The Chronicles of Iberia

[History Guy]

One of the great marks of civilization is chronicling the history of that people, and we are, after all, roleplayers, and so we should write our history, here. This is what I suggest, we all take our time after each turn to write down the history of that turn in the eyes of our tribe as we see if. We don't all have to do this, but I think we should, instead of just letting it go under like what happened in the Democracy Game. What say you?

From the Scribes:

THE CHRONICLES OF IBERIA

[Hot Mustard]

Edit: moved below.

[History Guy]

INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTION
BY THE SCRIBE, PEDRO DE HISTORY GUY CALAMARI

It is commonly believed that civilization is a change which occurs randomly in the cases of a few lucky peoples, but this is not commonly the case. The fact is, civilization is molded by people with the will to make an everlasting mark on the world and it's history, and to make a sort of paradise for the common man, or for the ruler. Civilization, in it's purest form, cannot be found in many places, that is certain. Certainly, at this time in history, the world is largely population by sheep-gnawing, fur-wearing, axe-weilding barbarians, who have only touched on civilization in the forms of their dug-out canoes, or their prehistoric cave paintings. Sometimes, however, something truly remarkable happens, a civilization forms out of these barbarians, one that tests the limits of human imagination and productivity. Such a civilization is that of the Iberians, the people of the converging tribes. For the most part, in the beginning, they were a quiet people, marked only by their love of art and food, especially mutton, ham, or, most of all, squid meat. They are productive in all things now, but they are most highly regarded for their high sense of religion, their rites of ceremonial burial, their beautiful city, and their remarkable alphabet, for which there is none like it, consisting of twenty-four characters.

I, a humble scribe, do attempt, humbly, to begin a collection of work chronicling the full history of the Spanish Iberian peoples, using their own words, to form the first work of history known to man.

I shall personally make the first entry, though I shall not return until an epilogue is reached, from here on, all work shall be written by the heads of the tribes, or important figures in Madrid society. I shall be the humble compiler.

The story of the joining of the tribes at the forested barbarian village of Madrid is one that begins in the year 4026 BC, when this part of the world was ruled by a people known as the Visigoth, led by their king Alaric. Alaric was a stern and fearsome ruler, skilled in the arts of war, but a stern enemy of civilization, spurning the efforts of the surrounding tribes to bring down his regime to form a civilization. Alaric decided on day that the time had come to build his empire, and set off from Madrid with a huge army of 10,000 men, armed with slings, bows, stone spears, and stone axes. They carried large, oblong shields, and they shouted their battle cries of "Blah! Blah! Blah!" They were fearsome in the eyes of the tribes.

The tribes united under a council of rulers, including Togas the Elder, Tacticus the Sooth Sayer, and many others, including an ancestor of my own, Juan de History Guy Calamari, who was credited as being the first man to eat a squid after frying it. This became an immensly popular meal among the tribes.

The tribes raised a large army, 7,400 strong, which boasted proud warriors, armed with suitable weapons created by the Poupons and the Dejons. At the plains of Santiago (the war cry for all Spanairds now), the two armies clashed among the long grass and the large rocks. In the first hail of sling bullets, Morgrak, the son of Alaric, fell dead, and the King himself took his place, his heart broken and hardened. The first wave of attacks struck hard against the family army of Thud Quixote, and for a minute the line wavered, but the brave Thud rallied them. The Calamari and the Clemente clans then led their armies forward to bolster that section, suffering the brunt of the second, more hardened attack. Alaric then ordered his archers to rain down sling bullets and arrows upon the center, controlled by the Togans and the Tacticii. Then, Alaric ordered his men forth.

The charge was suddenly met head-on by the bold Togas, leading his entire army forward to meet the enemy. Alaric was suddenly on the defensive, and within three hours, the Visigoth army was destroyed, almost to the man. Alaric himself found Togas in the midst of the fighting and raised his axe to kill him, but the great Togas swung his own sling at Alaric, and the stone caught Alaric sharp between the eyes, while at the same time Togas swung his axe, and the head was removed. The remaining Goth forces ran, and Togas pursued, occupying Madrid, and joining the tribes, no longer bickering neighbors, but one people. The civilization began.

