***Please note this is NOT a troll....it is my hope that when folks read this thread, they'll take a step back and realize that the level of viciousness found in many of the "battle threads" has kinna gotten out of hand.***
It's one thing to debat the merits of a game, it's another thing to make it personal, and it is my belief that the folks who don't like the new way of doing things in Civ3, are the ones who miss their Civ2 Strats the most. So...I thought a little tongue in cheek humor might help put things back into perspective.
-=Vel=-
***
Why Civ3 is Broken
Combat is totally unrealistic! In Civ2, I used to be able to take four tanks and conquer the whole world! Now, you actually have to slog through tough, entrenched AI units who hide in the mountains, and who may be technologically inferior, but still sometimes pull out some mojo and kill a unit or two!
Conquering cities is totally unrealistic too! In Civ2, I used to be able to roll in with my aforementioned four tanks and all the citizens would instantly love me! Now, they don’t! And worse, I actually have to garrison troops IN the newly conquered cities in order to quell resistors?! You’ve GOT to be kidding! Don’t these people know that I’m conquering them in order to bring them out of the dark ages and into ultimate enlightenment and happiness!? They should LOVE me! In fact, I think that when I easily defeat the hopeless AI (and please fix this wretched condition….I want it to be EASY to beat up on the AI, ‘k?)….anyway, when I slice through the AI’s pitiful resistance like a Ginsu through butter, I think I should get a WLTK celebration in each town rather than all this resistance and corruption nonsense! It’s CLEARLY broken the way it is right now!!!! Anyone who can’t see that is obviously either blind, stoopid, or the son of a Godless DOG!
Resources SUCK! In some games, I might not have at least six of each and every resource, which would enable to me simply run roughshod over all of my opposition! What gives with that! I don’t actually want a CHALLENGE….I just wanna….you know, get to tanks, build four, and conquer everybody! It’s TOTALLY unrealistic to expect that, as the HUMAN PLAYER….the person who is PAYING GOOD MONEY for this damned game, I might start off lacking the basic resources I need to build my four tanks and conquer the world! Trade with the AI!? Bah! If I’m trading with them, how do you expect me to conquer them!
Culture!? You HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!? That’s just for wussies who don’t want to build four tanks and conquer the AI! What a stupid, useless idea!? Probably that was something you guys came up with while half drunk on tequila and eating nachos or something. It shows. And even worse....when an AI civ has been dutifully investing in all the cultural enhancements I ignore so I can stomp everybody....sometimes, when I take a city, the AI gets it back! TOTALLY UNFAIR!!!!
And what’s all this about having to honor my mutual protection alliances!? Bah! That’s ALSO totally unrealistic! In Civ2, the AI was really stupid (much more realistic, since everybody knows that politicians are all stupid!), and you could backstab them over and over again and they’d NEVER be any wiser for it! That’s what I want! I want to be able to lull the AI into a clever diplomatic trap and then backstab them! I don’t want to actually have to KEEP a commitment! That’s too much like real life….oh wait….I keep saying that I WANT the game to be more like real life.
Yes….and real life can sometimes be a pain in the a$$…so THAT’s what I’m looking for in a game! Errr…no…that’s not right….I…no wait! I’m not finished yet! I want….I want….Civ2 with better graphics! Yes…in the end….that’s what I’m looking for.
***
Seriously, there clearly ARE some things in the game that need to be addressed, such as bombers that can’t be stopped, coastal fortresses that you pay for but don’t do anything, MAYBE adding a corruption fighting effect to police stations to stop people from crying foul there, and definitely re-checking the corruption levels re: tiny maps.
Then, there are a few quirky things, like the millionaire bug and the queue production bug which seems to allow you to keep building stuff like tanks, even after your 20-turns of trading for oil expire (ie – even after you lose your source of oil).
Yep…it’s NOT a perfect game, but I genuinely believe that the people who keep saying to us all that corruption and the combat system are broken are the same crowd that can no longer run around with half a dozen tanks abusing the AI….
