The millionth post

[Mr. President]

I'd wager 9 / 10ths of them were either worthless, or made by AH.

So is that what the "A" in "ACS" really stands for?

[notyoueither]

Now you know, Dan will have to kill you. Sorry.

[Mr. President]

Tell the world my story! I -

BANG! *thud*

[DanQ steps through the smoke]

DanQ: Who wants some?







Seriously, I think we just proved our point about nine-tenths of the forums' posts.

[Rasbelin]

HT,

only God knows what kind of a mess you could cause. You would just probably irritate people and close threads and give all deities a 2 week ban, and... yeap, total mayhem.

[Solver]

Ras, I don't have an idea, alas . Some of the archives are now accessible, others are not, but those do not count towards the post total. Maybe Ming or the owners know when we reached a million.

[Zoid]

Originally posted by notyoueither
I'd wager 9 / 10ths of them were either worthless, or made by AH.

At least if it is in OT... Mind you that at least a majority of posts in Civ3 General/PtW is crap as well. Coracle and jt whining about the suckiness of Firaxis in general and Civ3 in particular...

[Rasbelin]

Solver,

that's fine. I don't expect that a mod can know everything about Poly. Just thought you could have known that.

[Solver]

Heh, of course mods don't know, it's DarkCloud who's supposed to know everything .

[DarkCloud]

Alas. I fall short of thine expectations


Although I do remember that Archives do count towards the Goal (If I remember correctly)
However, over 50000 or so OT posts were destroyed in Mark's cleaning... and taht's a conservative estimate
(I know because I often search the OT for old posts- and suddenly- the threads are gone!!! )

[Solver]

DC - the archives that you can see accessible here are only a small part of them. Many and many archived posts, especially Civ 2, are left in the UBB archives... not available to the majority. Also, some posts got deleted .

[Rasbelin]

DC,

you must be quite curious if you still poke around in those old posts.

[Locutus]

Originally posted by notyoueither
either worthless, or made by AH.

What's the difference?

[DarkCloud]

Also, some posts got deleted

Thousands of OT posts were deleted. I know for a fact taht Mark didn't save them at least until last year... And I don't think he did even after that... Mainly because many famous threads were lost in the elder years 98-99

[Rasbelin]

A bit OT, but I'll go ahead...

DC,

have a look at fjorxc's Encyclopedia Apolytonica. Some of the best posts from 98-00 saved in one place, but some are missing. It's really; amusing...

Here's one...

Subject: Civ FM Radio

Well, this was on the "Shocking News" thread, about how Apolyton proposed a radio station simply days after Sidgames started their's. Read away....

This is a joke, not to be taken seriously.

{Radio script}

Hello! You're listening to the sound of Strategy Gaming! Civ FM!!

Markos -"Hello, and welcome to the show, I'm your host, Markos, and this is my Co-host, Kunal, now.."

Kunal - "uh, Markos, I'M the host, we agreed before, did we not?"

Markos - "OH! Sorry, forgot. Okay, this is your host Kunal, and her..I mean his Co-host, Markos"

Kunal - "Yes, well, anyway, Markos and I will be taking calls in a moment, but first, a word from our sponsors".

{cut to commercial}
"Have you ever felt the need to spend? I mean, when do you really ever use that extra credit card of yours?. Well, now you can actually springclean your bank account with AOL ExpressWeb. There's never been a better time to live on the streets in poverty, folks. And for the small price of your immortal soul, we will throw in a bandwith and hours upgrade!
AOL - because your kids don't really need to go to college."

{cut to studio}
Kunal - ".....I'm telling you Markos, it was MY idea to get sponsorship from AOL!, heck, I don't even know if they HAVE AOL in Greec- Oh! We're on the air!"

Markos - "Yes, as we said before, Kunal and myself will be taking calls, NOW! And I believe we have a caller! Hello, who is this?"

Alexander - "Uh, this is Alexander."

Kunal - "Hey, Alex, where are you calling from?"

"Alexander - "Australia"

Markos -"Well, uh, say hello to the pet Kangaroo, mate"

Alexander- "Well, it's not the pet Kangaroo I'm calling in about, Markos,it's my Horse. Umm, he's been gaining a lot of weight lately, and he's been very antisocial with the rest of the horses."

