Vatican: Important News from Egypt and Persia

[History Guy]

Friends and brothers in Christ,

I have great news for you. Once again, the Lord God has seen fit to bless the Church. Again and again He has protected His servants, and today He has shown His favor through Spain's diplomatic efforts with Persia and Egypt.

Thanks to Missionary Bishop and Archbishop of the Church Winterius, Persia has agreed to convert to the One True Faith and give up their misguided belief in the Vox Controli. The One Voice has been revealed to them to be Our Father, and they have finally accepted this after many trials.

I ask Bishop Winterius to make his report on whom he has baptised. If possible, I should like him to appoint the diplomat or the King Archbishop of Persia, and the other shall also be made a Cardinal and Paladin.

Even greater news came from Fr. Ralphus in Aegyptus [aka Sir Ralph], whom I have appointed Missionary Bishop in Estonia, Cardinal of the Church, and a Paladin travelling with Egypt's crusader troops.

Here is his letter:

Your Holiness,

please accept a humble greet from your lowly servant Frater Ralphus, missionary of the Holy Catholic Church in the Lands of the Storm. As you know, our warriors are crossing the sea to help fighting the black and the yellow plague, threatening the Holy See and the whole nation of Spain. As their shepherd, I am always with them, to give spiritual assistance in the hardships of the battle. Please forgive them, Your Holiness, that they are heathens and don't yet believe in The Holy Trinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. They still worship their own deity and call it the Holy Chicken. We will have hard work with them, but are not without hope.

They are mighty warriors and with no doubt will fight bravely for Spain and crush her treacherous enemies. This way, they also do their service to the Holy See and the whole Holy Catholic Church. Albeit nonbelievers, they deserve your blessing. May I humbly ask you to consecrate them and their glorious campaign? I hope, you are pleased with my hard work and may be one day will award me with the title of the Archbishop or even Cardinal of the Storm.

Your humble servant

Frater Ralphus, missionary of the Storm

Here is the response from my office:

Good and true son of the Church,

I thank you for you kind letter. May God bestow His manifold blessings upon you and your flock!

My good and true friend and brother in Christ, I officially appoint you the sixth Cardinal of the Curia and Missionary Bishop of Egypt. Either I myself or the Archbishop of Spain and Missionary Bishop Polaris Winterius [Nuclear Winter] shall send a private messenger to you with the news on all official polls in the Madrid Curia, and you can cast your vote that way (that is, hopefully, until we’ve managed to figure out a way to get such things done in the general forum or something to that effect). In this position, you may vote on Papal elections and on decisions of the House of Cardinals. In fact, I am working on plans now to open a thread in the general forum to formerly allow free discussion by members of the Curia from all different countries. I would welcome any suggestions on how this may be effectively done.

As Missionary Bishop, you shall appoint fellow members of your country, trusted disciples of Christ, as priests or bishops of different provinces of Egypt. Also, you shall try your best diplomatically to convert other nations to Christ once the Church is firmly established in Estonia.

Also, let me stress how very pleased the Church by such warm reception in your lands. We shall certainly be very glad to bless and consecrate the forces under the command of Egypt in this campaign, and they shall carry with them the Papal Banner. I have sent along the flag of the Vatican so that it may be flown with the other colors of the bannermen. Even in such a war, God shall be glorified, for the oppressive Arabs and Chinese have long directed aggression towards the One True Faith and towards the True Cross. As such, the joint war of the Spanish and Egyptians armies has been declared by the Curia to be a great crusade.

Finally, I appoint you the third paladin of the Church, and have sent along a burly bodyguard of Swiss Guardsmen.

Thank you again for your letter. Go with my blessings, friend and brother. May God protect you.

I send greetings to my Christian brothers in Egypt and to the King of that fair country.

Pope Calixtus I

Let us discuss ways of opening up the Church to non-Spaniards further in this thread. I would especially like comments from Cardinal Libre, Cardinal Winterius, and the King.

Pope Calixtus I

[History Guy]

Senor de la Civ...