In the year 4001 BC, the civilization was on the move once again. The city of Madrid was abandoned, and the contents were literally moved by the settlers onward to find a new location, far from the forests, closer to the rivers, the pastures, and the seas. The city was restablished on a hillside, and the assembly of the tribes convened once again to decide on who the leader was to be. He was to be Togas, the son of Togas, the grandson of Togas the Great, the hero of Santiago Field, the unifier of Iberia. Spain was that day truly born.

[History Guy]

And here, the compiler lays down his pen, and time begins. The story unfolds.

[Nuclear Winter]

Nuclearis Winterius view of the gorgeous day of december first, the most complete one!
In this glorious and shiny day of december 1st of the year of 4000 B.C the dawn of Civilization has begun! The glory of our great leader Togas shall spread over all the known world, forth a great city has been build! Now we are no more nomads for Madrid has been built!
After all those years of long wandering after the battle against the evil Visigoth despot, today finally our Leader stopped over a beutiful hill, in an advantage point, and proclaimed ´´The Iberians shall now no more wandering! We shall build Madrid here!´´. Following this great event, all the Iberian started to build a beautifull palace, with ample stone halls, and a gorgeous main chamber, on the top of the greatest hill. After His mighty palace was finished, He sat on His throne, and along with our High Priest Tacticus and His most trusted advisor Señor Lorenzo Clemente, they started the ´´Ritual for the glory spirits´´ and the ´´Ritual for fertille lands´´, and just before starting those long rituals (wich involve embebing our soil with some of His blood) He told us that the city should be built before he finished the rituals so that they might work. For such a task, 7 of His generals sat in front of a fireplace, and started to discuss how to do such a great task. These seven men who will be known to all the history were Señor Spamish Mitchell, Señor Oliverius Fernandes, Señor Crousto, Señor Astronicus, Señor Dejon, Señor Nuclearis Winterius and Señor GK. It had been expressed by our great leader that he wished that Señor GK led the building effort.
Other Señores were sent to take care of other important business for the city, as for example Señor History guy, Senor Floris and Señor Pedro who were sent to obtain food for our population. Señor Thud and Señor Ruby Maser were sent to mark the palcement of the buildings and of the huts. Señor jdjdjd and Señor Ronni also were sent to gather building materials, like lumber and stone.
While that happened, on the outskirts of the newly founded city our worker groups banded under Señor Oliver. It was decided that they should go east (the place from where Señor Spamish´s family came from) to prepare to build proper improvements on that piece of land. Our workers were very surprised (and pleased) by the fact that they encountered abundant herds of cattle in that place! Also they found out that our squid sources are secured for tgousands of years, because of the large sea that unfolds near Madri, just where a gorgeous river happens to end. Also, there seems to be wheat in fields of grass north of us. As about the grass, it covers msot of our plain lands, making for a beautiful-looking place.
During an exploring party led by Señor Thrumble, we have managed to discover some kind of huts from a tribe to teh south. We have not managed to make contact with them, but this shall probably be one of the first tasks of the warrior force that has started to be trained, under the comand of the mighty Lord of the Palace, Señor Ninot, and Senõr Torquemada.
Los Señores Nuclearis, Dejon and Crousto have been building the huts for commerce, and the imperial treasury, a mighty impenetrable palace , made all in stone and wood. When all the building were pretty much done, Señor Spamish was sent to inform the happy workers were they should start working, all the while Señor Thud informed the Sooth sayers, confortably instaled in a comon hut, their research priorities and the amount of gold they would receive for it (wich was setted up for half of the income). All went well, and even a pre-shrine has been nuilt for El High Priest Tacticus, but rumours are that a real temple is soon to be built for him.

