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A Useless Update
Falling asleep in his tent, a local tribesman Apolo [left] didn’t expect to sleep for 500 years. “Quite frankly when I woke up I thought I’d only slept for a couple of hours” Apolo stated. The world he had fallen asleep in was long gone, the tents he had dwelt in all of his life, were antiquated and people lived in modern wood cabins. The tribal long tent had also been replaced by a small cave in the center of Apolyton. There was also talk of replacing the flint which Apolo had known and loved with a hard rock known as bronze. In his dazed state Apolo heard of travels to the north into the mythical Notylopa jungle in search of more bananas. This development may render Apolos valuable banana earings completely worthless. Apolo has hopes that he can adjust to the new world. We fear however, that the adaptation we be too much for him, as it has proven a strain on those of us who have lived through these rapidly changing times.
STOP, Society To Oppose Politicians is alive and well despite being left out of the current administration. We will not go quietly into the night!! Nor will we succumb to scare tactics and McCarthy-style blacklisting currently being attempted against us. We will stand up for what is right, like "King of Queens" and banana-rum, and oppose what is wrong, like banana-bashing and "That 80's Show". 
As God is our witness, we will never go banana-hungry again!!
Pot Luck Dinner Thursday Night for New Members, 8 PM at the VFW Hall. Please contact jdjdjd if you would like to join.
As God is our witness, we will never go banana-hungry again!!
Pot Luck Dinner Thursday Night for New Members, 8 PM at the VFW Hall. Please contact jdjdjd if you would like to join.
It seems that all though this reporter doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on, the citizens of Apolytonia do. Not content with the myriads of legal polls, decision polls and government advisement discussions; they have decided to create threads where they can forward their agendas; away from the politicking of the official threads. Several of these parties have either contacted or been contacted by the Apolytonian Times. The oldest two parties the Imperialist and AAAC3 have been said to be working on a merger, this reporter is unsure if the merger has happened or if issues persist keeping the two parties separate. The next party to form was STOP, a party which opposes things they disagree with and stands up for what is right. There is a rumor of another party recently forming named simply a major party, whether this was it’s real name or not is unclear since this reporter never bothered to read the thread. Two other parties have also formed a Cultural party and the Hawk Party. There was one other party but it prefers to remain nameless. We expect that another party will form before this paper reaches your door. Of course not all of these parties will survive. It is the opinion of this paper that the parties who get the word out through advertising are the ones most likely to survive.
This editor would like to apologize for the generally uselessness of today’s paper, and for the lack of quality. We however promise an update from one of our reporters concerning more important issues facing our young nation.
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