Lego Declare War on us

[Cort Haus]

via email - with the save game

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Dear Gathered Storms,

Seems there is a breakthrough decision lying ahead both of us and you
in the game. We feel we should make it clear where we stand and what
our intentions are with respect to the current situation. Considering
all the fuss and ill will about past public "manifests", we would like
to let you know in private only.

We are sending you our "message" in two versions. Both basically mean
the very same, but side by side, they probably better fit the purpose
of conveying a "serious message" in a "game played for fun".

First, the version "with a British foreign office slant" (as redstar1,
its author, put it):

Our dearest chums of Gathering Storm,

After having a chat with some of the chaps across the sea, its been
pointed out that you have a jolly large force somewhere near
Yellowknife.

Far be it for us to interfere but we have to say that we aren't quite
tip-top with the idea of you having a picnic so close to GoW's back
yard. In fact, we are afraid to say that its really just not on old
boy.

We do believe that we still have a common interest as well as a
lucrative trade deal. Were you to start a bit of a scrap up north then
we would really have to rethink. I'm sure you understand we can't
really do deals with anyone we don't think is sound.

In short, we'd like you to have a think about the old gameplan. If you
want a cup of tea and a chat just let us know.

Yours Imperiously,
Lego

And the more "formal" version that would, sent alone, probably sound
harsher than we'd intend it to sound.

Honourable Nation of Gathering Storm,

It has been brought to our attention that a strong force of your War
Chicken in full arms just recently landed on the Eastern coast of Bob,
roughly South of Yellowknife.

Although we can naturally not be sure about the plans and intentions
of your generals, we feel the only reason for such a force to land
there would be an attack at the "homeland" cities of GoW and ND.

We are sorry to inform you that if such an attack was to happen or
become imminent, we would consider it an act threatening Legoland's
long-term interests, and as such would cause our nations to enter the
state of war, with the inevitable consequences for our current trade
deals, with no further warning.

Respectfully,
The Senate of Legoland

We would like to stress that our position at the moment is driven by
our long-term goals and plans, not by any grudges we'd hold against
your team. Under different circumstances, we might find ourselves on
your side of the barricade.

Legoland


(edit: question mark added)

[Cort Haus]

So we are now at war with the whole world. Brilliant.

[vulture]

We're not at war yet. I suspect that if we were willing to move our units back down south again, Lego would keep out of it. So do we gain more from having an invasion in the north and being at war with Lego, or confining our attacks to the south? Or are Lego bluffing / able to be convinced that it's not in their best interests to do this?

I think we at least ought to have a stab at trying to convince them that backing up their threat is a mistake. Either we end up at war with Lego as well, and GoW / ND share Bob (and we pull out to defend our home from Lego) - which isn't good for either of us - or we fight GoW only in the south, which probably isn't a winning proposition for us either - we can fight to a stalemate, preventing ND from gaining any more territory (it doesn't matter if GoW gain territory in the south since it is so corrupt for them), and slowly rebuilding RP cities (and new cities for us, which was the point of the enterprise after all). This is the course of action that suits Lego obviously, because they continue to research while their three serious competitors continue to waste themselves in a war which isn't benefiting anybody.

Is it worth mentioning this line of reasoning to Lego, and saying basically that since keeping the fight in the south plays into Legos hands, we're not going to do that. We're going to fight in the north, and if Lego are going to get involved then we are going to leave Bob alone, get peace with ND and GoW (which both are prepared to do once we are off Bob) and concentrate on fighting Lego, while ND and GoW share Bob between them, 'cos we don't have any better options right now.

[Cort Haus]

OK I over-reacted , it just felt like it.

At least we have forced our opponents hand, and we now know where we stand (in a deep hole).

Options?

1. Phuque Lego and attack GoW or ND.

2. Focus on holding the South and rebuilding Spain.

3. Relocate RP to Stormia to end the war, with us taking their cities on Bob and clearing the diplomatic slate?

the last looks better to me, I feel.

[OPD]

I'd like to propose this as a draft message to Lego,

Legos,

we are somewhat bemused by your recent communications with us. There have long been rumours about your support of GoW in this dispute which we find confusing and now we recieve a "threat" which we see as utterly ridiculous.

There was much discussion between us, GoW and ND prior to their DoW on RP which you were not informed of. We cannot discuss these although we can say state that our intensions in this war are and will always be to prevent GoW and ND from taking full control of Bob. Two warlike allies joined at the hip with the most of the worlds production and resources would be far too powerful and would mean game over for everyone else.

This is why we are at war ATM, had we chosen to stay out of things or perhaps even help them we would have gotten a very very sweet deal out of it, which would have impacted upon you. However the looming threat would make it only a matter of time before we too were vassalized and the game being in the hands of GoW/ND.

Preventing them from becoming superpowers benefits you as much as it does us obviously, especially as it was not us next on the hit list. So you can imagine our frustration when we hear reports that you are actually helping out GoW and ND?

