Happy Hollidays, mark II

[UnOrthOdOx]

Let us reminisce:

How the Glory of War Stole the Peace Deal
By the Glory of War

Every Stormian
Down in Estonia
Liked their peace deal a lot...

But the Warmongers,
Who lived just West of Estonia,
Did NOT!

The Warmongers hated Peace Deals! The whole peaceful posting!
No, they all liked their wars, and War Chickens for Roasting.
It could be that their heads weren't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that their armor was too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason to date
May have been that their stomachs lacked food on their plate.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Whether armor or tummy,
They went riding for chicken, it looking quite yummy,
Staring out from their hills with rumbling belly
At the plump clucking War Chickens and Stormian jelly.
For they knew that the enemy shared similar vices:
Honor, Pride, original herbs and spices.

And they've called for a meeting!" Aggie proclaimed with a grin.
"Claiming a wish to ally, to help us to win!"
Then he growled with a curse mocking this greeting,
"I MUST find a poor soul, perhaps two, to attend to this meeting!"
For, the meeting, he knew...

...All those attending, Stormians or not
Would be stuck in the chatroom. Patiently awaiting to talk.
And then! Oh, the Talk! Oh, the Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk!
That's one thing he hated! The TALK! TALK! TALK! TALK!

Then the Stormians, and Warmongers alike, would sit down to hash.
And they'd hash! And they'd hash!
And they'd HASH! HASH! HASH! HASH!
They would start on the border, and who got the west or the east!
A concept that he knew some warmongers would not stand for, at least!

And THEN
They'd do something most appalling of all!
All Stormians present, or active at all
Would stand firm in their stance, no sign of bowing.
They'd stand so steadfast. "Roleplay must live" they'ld be vowing!

They'd vow! And they'd vow!
AND they'd VOW! VOW! VOW! VOW!
And the more King Aggie thought of the Stormian-Roleplay-Vow.
The more that he thought, "Why is this happening now?
"Why twas not long ago we gave them a chance or two!
I MUST send someone to keep their cool
...But WHO?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
KING AGGIE
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just who to send!" King Aggie grinned making for his PM box.
And he made a quick message to Master Zen and to 'dOx.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Warmonger team!
"With UnOrthOdOx and Zen, what info we could ream!"

"I'll make up the outline..."
UnO exclaimed with some pride.
Believing in his heart, on organization all would ride.
And they sat there for hours....
when UnOrthOdOx finally said,
"Can we get to a point, I need to get to bed!"
For several hours he sat, digesting all that he read
Where GS took hours, UnO took five minutes instead.

THEN
With the chat all finished
The proposals wrote up
The Warmongers went home
And they slapped a vote up.

Then Ghengis cried out
"I can't live with this junk!
Just look over at Roleplay,
All Spain smells like skunk!"

It was outside of Pamplona, down in some trees
GS forces had gathered, responding to Spain's pleas
But soon ND forces ran down and slaughtered with ease.
"Look down on all those chickens" Old King Aggie spat
"They're ripe for the plucking, we can't miss on that."

The warmongers flew from the Alamo with glee.
And joined in with ND in the mass killing spree.
They fought possessed, spurred on with hunger pain,
and soon the WarChickens were falling like rain.
Donegeal looked over the carnage, he knew what to do.
"These Chickens," he grinned, "Will be just great in a stew!"

They felt not but respect, as the War Chickens they plucked.
GS had fought hard, their choice of allies just sucked!
Nuggets! And Stews! Ratatouille! Buffalo Wings!
They ate Curry! Marsalla! Dijon! a la King!
And they stuffed all their faces. It all tasting quite yummy.
And they went to bed that night, each one with a full tummy!

And Darekill went out to the forum, with a poem he wrote.
He posted it up, not of ND meaning to gloat.
But OPD was watching and as quick as a flash.
"Why" he replied "do you guys keep posting this trash!"

This angered UnOrthOdOx, enough to make his lips quiver.
"Oh GS!" He went and shouted, "Go cry me a River!"

And GS gathered 'round OPD, perhaps some thought it a sport
And soon sides were exchanging each in fiery retort.
As the forum errupted for all out there to see!
It gained the attention of all, even the one known as NYE.

And both sides lobbed volleys by those who were bitter
Or perhaps from a few not wanting to be dubbed as a quitter.
Asleepatthewheel attempted to get some sanity back,
As he called out for peace and to pass the prozac.

But, you know, that old UnO was just an ornery old grouch
“Removing GS is my quest” he did vouch
"I’m tired of them, as they save whereitsat’s life”
"It’s even come to a point where they’ve pissed off my wife.”
"I made them an offer I felt fair not long ago.”
"I wonder if it’s looking better to them yet, or no?"

And not many seemed to care for this recent upheaval
Nor of UnOrthOdOx or of his portrayal of evil.
In the end what they thought he could care less,
And only the slightest remorse did he feel for starting this mess!

To the game all minds turned
The situations to assess.
And the Glory of War sought at last to progress.
And the fled from the Alamo praying to the RNG for success.

And they found forces of GS
All camped out on a hill
They went into the fight, hoping for more chickens to grill.


Then
They enjoyed once again
A feast of chickens and jelly

And they smiled
And they laughed
Once again with food in their belly!

It was back on the forum...
The old bastard spoke
MrWhereItsAt, still in hiding
and he posted a joke,
A plea to “save roleplay! The Pope! And the squid!
The stench! And even that woman with beard! Let none forbid!”

