Spoliers for AU 401: They came down from the Mountains

[Inverse Icarus]

my first AU game

i chose america, and headed E with the settler. i'm playing deity, accel production. more to come.

[Inverse Icarus]

i managed to get a settler from the second hut (near rome), and herded the roman settler enough to found NY in a good spot, also forcing them to found Veii much later, on the other side of my empire.

the two productive cities pumped out settlers like lightning. and i completely screwed over the romans for territory. techs, thats another story. i've built several temples in hopes of getting some culture flips, as well as keeping me happy. i just started building barracks in my major cities, and the horsemen shall cometh.

[Inverse Icarus]

heres a screenie, look at how split rome is.

[Inverse Icarus]

sacked rome only losing 1 horseman to the defending legions.(several others retreated)

edit: apparently rome was on a hill, with iron. should have noted that as well.

pumping out swordemen now

[Arrian]

apparently rome was on a hill, with iron

Oooh, that's nasty.

-Arrian

[Inverse Icarus]

the combined arms worked, and the random number generator gods were with me. i only lose 2 horsemen, a swordsmen, and a spearmen on the attack. i lost 2 spearmen and a warrior on defense (damn romans bred superarchers to make up for te lack of legionares)

made peace with rome for 4 techs, 30 gold, and a city on another island. im very far behind in techs. i need phil and code of laws to make it to the next era, and the AIs are already building sun tzus.

i'm probably going to start buying techs, despite how much i loathe it.

[Inverse Icarus]

started to buy techs, still very far behind.

india just entered the industrial age, and i'm less than halfway through the mideval

i'm going in to mop up rome now, because they stopped giving me stuff. knights and mideval inf.

then i plan to hit india, if my weapons are remotely useful, because Delhi has 3 wonders and i'd love to have a few

[Inverse Icarus]

i have eradicated Rome from the main continent, but i lost my foothold rome gave me on the other island (i cound't get troops there fast enough, i didnt have galleys on hand).

i again made peace with rome, for 4 more techs and some gold. Rome can have their smaller island.

apparently Germany and the Ottomans are in cahoots, as they both destroyed China. the Germans are goign to be one hell of a fight, and the Ottomans don't look too nice either.

i'm off to dinner, then doing some laundry, etc etc, so i'm done for a few hours i'll be pondering my next move, i'm probably going to go go one of two routes:

1. ally with smaller civs (Carthage / Babylon) against India, allowing the smaller civs to grow a bit, while fostering good relationships.

or

2. ally with India (and maybe the minor civs) against Germany, and put up a large fight in indian territory (ie, dont just use them as a buffer, actually help them ) i could probably get the ottomans to declare war on them too, but that wouldn't be as fun. maybe i can start a world war

[Inverse Icarus]

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[Mountain Sage]

4000BC (for easy understanding)
‘What?’ screamed Joan, ‘You want ME to live in a swamp? I did not come down from that blasted mountain to live with snakes and alligators. Give me a nice hill with plenty of view, fresh air and good fortifications, but a swamp?’ she repeated shuddering.

‘And since you’re at it, no, I will not put my town near elephants. I want to hunt them, not be trampled by them!’

“I should put your head on the block for just thinking of suggesting it to me’ she went on, ‘but I am magnanimous today, you can pick up a shovel and start digging the irrigation you seem to like so much’.

And Joan (please remember to call her Her Graciousness) stormed out of the meeting hut. The demoted domestic advisor (the first in along line) was still not sure if he made a good bargain by not being beheaded but forced to build canals near the river, full of alligators, snakes and other critters.

3300BC (+or – 10%)
‘So’, purred Her Graciousness, looking at his military adviser ‘you spotted a Ronam caravan? Good! Excellent! Take it!’
‘But’ spluttered Vercingetorix, the (then) military adviser, ‘this will mean war with the Romans!’
‘Bah!’ said Her Graciousness, ‘Ronams or Romans, who cares? But since you do not care for my commands, guard captain,’ she shouted ‘take this sissy and it’s his head on the block. Then go and get me some fine Ronam’s wine. Understood?’

The guard captain flew from the meeting hall, poor Vercingetorix in tow. Useless to say, the Romans were not happy.

[Mountain Sage]

975BC, 15 April, 6:45 a.m. (for those who care)
‘My valorous soldiers, as we stand before the very walls of wicked Rome. I give you a choice: either you storm these wall and some of you might live to see tomorrow’s dawn, or it’s your head on the block today. Choose wisely!’

Needless to say, the walls were breached and other heads, Roman ones, went on the block.

[Mountain Sage]

750BC
How the Red Barbarians called themselves, Romans or Ronams, was a moot point, since their second, and last town also fell. Her Graciousness was indeed gracious. Instead of their head on the block, she fed them to the alligators.

[Mountain Sage]

210BC
‘Why in the seven hells should you approach the subject of the Ronams with the Germans and Indians?’, at least she got some names right, thought MS, then he cringed inwardly ‘So I broke some peace treaties? So what? They were just stupid pieces of vellum. And who are you to question me anyway?’ she shouted in fury.

‘Guard captain, take this Asterix to the block and send the envoys here straight away!’

Later on, Her Graciousness told the foreign diplomats ‘The Ronams? Oh yes, they destroyed themselves in a bloody civil war. Of course, we always respected our mutual agreements, but at a certain point there was no valid partners anymore.

The two diplomats looked quizzically at each other, but wisely dropped the matter. This scam was later called ‘The Joan’s Deception’.

[Mountain Sage]

690AD was a very uneventful year. Three Indian cities fell to our brave Knights, and no adviser’s head went on the block. As a gift to the Indian Mogul for the newly signed peace treaty, her Graciousness sent him a brand-new execution block, with attached axe.
On second thoughts, maybe some heads went on some block after all.

[Mountain Sage]

930AD
‘My dear Mountain Sage, would you please be so kind and explain to Your Graciousness what this overgrown building is doing in the middle of our barracks?’
I started to tell her that it was called a Wonder when she interrupted me and shouted ‘A wanderer? Who the hell need a wanderer? And a stone one! You should know by know that the only buildings I want to see are barracks, barracks and barracks. You’d better come with a fast explanation or it’s...’ ‘My head on the block, My Graciousness, I know’ I finished lamely.
‘But you see, this wonder will give you regularly up to 50 gold pieces and that means you will be able to field a bigger army and…’ She raised one gloved hand to stop me.
‘Sssso, gold gives me a bigger army’ she mused ‘I thought it was horses, swords and the like. Ok, do this wanderer, but from now on got those of the other empires, I don’t have time for this nonsense!’
Then she did an amazing thing: she laughed all of a sudden, stood up from her bone throne and started capering on the floor, shouting gleefully ‘O world, beware! Oh world, despair!’
It would have been an amazing sight to see her dancing, if she was not wearing full plate armor.