[GodKing]

One day, sitting home eating the latest in beef jerky, our leader, Togas the Wise, Proud, and Flatulent, accosted me in a most un-leader like way. After hitting me over the head until I was unconscious, he dragged me into the unused caves where the “before men” used to live. There, he proceeded to wake me up by splashing old squid juice under my nose. If you have ever smelled old squid juice, you know as well as I do just how effective it can be to wake someone up.

Togas told me that the tribe had to move. He indicated that he liked my idea of building a cave above ground, and he thought it would work quite well. Although I pestered him, he never did say why we must move, just that we must. And in doing the move, he had a special assignment for me. He wanted me to go and tell him where the beef was. Where’s the Beef? Why in the world would he want to know that? Apparently, he wanted us to move closer to the beef so that we wouldn’t have to put up with all the squid that everybody else loves.

When the move occurred, he sent a group of six of us ahead to scout out the new location. When we arrived, two places were looked upon as potentials. I argued fiercely for a site with easy access to the beaches, in the woods alongside the Gualdalquivir River. However, others were moved by the need to protect ourselves from the heathen peoples who have no respect for the dead (no ceremonial burial). The caves in the hills offered excellent protection. The river went through a canyon nearby, offering fresh water to drink and dispose of our refuse in. After a harrowing debate, in which I almost used my club to help persuade others to my cause, I was soundly bonked on the head from behind. They beat me to the bonking phase of our debate. Oh well.

When I awoke, with not one but two bumps on my head, I found that I had lost the debate. Our new village was under construction; Togas and the others had met up with our party, and were already working on what they called the Grand Palace of Debauchery. Apparently, Togas was creating a building in which all the different decisions of government could be made from, and which when not in use the priestesses could rent out rooms for their “religious ceremonies”. Not a bad deal if you ask me. Apparently, the idea of an above ground cave had caught on, and many people were building them.

The tavern was already up and running, selling that awful squid on a stick that Ninot & dijon like so much. My belongings were stacked up near the large oak trees alongside the river. Everything except my hoarded beef jerky that is. Guess I will have to go hunting in the morning. I wonder what they can do with that squid to make it taste like something other than squid over at the tavern……?

[Hot Mustard]

Oh, how my head hurts!

The debating, the opinions, the ramblings....it nearly consumed me, for I am a man of more simple coutenance. I build weapons, I build armour, but never before had I helped build such a thing as I did yesterday - a City, they call it. Let me tell you my story...

It was the appointed day set by our glorious leader, Togas the wise, and Mighty. Having conquered and assembled the tribes of this land, he had proclaimed that we shall live in one place, unified. A few of us got up early that day, eager to see what miracles this day would hold. There was myself, Señor dejon, as well as Señor Oliverius Fernandez, Señor ruby_maser, Señor Spamish (mrmitchell), Señor Crousto, Señor Astronicus (astrologix), Señor Nuclearis Winterius, and Señor Thud Quixote I. But hold!, the reader might ask - where was Señor Togas, or any of his trusted advisors? That, my dear reader, is the trigger that launches this fantastic tale! For Señor Togas was occupied with leaderly duties elsewhere, and left us little instructions on how to build this "City" of his. To my humble astonishment, those present thrust the mantle of directing the construction onto my shoulders - for was I not a "maker of things", anyway? I tried to reason with the group, and offered the responsibility to each person present, and later to Señor GodKing, when he dropped by to assist us.

Never having being burdened with a responsibility greater than filling a large weapon order, I attempted to get each person present to offer their thoughts on the best course of actions: Should we just start where we are? Should we look around a bit? How might we improve the land? I was not disappointed - opinions came forth in a turrent, gushing over me, and spilling into several discussions. The debates raged for uncounted hours, and each one seemed to end with sides evenly split, or close to it. How were we to decide? We were considering letting the gods decide, by tossing a bone into the air, when all of a sudden Señor Spamish switched his vote on a key decision, paving the way for the rest to follow. "Thank Lord!", I cried - now we were making progress. Tired of talking endlessly, and quite restless, we managed to actually build the City in short order - constructing enough mud-huts to meet Lord Togas' demands.

