Tabejin Times: The Cattle Drive

[UnOrthOdOx]

Disclaimer: This is intended in fun, and in fun only. No disrespect meant to any parties directly or indirectly mentioned. I will not post disclaimer again.


ZargonX tackles the monster!

A new food craze has ripped across the lands of tabemono. And in it's wake, has left tabejin hungering for more.

Spurred on mostly by boredom, and an inhuman appetite, ZagonX has commandeered team leadership in an effort to tackle the beast.

[UnOrthOdOx]

Public Announcement

[UnOrthOdOx]

Secret Alliance?

Word has begun spreading of a secret alliance between Cake or Death and the Latin Lover teams.


As imports of both Cake and Chilled Monkey Brains continued their slump in the capitol, many began to wonder the cause.

While it may be true that monkey brains are becomming an increasingly rare delicassy, all indications are that team Cake or Death should be more than capable of producing more cake than ever. Leaders have begun openly questioning the reason behind the drastic cake shortage.

"Eating all this red meat is wonderful and all, but one wants a little desert to go with it." Kloreep was heard saying.

CoD officials adamantly deny that there is any such change in production and delivery, however:

"Dear lord, have you seen those guys eat? The world couldn't produce enough cake for that growing populace of gluttons!" Theseus claimed.

Our spies just may have uncovered the truth behind this situation, however, and have forwarded us this photo:

[Cort Haus]

caption for Izzard pic :

"... and DON'T call me daisy!!"

[UnOrthOdOx]

Latin Lover Armies On the Moove!

This just in from the front.

A massive column of Latin Lover Armies has attacked and captured the town of Lolita. Brave Tabejin stood in defiance, eating to the very end, but apparantly there are limits to what even Tabejin can eat.

"It is quite clear they died very happy" ZargonX reported in a news conference. "It is every tabejin's dream to die while eating at an all you can eat buffet. But, alas, they finally HAD all they could eat in the wake of that massive stampede."

Survivors from the front are under watch in area hospitals while their arteries are unclogged.

"It was horrible, all you could hear was 'mooing' everywhere!" one remarked.

[UnOrthOdOx]

Handy guide for those wishing to join in the feast

We here at Tabemono understand that some might be overwhelmed at the prospect of joining in this feast due to a lack of understanding the butchering process.

We have therefore released this handy guide for all those who hunger for a little red meat:

[Modo44]

Darn it. All the others are having fun, and we are just chasing primate ghosts.

[Rhothaerill]

Come join us. There is yummy beef to go around. Much better tasting than chilled monkey brains.

[UnOrthOdOx]

MOO!
Latin forces in full retreat

With the initial counter dutifully carved up and distributed among the troops, Latin forces have begun a full scale withdrawl from 'the tail'.

The line of cattle stetched long into the horizon on beef trail. Riders have been sent to begin herding the valuable beef back into the mainland for processing.

[Beta]

Originally posted by UnOrthOdOx

While it may be true that monkey brains are becomming an increasingly rare delicassy,

The real reason is that they move so slowly that they have not captured or killed a monkey in hundreds of years.

[Octavian X]

Originally posted by Beta


The real reason is that they move so slowly that they have not captured or killed a monkey in hundreds of years.

Why would we want to eat any? Everyone knows that the disappearence of Monkey cities was caused by Mad Monkey Disease.

[Beta]

Originally posted by Octavian X


Why would we want to eat any? Everyone knows that the disappearence of Monkey cities was caused by Mad Monkey Disease.

Not true. Another vicious rumour spread by the axis of evil.

The truth of the matter is that the Monkeys realized that the pursuit of this thing called "Civilization" is not all it is cracked up to be. We have climbed up to a more advanced state of existence.

Beta tosses a huge pile of monkey dung at OctavianX

[Cort Haus]

Originally posted by Beta

We have climbed up to a more advanced state of existence.

What, shivering on top of a hill called 'Whale Song'?

[Cort Haus]

Originally posted by Beta
The real reason is that they move so slowly that they have not captured or killed a monkey in hundreds of years.

Hey what about that loose archer two turns ago? Or the pillaging warrior two turns before that? Or the lone numid stranded out east who'll never see his comrades again?