The Feocalviad

[LzPrst]

Hear ye, hear ye. By Master Nuñez' decree
I, Miramax the bard will here write the glories of
the soldiers strong that never from a battle flee.

These adventures will be recorded here for all to see.


Part 1

In the year of our Lord Augusto Togas' rule 1723, the Pamplona Warriors were appointed a new commander; Antonio Meneñdez de Nuñez. Unfortunately, as he was an aging man he could not bear the strain of such life and requested that his eldest son be given the command instead.
So it became that Colonel Apestare Meneñdez de Nuñez arrived the following year along with his personal assistant, Skiff, ordering all the men to shave their heads to display unity, strength and rid them of the lice in tribute to his father. Then he ordered them North and lead this group of strong young men to a glorious future.

[LzPrst]

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

F*CK! I JUST SPENT TWO BL**DY HOURS WRITING A FRIGGING STORY AND I MANAGED TO HIT THE F*CKING ESCAPE KEY!!!!! two hours hard work, poof gone by the careless touch of a key. i'm seriously considering taking this piece of sh|t keyboard out and trashing it, but i dont think the university would approve...
bl**dy h*ll.

you darnd piece of bad equipment.

excuse my lingo, i'll remove this tomorrow, but i have to vent my anger or i'll go insane.

f*ck.

[pikesfan]

It’s ND’s giant cat! It stores up so much static electricity in its fur that it brushes against computers and wipes them out!

[ThePlagueRat]

The ND giant cat? Can he randomly shutdown Notepad or Wordpad too? Or perhaps M$ got their own cat for that.

Ok lzprst, sorry to hear. But please try again.

[Thrumble]

Originally posted by pikesfan
It’s ND’s giant cat! It stores up so much static electricity in its fur that it brushes against computers and wipes them out!

That makes sense.

(Silently wonders what static electricity and computers are.)

[LzPrst]

Death to all ND cats! I will make it my personal vendetta to skin every feline creature within ND's borders!

I've rewritten it, and maybe its better, maybe its worse, I don't care right now. Unfortunately its on a diskette lying at home and I'm at the library.
Btw it's getting to be a little long...
I'll post it later today, so hang in there those of you who are fans of the greatest warriors of Spain!

[LzPrst]

El Capitan Nuñez woke in his tent, grabbed his water hide and stepped outside. He instantly spotted through the sleeping man by the burned-out camp fire and started walking towards him. The air was cool and crisp, the nice spring weather had suddenly turned colder and there was frost on the ground, but his travel-hardened feet took no notice. Manuel had again fallen asleep while on sentry duty. How these lazy boys would ever become real soldiers was a mystery to him, but he’d only had command of his unit for a few months and was determined not to give up.

The sun would rise in the east any second now and cast light upon this small valley by the coast. They had followed the coast and crossed a small ridge to the east the night before to seek shelter from the howling winds of the coast. In the foggy darkness they could hardly see their feet on the ground even with the torches. All they could see when they reached the ridge top was vast steep walls on both sides.

He walked over to the sleeping soldier, took a swig of his water hide, and poured a few drops on Manuel’s dormant figure. No reaction. The boy slept like the great cave bears they had encountered during winter, soundly without a care in the world. He kicked him softly, slight murmuring sounded from the young man sitting on the ground his head leaning on the top of his club. A reddening horizon to his left indicated that the sun had begun its rise. “Get up, you lazy son of a promiscuous woman.” For a split second Manuel’s face showed some faint change, then seemingly without any actual movement Manuel’s sitting form was standing rigid as a stick muttering excuses, his eyes still only half open.
The boy had a remarkable talent for talking himself out of the trouble which he had a habit of getting himself into, but this time the Capitan was already considering a fit punishment. As he turned from the boy, who was still attempting to get his apologetic brain cells into motion, he shaded his eyes from a shearing light reflecting off the frosty walls.

His eyes adapted to the brightness and his water-hide fell from his hand to the soft cool grass. The sheer walls on both sides of the valley were covered in huge vines growing from the grassy floor along the cliff-face a hundred yards straight up. The great green leaves were so numerous that not a single piece of rock was visible. As his gaze wandered up along the living wall he saw the vines turning inward over the valley reaching out to touch the vines leaning out from the opposite wall, creating green lines spanning the chasm like a great dome. The frost on the leaves was reflecting the newly risen sun making the valley so bright that his eyes were watering. At a great distance he could still hear vague sounds coming from the boy, but the light drowned out all sounds as well. For miles it seemed did the lines of green cover the valley like a casual ceiling of strings, and the white-green walls seemed to stretch on forever.
He tapped a nearby tent pole, “Skiff …” he pressed through his half open mouth. His whole body was trembling like after a great struggle and he felt his heart pounding hard in his chest. He coughed, then spoke again “Skiff!” The valley responded with a voice like a sleepy god, IF,IF,IF..IF….IF…if.....
The booming echo shook Manuel out of his sleep-prattle and he stood like his commander, gaping at the sight, his eyes watering. The rest of the camp woke in chaos, men were scrambling to their feet expecting that finally they would see battle, shouting to each other in confused voices only to have their words exploded back at them from the valley.
Sergeant Skiff emerged from the tent looked around and began mumbling words in a low voice. “What are you muttering about?” the Capitan whispered. “I’m thanking the spirits.” came the quiet reply. “I didn’ thin’ you were the religious type” Manuel interrupted, finally fully conscious. “I wasn’t until now.” the Sergeant answered.

“I will give you all a few hours of rest and reflection, then we pack up and start today’s march” the Capitan said, then went into his tent fetched his journal, and emerged again sitting down in the grass and wrote:

Capitan’s log. Expedition-date 0506.1703
I thank the creator spirit for letting me see this sight, never did I believe that such beauty could exist in the wild untamed lands. Truly we are blessed men who have been allowed entry in this greatest and most beautiful of all temples in the world. I will name this place “The Halls of Nature”, and may forever these vines stand as they are.

After the men had held prayer and gathered their gear, they moved through the magnificent valley. The sun had now risen above the overhanging vines, shining its rays through the loose knit ceiling. The sunlight made great patches of shadow and lights on the ground, shifting playfully as the wind gently blew the vines above in a wavy motion. One of the men enthusiastically approached the Capitan and showed him a leaf he had taken from the wall. “El Capitan, it is stone hard, but light as a feather, I wonder if we can use them for something. The biggest leaves are as long as a man and almost as wide!”

To be continued when I have the time…

[GodKing]

I like cats........

[LzPrst]

I like cats too, but not ND cats. They're demonic.

[mrmitchell]

Evil ND cat!

Put it to sleep!

All other cats are fine however.

[LzPrst]

Any comments on my story...?

[Thud]

No, just on the cats.

Well, I suppose one comment can't hurt:

“Get up, you lazy son of a promiscuous woman.”