Announcement

**The Capo** · May 29, 2000, 20:08

The Madrid Gazette
100 bc
1 gold

Imperial Palace, Germany, builds pyramids, says travellers
Travellers in Cordoba reported today that the German City of Imperial City has completed its massive project, known as the pyramids. Named after the mathematical figure, three pyramids were constructed in the city's square this year. One, known as the great pyramid stands hundreds of feet in the air. The purpose of these huge temples is for storage of the German King's family upon passing. There are rumors as to whether or not slave labor was used in its construction, however either way, this is a testimant to the great architechts of Germany.

Eurasia-Africa Pact signed in London!
Word from the east has the Eurasia-Africa pact signed in London late in 175 b.c. The signers of the pact, the Germans, English and Americans are said to be very optimistic about the chances this has for development in those three nations.

War in South East Asia?
Reports from our Japanese friends have a war taking place in South East Asia, according to early reports the war arose in a dispute between the Metalheads (allies of the Japanese) and the English, who contend that while the King was replaced with one of his first cousins, the Metalheads attacked his nation. There is no word yet on what the newly formed Eurasian-Africa pact intends on doing, but the Pan American Alliance has made this statement:
"The atrocities of the English in Asia shall not go unpunished, we will begin aggressions towards all members of the Eurasian-Africa Pact until this fiasco is settled peaceably, if they cannot come to peaceful terms, war will reign in Asia"
-General Hidalgo of Cordoba.

Hernan Cortez finishes map of the world
Renowned Spanish explorer Hernan Cortez has finished his geopolitical map of the world for 100 bc:

**JDI_Falcon** · May 29, 2000, 20:15

The New York Times: May 29th, Year 25 B.C

---WAR!------
In the year 75 B.C. English soldiers, without warning or a formal declaration of war captured the Metalhead city of White Zombie. The American government has formally announced that they will remain allied with English forces but not support either side in the conflict. The English government has yet to take responsibilty for this act of treachory.

The Eurasia-Africa Pact between the people of Germany, England and the United States of America celebrated 150 years only to see it shattered when the English so blatently violated it. The American government has publically stated, "We have addressed the situation, we shall keep our alliance with England but we do not support and condemn her actions. We shall remain neutral in this conflict." The Pan American nations responded by condemning both the English actions and the American reaction to it. The Germans however (the third party in the Eurasia-Africa treaty) have cancelled their alliance with the English and since sided with the Pan American Nations.

[This message has been edited by JDI_Falcon (edited May 29, 2000).]

**OzzyKP** · May 29, 2000, 21:24

Supreme commander of the Metalhead empire, Ozzy the dove-eater, address his citizens at the weekly Metal Concert in the Metalhead capitol of Black Sabbath.

Ozzy, "Yes, yes, the reports are true, our brethern in the colony of White Zombie have been brutally conquered by the English empire"

People in the pit, "No, no, it can't be true"
"Those evil English"
"They must pay!"
"English dogs!"

Ozzy, "Yes, it appears that the English have paid off some Easy-Listening fans to rebel against Mayor Rob Zombie and open the doors of the city to the eager fold of the English dogs. This attack was unprecipitated and unwarned. Metalheads have had nothing but peaceful intentions from the start."

"The English dogs have had designs for our territory from the beginning. They founded the city of Leeds close to our Indochina colony of White Zombie, but yet i had hope we could work out a deal and avoid warfare. They refused to deal and had the audacity to ask that White Zombie be removed from the Indochina pennisula first, despite the fact that it was founded many years prior!"

Pit, "For shame, for shame"

"Thankfully our lucrative alliance with the German and Japanese Empires have done well for us and they have announced that they will aid us in our struggle against English agression. Also the just Iberians have seen fit to declare war on the English due to their unwarranted hostility"

Pit, "Praise them all!"

"Our nation is strong! We shall overcome the English threat. We rule the seas with the power of our blessed Lighthouse shinning brightly from the city of Metallica. Metallica, our crown jewel, is the envy of the world as it is the largest metropolis the world has ever seen."

