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Your Light in the Jungle - August 31, 210 BC
French Capitol held breifly
Army suffers first loss
In what some have been calling a disaster, our Arhcers marched upon Rheims. As if fortelling disaster, they were ambushed before reaching the French capitol by a battalion of French Swordsmen. The ambush resulted in the loss of the Spearmen escort before our archers were able to repel the attacking forces and continue on theri march to Rheims. Upon reaching the city, they let out a massive assault. 1000 Archers died at the hands of the enemy Spears, and another 1200 were wounded, with only 200 actually reaching the center of the city to storm the Palace. Once again, they found that the elusive Joan had somehow managed an escape. Worse yet, they soon found that they were not alone as an eemy battalion of Warriors soon jumped upon the remaining Archers and took them by surprise, thus recapturing the city. French citizens told us how she had been warned to flee by a misterious voice, and to lay a trap for the invaders. Rumor or not, Joan is proving to be a far more worthy opponent than Abe ever was.
- UnOrthOdOx
City in Chaos
Martial law declared
Shortly after taking control of Port Rouge, formerly Orleans, the city fell under martial law as a protest march became violent. Citizen's in the town, aparantly upset largly due to the sudden lack of wine, began a protest march on the governor's estates. Soon things escalated into an all out brawl as they found the estate empty, and much confusion as to which regional governer they should petition to for a remedy. "First they leave us with no wine, then they can't even tell us who is in charge?! This is an outrage! What kind of way is this to run a country?" one protesting citizen declared. Martial law was soon declared, and the local spearmen soon dispersed the croud while only inflicting minor injuries.
- UnOrthOdOx
$Mini-Game Financial Collapse!
Chaos on the Market floors
Due to the continuing French conflict dragging on far longer than most Market experts predicted, and the unexpected entrance of the Persian and German governments against Apolytonia, the $Mini-game market collapsed into turmoil during its last trading session.
The Food and Commerce Markets saw prices plummet to the worst level in the history of civilization. There have been many proposals to correct the Market and institute safeguards to prevent this from happening but the Landowners who make up the source for the market refuse to come to a consensus on what needs to be done.
Many Landowners simply want to continue with the degenerated system while others want to go to a true Demand/Supply driven market. Still others think that food is "the Devil" and only the unrighteous should eat. Fortunately the last group is no longer among us, having starved out of existence shortly after.
No sign as to whether or not the Market will ever resume. Suggestions that several new markets be added to the system caused the Market Banker to threaten a walk out.
- GhegisFarb
New alliance formed
Greece signs deal with Germany
In a surprising turn of events, our embassy in Greece sends word that Alexander has signed an alliance with Bismark, agreeing to the destruction of the Aztec empire. "Figures. That Bismark is insane I tell you. First he signs on with Joan, now he goes and devides his forces in a two front war? What is he thinking?" Aggie commented during his much needed rest from the French front. The deal, while one can only speculate as to Otto's reasoning, should prove usefull to our Greek friends. "Well, we had to do something. You saw that Elizabeth went and bought off the Aztec's. This was the only way we had of evening the score, and hopefully letting us focus on our original objectives." Said Alexander in a released statement.
- UnOrthOdOx
Frenchmen Flee Here It Is as Food Shortages Ensue
Many Disturbed by the New City Name
What once was a beautiful blossoming city with roads burgeoning with commercial activity, Paris recently renamed Here It Is, has become a pathetic, shell of its former self. The roads are still loaded with activity, but it is the activity of a population on the run. Former citizens of the defeated French Empire have loaded carts, horses, donkeys, cats and anything they possibly can, with their belongings and are fleeing the city, crossing the Great Rift to the new French Capitol of Avignon.
What has caused this mass emigration? Mr. Shiber, consultant for Ile de Rose Provincial Viceroy, jdjdjd, has stated the Frenchmen's morale was broken by the devistating defeat of the French Army, as well as the rapid evacuation by French Leader, Jeanne d'Arc, at the earliest signs of trouble. They have been dramatically hurt by her hasty retreat, which some have blatantly termed as cowardice.
Shiber added that many have been insulted by the change of the name of this once grand city at the foot of the Great Rift, from Paris to Here It Is. Still others have been confused as to exactly what it is that is here. These same persons are still having problems understanding where exactly President MrWhereItsAt, is at and what it is that is at there; but, for the most part, they are just accepting it as the peculiarities of the Apolytonian culture, bogged down by old Abbott and Costello movies(whatever they are).
