Who in the hell wants to eat Kelp?

[Frankychan]

[livid imp]

Originally posted by SynthetGod8
I'd use it as a raw material in my matter resequencers. Turn 1 pound of unappetizing kelp into a hot, juicy steak with a side-order of mashed potatoes in under 5 minutes.

Or just genentically alter it so that it tastes like a steak or a potato. Of course the texture would still be nasty. But hey, you are on a far flung planet you eat what you can. It is either seaweed or get your dinner out of the recycling tanks

[Dansz]

I think kelp (or some kind of seaweed) is actually used in making ice cream. Wouldn't call it very nutritious though...

[Jamski]

I eat kelp all the time. I'm a veggie, and its dead tasty (a bit like spinach/cabbage) and is also used to make non-animal gelatine.

Good stuff.

-Jam

[Barinthus]

Kelp is a very versatile foodstuff. It is a natural source of iodine and potassium, can be used as fertilizer, can remove radioactive strontium from your body along with other heavy metals, along with other many uses such as ice cream and toothpaste.

Heck, I would eat more of it if I could find those at my supermarket. Also I don't really have any recipes...

(Hint, Jamski, help me out here )

[Jamski]

Hint, Jamski, help me out here

Ok...

Kelp Salsa

8 cups coarsely chopped/ground bull kelp
2 cups coarsely chopped/ground green peppers (2-4 peppers)
4 cups coarsely chopped/ground onion (5 Vidalia onions)
4 cups finely diced celery (1 bunch)
4 cups chopped undrained canned tomatoes (2 -16oz cans = 3 cups) or 5 large fresh tomatoes
2 cups vinegar
2-3 tablespoons honey (optional)
1/4 cups cumin
2 or 3 cans green Ortega chilies
4 oz can chopped, drained jalapenos (med) or 6 oz + (hot)
2 heaping teaspoons chopped garlic or to taste
1 1/2 jars dried cilantro or two bunches fresh, chopped fine
1-2 small cans tomato paste
Kelp Collection: Good in May – June, although you may find good plants year round. Avoid plants with white splotches – they’re past their prime. Do not collect floating kelp. Do not peel or soak the kelp.

Putting kelp and vegetables through a food processor works great. If desired, parboil tomatoes first to remove the skins. If Desired, use fresh chilies and jalapenos instead of canned. Use generous amounts. Cook in a pot that can hold 6 quarts or more.

Cook 1-2 hours, tasting, in a 6 qt. minimum pot. Put in hot jars and seal. Put in hot water bath for 20 minutes or process 15 min. at 15 lbs. pressure.

Kelp Relish

8 cups bull kelp
3 cups onions
3 cups celery
2 red peppers
2 sweet red or green peppers
1 quart cider vinegar
3 cups sugar
2 teaspoons mustard seed
1 teaspoons turmeric
Kelp Collection: Good in May – June, although you may find good plants year round. Avoid plants with white splotches – they’re past their prime. Do not collect floating kelp.

Do not peel or soak the kelp. Putting kelp and vegetables through a food processor works great.

Heat the vinegar, sugar, mustard seed and turmeric and add to the vegetables. Boil slowly for 10 minutes.

Pack into sterilized jars and process 10 min. in boiling water bath. Or process in pressure canner by bringing up to 15 pounds pressure, turn off heat, and let sit until pressure drops. Be sure to follow complete instructions for your canner.

Makes about 11 pints.

Want any more?

[Barinthus]

Wheee, thanks .

But where can I find kelp? Other than some isolated out of the way Chinese food store.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Bah, quit your whinin'. Kelp's kelp. It's better than that damn fungus that those Gaian overlords keep makin' us eat. That stuff tastes like bird poo and every so often you'll get an egg and the guards have to step in and flamethrow your dish. There was one time that the guards were a little slow and the egg went for the poor diner's jugular. There we were trying to get the egg off the guy's neck and next thing you know the guards have chopped his head off. The egg still controls the body so the arms are waving around. Now everybody's puking up and everything and spiders are barking everywhere until the guards take out their melee weapons and hack the person's body up right there until only a quivering torso is left.

Bah. We keep asking them for better provisions but they mutter something about nutrient restrictions and +1 food.

Bollocks.

[Trithemius]

I am more worried about nutrients from fungus. Ugh.

[Barinthus]

Alinestra, that reminds me of a little narrative I had in my sig once about contaminated xenofungal cereal nuggets killing thousands

[Impaler[WrG]]

I think all the food on Planet is sytheticaly altered "soylent green" of some sort. They call them "Nutrients" for a reason after all, thats the only requirment. Their taking Native Chiron plants and chemicaly removing the excess Nitrate content to render it non poisonous to humans, in the process though they turn it into gruel. Once you discover BioGenetics and lift the Nut restrictions then they start geneticaly altering the plants and crossing them with earth plants, but their still getting processed into gruel.

[livid imp]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
That stuff tastes like bird poo

Umm, what does bird poo taste like? More over, how do you know?

Originally posted by Impaler[WrG]
I think all the food on Planet is sytheticaly altered "soylent green" of some sort.

Hey, what's this ladle doing in the recycling tanks?!

[Santiago_Claus]

"For Alinestra Has Tasted the Fungus: Why Halfway Through Mealtime She Goes for the Throat of Her Nearest Messmate Screaming 'Egg! Egg!', Leading Him to Wonder As They Drag Her to the Infirmary Why She Would Demand Eggs When She Knows Darn Well There Are No Chickens on Chiron"

[Mr. President]

Kelp often washes up on the beaches in Padang. Of course, you shouldn't eat it, because a lot of garbage also washes up on the same beaches in Padang.

[Jamski]

You can buy kelp everywhere (except major supermarkets and shoe stores)

-Jam