"Our explorers have visited far off lands, aided by the power of our navy. They have seen great things and have witnessed the power of our allies the Germans and the Japanese. Great minds from all our empires have come together to propel our peoples into a golden age of learning and thought."

"For many a millenia the Metalhead people have been isolated from the world on our small island continent, but have often stood out at the most populous and most learned people in the world. Our scientists are progressing quickly and soon hope to add the insight of philisophical lyrics to our Metal anthems."

"Sleep safe Metalhead citizens, and don't let your ears stop ringing. Good night, i love you all"

The Metalhead's loved leader, Ozzy, leaves the stage.

One more!
One more!
One more!
One more!
One more!
One more!

After 20 minutes of chanting the crowd bursts into applause as their ruler walks back onto stage once more.

Ozzy, "I'd like to introduce you to a few members of my cabinet. Jonathan Davis on Vocals and Foreign Minister."

Yeah!!!!

"James Hetfield as the Minister of Defense"

Yeah!!!!!

"Phil Anselmo is the trade minister"

Yeah!!!!!

"Our department of Science is led by Axl Rose"

Yeah!!!!

"and last but not least, our attitude advisor, Celine Dion"

BOOOOO, NOOOOOO, it can't be!!! Booooo

"HA, HA, just kidding everyone, our attitude advisor is none other than the clown prince of Metal himself, Alice Cooper!"

Horray!! Horray!!!

"Good night all, your leader will bring you updates from the battles soon to rage in SE asia with the evil English empire."

The Metalhead's great leader douses the crowd with some water before walking off stage.

Oz-zy!
oz-zy!
oz-zy!
oz-zy!
oz-zy!
oz-zy!

The people's joyously chant for several more minutes, until finally the lights turn on and the people shuffle back to their homes.

------------------
Metalhead Greater Sayen, and all 'round nice guy
[This message has been edited by OzzyKP (edited May 29, 2000).]

**OzzyKP** · May 29, 2000, 21:52

btw, a key for the map.

Purple- OzzyKP- Metalheads
Green- Moker- Japanese
Yellow- The Capo- Iberians/Spanish
Light Blue- JDI_Falcon- Americans
Dark Blue- The Nothing- Germans
Orange- Common Terry- English
Kinda light purple- AI- Russians

We are continuing on Wednesday May 31 at 7pm EST. And for anyone interested the Russians are up for grabs, and are still very much in the game.

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Metalhead Greater Sayen, and all 'round nice guy
[This message has been edited by OzzyKP (edited May 29, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by OzzyKP (edited May 29, 2000).]

**Lor Ty** · May 29, 2000, 22:17

I am interested in playing as the Russians. How long will we be playing for on Wednesday?

**OzzyKP** · May 29, 2000, 22:20

as long as everyone can stay

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Metalhead Greater Sayen, and all 'round nice guy

**The Capo** · May 29, 2000, 22:26

A rally outside of the city of Barcelona....

King Lorenzo: "People of the Iberian Federation, people of Spain. Today I christen this warship 'La Amistad', which is headed for English China. On it, will be a brave crew, and a mighty force of Spaniards, the bravest soldiers the world has ever seen. However, there is great worry from our people, and they have every reason. You see, we have no relations with the Metalheads, we know not of their culture, they way of life. Their ways. However, we are loyal and trustworthy allies, if the Japanese feel the need to fight the English dogs, so shall Spain. The Pan-American Alliance is strong as a pillar, and steadfast as the stars. La Amistad will brave the treacherous Pacific, in search of glory and gold. The Eurasian-Africa Pact is weak, it is as strong as the paper it was signed upon. It is a house in shambles, the Germans have made great leaps, they have made a great decision. They realize that their allies are not that, that their agreement is nothing but words. Spain shall be victorious, for god is on our side!"

Crowd: Viva Espania!

