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Speaking of the lost Civs....

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  • #16
    Originally posted by History Guy
    Chuang Su had come to me, saying that he'd had a dream in which he saw a people with that name, choking to death on what he took for an oversized banana. I wondered what his dreams meant,

    Here is Xerxes, coming out of his harem...the banana has obviously not become lodged in his throat yet, however..."
    Very good.

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    • #17
      On the diplomatic scale alone building a navy would be worth it
      Former Supreme Military Commander of the Democratic Apolyton States, Term 8
      Former Chairman of Apolyton Labor Party

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      • #18
        [Roleplay]

        MEANWHILE!!...in the Great Palace of Zimbabwe, Shaka Zulu, a big gorilla of a man (as well as a very wise leader) stands around in his psychotic little way, proclaiming that all the world is his, while his followers contemplate the best ways of offing him.

        "Mooky!" shouts Shaka to his General-in-Chief, "Nooky samba toiky schnit noob! Gummy katastrene! Chimichaunga!"

        Roughly translated into Polynesian, you'd understand these words even less (unless you are Polynesian), but in modern Apolytonian, he said, "Mooky, go draw me my bath! I am emperor of the world! Hahahahaha!"

        Despite being totally insane (he had been since his mommy passed away), Shaka did like a good bath. Unfortunately for him, the bath tub had not yet been invented, as poor Mooky informed him.

        "Mooky," said Shaka, "I thought you were a deaf mute!"

        "Then, sir, why did you ask me to draw your bath?"

        "Ummm...never mind." This is further proof of the obvious insanity of Shaka, due in part to the loss of mummy.

        "Sir, I regret that no one on this entire continent has the ability to build a bathtub...not even the Chinese!!"

        "Well...ummm...what must I do to get a bathtub?"

        "Our seers suggest that over the ocean lies a giant...a giant..."

        "What? A giant what?" cried Shaka, shaking his long impi spear (and the poor little barbarian impaled upon it).

        "A GIANT BANANA!! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

        "Control yourself, Mooky! You are breaking into paroxsyms of laughter!!"

        "I'm sorry, sir...but it just strikes me as funny that the seers are telling me that the only people who can build bathtubs seem to live...in a giant banana..."

        "Stranger things have happened, Mooky...like my brother Dingane...now, he acts like a little..."

        "Yes, I know, sir. But apparently this banana is far overseas, and any boat we now send to find it will be crushed by waves..."

        "Damn. I'll have to hold off on that bath for a while then...one day, though...I WILL TAKE A BATH!!! Ahahahahahhahahahaha!"

        And so, for the first time in the history of the Zulu people, the great chief Shaka learned of the existence of Apolytonia.

        [Roleplay]
        Empire growing,
        Pleasures flowing,
        Fortune smiles and so should you.

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        • #19
          Let's have some ships ready to sail to the probable spot of the Lost Civs ..!
          Greatest moments in cat:
          __________________
          "Miaooow..!"

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          • #20
            An audience at Tokugawa's palace

            Meanwhile, back in Japan:

            The Lord Chamberlain bangs a gong and shouts: "Yomiiri Chairman Kaga!" and the famous gourmand Chairman Kaga, a man who has spent his entire fortune experiencing new cuisine rises through the floor on a platform, followed by the Voice of Chairman Kaga.

            Chairman Kaga speaks, and the Voice translates into Japanese: Four years ago I spent my entire fortune on Kitchen Palace, where chefs from all over the world could come I could experience new cuisines. But there are only four cuisines in the world! And I am so sick of Zulu Fusion Cuisine! Every young chef thinks that mixing up Zulu cuisine with anything makes it exotic, but no, it makes it taste terrible. You must find new cuisines!

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            • #21
              Meanwhile, back in India:

              Gandhi stands on his head and murmurs: The mystic numbers of the universe say that there must be 16 civs of varying sizes, some of which are big and yellow, and some of which are small and blue, and some of which grow and some of which shrink. And then there are 8 further civs, two of whom wear turbans, that exist only in the mind of Vishnu the Creator...

              One palace flunky whispers to another: The vegetarian curry went off last night.

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              • #22
                Yomiiri Chairman Kaga bites a yellow bell pepper, and declares that the Squirrel Battle between Yoshison and Yokimora is about to begin ("Ah, squirrels, if my memory serves me, an aged sage from Kyushu once instructed me that in order to preserve the simplistic delicacy of the squirrel, you must...")...but deep in his heart, he yearns for another man to enter Kitchen Stadium, to take down the Iron Chef, and to gain the adulation of everyone everywhere!!

                Iron Chef Chinese looks a little uneasy as he reads Chairman Kaga's mind, as Bodhidharma told him to do...if foreigners come to Kitchen Stadium, he might well be deposed as Iron Chef!! Secretly, he prays that they may never, ever discover Navigation...

                Then Emeril Lagasse comes on...
                Empire growing,
                Pleasures flowing,
                Fortune smiles and so should you.

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                • #23
                  Meanwhile, in the basement of Kitchen Castle (where the platform that brings the food comes from), the Youngest Pulley-Serf has a sudden idea. "Wouldn't it be interesting if people from beyond the seas appeared and gave us a long yellow fruit to put on this platform?" The Eldest Pulley-Serf whacks him with a Chinese cabbage. "You dolt! You fool! You less-than-nothing! Have you been in Chairman Kaga’s private sake stores again? There is no such thing as a long yellow fruit! There are no people beyond the seas!" Senior pulley-guy then looks at the cabbage. "Maybe we can have Squashed Chinese Cabbage à la Dingane Battle tonight."

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by History Guy
                    Iron Chef Chinese looks a little uneasy as he reads Chairman Kaga's mind, as Bodhidharma told him to do...if foreigners come to Kitchen Stadium, he might well be deposed as Iron Chef!!
                    That night the Squirrel Battle gives Chairman Kaga’s Fortune Teller a Dream Vision. She sees Iron Chef Zulu being deposed by a mysterious Iron Chef Fu-ran-tsu, and Iron Chef Indian by a mysterious Iron Chef A-po-li-to-nu. "Must be the squirrel," she thinks. "I always found squirrel too salty."

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                    • #25
                      Do we know which ones are the lost Civs? I mean, via the "Great Books" popups wonder reports and the like?
                      Vini, Vidi, Poluti.

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                      • #26
                        XOR's question brings up a good point...

                        Exactly what were the options chosen when the proto-world "President" began our tribe at the forming of our world?

                        (serious, what options were chosen for world characteristics and such?)
                        Long-time poster on Apolyton and WePlayCiv
                        Consul of Apolyton from the 1st Civ3 Inter-Site Democracy Game (ISDG)
                        7th President of Apolyton in the 1st Civ3 Democracy Game

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