic]

Once as the Germans, on my way to getting ready to go on a crude mi/late game world domination rampage, I noticed the French, my good buddies and weakling toadies sending warriors and archers wandering through my territory. Hmm..I decided to practice forebearance, in that they were not near me and my objects of aggression were closer to home, so I negotiated a right of passage and watched them hang out in the mountains. I was a bit concerned, but not much, as they were puny and primitve (I had cavalry, riflemen & cannon). Then I noticed fleets of pink caravels approaching along my coast, and upon right clicking, noticed they were not french, but Chinese!!!! AAAAGH! I demanded they leave, they said ok and next turn promptly declared war and landed. Sneaky bastards, those Chinese, disguiseng themselves as Frenchies and camping out in my mountains like a band of gypsies! I could'nt help but imagine some bumbling Sgt. Schultz being sent out to investigate the pinkies and being bamboozled by a bunch of Chinese guys pretending to be French.

[Saurus]

Originally posted by notyoueither
Saurus. Give Hammi a good dose of Legions or Immortals or MountedWarriors.

BTW. Red coloured? Are you sure that's not Caesar?

To tell you the truth I can´t differentiate - those red borders
could belong to either Hammurabi or Caesar i think.
Maybe I am just unlucky in this regard.

Is it not so that Hammurabi and Caesar have the same color so they cannot appear in the same game? I don´t remember ever seeing those two in the same game.
I think this is the reason I newer,ever have met Hiawatha.
(I play as the Indians almost always)

-Saurus

[Spec]

When I have 125 cavalries and 160 riflemen and my Military advisor tells me: Compared to these guys we have an average military. WHAT?!? Yea right....Your mom is average!!

Or when I want to trade something and my Moron advisor tells me:" We're getting close to a deal now" so I add a ressource or a luxury and then he goes:" They would NEVER acceptsych a deal" but if I add like 25 gold he says:" This deal seems to be acceptable". OMG wtf is that about.


We should have the options:
-Burn Moron advisor
-Kill moron for fun
-Drown Morons mom
or the best one
-Sow the Moron's ass closed and keep on feeding him and feeding him and feeding him.

Spec.

[PatLasch]

Originally posted by Saurus



To tell you the truth I can´t differentiate - those red borders
could belong to either Hammurabi or Caesar i think.
Maybe I am just unlucky in this regard.

Is it not so that Hammurabi and Caesar have the same color so they cannot appear in the same game? I don´t remember ever seeing those two in the same game.
I think this is the reason I newer,ever have met Hiawatha.
(I play as the Indians almost always)

-Saurus

In the editor most Civs have two colors. That way if there are two civs with the same colors they have another color to use. Babylon can be either dark blue or red.

[bigvic]

Originally posted by Spectator
When I have 125 cavalries and 160 riflemen and my Military advisor tells me: Compared to these guys we have an average military. WHAT?!? Yea right....

Or when I want to trade something and my Moron advisor tells me:" We're getting close to a deal now" so I add a ressource or a luxury and then he goes:" They would NEVER acceptsych a deal" but if I add like 25 gold he says:" This deal seems to be acceptable". OMG wtf is that about.


We should have the options:
-Burn Moron advisor
-Kill moron for fun
-Drown Morons mom
or the best one
-Sow the Moron's ass closed and keep on feeding him and feeding him and feeding him.


Spec.

:
Or when stupid moron adviser informs you that the "blah blahs" are about our tech equals, and you see that you have like 5 techs more than they.
hmmm:

[bigvic]

Or how the science advisor (Sid) always claims we need more money for science even when science spending is ar 100%. Which my scientist roommate claims is quite accurate.

[Egyptian]

Even worse than the dumb military advisor is that dumb Bit** trade advisor who tells me we need to aquire more luxuries when I control every city in the world except for one, and have evey luxury and resource in the world in my borders or colonized. I can't even recall how many times I've called her names.

[DTRY]

Admit it, the game is unfinished. Half of advisors are idiots. I missed those funny advisors from CivII.

[ACooper]

The advisor doesn't even know my name, or my birthday. What fools they are. Imagine a scientist asking for more money. Unheard of. Any trade advisor that tells you to get more luxuries is totally stupid. What a waste of time this is!


Damn you Firaxis! Why do you torment us so!

[Trevman]

Originally posted by DTRY
Admit it, the game is unfinished. Half of advisors are idiots. I missed those funny advisors from CivII.

You got to love that military advisor from CivII, had a slight drinking problem though.

[Coracle]

THAT STUPID AI

Some of the dumber things in Civ II (but still a better game than Civ III) were battleships being built on lakes, and a civ starting a Happiness Wonder as soon as a massive invasion crosses its borders.

You think in over five years Firaxis could have gotten this right?? Nope.

I spotted in Civ III the rival civ - and my own idiot governor - both building battleships in a seven tile lake with no ocean access.

I also see that the AI continues to start Happiness Wonders even when being invaded and conquered.

Great job, Firaxis.

And they don't give a damn what we say as long as we buy their junk.

[bigvic]

And what does that culture advisor say, "We should build the (insert wonder) and watch the people flock to us"? thanks dude. if you hadn't pointed that one out i might have blown the game. IT IS A DUDE, ISN'T IT? And that irritating harpy of a domestic advisor. Everytime she scowls while telling me something obvious i feel like "gettin out my whip". hmm...

[notyoueither]

Dress her in black leather and give her a whip. Then more players may appreciate the pain she inflicts.

I don't really mind her. But then again, I'm divorced. She serves a useful function of reminding me what I am not missing.

[bigvic]

preachin' to the choir, brother