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May 16, 1700 BC
The Dawn of a new Age!
Asgard Founded
By UnOrthOdOx
It was clear from the moment the meeting began that this would be no normal meeting of the tribes. Many of the leaders soon fell into a heated discussion. There had been widely whispered rumors. Tales of barbarians wandering the wilderness, tales of great nations springing up in the lands surrounding our beautiful valley. It was a disturbing time in the lands of Scandinavia.
Through the chaos one voice finally rang out over the crowd. As all eyes turned to find from where the voice came from, a silence soon hushed over the multitude that had gathered. There a man stood tall upon a tree stump to gaze over the crowd. “My fellow Vikings!!!” he shouted, “it is become apparent that the ways of our ancestors are no longer going to be adequate! We MUST band together, pool our resources, and work collectively as a unit. With our combined might, there is nothing that can stop us from claiming this land as our own.”
This was met with a unanimous response of approval and it was done, some debate sprang up over where exactly would be best to settle. Each of the tribes began to argue over which of their homes would be best suited as the capitol of our new and mighty nation, and it was decided upon that we would need a group of leaders to guide us, that we may sift through the chaos and form a concrete plan to move forward. A call rang out for leadership, for a strong, courageous, and intelligent man to rise above and guide us through these dark days. That man was MrWhereItsAt. To the wide approval of the gathered masses, MrWhereItsAt was soon appointed as our leader, the one who would organize the multitude of tribes into a single collective that would move and grow as one from this point on. Panag offered up some resistance and challenged MrWhereItsAt’s claim to the role of leader, but was unable to garner enough support in order to sway the population at large.
MrWhereItsAt soon decided that he would need council in order for him to run an entire nation, as was now forming, and he decreed there should be positions to help him and he set about to find an assistant. WhiteBandit and GhengisFarb both offered their services to MrWhereItsAt, and both were brought before the people. It did not take long, however, and GhengisFarb was forced to withdraw from the election. Many questioned the circumstances of the move, and some claimed it came from a direct threat from MrWhereItsAt himself. Though no evidence was found, several of the investigators are still missing.
A Supreme Military Commander was needed to guide our glorious armies to victory over anyone who would dare to challenge our authority as the supreme leaders of the land. UberKrux and mrmitchell were chosen from among the populace, widely known for their prowess in battle, they were put before the people. UberKrux soon gained enough support to be named as the first SMC, but there were wide rumors that this was only because of a secret campaign promise that he would offer free mead to those under his command, and those who would offer their support for him.
MrWhereItsAt chose to seek out a Foreign Affairs Minister in order to help him deal with the other nations we would be coming into contact with should the rumors prove to be true. It was widely known that he had little patience for such menial tasks, and it was seen as proof of his wisdom that he would delegate such as need. Kloreep and GeneralTacticus soon launched into a debate on how it would best benefit the nation to deal with these alleged nations, but in the end it was GeneralTacticus that won over the hearts of the people and was appointed to serve as FAM.
Next MrWhereItsAt decreed that there was need for a Minister to oversee the production and welfare of the people and the cities. A Domestic Minister. GodKing, E_T and UnOrthOdOx all stepped up to meet this request, and they were soon too busy praising each others ability to enter into much of a debate. It seemed that each one would almost rather have the others as minister, each promising to help out the other should they be elected. UnOrthOdOx was eventually chosen by the people who had gathered, though most were more interested in making sure he would be able to record down the daily events, an oddity that he had become known for.
With assistants in place, MrWhereItsAt wasted no time in ordering a plan to be laid out. As ordered, it was done, and the decision was made to settle along the river, our home, our nation, our united tribes would harness the power of the land to build a legacy that would stand the test of time. Asgard!
- UnOrthOdOx
The Battle of Iznik
A First-Hand View
By Historik Battleaxe
IZNIK, Tuesday. Historik Battleaxe, a famous berserker from Trondheim and respected member of the walrus hunting community, was present this morning at five o’clock as waves of Viking assault troops swarmed onto the battlefield that surrounded the small Ottoman border town of Iznik, which was ceded along with forty tonnes of gold to Scandinavia this afternoon at the peace conference that was held between Sultan Osman and the deity Odin.
Mr. Battleaxe wrote:
Well, you see, I was actually out hunting some walruses the other day with my trusty war axe Grungnager Trollsmiter. My son, Historik Jr., ran up carrying a very large letter (or rather, piece of leather with some words scribbled on it in crayon) that was from the local lagman.