Allow me to apologize for not asking this earlier.

Should we actually allow the Egyptians to know that their old enemies in Persia are converting when we are working so closely on the conversion of their own country?

I don't know if the S.P.I.N. article was the best of ideas. It might dissuade the Egyptians to convert rather than help ease the conversion.

Ah well. No use crying out spilt squid milk, is there?

Pope Calixtus I

[History Guy]

My apologies, Senor, it seems that it mattered little.

Here is something I received from Theseus just now:

His Holiness the Pope Calixtus I,

Your Eminence, I am a simple man.

I speak not with the flowery words of the diplomat. I speak most often with the coarse language of the battlefield, and, infrequently, of a rhetoric to stir my men's souls.

For some time now, I have been... distraught. As your Holiness may not know, I lost my two sons, valiant young men, in the battle with Vox at Arashi9. Since that evil day, my life has been an empty shell; even watching the final elements of the Voxodus unfold has brought but a small spark of pleasure to me.

This Grand Alliance between Spain and Egypt, however... it has woken something in me, a desire and growing hunger for the world. I wonder if this is not fate, if this indeed does not mean something more than just politics and war, but if the Alliance, and the exposure to your ways and beliefs, might not have meaning for me personally.

I question my long-held belief in Chickenism, and wonder whether your way, following the teachings of Cathol, might be in my future. I would learn of you and from you...

But while I have had my eyes opened to these new wonders... that they be threatened by heathens such as these Chinese and Arabs, why, my anger BURNS on your behalf, and I will not stand for it!

Simply put, my sword is at your feet, in the hope that you will accept my defense.

* Theseus kneels and bows, holding out sword for blessing and benediction

To which I responded:

My dear friend and brother in Christ,

Bow not to me, for after all, I am but a man. It is to the cross that you must bow, for there is ever man's salvation. I only preside over the Church in the place of Christ, before whom ever knee shall bend.

Brother, I am moved by your story. You are clearly and good and honest man, and a true Christian man at that. What does it matter that you speak coarsely to your men? As a soldier, you are expected to do so. Surely, priests of the Church don't speak thus from the pulpits, but no one expects them to. A general speaks thus because his men speak thus, and the men look up to the general and wish to be like him, and likewise, the general wishes to be like his flock so that they will trust him, and when they trust him, there is no place that they will not storm for him. I commend you for your integrity as a man and a soldier. May God shower his blessings upon you and your men!

I deeply grieve over the loss of your two sons. It is a sad time in which we live, when children are buried by parents. But remember that this vale of tears is but a shadow, and that God knows and sees all. Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.

I rejoice at the opening of thy eyes, brother. The Lord does great things, truly. Is there anything that He would not do for sinful man?

Come closer, my son.

*Theseus kneels for baptism. The Pope pours water over his head, and marks him with the Sign of the Cross.

I seal you with the Holy Spirit. Rise, all your sins have been washed away.

I bless you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Take with you this banner, my banner. Fly it above thy regiment as you march into battle. Let they who seek to bring this world to ruin know that God will not allow them to win this war.

My son, I appoint you as the second and final paladin of the Church in Egypt. Cardinal Ralphus serves with you as a paladin. You are a crusader of the Church. Know now that you are Paladin Theseus of the Order of St. Michael. I also appoint you a Cardinal of the Church if you wish to have the position. There shall be, in all, five cardinals appointed to the Curia from Egypt, just as there are five in Spain. Will you honor me by accepting, my friend and brother?

God's Will be done!

Pope Calixtus I

Pope Calixtus I

[civman2000]

I must say that I have no relation to the SPIN article. I don't know who leaked the information to that gossipmongering institution, but whoever it was could've at least asked the Church's permission.

Daniel de la Civ

OOC: I'm making a new character, George Finkle, who is the author of all of my SPIN articles. He is not ethnically Spanish, but rather of one of the small barbarian tribes in the south.

[History Guy]

(privately, to head of the Swiss Secret Service...)