And there in the forum, the one that is secret,
Ennet rode in wearing his allecret.
Sounding quite eloquent with his rhymes and his prose.
And Donegeal there a suggestion did propose
And Ennet went to the public with a fine dissertation
And posted it up before every nation
Then waited to see whether met with contempt or elation.

"Oh brother," grumbled UnO,
with a grimace and a growl.
”As soon as they see it all of GS will cry foul.”
And he watched and he waited, looking for any reply.
That would in some way wrong doing imply...

But the replies weren’t mocking!
Why, they sounded quite pleasant!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS, at least from those present!

He stared down at Estonia!
Old UnO popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Stormian down in Estonia, the short and the grown,
at least all of those who made themselves known
They didn’t seem to angry it seemed!
They laughed!
And it appeared that they actually sat down for a draft!

And old ‘dOx, with his brows furrowed in a row,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
I don’t see complaints! I don’t see any flames!
"They aren’t so much as calling out names!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then Old UnO thought of his tattered rapport,
"Maybe this forum," he thought, "I don’t need to ignore.
"Maybe...perhaps...I just got a bit too grumpy before!"

From whence would this poem come...?
Well...in GoW they say
That UnO’s bottled anger,
just seemed to melt right away!
And when he saw all the others delight,
He locked himself in the private forum to write.
Inspired by the likes of WhereItsAt and of Ennet!
that he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
UnOrthOdOx sat down to pen it!

[UnOrthOdOx]

And it's original:

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
by Dr. Suess

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Who girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..."
The Grinch looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...?
No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.

THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Max.

Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.

The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.
And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.

And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.


Then
He did the same thing
To the other Whos' houses

Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Whos' mouses!

It was quarter past dawn...
All the Whos, still a-bed
All the Whos, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Who-ville!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
The Grinch carved the roast beast!

[UnOrthOdOx]

The Dawn Before D-Day
by UnOrthOdOx

'Twas the Dawn before D-Day, all 'cross the land,
All of Lego lay dreaming, how space would be grand;

Their cities were great, their production unmatched,
All because their island had started detached;

Their game had been fair, their diplomacy nice,
If anything, you could say that this was their one vice;

And Kloreep with his food, Vondrack with his plans,
Were confident they could defeat all the other clans,

When off of the shore came GoW planes Bombing,
Sending all those poor kittens off for embalming.

And Tiberius went to raise the alarm,
"Won't anyone help save the cows on our farm?"

When a glorious site showed up on the shore,
Two mighty navies, with transports galore,

They rallied the navy, a mighty blow they struck
though GS still claimed it was all just pure luck,

With a cunning maneuver, so sneaky and slick,
A fort city, they hoped, would do just the trick.

Imposing the site, Lego's army did display,
But Master Zen was not about to dismay;

"Now, Crossing! Camp David! Horsefish and Panama!
Ahhmyfoot! Sharehaven! Kloreep and Zargonia!

Now into their cities! And over their wall!
Now Pillage! Now Rampage! They all shall fall!"

As outside of Fort Stanwix, the GoW army stood,
Old Aggie smelled blood, and was up to no good,

So up to the sky the bombers they flew,
With bombs for the kittens, and Old Aggie too.

And then, in the distance, a sound as of thunder;
Ghengis had his artillery firing asunder.

As the smoke fin'ly cleared, assault began at large,
With none other than Hot Enamel leading the charge.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his tanks were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

Waves of Marines, he had at his side,
Going from house to house, no place to hide.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! His mouth how it sneered!
With a wave of his hand, the whole town disappeared!

With a need for the populace to enamor,
UnO himself rode into Port Hammer;

With greed in his eyes and showing no remorse,
He took over the town still using his sword and his horse;

GoW moved 'cross the land both lucky and swift,
Causing Lego to look more than just a little miffed.

As reality set in, it may have all been in vain,
Had it not been for a transport, captain insane;

What a strange twist, I think it must be fate,
The major wars in this game all end ‘round this date;

Who knows, perhaps it’s simply my mission,
A new poem a year, a holiday tradition,

Of a Play the World Demogame war,
And all the activity they seem to restore;

Join with me now as we raise glass in holiday cheer,
To a fine Lego opponent, in the war of the year!

But I say to you now, next year I may write,
How an ICBM finally removes WhereItsAt from my sight!

[UnOrthOdOx]

And the original:

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
by Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

[vondrack]

[vmxa1]

Amazing

[Theseus]

(although I think nuking RP may be a bit of overkill )

[Hot_Enamel]

[Cort Haus]

Good work again UnO

[MrWhereItsAt]

Originally posted by Theseus


(although I think nuking RP may be a bit of overkill )

Oh, your latest info says I'm there?

But oh hell - have I got to outrun a nuclear missile now?

Awesome UnO. Just simply awesome. I agree, there is something about the holidays that leads to war - I just declared my first one in a PBEM as well.

[notyoueither]

I'm sure I last heard dubya was with a settler, floating around the pole somewhere.

Good stuff, UnO.

[conmcb25]

great job UnO!

[Octavian X]

Great stuff.

Want to post that on the main site as CivGroup news?

[alva]

You know, I think this is how myths start out.

A while ago some kids were fooling around and suddnely the whole world is searching for atlantis.
In 2000 years archeologists wil scouring the earth searching for such places as Stormia...


Nice work Ortho.

[MrWhereItsAt]

Originally posted by Octavian X


Great stuff.

Want to post that on the main site as CivGroup news?

Done and done...

Actually, I was hoping to submit it, then approve it later, but it seems I can bypass the approval step... Not sure QUITE what's happening here, but I must have some kind of privileges.