The Lagman had given me command of a company of warriors, which was in a unit led by my brother-in-law Thag Jacobssen. Thag is a great lad, really. He’s very enthusiastic about what he does. Sharpens his battleaxe daily, provides donuts and mead for the regiment, very good-natured. But he’s also insane. He eats flugsvamp for breakfast, and he thinks he’s a werewolf inhabited by Odin. Luckily, that makes him an excellent berserk.
Anyway, I was given this command and told to march immediately on the Ottoman city of Iznik, which was held by a bunch of spearmen who were all evil madmen. As it is, we were sent to follow a group of troops that was composed of two bands of archers, a spear regiment, and our berserk brigade. We marched up country for several weeks to meet the Ottoman invaders. We’d witnessed the slaughters of Ottoman attackers at Trondheim, and we were prepared to make the Ottomans pay for every inch of Viking soil that they polluted. When we crossed into Iznik, we knew that we would either win or go to Valhalla.
It was just outside Iznik that we saw the town below us. It wasn’t anything really, but was it was the lair of the baddies. If we were to have found Fenris or the Asgard Serpent or Loki down there, I wouldn’t have been surprised, for the evil stench of the Ottomans rose like a vapor from that vile place.
We arrived late in action, after the battle had begun. I could hear the ominous noise of spears being slammed down hard against the shields, and the chanting that arose from our spearmen on the hills. Looking down into the misty plain, I could just make out the fight. The Ottomans were coming on again, resplendent in their baggy clothing. Our spearman hammered down upon their shields, shouting in rhythmic tones “Ut, Ut, Ut…”The day seemed to be going well at this point. Swirling clouds of mist formed around the base of the hill. It was hard to see anything that wasn’t but feet away. Soon, it became clear that we weren’t winning the battle.
Every now and then a bloodied archer would limp back from out of the mist and to the rear. We couldn’t tell what had happened yet, but we knew it wasn’t good. The janissaries were still advancing; we could hear the noises of their phalanx approaching from the town. The second band of archers had apparently been caught in the fog. When the Ottomans broke through, none could escape.
Suddenly, the General rode to us. Clutching many bloody wounds with his hand, he shouted at our commander, who was polishing his battleaxe and working himself up into berserk frenzies. “Up men, and to your posts! Remember today that you are from good old Trondheim! Kill those rotters good! Hahahaha!” He then rode away back to the front, brandishing his axe, and grunting enthusiastically.
At this point, I hurled my battleaxe into the air, and ran forward, before stopping at the crest of the hill to offer the blackguards a good moon. The men all stopped for the same reason. The Ottomans were suddenly very amused, which made me angry. Chanting the Saga of Skrigryll Hairyguy, I roared a thunderous roar that resonated through the valley.
As we advanced, I realized that we were stepping over the field on which the archers had been slaughtered. Blood lay in pools in the trampled down grass. Many of the dead men were ours, their throats cut wide open, their faces frozen in ghastly grimaces. I kissed my small charm of Thor’s hammer, and prepared for Valhalla.
The Ottomans charged forward. I couldn’t see Thag any longer, but I could hear the cutting and the swishing of his axe in the distance. I swung Grungnager into the nearest Turk, smacking his teeth, removing a bit of his head. Then, I whipped it out, and brought it into his companion’s chest.
Dropping them, I looked behind me, and saw my men running forward into the Turks. A Turkish officer suddenly bounded forward on horseback. He said something rather embarrassing in poor Viking. He raised his mace, and I prepared to say “Howdy” to Odin.
But I didn’t. Instead, I chopped the horse’s leg off with a swing of my trusty battleaxe. As the Turk tumbled off, I put the axe into his side. Now on the soggy grass, he looked up at me with hatred, and I looked down and said something nasty, for which I then apologized with my axe. His head popped off in a jiffy, blood shot up like a fountain from where the neck had been. In danger of getting my shirt ruined, I hurried on.
I was amazed at the lack of stamina that the Ottomans had, and after felling about twenty men, I realized that we’d killed everyone except for the last little defensive line in the town. In retrospect, I suppose it was a miraculous victory. Hurling ourselves on the spearmen with only stone axes seems a bit, well, odd, but it worked, for which Odin should probably be praised. I could feel Thor beside me all the way.
A few hours later, the troops in Iznik surrendered the town, and the war was over. The miracle victory of Iznik will always remain as the greatest day in history for Viking men. It was here that our military was born, and it was here that we proved our worth. It was here, truly, that the Vikings were made.
- History Guy
, this is good 
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