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THE STONE OF SPAIN
Volume IV - 3800 BC
This newspaper will be published at irregular intervals
POLITICAL AND MILITARY AFFAIRS
FIRST ORGANIZED ARMY REGIMENT TO EXPLORE WESTERN MOUNTAINS
After the creation of the very first organized army regiment, composed of skilled warriors, Togas ordered them to explore the mysterious mountains to the west. These mountains (the Pico de Navacerrada and the Alto de los Leones) have been considered the bringers of doom in ancient times. Children have always been warned not to go there, otherwise they would be killed by evil spirits. Only the most murderous and mad criminals were sent there for exile. Now Togas dares to challenge the age-old beliefs about these mountains and boldly goes where no sane Spaniard has gone before. This shows once again that Togas is a courageous and visionary leader.
NEW INTELLIGENCE ON GLORY OF WAR - POSSIBLY DISINFORMATION
Senor Hernan de History Guy Calamari II recently intercepted a message from the Chinese civilization, also known as the Glory of War. This message suggests an overly marine environment near China, as the sender of the message - senor Unorthodox - complains about the seemingly endless waves of water near the capital city Atlantis.
It is, however, suggested - both by senor ruby_maser and senor Hernan de Calamari II - that this information is probably disinformation sent to us so as to deceive our great nation. It seems other countries are trying to become more powerful than Spain, and seek agression towards our civilization. Sages suggest we should strife to become better and better every day. Of course the people of Spain fully trust the mighty despot Togas to execute this task in the best possible way.
-- Advertisement --
Don't you just hate it when your favourite sheep is stolen? Don't you just hate it when your favourite relative is murdered and no-one finds the evidence that the Mitchells have done it?
Well, hate no more! 'Cause there is a new private investigator in Madrid: *imagine drum rolling* ... Sancho History Guy Calamari. Keen-eyed and inquisitive, this detective will solve your mystery. Meet him at the marketplace.
-- Advertisement --
CULTURAL AFFAIRS
WATERDIVING FESTIVAL INITIATED
The waterdiving festival has been started, and will last for yet a few days. In this festival senor Hernan de History Guy Calamari I, Spain's only true Squid emperor, is being tossed into the river Toja on the edge of a waterfall. He has survived the first few tosses, but will have to be thrown in a few more times.
Spectators interviewed by the Stone of Spain say this is "the most entertaining event we have had in all our lives so far." Senor Hernan de History Guy Calamar II hopes his father will die soon, "for the sake of justice, that is," he quickly adds. Floris Olstorne praises the event, saying: "this is the perfect mix of justice and entertainment. And besides that, my stand here, which is selling the Iberian Delight's finest in food and drink, provides me with a great income."
TAVERN IBERIAN DELIGHT WILL BE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION
Our favourite tavern, the Iberian Delight, will be closed for renovation. The Delight will, however, be present at various festivals, selling the best in Iberian cuisine. "This renovation," says founder and bartender of the Iberian Delight senor Floris Petro Rulio Olstorne, "is necessary because the tavern really needed a renovation after so many years. Don't worry, though; the tavern will be open again soon, and will provide you with the best tavernian experience you have had so far in your entire life."
-- Advertisement --
Is your neighbour harassing you? Has your wife slept with someone else? Then wait no longer and go to the Master Weapon Shop of Madrid in the marketplace to find a weapon to suit the situation.
"Don't be a wuss - go buy a weapon"
-- Advertisement --
This newspaper is financed by the Iberian Delight corporation. This is a purely financial deal with no conflict of interests between either the Stone of Spain or the Iberian Delight corporation or the readers of this newspaper.
Volume IV - 3800 BC
This newspaper will be published at irregular intervals
POLITICAL AND MILITARY AFFAIRS
FIRST ORGANIZED ARMY REGIMENT TO EXPLORE WESTERN MOUNTAINS
After the creation of the very first organized army regiment, composed of skilled warriors, Togas ordered them to explore the mysterious mountains to the west. These mountains (the Pico de Navacerrada and the Alto de los Leones) have been considered the bringers of doom in ancient times. Children have always been warned not to go there, otherwise they would be killed by evil spirits. Only the most murderous and mad criminals were sent there for exile. Now Togas dares to challenge the age-old beliefs about these mountains and boldly goes where no sane Spaniard has gone before. This shows once again that Togas is a courageous and visionary leader.
NEW INTELLIGENCE ON GLORY OF WAR - POSSIBLY DISINFORMATION
Senor Hernan de History Guy Calamari II recently intercepted a message from the Chinese civilization, also known as the Glory of War. This message suggests an overly marine environment near China, as the sender of the message - senor Unorthodox - complains about the seemingly endless waves of water near the capital city Atlantis.
It is, however, suggested - both by senor ruby_maser and senor Hernan de Calamari II - that this information is probably disinformation sent to us so as to deceive our great nation. It seems other countries are trying to become more powerful than Spain, and seek agression towards our civilization. Sages suggest we should strife to become better and better every day. Of course the people of Spain fully trust the mighty despot Togas to execute this task in the best possible way.
-- Advertisement --
Don't you just hate it when your favourite sheep is stolen? Don't you just hate it when your favourite relative is murdered and no-one finds the evidence that the Mitchells have done it?
Well, hate no more! 'Cause there is a new private investigator in Madrid: *imagine drum rolling* ... Sancho History Guy Calamari. Keen-eyed and inquisitive, this detective will solve your mystery. Meet him at the marketplace.
-- Advertisement --
CULTURAL AFFAIRS
WATERDIVING FESTIVAL INITIATED
The waterdiving festival has been started, and will last for yet a few days. In this festival senor Hernan de History Guy Calamari I, Spain's only true Squid emperor, is being tossed into the river Toja on the edge of a waterfall. He has survived the first few tosses, but will have to be thrown in a few more times.
Spectators interviewed by the Stone of Spain say this is "the most entertaining event we have had in all our lives so far." Senor Hernan de History Guy Calamar II hopes his father will die soon, "for the sake of justice, that is," he quickly adds. Floris Olstorne praises the event, saying: "this is the perfect mix of justice and entertainment. And besides that, my stand here, which is selling the Iberian Delight's finest in food and drink, provides me with a great income."
TAVERN IBERIAN DELIGHT WILL BE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION
Our favourite tavern, the Iberian Delight, will be closed for renovation. The Delight will, however, be present at various festivals, selling the best in Iberian cuisine. "This renovation," says founder and bartender of the Iberian Delight senor Floris Petro Rulio Olstorne, "is necessary because the tavern really needed a renovation after so many years. Don't worry, though; the tavern will be open again soon, and will provide you with the best tavernian experience you have had so far in your entire life."
-- Advertisement --
Is your neighbour harassing you? Has your wife slept with someone else? Then wait no longer and go to the Master Weapon Shop of Madrid in the marketplace to find a weapon to suit the situation.
"Don't be a wuss - go buy a weapon"
-- Advertisement --
This newspaper is financed by the Iberian Delight corporation. This is a purely financial deal with no conflict of interests between either the Stone of Spain or the Iberian Delight corporation or the readers of this newspaper.
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