Humor in Civ III

[Ari]

A while back, I saw a post complaining that some of the dry humor in Civ 1 and 2 weren't present in civ 3. I've noticed a bunch of little chuckle-level type things:

Finally made the connection between my domestic advisor asking me "you say you want a revolution?" and my answering "you know it's gonna be alright." (both lines from Beatles' "Revolution").

from the description of the SS stasis chamber:
"although scientists have not yet tested the effects of long-term freezing on human beings, they are completely confident that there will not be any problems with the Stasis Chamber on the Space Ship. Completely confident.

something about the phrasing of another civ asking to exchange maps ("I'll show you mine...") seems the slightest bit off-color.

Gandhi mentions vegetarian curry in one of his greeting messages.

Now if only I could see Shaka in his banana republic despot outfit warning me that his words were backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS

Can anyone think of anything else they've seen that fits in with this?

[Mister Hand]

I like it when the leaders turn down your deals by saying "Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture."

[Altuar]

I swear the Japanese ambassador greeted me with "All your base are belong to us" when we were at war.

[Barchan]

Actually, both responses from "You say you want a revolution" are from the Beatles' song.

I've seen some wit in the AI's responses as well. Must have taken some time to think them all up. Too bad they didn't spend as much time on other issues (covered in depth in hundreds of other topics...).

[David Murray]

Originally posted by Altuar
I swear the Japanese ambassador greeted me with "All your base are belong to us" when we were at war.

Yep, did that with me two!

Search for and open up diplomacy.txt to see all the different responses and stuff....

[star mouse]

Samples from Civ3\Text\Diplomacy.txt

I won't post them all, but here's a sample.... if you want a real laugh, read this file. And if you want to make everyone else laugh, create a mod and upload it. There's a lot of bland responses that are amenable to modification.

"$CIVNAME5 greets you, evil $PLAYER0. Soon my armies will fall upon your helpless cities, like a ton of bricks descending upon a surprised duck."

"All your base are belong to us!"

"Greetings, $PLAYER0. Let's stop pounding each other like two bulls in a water closet."

"Three words: increase your medication..."

When asking troops to leave:
"Woah! How the heck did they get THERE? Of COURSE they will leave!"
"We will leave immediately - if only to get away from your incessant yapping."
"I apologize on behalf of our generals, $PLAYER0. They get lost easily."
"Oh. Is that YOUR territory? How embarrassing. We'll leave immediately."

The file also contains the text strings used by the game itself as the user options. These look like this:

#USERACCEPT
#civ 0
#power 0
#mood 1
#random 1
"We accept your gracious offer."
"We accept your offer."
"We accept."

#USERPEACETREATY
#civ 0
#power 0
#mood 1
#random 1
"We seem to have overextended ourselves. Would you be willing to sign a peace treaty?"
"We seem to have overextended ourselves. Would you care to sign a peace treaty?"
"We seem to have overextended ourselves. Will you sign a peace treaty?"

I wonder how modifiable this file is? For example, if we change this to have more than 3 different choices, will it recognise them all?

[Eli]

"I noticed you cute civilization"
I think it was the Aztec leader who said that.

[Fidel]

Tokugawa (on my peace treaty offer):
"I must reject your offer on aesthetic grounds - it stinks!"