Feeling quite pleased with ourselves, we didn't balk at all when the next issue was raised: What shall everyone do after completing the City? Well, a few of us had taken part in some fireside discussions about a new group that was forming - The Explorer's Guild. We reasoned that they could get started more quickly if our citizens volunteered to explore, and others helped train those young warriors to fend for themselves. The remaining (slave) workers were sent to the east, in search of livestock.

Lastly, the Togas' wise men came looking for us, asking for directions on something to study. Señor Crousto and Señor ruby_maser recalled that Lord Togas was interested in the working of a new material called Bronze, so we asked them to look into it. We promised to pay them 70% of Lord Togas' tax collections in return. Personally, I am quite excited about this new metal.

At the end of the day, some of us had being serving the people of España for over 14 hours, and each slowly disappeared, one-by-one. I was among the last to depart - and was rewarded for my patience. Señor Lord Togas himself came to meet me and to assess our efforts! After a suitable (I hope!) amount of groveling, I detailed our decisions and efforts for him. I was so nervous, I almost dropped my axe on his toes! He seemed content, and perhaps even a little pleased (it is so hard to tell) with the outcome.

Well, that is my tale of the founding of our great city - Madrid, Togas has named it. I am off to start training one of my sons for The Explorer's Guild, that he might be chosen for the upcoming expedition.

Humbly yours,
Señor dejon

[History Guy]

Ah-ha!

(Mental note: Don't jump onto stone chairs like that...they do hurt, very badly...)

I now take up my papyrus and squid ink quill (ripped right off my pet peacock Isabella this morning), and put my pet squid Inky in my lap to write down in my papyrii diaries the latest events of the past day or so, perhaps the greatest day in the history of all Iberia since the battle of the Plains of Santiago and the march to Madrid, where they burned Alaric's body on top of the burial platform.

I awoke this morning on the roof of my house where I'd placed my bed. My wife had decided to go back down once she realized that the winter months were entirely too cold to sleep out in. She was right, I realized with horror, and cried out to Gastronome Neecap, my servant, for some boiled squid oil to pour over my index finger, which had become frozen to a distinctly damp spot on the roof.

Things got better by mid-day. It had been my first evening in our new house, which we baked yesterday after our great warrior despot king lord Togas, the great, the grandson of the heroic Togas, the victor of Santiago and slayer of Alaric, had ordered our wandering band of immigrant settlers to settle down once and for all and build Madrid, restablishing the city and the El Squid Company, the pride of the commercial world of Iberia. After a quick visit to the market to pick up some items I'd ordered from Senors Dejon and Mitchell, I decided to hop over to the lately established firm of Iberian Delights, the tavern owned by the remarkably versatile bar-keep and journalist, Floris Petro Olstorne.

There I ordered from Petro, a business partner, a platter of fried squid pieces with onions, a late addition to our El Squid menu. I also ordered a sherry, which Gastronome brought to me before biting into a large, juicy slice of cacti, and falling back in extreme pain and agony. Shortly afterward, a tall, dark Visigoth sat down in the chair opposite me and sneezed heavily, knocking over my sherry, but thankfully missing my squid entirely. I removed my handkerchief and mopped my brow, and he immediately requested it's use. I conceded, and then, seeing the result of my generosity, asked him to keep it.

"Thankee, me boy. My, ye are a richie, ain't ye? Used to be so meself, laddie, before...the Spanairds came back..." he said, sadly. "Ya see, laddie, me name is Booooffalo Chip...Buffalo Chip...and I am...was a rancher, down east. I now own a few thousand head of cattle, but because you chaps settled here and booted out the last of them Visigoth benefactors, me thinks I've finally reached rock booottom. Yay, tis so. I is poor."

I said, "Sorry, guy. That's tough."

He gave me a nasty look, and then gave my plate a good long one. He then offered to sell me all 10,000 head of cattle for a lifetime supply of squid. Now, I thought long and hard about this, and 15 seconds later I accepted. Squid was good business, but beef AND squid was better business. "Why, thankee, me sooon. Ya saved me life." He then gave me the deed, and stepped outside, but unfortunately fell over down the side of the hill, and landed heavily in Senor El Ruby Master's cacti farm. He never felt a thing.