The exodus of many of the citizens here, has lead to food shortages, and long lines to obtain supplies of the simplest kind for those remaining have ensued. Further complicating the situation here, has been a group referred to simply as the French Resistance, who have reaked havoc on attempts by Viceroy jdjdjd's staff to instill some order and sense of normalcy. Reports of attempted assassinations on taxmen and other governmental officials, as well as vandalism, looting, name calling, pulling hair, sticking out tongues, kicking dogs, stealing candy from babies and other offenses; have been linked to the Resistance. While a contingent of the Apolytonian Army and civilian officials of the City and Province have prevented any widespread rioting or civil disorder and quelled most of the Resistance; shouts of "Vive L'Resistance, blaaaaah!", can still be heard in some quarters.
Viceroy jdjdjd, stated in a public address last night, on the steps of Tete de Jeanne Palace that the Resistance had been shattered and that food shortages would end, as farms North of the city would be reopening and supplying the city with such necessities as corn, wheat, avacadoes, prunes, cucumbers, grapes, plantains, rat milk, monkey feces, and asparagus in the coming days. Furthermore, he announced that Deputy Minister of the Economy Spiffor had decreed an increase in the distribution of luxuries to all those who pledge allegiance to Apolytonia as citizens, whether of Apolytonian, American, Monkey or French decent. Finally, the Viceroy announced the plans to create a Temple to the Banana in the center of the city, where all can go to worship the Banana, in their own unique way. These announcements were met with tempered excitement and enthusiasm, and many were heard happily discussing dipping rods of asparagus in their cups of rat milk laced with pig feces, a favorite in this region.
While Here It Is seems to have survived the switch from French to Apolytonian control and mood here is currently one of contentment, there is much concern amongst the Viceroy's staff that things could become worse should the war linger against the French. However, given recent successes at Marseilles and Orleans, it is expected that the war will end in the near future, which will bode well with the remaining citizens here, in Here It Is, and help this city move forward and recapture its lost granduer.
- jdjdjd
Joan escapes again
conspiracy or divine intervention?
Upon the escape from Rheims, our sword armymarched upon yet another new capitol. Marseille. Once again we were met with an empty Palace, long since vacated. And, once again we were faced with French citizens telling us that some devine force had told Joan to flee or fear our wrath. "I find it much more likely that some among the army may be under her 'influence'" Uber claimed "Besides we all know that Banana is with us. Or perhaps she is as crazy as that fellow running his mouth off abou this 'ONE' garbage. That would explain her obsession with Phoenatica, despite our loss of contact with them." Whether devine ifluence, or through feminine wiles, it is obvious that Joan will not be easily caught. As she appears to be able to predict our every move.
- UOrthOdOx
Reddawg continues his satistical analysis
Apolytonia grows by 32%
*Demographic highlights:
-Apolytonia's approval rating is declining due to increasingly less popular wars and the ARE radicals, falling from the high of 67% and first in the world to 62% and 3rd in the world.
-Apolytonia's most impressive demographic is it's continual growth in terms f land area. It has climbed 26.8% to 27,000 square miles, and is now the 3rd largest in the world.
-The disease, although still the worst in the world, has fallen 4% to 41%.
-The most alarming trend is the drop in average military service to 12 from 15 years. This trend must be curbed in the sake of national security.
Current Regional Comparisons:
•Mingapulco Province(currently Apolyton, Termina, Tassagard, Banana HQ, Port Rouge):
394,000; 8.1% foreign; 62.0% of national population (a miniscule decrease since last term). 21 Lytons income; 22 shields output; 2 science output (a decrease!).
•Principality of Piña Colada (currently Timeline, Gaia, Del Monte, Chiquita):
94,000; 46.8% foreign (a fair drop); 14.8% of national population. 8 Lytons income; 4 shields output; 0 science output.
•El Niño Province (currently Loveshack, Seeberg, Ubergorsk, Geofront, Napoleton):
125,000; 0% foreign; 19.7% of national population (a semi-drop). 8 Lytons income; 5 shields output (a significant drop); 0 science output.
•Île de Rose (currently Here It Is, Marseilles):
22,000; 100% foreign; 3.5% of national population. 2 Lytons income; 2 shields outpout; 0 science output.
A full analysis is located here.
- UnOrthOdOx
Gazette to honor citizens
Nominations are now being accepted
We are announcng th formation of a new award for the Citizens. These will be held on a Regular basis, (still decidn how often) and are for citizens who contribute above and beyond the call of duty.
Goverment officials are not eligable. This is for Citizens only.
Make your nominations here
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