Peasant Riots everywhere in Ankh-Morpork

[ormuzd]

Ankh-Morpork Times

And the truth shall make ye fret


Early Morning Edition


After the recently started riots the entire slumcity of Ankh-Morpork was plundered and burned down by its citizens, who had to close the gates of the dam to let the oozing waters of the river Ankh put out the fires. In this critical situation Captain Vimes had to take control over the masses but noone could find him.

Early yesterday morning Captain Vimes returned with mercenaries hired from distant lands and started...um...to restore order to the rioting city. I'll make the story short because our internal problems are not interesting to anyone outside of Ankh-Morpork.

The dwarves from Treacle Mine Road, you see, didn't like the methods Captain Vimes employed, and after the last meeting of the dwarfs in the local pub, they decided to fight against him. Was it the the dark night, or simply the lack of direction due to the excess quafing after the long hours spent under the earth, but the dwarves attacked the nearby city of Felincity by mistake.

In the morning, when they realized what have they done, the dwarves left the town rather hastily and noone is quite sure where did they went (some suspect they have returned to TMR but noone is sure because the dwarves all look the same from above), the city of Felincity was instated into the shanty towns of Ankh-Morpork. The city was renamed to Tarren Mill, just to annoy the neighbours

Captain Vimes is expected to comment the situation later today.

[bongo]

that's...interesting. No seriously, i want to learn more about Ankh-Morporks internal problems.

I'm not sure if exporting your problems is the way to go though, but hey, it worked for us

[Krill]

Bongo, one of our problems was the sky high prices in the housing market. Our peoples had very little land left with which to live off, and so that probably went to steal some so-so farming land off the babylonians to the south, instead of the wonderful green pastures to the north.

Beats me why our people are so stupid, but that might be a reason why we are still in power...

[snoopy369]

One would hope Corporal Carrot might bring wisdom and justice to the Watch of Ankh-Morpork ... for if they have chosen to throw their lots in with the Blood Oath Horde, I have no doubt that ultimately their faith in their 'allies' will be met with unfaithfulness by the Betrayers.

It is not too late, however, for the Ankh-Morporkians to join the struggle for justice... if Corporal Carrot would simply put a good word in with the Captain, I'm sure all can be made better, and the Dwarves brought back under control of Law. Or at least pointed towards good Dwarven music to take away their loneliness ... I'm sure you know what I mean, Krill.

[Paddy]

Originally posted by Krill
Bongo, one of our problems was the sky high prices in the housing market. our peoples had very little land left with which to live off, and so that probably went to steal some so-so farming land off the babylonians to the south, insteadd of the wonderful green pastures to the north.

Beats me why our people are so stupid, but that might be a reason why we are still in power...

we could it be that your landlords have an understanding on how to win friends and influence people....

[ormuzd]

... Or at least pointed towards good Dwarven music to take away their loneliness ... I'm sure you know what I mean, Krill.

There is no such thing as Dwarven music. Those guys are very noise and loud-mouthed. It becomes even worse when they start drinking. The most musical I have ever heard is the clash of axes over their thick plates and shields.

[Krill]

Dwarven music: Gold, gold, gold, gold...no, wait, that's the chorus, not the intro...Gold, gold, gold, gold...no, that's the second verse...Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold...yeah, thats the intro...

[Paddy]

Originally posted by Krill
Dwarven music: Gold, gold, gold, gold...no, wait, that's the chorus, not the intro...Gold, gold, gold, gold...no, that's the second verse...Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold...yeah, thats the intro...

solid gold

[PLATO]

Originally posted by snoopy369
One would hope Corporal Carrot might bring wisdom and justice to the Watch of Ankh-Morpork ... for if they have chosen to throw their lots in with the Blood Oath Horde, I have no doubt that ultimately their faith in their 'allies' will be met with unfaithfulness by the Betrayers.

I can certainly say that our faith in our allies was met by unfaithfulness by the Betrayers.

Nice to know that you are at least forewarning your allies now that you will betray them.

Once again, your song has that "off key" sound to it.

"Betrayers"= Bards

"Bringers of Justice" = The Blood Oath Horde

[Daddy-O]

Krill,
I take it this means we won't be receiving full payment for those techs?

[Krill]

Eh, while our agreement mentioned two techs, we only got one, and we never signed that treaty as a whole anyway. I'm not disputing that it was a dastardly deed, but as the reaty as a whole was not signed, the treaty never came into affect, hence we owe you nothing. That 30 gold I sent was just to put you at ease and make me seem eager to enter an alliance with you.

[Kloreep]

:shrugs:

I have to admit you may have got us in the legal sense.

That said, there is such a thing as good faith, I can see it was utterly lacking here.

[Krill]

That, I'm not going to dispute.

[Daddy-O]

I was being facetious.

Good faith. I think that's why we quickly sent the tech with our side of the treaty, that you drafted, signed.

Guess it goes to show that if the *hored would not have been so belligerent in our talks, we would have promptly sent that tech right to them.

[Ljube]

Post deleted.