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Eerie Calm Lingers in Legoland
Legopolis, 1990 BC: A strange lull of noteworthy events has overtaken the lands of Lego in recent years. Our industrious people continue laboring away dutifuly, and our mighty warriors continue to explore the lands beyond, but to quote one Legoman, "I dunno, there just doesn't seem to be much going on."
Indeed, even the excitement over Angus the Warrior's discovery of a land bridge in the west has grown dimmer after report after report filed in speaking of "naught but sand." Perhaps future reports will have more thrilling items, but the present remains the same.
Even the filthy barbarians skulking around Farmerville seem to have been affected by this malaise. Some say they wander in the fields out of fear for their lives, but many speculate that they just can't garner up enough motivation to actually attack.
"People of Legoland, fear not!" proclaimed Legos the Wise, addressing the growing epidemic of lethargy, "soon our scientists shall have the secrets of traversing the might seas, and I'm sure we'll find something really cool out there somewhere!"
Time shall tell.
Blockball Less Successful than Planned
Jackson, 1990 BC: Local sports coordinator Edvard Cubit has been removed from his post by popular decree after his less-than-dazzling debut of Blockball. Hailed by Cubit as "the sport by which all other sports will be judged," Blockball had its first public exhibition in the Jackson fields.
The sport, played on a 20 yard by 75 yard field, with two goal posts at each end, consists of two teams of 15 attempting to maneuver a 350 lb. cube of sandstone through the opposing team's goal. Teams may push, pull, or throw the cube from player to player in an effort to move downfield.
Crowd expectations were high at first, with much joyous cheering and revelry. However, midway through the first quarter, the crowd quickly turned hostile, jeering and booing the players on the field. By the ten minute mark, Farmerville Thresher's captain Lars Larson had managed a stunning downfield rush of 2.5 feet, but the fans were not swayed.
When the game was delayed after a Jackson Miner's sweeper, Tio Axlerod, sustained a severe concussion attemping a take-away, the crowd showered the field with a hail of rotten fruits and small stones, and the rest of the days proceedings were cancelled. Within hours, local representatives moved to have Cubit escorted out of the city, and all teams disbanded.
"I don't think they gave it a chance; we really poured our hearts into this" commented Larson. "I guess it's back to the fields for me. Once my hernia heals, that is."
Said Axlerod, "What game are you talking about?"
Barbarians: An Inside Look; A Daily Blueprint Editorial
Farmerville, 1990 BC: In a Daily Blueprint exclusive, ace reporter Deanna Quadrangle managed to obtain an interview with Thangronar, former leader of the North Mountain barbarians, now being held in Jackson awaiting trial, once appropriate laws are discovered. Here is the interview, in its entirety:
Quadrangle: Thank you, Mr. Thangronar, for joining me today. I hope to give the people of Legoland a deeper look into what drives a barbarian, and perhaps help us reach an understanding for a greater peace.
Thangronar: Hrrraaar!
Quadrangle: How long have your people lived in the Northern Mountains?
Thangronar: Yaaaaarrgggh! Crush road, crush mines! Crops... burn!!
Quadrangle: Many are curious as to why you choose to burn our crops to the ground, instead of at least seizing them to feed your own people.
Thangronar: [hisses loudly]
Quadrangle: Mr. Thangronar, would you please stop biting my shoe?
Thangronar: [no response, as Thangronar is hauled into a sealed room by the watchful Numidian Mercenaries on guard, and presumably given a stern talking to.]
In conclusion, the Daily Blueprint can assure its readers that the barbarian threat is real, and they should be slaughtered as quickly and mercilessly as possible.
Legopolis, 1990 BC: A strange lull of noteworthy events has overtaken the lands of Lego in recent years. Our industrious people continue laboring away dutifuly, and our mighty warriors continue to explore the lands beyond, but to quote one Legoman, "I dunno, there just doesn't seem to be much going on."
Indeed, even the excitement over Angus the Warrior's discovery of a land bridge in the west has grown dimmer after report after report filed in speaking of "naught but sand." Perhaps future reports will have more thrilling items, but the present remains the same.
Even the filthy barbarians skulking around Farmerville seem to have been affected by this malaise. Some say they wander in the fields out of fear for their lives, but many speculate that they just can't garner up enough motivation to actually attack.
"People of Legoland, fear not!" proclaimed Legos the Wise, addressing the growing epidemic of lethargy, "soon our scientists shall have the secrets of traversing the might seas, and I'm sure we'll find something really cool out there somewhere!"
Time shall tell.
Blockball Less Successful than Planned
Jackson, 1990 BC: Local sports coordinator Edvard Cubit has been removed from his post by popular decree after his less-than-dazzling debut of Blockball. Hailed by Cubit as "the sport by which all other sports will be judged," Blockball had its first public exhibition in the Jackson fields.
The sport, played on a 20 yard by 75 yard field, with two goal posts at each end, consists of two teams of 15 attempting to maneuver a 350 lb. cube of sandstone through the opposing team's goal. Teams may push, pull, or throw the cube from player to player in an effort to move downfield.
Crowd expectations were high at first, with much joyous cheering and revelry. However, midway through the first quarter, the crowd quickly turned hostile, jeering and booing the players on the field. By the ten minute mark, Farmerville Thresher's captain Lars Larson had managed a stunning downfield rush of 2.5 feet, but the fans were not swayed.
When the game was delayed after a Jackson Miner's sweeper, Tio Axlerod, sustained a severe concussion attemping a take-away, the crowd showered the field with a hail of rotten fruits and small stones, and the rest of the days proceedings were cancelled. Within hours, local representatives moved to have Cubit escorted out of the city, and all teams disbanded.
"I don't think they gave it a chance; we really poured our hearts into this" commented Larson. "I guess it's back to the fields for me. Once my hernia heals, that is."
Said Axlerod, "What game are you talking about?"
Barbarians: An Inside Look; A Daily Blueprint Editorial
Farmerville, 1990 BC: In a Daily Blueprint exclusive, ace reporter Deanna Quadrangle managed to obtain an interview with Thangronar, former leader of the North Mountain barbarians, now being held in Jackson awaiting trial, once appropriate laws are discovered. Here is the interview, in its entirety:
Quadrangle: Thank you, Mr. Thangronar, for joining me today. I hope to give the people of Legoland a deeper look into what drives a barbarian, and perhaps help us reach an understanding for a greater peace.
Thangronar: Hrrraaar!
Quadrangle: How long have your people lived in the Northern Mountains?
Thangronar: Yaaaaarrgggh! Crush road, crush mines! Crops... burn!!
Quadrangle: Many are curious as to why you choose to burn our crops to the ground, instead of at least seizing them to feed your own people.
Thangronar: [hisses loudly]
Quadrangle: Mr. Thangronar, would you please stop biting my shoe?
Thangronar: [no response, as Thangronar is hauled into a sealed room by the watchful Numidian Mercenaries on guard, and presumably given a stern talking to.]
In conclusion, the Daily Blueprint can assure its readers that the barbarian threat is real, and they should be slaughtered as quickly and mercilessly as possible.
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