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MorganLink Magazine Issue #4: "Old stuff sold as new!"

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  • MorganLink Magazine Issue #4: "Old stuff sold as new!"

    +++ #endgameSoftwares 152.82 +11.8% +++ AndiD Inc. 108.33 +89.4% +++ ArchaicResearchInstitute 6.77 -32.0% +++ ArginineConsultings 27.83 +11.4% +++ ChaunkManagementGroup 68.77 -25.4% +++ GerikesSportswear 31.88 +2.5% +++ LoneAmigoInsurance 17.51 -7.7% +++ MeadMetal 42.47 +65.4% +++ MichaSystemsIntegrated 77.02 -1.4% +++ ParamirPictures 13.20 +6.8% +++ PJayTyCy 312.50 NEW +++ ScorpiCorp 22.51 -11.4% +++ VanderEntertainment 1.00 HALTED +++ YodaSoda 51.28 +39.8% +++
    MorganLink Mag. Issue 4:
    "Old stuff sold as new!"


    This year´s (ninth) national tragedy day, commemorating the Spartan assault on Morgan Industries in MY2161, resulting in the complete obliteration of the company´s headquarters, the death of several thousand civilians as well as many high ranking managers, the destruction of the Planetary Transit System and the larget economical crisis on planet, attracted 145,000 Morganites to the memorials at Morgan Transport. In a brilliant speech, SOO Andi D urged the people to „not let hatred gain the upper hand in the struggle between good and evil“. The destruction of the old capital was „an atrocity of no comparison“, he said, „but the Spartans did what they deemed neccessary in their desperate situation“. He further elaborated the long way to conflict between the Corporation and the Federation, which was based on misunderstandings and mistakes on both sides. However, it was the „duty of each Morganite“ to „bring an end to violence and grief“. Therefore the national holiday should be „a day to think of all the great achievements made in times of peace, not war; a day to admire the works of a generation of Morganites who haven´t known hostilities nor warfare; a day to remind all people of the importance of peace“.

    Of course that speech earned him great respect and half an hour of standing ovations. Later that evening, old newscasts from the days before the invasion were aired. One of those historical reports can be read in the Articles section („Projects spur economic expansion“)..


    Notorious Criminal "St. Nick" Leads Prison Breakout!
    Reported by arginine

    The guards of Annan Brand Value Correctional Facilities Ltd. Restore Greed! facility where found out of their posts, holding boxes wrapped in decorated color paper signing rebellions songs! Some of the songs even use the word "GIVE" MULTIPLE TIMES. Investigation has revealed that the guards of this facility with "Greed is Good Law" are in fact refugees from the Hive and The Gaian Union... the least greedy factions on planet! Many senior officials, including some VPs are furious with this finding. "How are we supposed to return this lost delinquents into proud members of the Corporation and its founding principles if the prison is run by people who's idea of allocating precious resources is bysharing?!?!" Depending on investigation's finding may result in siezure of the family's assets, and forced labor in a special joint Hive-Morgan correctional compound.

    You might remember while ago the Morgan Legal Forces apprehended a red suited fellow that comitted over 500 voilations of the informally titled "Greed is Good Law". It is believed that with his charisma, mind washing songs and large numbers of presents, the guards fell to his persuasiveness and neglected their duties allowing the prisoners to escape without much of a struggle. Many prisoners have escaped and will likely try to corrupt our children with their nefarious ways!

    Given this emergency ALL members Morgan Defense and the Morgan Legal forces have been called up to active duty.

    Sad children from the other factions have been shipped in and have been placed all over Morgan Lands in the hope the Red Menace will be lured in. Many have been put in cheap housing that still use large masonry tubes to exhaust fire fumes. Evergreen trees have been placed in these houses along with milk and cookies complete with tracking devices! Rest assured these many traps are under heavy survailence!

    Be on the lookout for a Red Suited individual that 'gives' gifts to individuals! His means of transportation is a early 20th century sled pulled by 8 xenodeer. It employs not yet understood gravitonics technology. Needless to say, there will be a big reward to information resulting in this menace's capture!.”

    Reported by #endgame, M.Y. 2161

    Following the destruction of Morgan Industries by Spartan suicide troops, Morganite shareholders quickly found a loophole in the insurance policy that Lone Amigo Insurance had been used to insure the colony. Despite being a 'Mindworm Insurance(tm)' policy, the word 'mindworm' was never used in subsection 42.3, which details payouts in the event of base destruction. Lone Amigo Insurance was unavailable for comment.

    Energy drawn from Lone Amigo Insurance was quickly redirected into the construction of critical base facilities, such as The Big Board(tm), which shows the share value of all Morganite stocks.

    No board members of Morgan Industries were available for comment, as they were all making long trips by private rover, since the Planetary Transit System(tm) was no longer available.

    Mindworm Insurance is a trademark of Lone Amigo Insurance. The Big Board is a trademark of Morgan Industries. The Planetary Transit System is was a trademark of Morgan Industries.

