New Quotes

[Kumiorava]

<center><table width=80%><tr><td><font color=000080 face="Verdana" size=2><font size="1">quote:
<img src="/images/blue1.gif" width=100% height=1>
</font><font size=1>Originally posted by Urban Ranger on 08-08-2000 03:12 AM</font>
As soon as you think you have created an idiot-proof device, somebody comes up with a better idiot.
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And plenty of proof for that exists: Apple has a tech support line...

That one also gets to go in the sig. Thanks again UR.



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"In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates?" - Anon.

"Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly." - Henry Spencer

As soon as you think you have created an idiot-proof device, somebody comes up with a better idiot.

Thanks to Urban Ranger for supplying those...

[Mao]

Since we're doing this again...

"We will not know the outcomes of our decisions today until tomorrow, and can only guess what would happen if we made different decisions yesterday."

"For those who do not believe, no proof is possible. For those who do believe, no proof is necessary."

[Mao]

I thought the quotes were supposed to be about the world, words of wisdom, not all computers...

[Lazarus and the Gimp]

"I just want the hurting to stop."

Me, last Sunday morning.

[Urban Ranger]

"It is wrong always, everywhere, and for anyone, to believe anything upon insufficient evidence." - W. K. Clifford

[Urban Ranger]

"He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles away from the nearest exit."

[Urban Ranger]

"To lead the people, walk behind them." -- Lao Tzu

[Midshipman]

Looks like there is a lot of interest in new quotes, so I'll put in my two cents.

"Illinois Nazis? I hate Illinois Nazis." -"Joilet" Jake Blues

"They can't stop us. We're on a mission from God." Elton Blues

[connorkimbro]

You can't hug with nuclear arms!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Urban Ranger]

"Wisdom is not by age but by experience." - Anon.

[Urban Ranger]

"When in trouble when in doubt, run in circles scream and shout." Anon.

[reismark]

Here's probably one of the funniest I've heard in recent years. It's from an ACS poster, and it's not The Brain. You might find it in his sig, but anyways, here it is...

"I have the leadership abilities of a small canteloupe." - Stefu

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reismark@nycmail.com | GO ITHACA FLAME!
"How could this be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft?" - Al Gore on the Y2K bug
Vote Gore/Lieberman 2000: Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

[Caesar]

I go around the internet looking for good quotes. I have a list of about 152 right now. But some of them I forgot to right down the person who said it, and well, I want them to get *cough* credit... yeah thats it

Here goes, the ones without names are anonymous.

1. Life is too serious to be taken seriously.

2. It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

Tallulah Bankhead

3. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Isaac Asimov

4. Laws were made to be broken.

Christopher North

5. All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.

6. Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a person of some sense to know how to lie well.

7. Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen

8. Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

Charles Pierce

9. It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

Blues Brothers

10. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain

11. God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.

Robin Williams

12. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Saint Augustine

13. Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

Ernest Hemingway

14. If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

Katherine Hepburn

15. If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.

Haythum R. Khalid

16. It is much more comforable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

G. B. Burgin

17. It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Gore Vidal

18. Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

William Safire

19. It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

Jerome K. Jerome

20. It's great to be young and insane.

Michael Keaton

21. Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame-thrower.

Bruce Feirstein

22. My good intentions are completely lethal.

Margaret Atwood

23. Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did.

James Baldwin

24. Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Mathew Browne

25. Son, where did you go to school? If I were you, I'd write them and get my ****ing money back.

Dimitri "Jimmie" Viner , in discussions with his flight test engineers

26. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Swami X

27. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... the other eight are unimportant.

Henry Miller

28. Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Carl Gustav Jung

29. Religion... is the opium of the masses.

Karl Marx

30. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rich Cook

31. Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Lily Tomlin

32. Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good.

33. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

34. The Bible has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies.

Mark Twain

35. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

Brendon Behan

36. The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

37. The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life.

Glenda Jackson

38. The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen

39. The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap and they know it.

Fred Friendly

40. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde

41. The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.

Karl Marx

42. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Aristotle Onassis

43. The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Lily Tomlin

44. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.

Brian Pickrell

45. The question in life is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up... and fight for what you believe in.

Dan Qualye

46. The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.

Adolf Hitler

47. Let's face it, you're either crazy or you're boring.

Jonathan Winters

48. There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli

49. There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

50. There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.

Robert L. Stanfield

51. Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.

Jean Rostand

52. There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.

Jim Morrison , singer of The Doors

[Comrade Dan]

Sig test with quotes.

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"You may not be intrested in war, but war is intrested in you" - Leon Trotsky.

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - for ever" - O'Brian, 1984.

"...Peace in our time!" - Neville Chamberlain, after the Munich Agreement, 1938.

[Urban Ranger]

"Old age and treachery always overcome youth and skill."

"You don't win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other man die for his country." George Patton
<font size=1 face=Arial color=444444>[This message has been edited by Urban Ranger (edited August 24, 2000).]</font>