Legoland Tribune- Legoland's Coast Stormed!!!

[rendelnep]

Legoland Coast Stormed!


Storm Gathers over Western Ocean as 14 ships are destroyed in an unprovoked attack by Stormia and GOW

Legopolis - The streets are silent today as millions mourn the losses suffered in what will go down in infamy as Legoland’s first war since the continent was settled. In a senseless and unprovoked attack, Stormia has destroyed eleven of Legoland’s vessels with estimated casualties of 2500 and reports of 200 sailors captured in the foray. The Ironclad class HBS Shark, HBS Sledgehammer, HBS Maul, HBS Southfork, HBS Iron, the Destroyer class HBS Achilles, HBS Poseidon, HBS Argonaut, HBS Athena, and the Submarine U-Q2 were all sunk by Stormian destroyers and additionally GOW sunk the HBS Sword, HBS Swordfish and the HBS Iron Maiden in what some describe as a ‘merciless assault on the conscience of humanity’.

On a lighter note, the crew of HBS Maul fought courageously and sunk one destroyer in the first wave of the assault. The Numidian Mercenary Corps report a sharp rise in volunteers today as thousands of men and women, young and old, sign up in hope to defend the shores. “The response is overwhelming; right now all we can do is hand out old rifles and list their names. It's not surprising really; I suppose everyone is outraged by what happened. I’ve heard some people come in because they want to lay their brothers and sisters to rest and the way they see it, the only way to do that is fight against the foul beasts that committed this crime’ said one of the NMC officials.

His Brickness Legos the Wise made the following speech: ‘This cowardly assault by two nations having their histories plagued by wars is clearly an action of no remorse and no consideration for human life. This day marks the beginning of a new war between the forces of good and evil. I call upon all free nations to condemn the war started by the yellow-bellied poultry that calls itself the Government of Stormia and hope the rogue state ruled by the Glory of War regime realizes the folly of their misguided adventure’.

The remembrance service is expected to be held at 1pm on Thursday at the Holy Great Cathedral of the Brick-mother and a 2 minute silence will be held across the nation.

In further news, the reports of war have also stirred the ultra nationalist VOXnation Party to call for the Voxian government to join the war alongside Legoland and reclaim their motherland. The VOXnation Party leader issued this statement: ‘It's time to aid our ally Legoland against the bloodthirsty Storm Chickens, and reclaim the motherland stolen from us long ago. Estonia for the Voxians!!!!’ Upon hearing this proclamation, the Voxian government laughed his suggestion off and placed him in a cell to sober up. Asked about the possibility of supporting Legoland militarily, President Rhothaerill made the stance of his government very clear: ‘Ha, they’re nuts, I think we can safely say we learnt from what happened last time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, well… that won’t happen’.

[Arrian]

Stormia Today - Tsunami Strikes Blockheads!

THE STORM BREAKS - WAR WITH LEGOLAND!

Eye of the Storm: June 1st, 1250AD

Stormian "Grand Poobah" DeepO announced today that Stormian and Warmonger fleets had launched Operation Miserly Loves Company against the nefarious Blockhead nation.

"Friends, countrymen... STORMIANS! Today, we strike the first blow of the War To End All Wars!" thundered the Poobah, to the cheers of thousands. Minister of War Aeson added "Well, maybe."

"I think it's great!" said Jimmy, age 12. "Those wussies have been hiding on their big island for, like, ever!"

"This is a terrible day in Stormian History" remarked Flavius Arrianus XXIV, professor of Medieval History at Stormian University. "But, unfortunately, it's the only way to win." When asked for clarification on what he meant by "win" the professor muttered something about a "Space Ship" and "the United Nations," laughed maniacally, and fled. We at Stormia Today wish the professor a speedy recovery.

"This is a great day! Today we are vindicated! Today we rise to the challenge! No more weakness, no more cowering! Today we show the world what we're made of!" remarked Frater Ralph, head of the notorious yet shadowy Ralphus Cult. When asked why he had not joined the military in its glorious mission, the Frater indicated that he was a member of a special reserve unit assigned to guarding against a potential Spanish invasion.

