Mr. Al-Sahaf: Thank you for coming. It is with great pride that the Iraqi Government announces that the handsome and most intelligent OPD has been legitimately and unanimously elected as Glorious Leader, Supreme Overlord, Evil Dictator, Crusher of Souls of the Iraqi Government.
The vote was conducted in complete fairness! Our great and glorious leader merely called for a referendum to confirm himself as supreme leader of the people and the people UNANIMOUSLY agreed!
This makes the Iraqi Government a DEMOCRACY!
It is unfortunate that other governments are not so democratic! Their people are divided! They vote for different candidates other than the leader! But in the Iraqi Government, there is the leader, and everyone votes for him! No-one is threatened or coerced, they do so of their own free will!
As stated by our most illustrious Minister of Peace, Love, and Understanding, the Most Handsome and Intelligent bongo concerning OPD's fair and honorable conduct in the race, "Even better, you didn't threaten anyone with guns!"
A true statement by bongo himself! Indeed, OPD never threatened anyone with guns during the ENTIRE campaign! Indeed, he threatened no-one with any weapon of ANY KIND!
This free and fair election proves that the Iraqi Government is both fully democratic AND that OPD is indeed the chosen of the ENTIRE people, not just some miniscule portion of the people as in other civilizations!
Given the enormous success of this first election, the reaction of President OPD was:
So you can see that not only do the people love OPD, but OPD LOVES THE PEOPLE!
After his confirmation as the Supreme Leader of the Iraqi Government, OPD named several other members of the MAST to positions within his cabinet. Together, they shall plan how the Iraqi Government and its people will cause their enemies to caugh up obscene amounts of blood and suffer from acute abdominal pain!
Now, I am read for your questions!
Yes, you.
Reporter: Sir, how many people voted?
Mr. Al-Sahaf: All the people! All the people who had it in their hearts to vote for OPD because they loved OPD then... voted for OPD!!! Which happened to be... EVERYONE!
Now, you over there, what is it?
Reporter: Sir, what other candidates were on the ballot?
Mr. Al-Sahaf: Other candidates?! I already TOLD YOU! OPD simply announced that he was running and begun a referendum on his leadership. The matter was settled when EVERYONE voted in favor! What point would there be to someone else announcing their candidacy when the current candidate has 100% of the vote?
You.
Reporter: Was there an arrangement ahead of time to ensure that Mr. OPD received 100% of the vote?
Mr. Al-Sahaf: So you're asking whether the vote was rigged? IT WAS NOT RIGGED! REALLY! OPD HONESTLY GOT EVERY SINGLE VOTE CAST! There was NO arrangement ahead of time, OPD had not even informed but one other person he was running and then he simply started the referendum! And, as I've already told you, EVERYONE voted for him! Now stop asking me stupid questions! You are asking me these types of questions on behalf of the evil mercenaries who plan to attack us, perhaps? If so, you are worse than CNN and will no longer be safe here!
Now, that will be all for the question segment.
(a bunch of guys in uniforms come into the room carrying clubs - they begin dancing and waving their clubs about over their heads...)
The people for OPD! OPD for the people! The people for OPD! OPD for the people! The people for OPD! OPD for the people! Everyone loves OPD! OPD loves everyone! Everyone loves OPD! OPD loves everyone!
(somewhat distracted reporters file out as the singing and dancing continue)
The vote was conducted in complete fairness! Our great and glorious leader merely called for a referendum to confirm himself as supreme leader of the people and the people UNANIMOUSLY agreed!
This makes the Iraqi Government a DEMOCRACY!
It is unfortunate that other governments are not so democratic! Their people are divided! They vote for different candidates other than the leader! But in the Iraqi Government, there is the leader, and everyone votes for him! No-one is threatened or coerced, they do so of their own free will!
As stated by our most illustrious Minister of Peace, Love, and Understanding, the Most Handsome and Intelligent bongo concerning OPD's fair and honorable conduct in the race, "Even better, you didn't threaten anyone with guns!"
A true statement by bongo himself! Indeed, OPD never threatened anyone with guns during the ENTIRE campaign! Indeed, he threatened no-one with any weapon of ANY KIND!
This free and fair election proves that the Iraqi Government is both fully democratic AND that OPD is indeed the chosen of the ENTIRE people, not just some miniscule portion of the people as in other civilizations!
Given the enormous success of this first election, the reaction of President OPD was:
Originally posted by His Royal Highness, Supreme Overlord, Evil Dictator, Crusher of Souls, King of the Desert, Most Handsome and Intelligent OPD
100% thats equal to Saddam right?
I can see alot of medals being awarded over this.
100% thats equal to Saddam right?
I can see alot of medals being awarded over this.
After his confirmation as the Supreme Leader of the Iraqi Government, OPD named several other members of the MAST to positions within his cabinet. Together, they shall plan how the Iraqi Government and its people will cause their enemies to caugh up obscene amounts of blood and suffer from acute abdominal pain!
Now, I am read for your questions!
Yes, you.
Reporter: Sir, how many people voted?
Mr. Al-Sahaf: All the people! All the people who had it in their hearts to vote for OPD because they loved OPD then... voted for OPD!!! Which happened to be... EVERYONE!
Now, you over there, what is it?
Reporter: Sir, what other candidates were on the ballot?
Mr. Al-Sahaf: Other candidates?! I already TOLD YOU! OPD simply announced that he was running and begun a referendum on his leadership. The matter was settled when EVERYONE voted in favor! What point would there be to someone else announcing their candidacy when the current candidate has 100% of the vote?
You.
Reporter: Was there an arrangement ahead of time to ensure that Mr. OPD received 100% of the vote?
Mr. Al-Sahaf: So you're asking whether the vote was rigged? IT WAS NOT RIGGED! REALLY! OPD HONESTLY GOT EVERY SINGLE VOTE CAST! There was NO arrangement ahead of time, OPD had not even informed but one other person he was running and then he simply started the referendum! And, as I've already told you, EVERYONE voted for him! Now stop asking me stupid questions! You are asking me these types of questions on behalf of the evil mercenaries who plan to attack us, perhaps? If so, you are worse than CNN and will no longer be safe here!
Now, that will be all for the question segment.
(a bunch of guys in uniforms come into the room carrying clubs - they begin dancing and waving their clubs about over their heads...)
The people for OPD! OPD for the people! The people for OPD! OPD for the people! The people for OPD! OPD for the people! Everyone loves OPD! OPD loves everyone! Everyone loves OPD! OPD loves everyone!
(somewhat distracted reporters file out as the singing and dancing continue)
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