Salve, fellow citizens of the great metropolis of Apolyton, a city unmatched, the home of culture, art, science, philosophy, beauty, knowledge, and civilization in general,
While walking through a hard rain in the agora this morning (and trodding in some animal dung that some idiot had thoughtlessly left lying about), I popped into the local bookstore. Now, on leave from my regiment in Gaul, I'd been serving in the Senate for a while, donning the purple stripe, etc. I was planning on delivering a speech on why Persia should be taken out altogether, when I saw a book on the very subject I was interested in...The History and Culture of the Empire of the Persians, by the historian Narboplassar of Tassargrad. I was flipping through the papyrus when I came across an etching of the great cultural achievements of Xerxes' empire, and after the page devoted to the king's harem, I found a chapter on the pyramids, deemed by many to be a great wonder of civilization.
I thought to myself that, despite Apolyton's greatness (unmatched by all), we had nothing quite so culturally magnificent to boast of...but our own enemies, the cursed Persians have. Now, I considered to myself that, as the French have been crushed (and crushed they were, I was there...I still have fond memories of watching our General riding around with the French general's head on his pike, singing cheerfully), and the Germans have given up before our mighty forces, that Persia was our only enemy, and that we could now bring our full force to bear against them.
Now, what my point is, they have the grandest achievement of mankind in their territory, namely the Pyramids. Now, if we can take enough men down into Persian territory to scatter our foes and take the city where these monuments are built, we will not only improve our empire (the greatest by far on earth), but also our culture, making us truly the greatest of men. Now we could boast of our pyramids, and we could reap the benefits of such high civilization because of them. I suggest that we go after these pyramids and take them from our enemy, and thereafter end the war, our spoils as high as any ever could be. This, truly, would be a fitting end to this war (might I dub it 'The War of the Banana'?), the greatest ever seen. I believe that then we shall gain the highest victory that has ever been achieved, and the rewards of the conquest will be great indeed. Is this, in your humble opinions, a good idea?
Hail Apolytonia!
Gaius Publius History Guy,
Senator, Centurion, Former Historian, and General Pain-in-the-Neck
While walking through a hard rain in the agora this morning (and trodding in some animal dung that some idiot had thoughtlessly left lying about), I popped into the local bookstore. Now, on leave from my regiment in Gaul, I'd been serving in the Senate for a while, donning the purple stripe, etc. I was planning on delivering a speech on why Persia should be taken out altogether, when I saw a book on the very subject I was interested in...The History and Culture of the Empire of the Persians, by the historian Narboplassar of Tassargrad. I was flipping through the papyrus when I came across an etching of the great cultural achievements of Xerxes' empire, and after the page devoted to the king's harem, I found a chapter on the pyramids, deemed by many to be a great wonder of civilization.
I thought to myself that, despite Apolyton's greatness (unmatched by all), we had nothing quite so culturally magnificent to boast of...but our own enemies, the cursed Persians have. Now, I considered to myself that, as the French have been crushed (and crushed they were, I was there...I still have fond memories of watching our General riding around with the French general's head on his pike, singing cheerfully), and the Germans have given up before our mighty forces, that Persia was our only enemy, and that we could now bring our full force to bear against them.
Now, what my point is, they have the grandest achievement of mankind in their territory, namely the Pyramids. Now, if we can take enough men down into Persian territory to scatter our foes and take the city where these monuments are built, we will not only improve our empire (the greatest by far on earth), but also our culture, making us truly the greatest of men. Now we could boast of our pyramids, and we could reap the benefits of such high civilization because of them. I suggest that we go after these pyramids and take them from our enemy, and thereafter end the war, our spoils as high as any ever could be. This, truly, would be a fitting end to this war (might I dub it 'The War of the Banana'?), the greatest ever seen. I believe that then we shall gain the highest victory that has ever been achieved, and the rewards of the conquest will be great indeed. Is this, in your humble opinions, a good idea?
Hail Apolytonia!
Gaius Publius History Guy,
Senator, Centurion, Former Historian, and General Pain-in-the-Neck
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