His name's Finkle, George Finkle. He leaked information that we valued. You know what to do.

"Heh heh, jah, das ist richteig, mein Herr..."

[Nuclear Winter]

Pm Sent to Archbishop Beta:

And with the Holy water I convert you to teh catholic religion!
As easy as that, and you can covner tthe rest of your nation. If you want to make it public also no problem since the Vatican shall soon open a thread and a chat for itself.
I appoint you, Beta, First Voxian convert, as Archbishop of Vox Controlli. You are the highest authority on religion in Vox Controlli hencefort, and are to choose 3 men to be the bishops of Vox Controlli, plus yourself, and one of them must be teh missionary bishop (you can also be the missionary bishop, all we need is this missionary to be communicative and try to convert another nation to the catholic church
From times to times (when your cahracter dies, I dunno how you foreigners fo this ) you must gather teh 3 bishops of Vox Controlli to choose amongst themselves the next Archbishop.
And when the Pope dies, all the archbishops and cardinals shall gather to choose the new one.
Apart form that, all your team has to do is to vote and obey the pope´s Councils, mandates and laws, and you guys are encouraged to suggest things to the Pope via messages (Pms...). Might I add that this Pope is specially very open to sugestions and new ideas (not that the old one was not) and few things would make him happier than a Pm regarding church matters... hints , ideas of cool things, sugestions, complains, asking of inquisitional trials...

Well, that´s it,
have a nice day, and may God bless you,
Pablo Winterius,
Archbishop of Spain

[History Guy]

Splendid.

[History Guy]

From Theseus:

To Him, who from evil is able to bring forth good, I render thanks for having mercifully inspired you to extend to me your blessing and your banner.

I am but a military man, Holiness, and must with all humility cry out my unsuitability for the vaulted position of Cardinal of Egypt.

Within your beneficience, I would instead extend upon my role as Paladin of the Order of St. Michael... I propose to create a Knights Templar, dedicated to the corporeal health of the Holy Church and its ministrators, and guide and protector to those in the world who may wish to explore the beauties of Spanish churches and cathedrals.

Until all threats are removed, praised be to God and his son the Lord Jesus, all of the Knights Templar shall take vows of poverty, humitility, and abstinence; we shall live together in martial training and in prayer until all are safe. Ecce quam bonum et quam jocundum habitare fratres in unum - Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.

Already, there has been eggregious loss for the God-fearing folk of Spain. We Knights Templar shall ensure that the heathens make fitting reparation for the losses and wrongs inflicted upon the Church: while my kin and brethren may put down a heavy boot upon seized lands, know that in my heart all of the territory taken shall be under apostolic suzerainty.

I fear, Holiness, that this must remain a private matter for the nonce... but, oh the Glory and Rapture for all of Christendom when we make our intentions known and take the battle to the enemy!!

Humbly,
Paladin Theseus
Nautonnier, le Prieure de Sion

To Theseus:

Beloved son of the Church,

I understand. Archbishop Ralphus may look for other candidates. Please inform him to send me some suggestions if he has any. I am very interested in our missionary activities in Egypt, and I am most anxious to see all men saved. I believe that God has shed His light upon Egypt as He has also done upon Spain. Truly, God has shown the countries of Egypt and Spain His favor! May that we earn it by sharing His Word with the entire world.

The idea for the Knight's Templars is a rather good one, I think. You have my full permission to see to its creation as a Paladin of the Church. I've sent along a group of Swiss bodyguards to assist you in its formation. I thank you, my friend. The Church needs such talented members such as yourself.

It shall indeed be a great day when the idolators see your troops carrying the banner of the Church on Bobian soil!

You may go to your troops with my blessings, my son.

His Will be done,
Pope Calixtus I

Pope Calixtus I

[Nuclear Winter]

We must announce this War as a Holy Crusade as Soon as Possible!

[History Guy]

Well, it has been done...

(slaps head)

And the stenographer...well, he'll never make another mistake again...

Cardinal Biggles