However, the cattles were simply beautiful, and I was very pleased with my decision. Now, I note, instead of simply buying fried squid pieces, it'll be fried squid pieces and steak! I'd be even richer than ever before, and so I am. It's a good life. So good, in fact, that I gave Gastronome three bones to go blow on something. I think he's over at Senor Winterus' booth getting spiffed.

Next, I walked down to the palace for a nice quiet game of rock-papyrii-cutting sheers with my friend, the glorious and majestic despot Togas, and his Holiness, the High Priest, Francisco Pizarro Tacticus. Unfortunately, the council was in cession, and having missed it last time, I decided to make my entrance...

The red carpet rolled out, knocking someone down in the process. Gastronome helped him up, and gave him a squid to relax his nerves. "Ah, Senor!" called Togas, "Please, sit down. We are about to vote on something which is very, very important!"

"What is that?"

Senor Clemente spoke next: "Where or not to vote on taxing cattle owners, not that there are too many of those around right now..."

I was horrified.

Luckily, the cost wasn't too much more than for squid selling. I was relieved, but a bit shocked all the same. I knew why that old stiff Chip had been so eager to sell now, though. Ah well, perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid and Cattle Baron

[Nuclear Winter]

LEt us all vote in the best story!

[Togas]

Let this be known now, as my father grows older he has asked me, Enero Togas, his oldest of eight sons to tend to the tribe and to the great nation he dreamed of founding.

In his lifetime he has seen his people rise up from a group of disagreeable tribes to a unified people who shook off their nomadic lifestyle to build a permanent place ... a city ... to the west of the fields where my father raised cattle as a boy.

As a boy, following his footsteps, I helped him raise this nation.

He wants it to be known that he still gives his gratitude to the leaders of the other great families who fought beside his father against the Visigoths and who joined with him in the building of our city, Madrid.

He has spent many a day beside the river, amongst the tallest hills, in the forests to the north and south, the great grassy plains, and along the beaches. He has explored the lands around us and tells me stories at countless meals about how he sees us building many more cities, moving forth and spreading our people across the lands as far as the eyes can see.

I have often stood on the roof of our large house with him and watched him stare into the distance for the longest duration. Watching the sunset and the moon rise with him. Rarely does he speak, but when he does, he speaks of far away places and grand visions of things which might one day come to be.

Out of respect for my father, I wish to carry forth this dream of his. As for me, when my time comes, I intend to see to it that Madrid and our people are well cared for. Perhaps one day my son, or his son, will be around to see my father's dream come to life.

Enero Togas, son of Togas the First, Founder of Madrid & the Spanish Civilization.

[Nuclear Winter]

All hail the Despot!
VIVA!
[ooc]Just hope he doesn´t act like NERO [OOC]

[pikesfan]

[OOC] Ahem! If the great battle of the first Togas was in 4126 BC, how do we get 3 Togases from then to 4000 BC? That’s 126 years, which is more like 5 generations now and 6 generations then, if not 7. Togas I would have to have been a baby when he led the battle and he and II would have to have been very old when they fathered children. That's why I added more names in my annals. [/OOC]

[Togas]

Originally posted by pikesfan
If the great battle of the first Togas was in 4126 BC, how do we get 3 Togases from then to 4000 BC? That’s 126 years, which is more like 5 generations now and 6 generations then, if not 7.

Sounds like someone ought to change the dates of the Great Battle...

Or better yet, by Official Mandate of the Supreme Despot the incorrect date of my father's battle against the Visigoths shall be changed to 4026 BC!

--Togas

[pikesfan]

I’ll have to re-write the Annals then and save my interesting -tog- names for future despots.

[Ninot]

Originally posted by GodKing
The tavern was already up and running, selling that awful squid on a stick that Ninot & dijon like so much.

[OOC] I oughta make you pay for that [/OOC]