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As I, Gaius Publius History Guy, late historian of the Apolytonian government, walked through the streets of Apolyton City two days ago, I saw smoke arising from the Senate building itself. I was horrified, and dropping my books and my pen, I ran on in the direction of the unfolding rebellion, though at the time, I was quite unsure as to what it all was.
As I turned the bend of the old Imperial Street (dedicated to King Ming the Troll-Smiter himself), I saw before my eyes a huge, angry mob, armed to the teeth, and led by men such as our great General Uberkrux and Mr. Where Its At. The smoke, I noticed, came from the huge torches that many of the men carried in their hands. Uberkrux, obviously the man in command of the whole scene, was swinging his famed sword 'Lincoln-Stinger' in the air, reminding the people of the follies of our President Ninot and his Vice-President, and shouting to us the glories of our former president, the saintly Trip.
I stood back, at first, shocked by the scene before me, thou I quickly recovered my wits. I knew myself that Uberkrux was right, the current administration was the wrong one, and it was sinking into despotism and decadence. I quickly abandoned my post as historian (for reasons of lack of time), and unsheathed my dagger, as I had done at Washington some time before. I then myself joined Uberkrux's band of men in front of the Senate building itself. Every thousand of us stood there, in the rain, chanting for the overthrow of the government. Nothing happened.
Senate officials and staff gradually poured down the steps to get out of the way, wondering what on earth to do, a few of the braver ones joining our huge party, our band of brothers. And now, on this St. Crispin's Day, Uberkrux led us on to another victory, to overthrow this wrongheaded government, and replace it with one better qualified, one that would dole out liberty and banana for all. It was then, with the chanting reaching a crescendo, that Mr. Where Its At whispered in the ear of the general, and he waved his sword, shouting, "Onward, men, onward! We shall today be given either liberty or death!"
The mob surged forth, like the tide upon the sea-shore, running up the venerable steps of the venerable building inside, rushing in masses through the huge doors, and into the giant hallway beyond, throwing aside all who opposed us. I myself took down a heavy security guard with a punch to the jaw, before realizing that he was my brother-in-law. After realizing this, I punched him again and tossed him over a desk.
Uberkrux fought as the best of us, going berserk in this moment of glory, flooring every guard before us with a swing of his gloried sword. We were soaked with glory that day.
"You, sir," he said, pointing to the President, who stood by the big windows, "have brought misery to the land. Now, I declare your rule anathema, sir. It is finished." Ninot hung his head in despair, giving in, for he was, in a way, a noble soul. The Vice President was also, but he didn't give in so easily. He himself wrestled Uberkrux over a table, trying to bring down a large Greek vase atop his skull, but Uberkrux took him down with a strike of his fist. As the Vice President reeled, the vase came down upon his head, rendering him senseless. The rebellion was, in under ten minutes, over. The army was faithful to Uberkrux, not for one minute intervening in the matter.
Now, men, we stand here, ready to rebuild this tarnished land, ready to restore it to a truly well-run empire and civilization. You must all vote for the man we truly need as President of our civilization, only you can ensure our survival as a nation. Vote well, we hold our future in our hands. God bless Apolytonia.
As I turned the bend of the old Imperial Street (dedicated to King Ming the Troll-Smiter himself), I saw before my eyes a huge, angry mob, armed to the teeth, and led by men such as our great General Uberkrux and Mr. Where Its At. The smoke, I noticed, came from the huge torches that many of the men carried in their hands. Uberkrux, obviously the man in command of the whole scene, was swinging his famed sword 'Lincoln-Stinger' in the air, reminding the people of the follies of our President Ninot and his Vice-President, and shouting to us the glories of our former president, the saintly Trip.
I stood back, at first, shocked by the scene before me, thou I quickly recovered my wits. I knew myself that Uberkrux was right, the current administration was the wrong one, and it was sinking into despotism and decadence. I quickly abandoned my post as historian (for reasons of lack of time), and unsheathed my dagger, as I had done at Washington some time before. I then myself joined Uberkrux's band of men in front of the Senate building itself. Every thousand of us stood there, in the rain, chanting for the overthrow of the government. Nothing happened.
Senate officials and staff gradually poured down the steps to get out of the way, wondering what on earth to do, a few of the braver ones joining our huge party, our band of brothers. And now, on this St. Crispin's Day, Uberkrux led us on to another victory, to overthrow this wrongheaded government, and replace it with one better qualified, one that would dole out liberty and banana for all. It was then, with the chanting reaching a crescendo, that Mr. Where Its At whispered in the ear of the general, and he waved his sword, shouting, "Onward, men, onward! We shall today be given either liberty or death!"
The mob surged forth, like the tide upon the sea-shore, running up the venerable steps of the venerable building inside, rushing in masses through the huge doors, and into the giant hallway beyond, throwing aside all who opposed us. I myself took down a heavy security guard with a punch to the jaw, before realizing that he was my brother-in-law. After realizing this, I punched him again and tossed him over a desk.
Uberkrux fought as the best of us, going berserk in this moment of glory, flooring every guard before us with a swing of his gloried sword. We were soaked with glory that day.
"You, sir," he said, pointing to the President, who stood by the big windows, "have brought misery to the land. Now, I declare your rule anathema, sir. It is finished." Ninot hung his head in despair, giving in, for he was, in a way, a noble soul. The Vice President was also, but he didn't give in so easily. He himself wrestled Uberkrux over a table, trying to bring down a large Greek vase atop his skull, but Uberkrux took him down with a strike of his fist. As the Vice President reeled, the vase came down upon his head, rendering him senseless. The rebellion was, in under ten minutes, over. The army was faithful to Uberkrux, not for one minute intervening in the matter.
Now, men, we stand here, ready to rebuild this tarnished land, ready to restore it to a truly well-run empire and civilization. You must all vote for the man we truly need as President of our civilization, only you can ensure our survival as a nation. Vote well, we hold our future in our hands. God bless Apolytonia.
two revolutions? 
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