    M.I.S.E. Update!

    Following the destruction of Morgan Industries with its Planetary Transite System, the stocks throughout the Corporation lost billions of ECs in what can only be called The Big Crisis (TBC)... Of course the city itself was eventually rebuilt, now named Morgan Transport (as a reference to the outstanding achievements in Planetary Transportation realized at that place), but the stock exchange building was obliterated. The marble floors shattered, the expensive electronics destroyed and all of the exquisite interieur ruined.
    So the new Stock Exchange will be erected at Money Valley, which is also the new company headquarters of Morgan Industries. Nonetheless, the name M.I.S.E. is being kept as a symbol of the glory and wealth that has been Morgan Industries, capital of the civilized world! As long as the S.E. is under construction, the Big Board at Morgan Transport, rush-built on the ruins of the old M.I.S.E., will be the center of Morganic Economics.
    In the recent years, the stocks began a period of recovery. However, the top mark of 3,998,400 EC has not been reached again. It still stands as a goal to be achieved within less than 5 years, to prove the company´s ability to cope with even worst case market developements.
    Worth mentioning is the skyrocketing climb of AndiD Inc., which has developed to be the dominating public service provider, owning schools, post bureaus, telecommunication networks, network nodes and taxi stations all over the Corporation Lands. Also several new economy companies have made their introduction to the markets, including PJayTyCy, being a fast food chain whose costumers enjoy free network node access while eating. The concept is simple, but brilliant. The youth spends more time in TyCy´s than at home... So the young company´s stocks are now being sold at fiveteen times the price they were introduced for...


    The MI6 (Morgan Industries Six), also being the top Market Research Department of the Corporation, today has released amazing material covering the early stages of the Spartan police state. Among that material there´s an early draft for the Spartan Kel logo, which was actually never used because field tests have not shown the desired effects on troop morale.

    The above picture shows the early draft (left side) in comparison to the current logo (right side). It is a curtesy of the Ubiqitous Narks Organization (UNO).

    Experts wonder whether other well-known propaganda symbols of the Federation originate in similarly ridiculous drafts... Research into this direction has received much funding from both the MI6 and Vander Entertainment ...
    Previous Issue
    Quote of the day: "Don´t judge money by the wallet it´s in."

    22 YEARS AGO

    Best of the Past – The Chaunk Affair
    Reported by arginine, M.Y. 2148

    A series of mistakes, including the loss of several scouts to mind worms, failure to plan for the 40 EC cost for democracy in the crucial run up to the PEG and slow manfacturing growth have lead the Board to remove Jtsisyoda from the position of Acting CEO. Many expect Chaunk to take the position of Acting CEO as Jtsisyoda replacement.

    Some VPs view this demotion as a power grab by Chaunk acting on the recent bad news to improve his stature and stock options in Morgan Industries by merely acting at an oportune time. An unnamed source has told this reporter "Chaunk played a leading role in seizing many of Nwabudike Morgan's assests shortly after planetfall. He may not look like it, but he is a very skilled at beuracratic warfare. Jtsisyoda gave way rather than fight Chaunk. Acting CEO is a very stressful job, and it has taken a toll on Jtsisyoda. He is in no position to fight."

    In a press release, Jtsisyoda said that he was looking foward to cashing a significant portion of his options and enjoying many of the luxury spas he helped create.

    By gerikes, M.Y. 2145

    Morgan Industries earlier today held a press conference to give more details into the secret projects that analyst have been rumoring over for the past few years. The press secretary of Morgan Industries announced that the company, along with their partners at Implaler Polymers, has recently finished not one, but two grand-scale projects that will be used to boost economic expansion within the sector. This means that Morgan Industries has put its name on two of the three grand-scale projects completed since planetfall.

    “Those who had enough ambition to realize their full potentialities as a wealthy member of this society took their chance years ago, aboard the Unity. They took their chance by joining under Former-CEO Morgan. After the years of living under the identity of what on Earth would be known as a “startup”, and the discovery of Former-CEO Morgan’s crimes, they have had little to show for it. However, the completion of these projects have brought these people into a new era”, claimed the beaming Steve Bullmer.

    Finished within five years of each other, the projects are meant to build on the economy in two ways. First, The Human Genome Project, as was completed at Impaler Polymers in 2139, allows for greater medicines and boosts to other quality-of-life materials. Alone, this is a great achievement, but analysts say that a side effect will be a boost in consumer confidence, a premise already shedding truth with the recent increase in consumer investments since the project had gone into place. Second, the Planetary Transit System will be used to allow for more jobs as the territory on Planet we inhabit become wider. Along with the increase in jobs, analysts expect to see more increases in the quality-of-life, as more families will be able to leave the cramped conditions of the cities close to the initial landing site, and stretch out to the less-cramped areas. “In effect, this will also reduce many overpopulation-issues in our larger cities,” explained Bullmer.