Lorenzo: "Please please, people of Iberia, people of the grand Federated States of Spain. When we fight, we shall represent the stone of Castille, we shall represent the Lion of Leon, we shall represent the greatness of Valladolid, our banner shall be one of glory and honor. Brave soldiers, when you fight the English dogs, when you land on English turf, when their heathenistic smell overcomes you. You shall represent the greatness that is Spain, you shall show your allies that you are true to this great nation, now then, General Hidlago of Cordoba has some words."

Gen. Hidlago: "Tis a proud day, the Spanish are a proud people. We shall set sail for England today, no doubt you are scared. You have every right to be scared, you will be removed from your homeland, you will be in a foreign land, fighting a foreign threat. Do not underestimate the English, they are too a very proud people. They are not Barbarians of the north that we are used to fighting, they are a well oiled machine, you may have friends in the Metalheads, but don't count on them either. You are of Iberia, you shall defend Spain. Be strong, do not give up, you shall be victorious."

Crowd: Viva Espania!

~50 bc~

**Lor Ty** · May 29, 2000, 23:02

"Glorious people of Russia, our ruler has left us. In his place comes a stronger, smarter, more strategic man. His name is Ty."

People: "Yay!"

Ty: "Hello, my people. I am so proud to be taking over for our glorious nation. I feel that I can bring back our nation as a dominant nation after our old ruler left us. We shall become a nation to be reckoned with, and I promise you that! Let us be known!"

People: "Ty! Ty! Ty!"

Ty: "Thank you, my fine people. I will do all that I can to make us a great nation, and to make your lives better. I promise that to you all."

People: "Ty! Ty! Ty!"

**OzzyKP** · May 30, 2000, 17:38

Formal report of the White Zombie Rebellion:

I am writing this report from System of a Down, which is where, with heavy heart, i was forced to flee to after the forceful takeover of my city, White Zombie. During my tenure as Mayor of White Zombie i was sure to attend to the needs of all citizens of that fair town despite thier choosen musical preference. I had believed that those citizens who preferred easy listening to Metal were content.

After many years of peace in the region, recently English troops moved into the area surrounding and adjacent to White Zombie. I welcomed their envoy and we discussed possible treaties. This rude man had the audacity to demand we provide him with technological secrets in exchange for an alliance. Do to the hostility of the English in the past and due to their present hostility, I declined their offer for an alliance. The english diplomat then again demanded we provide them with the secret metalhead knowledge of Literacy in return for a peace treaty. We declined and informed him that the metalhead kingdom has no desire to cower before others and submit to their threats. The pompus English have the false assumption that they are somehow More Human Than Human, and deserve special consideration. In the interests of peace I offered a tributeless peace treaty which they declined.

I set about to notify the rest of the world of English hostility in SE asia, but due to slow communications at the time it was too late.

All things seemed black on that fateful night, even the Blood, Milk and Sky seemed somehow sinister. The Sunshine was truly Black that day.

Late at night on Tuesday March 27, 75 bc the English forces Returned their Phantom Stranger, this time under less friendly pretenses. From the reports i've obtained it seems that the diplomat met with known dissident, Kenny G, and paid Mr. G a tidy sum of money to recruit from other dissidents living in White Zombie and to take over the city. Mr. G did just that, and surprized my guards slaugtering many and replacing them with his own. Mr. G then opened the city doors and allowed the English dogs to occupy the city.

I have received reports that the Metalhead ethnic majority are being tortured and indiscriminatly executed under the new reign of Lord Kenny G.

Things as common as urinating on stage and setting musical equipment on fire are being deemed crimes under the iron fist of Kenny G.

I will provide more details as they become available.

I recommend swift military action to liberate our opressed people of White Zombie.

Respectfully submited by Rob Zombie Mayor of White Zombie.

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Metalhead Greater Sayen, and all 'round nice guy
[This message has been edited by OzzyKP (edited May 30, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by OzzyKP (edited May 30, 2000).]