[Arrian]

Oh, and great story, rendelnep.

-Arrian

[ZargonX]

and "the United Nations,"

Were you planning on voting for us, then?

[Arrian]

No, and I doubt you were planning on voting for us (indeed, you couldn't unless we build it ).

-Arrian

[vmxa1]

rendelnep that was well written and funny, thanks for the chuckles.

[Theseus]

to both rendelnep and Arrian.

[alva]

Yep to the both of you, especially the VOX and the Arrianus parts.

[Rhothaerill]

Failed Coup Attracts Worldwide Attention

by Rhothaerill - RhothSPIN Press

A sad turn of events has rocked the nation of Voxtavia back onto its heels. Beta "Don't Call Me Hound" Mellencamp, the descendant of the famous war hero Betahound, and leader of the radical and deranged VOXnation Party staged a coup this morning designed to remove the lawfully elected and greatly beloved Speaker of the Voice, Rhothaerill XIII.

One day earlier, the contentious Beta had issued a statement decrying the peaceful leadership of the line of Rhothaerill and taking the fight to the friendly Stormians. He was quickly taken into custody as a malcontent, but today, hours after his release, he spoke again to the people of Voxtavia,

"We must remove the cowardly Speaker of the Voice and install a new leader, one who will take back our old homeland of Estonia instead of pandering to the Storm Chickens. My friends, my people, my Immortals, lend me your strength and together we will end this reign of peace and bring war to the entire world. Do it for me, but most of all, do it for our ancestors who once lived on the paradise of Estonia. Meet me at the steps of the capitol in New Voice at 3pm and we will be victorious!"

Alas for poor Beta Mellencamp, only a few ancient Immortals wielding rusty scimitars and geritol came to his summons.

Beta Mellencamp was quickly taken into custody once more where an immediate sentence of public flogging with a wet noodle was decreed and carried out by in person by Speaker of the Voice Rhothaerill. After sentence Beta Mellencamp was taken to the dungeons below New Voice once again, perhaps never to be seen again.

Of the failed coup, Speaker Rhothaerill had only this to say, "Voxtavia is mine, and our people follow the ways of peace and fun. No throwback to the ancient times of war and slaughter will ever rule our nation while the line of Rhothaerill still lives."

RhothSPIN Press interviewed some local Voxtavians to hear their opinions on the failed coup:

From a man named Wittlich in a bar, "Hic. Well, ah don't realluh know what to think, hear ya see. Hic. Ah realluh don' care who leads us as long as Ah've got muh ale. Hic."

From a man named snoopy369, "Far be it for me to disagree with our esteemed leader, but the line of the great Betahound must be heard. I will find him in his prison and request his release. Beta Mellencamp, the great and then some grandson of the war hero Betahound will someday lead this country into an age of Hound Prosperity where all dogs may be free."

And there you have it folks.








This message was approved by Speaker Rhothaerill

[Tiberius]

for all of the articles and writers. We want more

[Jack_www]

Please note that this is not an offical statement form the government of Legoland, and was made on my own.


Jackson - At the city that was named after him, Jack_www the First President of Legoland issued this press release about the great war with Stormia:

“I make this statement today not just to the brave people of Legoland but to all free peoples of the world. The nation of Stormia has shown its true colors with its attack on our naval forces. They are a warmonger nation that seeks to rule the entire world and wish to destroy all those that stand in the way of that goal. Stormia and their allies are a grave threat to the free world and must be stopped at all costs. They welcome war as if were something to look forward to or rejoice over and they see the very existence of Legoland as a threat to their plans for world domination.

Soon Stormia will learn that it was a mistake to attack Legoland, and they will regret the day they attack us. They have awoken a sleeping Giant that will soon defeat their invasion forces and free the world of this threat. So I say to Legoland and all the free nations of the world, that we must be united against this common threat. United we will stand, divided we will fall. Together we can defeat Stormia and put an end to their plans for world domination.”