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Long years ago the world of peace and harmony was shocked by the terrible news of the slaughter happening in the west part of the continent. A band of ravaging barbarian killed a lot of innocent people just because... well, because they was able to do it. There was never explained why the Khan gave this order, at least there was not a satisfying explanation.
At the beginning the population of Ankh-Morpork was truly shocked but very soon they returned to their lives because nothing new can keep the interest of our people for more than a few days. After all murders were and still are happening in our city.
But the Patriarch was too concerned with these matters and send some missionaries to contact the Horde's Khan and end this "war". Anyway these missionaries did not ever return. Just some parts of them. The same happened to next diplomats that were sent that way.
One day the Unseen University was completed and it started to educate many people in the arts of the magick. The Patriarch saw immidiately the opportunity and sent a new group of emissaries together with some wizards. They have successfully reached the Horde's territory and started the conversation. Seeing people who understand only the might of axe the wizards decided to show their power. Few of the Khan's finest guards were turned into frogs (although this was never learnt in the Unseen University it should have been an innovation or just, well, failed fireball).
This action of our wizards has drawn Khan's attention for sure and he started to respect us. (I think this a new word for them too but it is only a humble historian's opinion after all). I will not go into any more details. I'll just say that we sent more educated people and taught the Horde of what is writing, fine arts, music and tailoring, how to build houses, what is hygiene and everything else we could. It wasn't an easy process because they still tried everything on taste and it didn't taste good they reched for their axes but all the Horde could be called a civlization now.
At the end of this education our engineers wanted to make a joke and gave plans for a huge statue to be built. The horde, having not a sense of humour thought it was a real idea and started doing it. Our architects have enjoyed watching them bringing stones from everywhere and trying to complete the process. (Well, they did it and made a great party with lots of wine when it was finished. The architects had a meeting with our Patriarch and noone ever saw them again. Probably they were sent in the mines to collect stones or in another diplomatic mission - who knows?).
Anyway, after all these lessons the Horde finally understood the meaning of treaties and we have finally signed a peace treaty. And with all that stones carried forth and back they stopped using their axes so often and needless.
At the beginning the population of Ankh-Morpork was truly shocked but very soon they returned to their lives because nothing new can keep the interest of our people for more than a few days. After all murders were and still are happening in our city.
But the Patriarch was too concerned with these matters and send some missionaries to contact the Horde's Khan and end this "war". Anyway these missionaries did not ever return. Just some parts of them. The same happened to next diplomats that were sent that way.
One day the Unseen University was completed and it started to educate many people in the arts of the magick. The Patriarch saw immidiately the opportunity and sent a new group of emissaries together with some wizards. They have successfully reached the Horde's territory and started the conversation. Seeing people who understand only the might of axe the wizards decided to show their power. Few of the Khan's finest guards were turned into frogs (although this was never learnt in the Unseen University it should have been an innovation or just, well, failed fireball).
This action of our wizards has drawn Khan's attention for sure and he started to respect us. (I think this a new word for them too but it is only a humble historian's opinion after all). I will not go into any more details. I'll just say that we sent more educated people and taught the Horde of what is writing, fine arts, music and tailoring, how to build houses, what is hygiene and everything else we could. It wasn't an easy process because they still tried everything on taste and it didn't taste good they reched for their axes but all the Horde could be called a civlization now.
At the end of this education our engineers wanted to make a joke and gave plans for a huge statue to be built. The horde, having not a sense of humour thought it was a real idea and started doing it. Our architects have enjoyed watching them bringing stones from everywhere and trying to complete the process. (Well, they did it and made a great party with lots of wine when it was finished. The architects had a meeting with our Patriarch and noone ever saw them again. Probably they were sent in the mines to collect stones or in another diplomatic mission - who knows?).
Anyway, after all these lessons the Horde finally understood the meaning of treaties and we have finally signed a peace treaty. And with all that stones carried forth and back they stopped using their axes so often and needless.
)
But errr.....we were at peace until you attacked our Warrior, so logic dictates that it was actually you who "violated peace". I'm really at a loss to understand why you all continue to argue otherwise 
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