**TheNothing** · May 30, 2000, 17:55

I am TheNothing, the powerful Ruler of the Germans. Through out the ages, my people have lived in peice, spreading through out the lands. The First of my friendly counterparts i met, was the Great leader of the Americans. We made piece, and our two happy civillizations grew together happily. Soon Enough English emisarries were met, with German horesman, riding to explore for treasures to send back home to the mother land. We made and alliance, more so on pretense to benifit our two supremely powerful Nations. English Automaticly grew hostile, and uncooprative. As the centuries drew on, my people gloriously celabrated my soveriegn Reign by granting me two wonderful wonders. The Pyramids built in Imperial City, and The Hanging Gardens In TheNothing, Home of my birth.
All was well, world happy, and then a treachorous act of horrific violance took place. My ally, greedily, went in, and offered the people of White Zombie, a colony of The Metalheads, also an Ally, and Greedily, Paid the gaurds to open the golden gates to the Colony. Thus letting English Troops march in. Such an act, has been deemed horrific. Currently, Many world opinion has forced me to announce that upon The Keeping of White Zombie, My German People Shall Declare war upon the English. And so it will then Begin, The greatest nations in the world, The Nothing and his people, and Common, and His English Followers, shall be plunged into the biggest war, of our deer planet. Because of an act of Violance. I wish to avoid such a conflict. All that must occur, is the returnal of my allies Great city, to its rightful Owner.
Prowd Leader, of the German Nation and its Soveriegn People,
TheNothing.

**OzzyKP** · May 30, 2000, 18:17

Sir Ozzy,

I'm afraid that things are worse than initially estimated. White Zombie, being the northern-most extent of the Metalhead kingdom, has served as supply base for many troops and colonists abroad. And with these essential supply routes cut off, our troops have been cut off and have perished out in the wilds of Europe and Africa and Wherever else these troops May have Roamed.

Our losses amount to a troop of archers, a chariot unit, and a band of settlers graciously given to the Metalhead empire by the benevolent leader of the Germans. These losses as well as the loss of our ship docked in White Zombie harbor make this a harmful attack.

We will counter-attack with ferocity, and make the English realize that the Metalhead people will not be pushed around.

-James Hetfield
Minister of Defense

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Metalhead Greater Sayen, and all 'round nice guy

**Lor Ty** · May 30, 2000, 19:57

I would only be able to play for an hour on Wednesday, so if we could start an hour or a half hour earlier or something, that would be better.

**OzzyKP** · May 30, 2000, 20:06

Lor, talk to me on ICQ, my number is 47270249

And i'm ok with starting it early if everyone else is. I think someone did have a problem with it starting before 7 est though, and i don't think everyone checks back here regularly. But if we can get a consensus before then, it would be great to start a bit early.

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Metalhead Greater Sayen, and all 'round nice guy

**The Capo** · May 31, 2000, 11:52

Toledo Times
2 Gold

============
Business News
============
Real Madrid builds Marketplace!
Real Madrid, the capital of the Iberian Federation has finally completed construction of its "Bazaar Plaza" market place. Fielding goods from all over the world (primarily Japan) the Bazaar looks to open trade and monetary funds to the empire. Trade Advisor Dominic Morena said "This new marketplace should create more cash flow for the Federation, and thus result in better lifestyles for all Spanish, as well as its allies in Japan." Shopkeeps are said to be very optimistic, citizens and Toledo and Lisbon are pushing for similar markets in their respective town squares.

Spanish Tax surplus on the rise!
With the growth of Lisbon, Cordoba and Real Madrid, the Spanish Tax surplus has shown a 200% increase. Some experts believe this was due to the construction of "Bazaar Plaza" in Real Madrid, but others give the credit to population boosts in these three Spanish cities. Market experts believe that Valladolid will add to the growth of the Spanish coffers, as the city has already grown within twenty years of its construction. Adding to the Federation's income should be a trade road being built between Lisbon and Real Madrid, which should produce more citizens and new families moving into these areas.

===========
Domestic News
============

Saragossa Founded
As Spanish soldiers march into Canada, new territory consisting of mainly forests and ice have been discovered, and a new city of Saragossa has been founded in this northern land. While the surrounding area is very cold and desolate, Saragossa was founded near a rich Lake, which will be henceforth known as Lake Saragossa. The city was built in a clearing of forest near the lake, and will serve as a northern capital of the territory of Canada.

