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Monkey Madness
Surly Simians Run Amok in Pythonian Capital
Camelot, Jan. 71 AD — Thousands of monkeys are creating havoc in the corridors of power in the Pythonian capital, barging into government offices, stealing food, threatening bureaucrats, and even ripping apart valuable document
The increasingly aggressive animals swing effortlessly between the offices of the defense, finance and external affairs ministries, and have even been spotted in the prime minister’s office, government officials say. “They are moving in very high security areas,” said defence ministry officer Sir Ralph. According to estimates by officials, there are at least 10,000 monkeys scampering in and around the stately red sandstone buildings just a stone’s throw from the grand palace.
Can't Kill Monkeys
But officials say there is little they can do to deal with the monkey invasion of the government buildings, built by the country’s rulers several hundreds of years ago .Killing them is not an option because monkeys have equal rights as sentient beings. Authorities used to capture the monkeys and ship them to neighbouring states. But that option now is closed because many states say they have enough trouble coping with their own monkey population.
Chief Director of ******* Darekill said "Ha!!! I told you this would happen!!! They jhought I was crazy when I warned them that these monkies were vicious but they wouldn't listen, Oh how I warned them!!!"
Humans vs. Simians
Two years ago, the government had a high-level meeting to seek a permanent solution to the problem. Suggestions ranged from setting up a separate park for captured primates to “monkey contraception.”
But little has been done since then and government employees still walk warily to work armed with sticks and stones to prevent monkey attacks.
“I am sometimes faced with groups of monkeys, big huge looking fellows,” said government employee Rendelnep . “What I do is make some noise with my shoes so the monkey moves away. If that doesn’t work then I get the bow and arrow out, that usually scares em’ ”. Equal rights activists and pacifiasts say the main problem isn’t the rising number of monkeys but the growing population of humans. “We have encroached on their homelands, we have taken away their fruits, we have reduced their water sources and we are trapping them from their home range, from their forests, so they are coming to the urban areas,” said a expatriate Sunshine member.
Orignial Story here
Surly Simians Run Amok in Pythonian Capital
Camelot, Jan. 71 AD — Thousands of monkeys are creating havoc in the corridors of power in the Pythonian capital, barging into government offices, stealing food, threatening bureaucrats, and even ripping apart valuable document
The increasingly aggressive animals swing effortlessly between the offices of the defense, finance and external affairs ministries, and have even been spotted in the prime minister’s office, government officials say. “They are moving in very high security areas,” said defence ministry officer Sir Ralph. According to estimates by officials, there are at least 10,000 monkeys scampering in and around the stately red sandstone buildings just a stone’s throw from the grand palace.
Can't Kill Monkeys
But officials say there is little they can do to deal with the monkey invasion of the government buildings, built by the country’s rulers several hundreds of years ago .Killing them is not an option because monkeys have equal rights as sentient beings. Authorities used to capture the monkeys and ship them to neighbouring states. But that option now is closed because many states say they have enough trouble coping with their own monkey population.
Chief Director of ******* Darekill said "Ha!!! I told you this would happen!!! They jhought I was crazy when I warned them that these monkies were vicious but they wouldn't listen, Oh how I warned them!!!"
Humans vs. Simians
Two years ago, the government had a high-level meeting to seek a permanent solution to the problem. Suggestions ranged from setting up a separate park for captured primates to “monkey contraception.”
But little has been done since then and government employees still walk warily to work armed with sticks and stones to prevent monkey attacks.
“I am sometimes faced with groups of monkeys, big huge looking fellows,” said government employee Rendelnep . “What I do is make some noise with my shoes so the monkey moves away. If that doesn’t work then I get the bow and arrow out, that usually scares em’ ”. Equal rights activists and pacifiasts say the main problem isn’t the rising number of monkeys but the growing population of humans. “We have encroached on their homelands, we have taken away their fruits, we have reduced their water sources and we are trapping them from their home range, from their forests, so they are coming to the urban areas,” said a expatriate Sunshine member.
Orignial Story here
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