IMO, That’s what Civ2’s for….
-=Vel=-
It's one thing to debat the merits of a game, it's another thing to make it personal, and it is my belief that the folks who don't like the new way of doing things in Civ3, are the ones who miss their Civ2 Strats the most. So...I thought a little tongue in cheek humor might help put things back into perspective.
-=Vel=-
Why Civ3 is Broken
Combat is totally unrealistic! In Civ2, I used to be able to take four tanks and conquer the whole world! Now, you actually have to slog through tough, entrenched AI units who hide in the mountains, and who may be technologically inferior, but still sometimes pull out some mojo and kill a unit or two!
Conquering cities is totally unrealistic too! In Civ2, I used to be able to roll in with my aforementioned four tanks and all the citizens would instantly love me! Now, they don’t! And worse, I actually have to garrison troops IN the newly conquered cities in order to quell resistors?! You’ve GOT to be kidding! Don’t these people know that I’m conquering them in order to bring them out of the dark ages and into ultimate enlightenment and happiness!? They should LOVE me! In fact, I think that when I easily defeat the hopeless AI (and please fix this wretched condition….I want it to be EASY to beat up on the AI, ‘k?)….anyway, when I slice through the AI’s pitiful resistance like a Ginsu through butter, I think I should get a WLTK celebration in each town rather than all this resistance and corruption nonsense! It’s CLEARLY broken the way it is right now!!!! Anyone who can’t see that is obviously either blind, stoopid, or the son of a Godless DOG!
Resources SUCK! In some games, I might not have at least six of each and every resource, which would enable to me simply run roughshod over all of my opposition! What gives with that! I don’t actually want a CHALLENGE….I just wanna….you know, get to tanks, build four, and conquer everybody! It’s TOTALLY unrealistic to expect that, as the HUMAN PLAYER….the person who is PAYING GOOD MONEY for this damned game, I might start off lacking the basic resources I need to build my four tanks and conquer the world! Trade with the AI!? Bah! If I’m trading with them, how do you expect me to conquer them!
Culture!? You HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!? That’s just for wussies who don’t want to build four tanks and conquer the AI! What a stupid, useless idea!? Probably that was something you guys came up with while half drunk on tequila and eating nachos or something. It shows. And even worse....when an AI civ has been dutifully investing in all the cultural enhancements I ignore so I can stomp everybody....sometimes, when I take a city, the AI gets it back! TOTALLY UNFAIR!!!!
And what’s all this about having to honor my mutual protection alliances!? Bah! That’s ALSO totally unrealistic! In Civ2, the AI was really stupid (much more realistic, since everybody knows that politicians are all stupid!), and you could backstab them over and over again and they’d NEVER be any wiser for it! That’s what I want! I want to be able to lull the AI into a clever diplomatic trap and then backstab them! I don’t want to actually have to KEEP a commitment! That’s too much like real life….oh wait….I keep saying that I WANT the game to be more like real life.
Yes….and real life can sometimes be a pain in the a$$…so THAT’s what I’m looking for in a game! Errr…no…that’s not right….I…no wait! I’m not finished yet! I want….I want….Civ2 with better graphics! Yes…in the end….that’s what I’m looking for.
Seriously, there clearly ARE some things in the game that need to be addressed, such as bombers that can’t be stopped, coastal fortresses that you pay for but don’t do anything, MAYBE adding a corruption fighting effect to police stations to stop people from crying foul there, and definitely re-checking the corruption levels re: tiny maps.
Then, there are a few quirky things, like the millionaire bug and the queue production bug which seems to allow you to keep building stuff like tanks, even after your 20-turns of trading for oil expire (ie – even after you lose your source of oil).
Yep…it’s NOT a perfect game, but I genuinely believe that the people who keep saying to us all that corruption and the combat system are broken are the same crowd that can no longer run around with half a dozen tanks abusing the AI….
IMO, That’s what Civ2’s for….
-=Vel=-
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