Brave Warriors survive Barbarian Onslaught
A band of brave Warriors on an expidition into the northern Canadian territory confronted a large hoard of Barbarian horsemen. Feeling they would be defeated, and Warriors fortified their position and thankfully fended off all eight garrisons of the Barbarian forces, barley making it back to Saragossa alive to revitalize themselves. The Saragossans celebrated with a feast in their honor. Soldier Guadalupe Diaz had this to say "They surrounded us on the river bed, we were forced to stick out our spears in defense, luckily we fended them off, a great deal of us died that day, I was very close to a few of them, and I am very thankful to god that I made it back to Saragossa alive."

============
International Report
============

Eurasia-Africa Pact finished?
Early reports from overseas say that the Eurasia-Africa Pact has been killed in its infancy. The result of the English invasion of White Zombie was the crumbling of the very strong Eurasia-Africa Pact. As English forces marched into White Zombie, German and Metalhead emmissaries were in talks discussion actions against the English forces in Indochina. After the announcement of a German-Metalhead alliance, the Americans quickly backed down from their agreement with both Germany and England, and chose a position of neutrality in the conflict. Which begs critics to agree that the Eurasia-Africa Pact has been terminated due to the conflict in Indochina.

PAA to aide Metalhead forces in Asia?
Reports from Real Madrid today concluded that the house of lords agreed to send Spanish troops into Asia as a means of resolving the situation with the English and Metalheads. Don Pablo Diego of Valladolid disagreed with the decision calling it "A misinformed decision to help a nation we know nothing about." However, Don Francisco Pizzaro, who consequently will be leading the forces into Asia had a differant opinion "We have signed an alliance with Japan, they are helping the Metalheads, therefore we shall help Japan fight, we do not wish for our relationship with our Japanese brothers to go sour." said Pizarro.
Don Diego fired back saying "We are not in a position to invade a country, we have many issues here in Iberia, for one we have to settle the great river, and establish our territory over all of North America. We must also set up proper colonies in other areas for trade, we cannot concern ourselves with some Asian scuffle!" Despite the concerns of Don Diego, Iberian troops are setting sail from Barcelona for an invasian of Asia.

============
Editorial
============

Why are we fighting in Asia?
Pepe Montoya

I don't get it? Do you? Why should we send brave Iberian men to fight for a country we know nothing about? Sure we have thier maps. Sure we know of their dedication to thier music, and sure we know they were greatly wronged. But other than that, what does Iberia have to gain? We will definantly lose men over this struggle. The only thing I can see Iberia getting out of any intrusion in this conflict is land. But we have plently land that has yet to be settled here in North America, and while the PAA agreement clearly outlines all of North America for Iberia, I still must disagree with ignoring quick settlement. The house of lords has dropped the ball on this situation, we have a lot of reforms to make, and charging Iberian men into battle over some city in Indochina is not a good one. There are plenty of fertile lands here in North America that would not cost Iberian lives in the process. Leave Asian battles to the Asians. We should not fight in Asia!

Rumors in the house of Lords!
Maria Ruiz

Straight out of the rumor mill, word has it that Paulo Lorenzo's nephew Phillip II of Hapsburg may be next in line for the Iberian throne in the upcomming session. Rumor also has it that Phillip is not too keen on action against the English. Rumors are abuzz as to the next Iberian settlement in America, some say we will settle the banks of the Missisipi, while others say that the great plains have yet to be completley tamed, this reporter believes that the next best place to settle would be the South East Coastline, we must establish more than two ports in that area if we are to be a worthy Naval force. Rumor from the Lorenzo camp also says that our King Paulo Lorenzo III is heavily considering transformation to a Republic when means come available, the royal house is abuzz with complaints, as the Hapsburg family does not want to lose its foothold over Iberian relations. Does somebody smell a Revolution? I am Maria Ruiz and that is what's going on in the house of Lords.

Announcement

Tales from the Diplomatic Front - VII

Tales from the Diplomatic Front - VII

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