It was believed that you too would see the threat posed by GoW and ND and also aid RP in pushing back the advance. However that fact that instead you siezed upon this opportunity to get everyone else embroilled in a stagnating war which only benefits you is saddening.


We have been in communication with GoW and ND throughout the war and there has been many discussions about how things could work out better. There have been many openning for us to make a deal although so far none that don't give GoW more power than we'd like. Did you really think they were going to do a build off?

We hope that you have not completely made up your mind where you stand in this war. Although it is apparent that you probably have.

Your communication will again force us to rethink our activity in this war, perhaps it would be better for us to cut a deal with GoW now and then fight it out further down the line with you out of the picture.

GS

so what do you think?
I don't know if it'll work, probably needs alot of editing.

Also of note, from the save, is that we are no longer 1st in MFG.

[Cort Haus]

Here's another take on the same subject - written before I'd seen OPD's draft.


proposed reply - from the GS British Diplomacy wing:

Vondrack,

My dear, dear chap. So awfully good of you to get in contact with us. Yes, we're fine thanks, and the wife and kids are doingly splendidly too, thank-you. They'll be so thrilled you asked after them. And how are you and yours - everything OK I hope? I was so please to hear that your dog got over that nasty business with the extra lumps on her back and is now fitting togther nicely with her companion.

So what about this other thing you mentioned - our little expeditionary force in GoW? There's something we can't quite put our finger on, and it's why you are choosing to intervene against the side that's getting its arse kicked all over Spain? For many long years now the valiant Stormian youth have been shedding their blood to defend Spain and keep the world, including the grand, noble and dignified Legonians, safe from the venomous dark warmongering hordes of ND/GoW.

But now, at this critical moment, and after much sacrifice, we are finally in a position to strike a blow ourselves, when to our utter astonishment we find that our good trading partners and self-declared peaceful builders the Legonians are in fact allied to the evil blood-drinking superpowers who seek to enslave us all.

If GS are defeated, as is your evident intention, who will Lego be able to ally with when your friends the reapers of souls turn their sharpened scythes on their next, and rather obvious target - yourselves?

[Cort Haus]

I suggest we rename Lego as 'Isengard' - led by 'Vondrack of Many Colours'.

[OPD]

Originally posted by Cort Haus
proposed reply - from the GS British Diplomacy wing:

this is starting to look a lot like the 2nd world war, with us as the British, RP as the French and Lego as the Americans standing by while the Germans and Italians (GoW) try to take over the world.

[Cort Haus]

Proposed message to GoW:

Hi guys,

How's it hanging? You forgot to get Vox to threaten us last turn too. Doubtless you have them there too defending your near-naked nests while we all slug it out down south to let your mates Lego win the game.

So what's the score? If we persuade RP to relocate chez-nous are you released from existing contractual obligations to re-consider the future? Or have you already signed up to be 'Lego's personal goons for the rest of the game'?

Obviously we're not thrilled at being the one team in a three-on-to-one scrap, and if we look like we're doomed some of us might even vote to take down someone - anyone - with us. Presumably the nearest, smallest and most vunerable would be likely. I'd have to check the map to see who that might be.

All our love,

GS

[Harovan]

Cort Haus' last message to GoW looks good. My message to Vondrack would be short: **** you! Good thing I am not a diplomat.

I repeat my proposal from a few turns ago, to stop our advance at Bob, pretending to obey, just maintain a draw in the south (we can do this with low forces), try to get GoW to backstab, and land at Lego in 20-30 turns.

[Arrian]

I'm inclined to agree with SR. Short, simple response:

**** you. We're coming. Get out of the way, or get run over.

Of course, I'm sure that in a few minutes I'll cool down and realize that's a bad idea, but I just can't see that right now.

-Arrian

[Theseus]

Please don't send out anything yet... I am tight for time today, but would like us all to work on our diplo stance.

Thought for the day: How do we take advantage, and arrange a GoW backstab of ND?

[Arrian]

MY draft response:

Legoland,

You have chosen... poorly. I bear you no malice, but I do believe you have either made a mistake, or you have decided that your long-term stategic interest is not a balance of power. I regret this situation, as it has never been my desire to fight Legoland.

Nonetheless, since leaving GoW's homeland untouched is simply unacceptable from our standpoint, our northern force will not be retreating due to your threats. Stand aside, or prepare to be attacked.

-Arrian

[OPD]

I have to admit a simple **** you would be a hell of alot of fun to send certainly the last thing they'd expect and a nice way to strike fear into the hearts of GoW.

With Lego now being no1 in MFG they are the real long term danger now not us. We can perhaps use this and the fact that we pose more of an immenent threat to persuade GoW to do the right thing.

[Arrian]

One should note that Lego are almost certainly NOT bluffing. We fight them, we trigger their GA.

So it would not only be 3 vs. 1.5 (not even), it would be 3 in GA v. 1.5.

****ing hell.

-Arrian