The Jungle Gazette
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Your light in the Jungle - July 13, 1725
Election Fever Strikes Termina
Polls overrun with voters
As the sun set on the first day of the election, many prospective voters expressed their anger at the disorganized polling booths. One woman, wanting to remain annonymous went so far as to say "Not only did I spend 5 hours waiting in line, I couldn't even find all the positions on the ballot!" Fearing a scandall, polls in Termina were closed early, turning away hundreds. We have been reassured that the polls will reopen today after some thought was put into redesigning the ballot, they were most pleased to send us this example:
ELECT YOUR CITY PLANNER HERE
ELECT YOUR PUBLIC WORKS MINISTER HERE
ELECT YOUR HISTORIAN HERE
ELECT YOUR VICE PRESIDENT HERE
ELECT YOUR MINISTER OF SCIENCE HERE
ELECT YOUR PRESIDENT HERE
ELECT YOUR FORIEGN AFFAIRS MINISTER HERE
ELECT YOUR MILITARY MINISTER HERE
ELECT YOUR MINISTER OF IMPERIAL EXPANSION HERE
ELECT YOUR MINISTER OF ECONOMY HERE
- UnOrthOdOx
More people's discovered!!!
our list of neighbors grows
Long have we known that we are not alone, but few would have guessed the multitude of nations that share this land of ours. Through ingenious negotiating, our emmissaries were able to obtain knowledge of the Russians, Babylonians, Aztecs, and Romans from the French. Immediately putting this knowledge to good use, they were able to regain all that was given for such knowledge, and MORE! Let it be known throughout the world, Apolytonians know how to bargain.
- UnOrthOdOx
Major Breakthrough!!!
new technology opens doors
We are pleased to announce that through our relations with Queen Elizabeth, we have discovered a new technology known as 'Writing'. This marvelous invention allows us to take our universal Alphebet and record it onto objects such as clay tablets, or even the pressed leaves you are looking upon now. Our experts believe that this will allow us to communicate even better with our neighboring nations, and allow easier flow of information.
- UnOrthOdOx
Technology gone bad?
disaster strikes Banana HQ
The recent acquisition of the wheel, and horses, has had some terrible consequences. While the war chariot is an impressive piece of modern warfare, in the wrong hands, it can prove to be most dangerous. Late last evening, a group of men organized a chariot race. This consisted of having bystanders stand around to form a circle, which the drivers would then race around several times. However, in the fifth lap of the third race, a wheel apparantly came loose, causing the two chariots to collide and plow through the shocked onlookers. Ten died, and twenty more suffered serious injury. This made some question the safety of using chariots. UberKrux, though, had this to say, "What we had there was a case of untrained citizens attempting to operate a military vehicle. I urge all who wish to drive chariots to come and get the proper training. We can have you fully trained in all our modern technology in only 5 years! After all, our barracks are the only institution around."
Authorities are looking into who smuggeled the horses into Banana HQ, as there is no proper road to bring them.
- UnOrthOdOx
A note from the editor:
Many of you are aware that I am not blazing new trails here. There have been other papers. Common sense, then, begs the question 'Why will this one succeed where others have failed?' The answer, my friends, is that I have access to one thing that they lacked. Writing! That's right! No longer will you be forced to make sense of a bunch of pictographs and hand prints. We here at The Jungle Gazette will use the newly discovered and universal Alphabet. Now that we all have a firm understanding of what symbols actually mean, and can record them, it is our belief that it will lead to a large reader base. We will continue to bring you the latest in technology in the future as well. Thank you for the purchase, and enjoy our first issue.
- UnOrthOdOx founder and chief editor
_____________________________________________
Your light in the Jungle - July 13, 1725
Election Fever Strikes Termina
Polls overrun with voters
As the sun set on the first day of the election, many prospective voters expressed their anger at the disorganized polling booths. One woman, wanting to remain annonymous went so far as to say "Not only did I spend 5 hours waiting in line, I couldn't even find all the positions on the ballot!" Fearing a scandall, polls in Termina were closed early, turning away hundreds. We have been reassured that the polls will reopen today after some thought was put into redesigning the ballot, they were most pleased to send us this example:
ELECT YOUR CITY PLANNER HERE
ELECT YOUR PUBLIC WORKS MINISTER HERE
ELECT YOUR HISTORIAN HERE
ELECT YOUR VICE PRESIDENT HERE
ELECT YOUR MINISTER OF SCIENCE HERE
ELECT YOUR PRESIDENT HERE
ELECT YOUR FORIEGN AFFAIRS MINISTER HERE
ELECT YOUR MILITARY MINISTER HERE
ELECT YOUR MINISTER OF IMPERIAL EXPANSION HERE
ELECT YOUR MINISTER OF ECONOMY HERE
- UnOrthOdOx
More people's discovered!!!
our list of neighbors grows
Long have we known that we are not alone, but few would have guessed the multitude of nations that share this land of ours. Through ingenious negotiating, our emmissaries were able to obtain knowledge of the Russians, Babylonians, Aztecs, and Romans from the French. Immediately putting this knowledge to good use, they were able to regain all that was given for such knowledge, and MORE! Let it be known throughout the world, Apolytonians know how to bargain.
- UnOrthOdOx
Major Breakthrough!!!
new technology opens doors
We are pleased to announce that through our relations with Queen Elizabeth, we have discovered a new technology known as 'Writing'. This marvelous invention allows us to take our universal Alphebet and record it onto objects such as clay tablets, or even the pressed leaves you are looking upon now. Our experts believe that this will allow us to communicate even better with our neighboring nations, and allow easier flow of information.
- UnOrthOdOx
Technology gone bad?
disaster strikes Banana HQ
The recent acquisition of the wheel, and horses, has had some terrible consequences. While the war chariot is an impressive piece of modern warfare, in the wrong hands, it can prove to be most dangerous. Late last evening, a group of men organized a chariot race. This consisted of having bystanders stand around to form a circle, which the drivers would then race around several times. However, in the fifth lap of the third race, a wheel apparantly came loose, causing the two chariots to collide and plow through the shocked onlookers. Ten died, and twenty more suffered serious injury. This made some question the safety of using chariots. UberKrux, though, had this to say, "What we had there was a case of untrained citizens attempting to operate a military vehicle. I urge all who wish to drive chariots to come and get the proper training. We can have you fully trained in all our modern technology in only 5 years! After all, our barracks are the only institution around."
Authorities are looking into who smuggeled the horses into Banana HQ, as there is no proper road to bring them.
- UnOrthOdOx
A note from the editor:
Many of you are aware that I am not blazing new trails here. There have been other papers. Common sense, then, begs the question 'Why will this one succeed where others have failed?' The answer, my friends, is that I have access to one thing that they lacked. Writing! That's right! No longer will you be forced to make sense of a bunch of pictographs and hand prints. We here at The Jungle Gazette will use the newly discovered and universal Alphabet. Now that we all have a firm understanding of what symbols actually mean, and can record them, it is our belief that it will lead to a large reader base. We will continue to bring you the latest in technology in the future as well. Thank you for the purchase, and enjoy our first issue.
- UnOrthOdOx founder and chief editor
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