"Kunal - "Uh, Alexander, this isn't 'Harry's Practice' [Australian TV show about pets]"

Alexander - "Yeah, well, I spied on my horse one day to see what the problem was, and I saw him on the computer, posting on Markos's forums! I'm worried, because it's unnatural!"

Markos - "Well, attraction to Apolyton is VERY natural, and I wouldn't be worried about your horse at all"

Kunal - "Hey! you tell your horse to post on the Sidgames forums, they're so much sexier"

Alexander - "Okay.....uh...thanks guys"

{hangs up}

Markos - "Well, I know for a fact that UBB is Sooo much sexier than your homemade junk, Kunal."

Kunal - "Bull****, Markos, Fusion Board is internet Viagra!"

Markos - "Yeah? Well, at least I don't have to take the stuff in real life!"

Kunal - "Uh...I...think we'll take another call, Hello, you're on the air"

Spink - "Good Morrow my dear chap"

Markos - "uh, hello, who is this?"

Spink - "Well, if it isn't old Markos. Sewart Spink, at your service. I was simply calling your esteemed radio show to mildly protest my recent banni......"{cut off}

Markos - "Uh, there were just some technical, uh.. difficulties there. Stay tuned, we will be back soon after THIS break"

{Commercial break}
"Audentior Seafood restaurant - where the land and Ocean meet. Enjoy some of our fine Wines, while we serve you a exquisite plate of the finest seafood. Current favourites include - Pickled Calamari, and the Giant Squid Family feast."

{back to studio}
Kunal - "I'm telling you Markos! Employing Ming was a bad idea! All his moves are power plays! He's dangerous. I have incriminating evidence against him. I'm telling you, he's a spy from AOE Heaven! Oh ****! We're on the air!"

Markos - "Hehe..heh....YOU HEARD NOTHING!"

Kunal - "Okay, it's back to the phonelines! Who's there?"

Big Brother - "This is Ming."

Markos - "Master! Forgive me! I didn't listen to his lies and misinformation! Please, spare me!"

Ming - "You have failed me long enough, Markos. I will have Apolyton, AOE Heaven will have your pitiful site. There will be no-one to stop us this time!"

{enter DanQ. At this point, Ming suddenly appears in the studio}
DanQ - "I've been waiting for this for long enough Ming, I will avenge my father, you murderer!"

Ming - "Dan....I am your father"

DanQ - "No! It cannot be!!! You cannot be my father! My mother would never have sex with such an evil person!"

Ming - "I wasn't always like this Dan. You see, I impregnated your mother before I joined the IRS. It is too late for me, my son."

Kunal - "Woah, this whole thing is getting ****ed up right here dude"

Ming - "Kunal, there is something you should know. I...am your Grandfather"

Kunal - "What? That would make my father Dan's brother!"

Ming - "Yes....you didn't think Shah was a REAL american family name did you? Geez..."

Markos - "Well, at least I'M not related to you"

Ming - "Well, there's something you should know Markos. I....am your-"

Markos - "No! Don't tell me!"

DanQ - "You know, I've been to some bad family reunions in the past, but this has got to be the most ****ed up one I've ever put up with"

Ming - "Well, I'm afraid you'll all have to die now. I must satisfy my evil urges."

Markos - "NO!! Don't do it!!! Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!"

{enter Dracon, disturbed by the noise}
Dracon - "Hey! What's all this noise abou- OH ****!!"

Ming - "Would you please wait while I kill these three? Wait your turn. Geez"

Dracon - "I can't allow you to do that, Ming"

Ming - "Well, I'll kill you first then."

Dracon - "No you won't you freak!"

Ming - "Hey! Don't talk to your uncle like that!"

Dracon - "You're my Uncle??? That would make me Dan's Cousin,Kunal's second cousin, and Markos's nephew in law!"

Markos - "What the ****??????"

Ming - "We were drunk at the time. Now, I will kill you all!"

DanQ - "Wait a minute! If you are my father, Kunal is my nephew, Dracon is my cousin, and Markos is my Step-Father/Mother, then who is my mother?"

Ming - "Do you REALLY want to know?"

DanQ - "Yes!"

Ming - "The mother of DanQ is........

It's time for a poll! Give me your choice of who would most likely be DanQ's mother, and a reason why. Best one wins!!

[Dauphin]

I never knew Poly was so incestuous. It reads more like a script from Eastenders than the Star Wars^TM parody.