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The extended auto-censor coverage
Sir,
It is with the greatest concern that I must notify you of a troubling development in the autocensorship feature used on your most esteemed forum. Upon scribing my most recent missives I became aware that the word "****", being the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g" was being replaced with an uncouth procession of asterisks.
The basis of my concern is twofold, and may be summarised as below.
1)- "****" (being the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g") and it's derivatives are a vital link in the glorious English language being very mild profanities- mild to the point of not being profane at all. They are intended as a socially acceptable and laudable alternative to coarser expletives such as "****" (being the sequential arrangement of the letters "f", "u", "c" and "k")- expressions intended to be used in everyday use without causing maiden aunts to swoon or small boys to clutch at their private parts in excitement.
To exclude this coarse, yet honest yeoman of a phrase would be to force you loyal subscribers into the perilous moral state of dalliance with coarse obscenities, or to emasculate their vocabularies by forcing them to resort to that most loathsome of utterances, "to make love"- an expression that no true Englishman can use without suffering either severe nausea or lingering embarrassment. Please don't even suggest resorting to juvenilia such as "poke", "pork", "bump uglies", "boff", "roger" or "hump". Americanisms such as "screw" or "make out" will be treated with the curled lip of contempt that they deserve.
2)- The **** (being the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g") is also the name of a common European diving seabird, often confused with the Cormorant. To saddle this noble bird with a forbidden name would be a cruel injustice, and would also cause the gravest of confusion on Apolyton's many threads concerning marine ornithology. It is surely only a matter of time before my own innocent discourses on the nesting habits of the **** will be mistaken for a lewd blaring on the intimate areas of middle European porn stars.
I appeal, sir, to your sense of reason and justice. The English language is rightly famed for the beauty and depth of it's profanities. It is a joy and a pleasure to curse in, and further restrictions would be to rob us of the greatest gift our woad-splattered and malodourous forebears granted us. I urge you to reconsider.
It is with the greatest concern that I must notify you of a troubling development in the autocensorship feature used on your most esteemed forum. Upon scribing my most recent missives I became aware that the word "****", being the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g" was being replaced with an uncouth procession of asterisks.
The basis of my concern is twofold, and may be summarised as below.
1)- "****" (being the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g") and it's derivatives are a vital link in the glorious English language being very mild profanities- mild to the point of not being profane at all. They are intended as a socially acceptable and laudable alternative to coarser expletives such as "****" (being the sequential arrangement of the letters "f", "u", "c" and "k")- expressions intended to be used in everyday use without causing maiden aunts to swoon or small boys to clutch at their private parts in excitement.
To exclude this coarse, yet honest yeoman of a phrase would be to force you loyal subscribers into the perilous moral state of dalliance with coarse obscenities, or to emasculate their vocabularies by forcing them to resort to that most loathsome of utterances, "to make love"- an expression that no true Englishman can use without suffering either severe nausea or lingering embarrassment. Please don't even suggest resorting to juvenilia such as "poke", "pork", "bump uglies", "boff", "roger" or "hump". Americanisms such as "screw" or "make out" will be treated with the curled lip of contempt that they deserve.
2)- The **** (being the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g") is also the name of a common European diving seabird, often confused with the Cormorant. To saddle this noble bird with a forbidden name would be a cruel injustice, and would also cause the gravest of confusion on Apolyton's many threads concerning marine ornithology. It is surely only a matter of time before my own innocent discourses on the nesting habits of the **** will be mistaken for a lewd blaring on the intimate areas of middle European porn stars.
I appeal, sir, to your sense of reason and justice. The English language is rightly famed for the beauty and depth of it's profanities. It is a joy and a pleasure to curse in, and further restrictions would be to rob us of the greatest gift our woad-splattered and malodourous forebears granted us. I urge you to reconsider.
reason to lift the ban on the the sequential arrangement of the letters "s", "h", "a" and "g"
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