    Bullmer dispelled the idea that the completion of the Gaian project, “The Weather Paradigm”, sparked the initiation of the second project at Morgan Industries, saying, “The Gaian project has had no effect on our planning process. We are actually quite pleased that the Gaian’s are willing to realize the potentials of increasing terraforming in order to increase production. This small step away from their environmentalist views and towards the industrialization of their faction could prove to be the building blocks for a powerful corporation which we would have the pleasure to do business with in the future

    Educating the Poor
    Reported by Arginine

    (Part Two - Educating a Gaian)
    Reporter: Now, we check up on the progress of our Gaian student.
    Gaian: ... and that is cacupuncture. Feels nice, doesn't it?
    Morgan teacher 2: Yes it does feel nice. How would you like to go into business with me? We could open up a line of cacupuncture spas and make a fortune!
    Gaian: Is all you think about money?
    Morgan teacher 2: No! that's ridiculous! I also think about making money. I think of how I can save money, where I can buy things for the least amount of money, I look for stocks that will make money...
    Gaian: I get the idea.
    Morgan teacher 2: Now where was I, oh yes. The Morgan economy is a Free Market economy. Namely, the market and private company owners know best what to do and are in many cases right. The less knowing central government acknowledges that and listens to the market for guidance instead of vice versa in many factions...
    Gaian: What about the local wildlife? Aren't they taken into consideration?!?! What about the air! If it was profitable to make toxins to dump
    Morgan teacher 2: profitablity comes from performing a desired good or service cheaply. If it were for former gas tanks then...
    Gaian: So yes.
    Gaian: Have you hugged a tree recently?
    Morgan teacher 2: There's no money in hugging trees if you don't have a tree farm, which I don't, so no.
    Gaian: Your economy should listen to planet. Planet is sort of sentient, so you can learn many things. By slowing down, and giving room for planet to speak, you can learn much from planet on making your faction more efficient and more ecologically friendly.
    Morgan teacher 2: But, that land is needed for our luxury condiminioms and holotheatres. How our we supposed to grow without that land?
    Gaian: Well, my faction has not gotten to this point yet. We still have a large commitee that decides what the Gaian Union need for the upcoming few years and comes up with a plan on what to do.
    Morgan teacher 2: You don't mean it's....
    Gaian: Oh it is. Our wise leaders plan every last screw, every last . Our industry has boomed like you never believe and there is plenty of housing so everyone is growing. It's just like the plan says.
    Morgan teacher 2: So it is a....
    Gaian: Planned Economy!
    Morgan teacher 2: AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" *falls on the floor, huddled up* A committeeeeeeeee deciding what the factooooory owner haaaassss too doooo.
    Gaian: Oh no. We don't have much his, or hers right now. Everything is shared and owned by no one.
    Morgan teacher 2: NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *he falls unconcious*
    Gaian: Does this mean today's class is over?
    Stay tuned for the next edition´s chapter "Part Three: Educating a Data Angel" !

    In Other News
    • MorganLink accused of spreading false propaganda material!
    • Vander-sightings in MorganLink offices. Occultists speak of "miracle". Police initiates search.
    • Global warming? Sudden hailstorm injures 65 sunbathers at Red Fungus Beach... Scientists baffled.
    • Vegetarians rally against "100% beef salads" at McMeat


    Special Offer!
    Morganindustries KitchenMaster now at a spectacular bargain offer!!! Buy two at the price of four and get one free!!!
    Call 0800-MONEYDRAIN.
    Eccentric and rich playboy (56) looking for sexy dolly bird (max. 25) only interested in money. Weird "hobbies" ( ) wanted!!! Chiffre 69-66-69.
    Help! I am Hugh, they abuse me as cheap labourer in the MorganLink office! If you read this, please rescue me! Hurry!!!
    PJay's Tycoons Feeder Company (PJayTyCy) is pleased to announce a live(1) concert on June 9th, MY 2173. Performing artists will be : The Commerce Garden (hiphop), Kings Of The Golden Age (rock), The Gorillaz (special guests from our Gaian friends) and many others...
    The concert will be held at our main restaurant in Money Valley and everybody is free to enter(2).

    (1) "live" only means physical presence of artists
    (2)Tickets cost 49 mEC's. Drinks NOT included. Our usual policy "don't occupy a seat unless you eat" will be strictly enforced.

    Editor this issue: Micha
    Editor in Chief: Micha

    A mere 25 years? I´m not even finished with the previous one!
    It´s such a brilliant newspaper, we all know quality needs time...
    I cannot wait for the next edition! Please hurry up!!!
    I get the vague impression the editors at ML are not *that* dedicated... (And I´m a moron)
    Where´s the banana??? ( :ana: )
    Heinrich, King of Germany, Duke of Saxony in Cyclotron's amazing Holy Roman Empire NES
    Let me eat your yummy brain! :D
    "be like Micha!" - Cyclotron

  • #2


    • #3
      Wow, this magazine has now the approval of the Morganic Minister of Monocle!

      Also it appears as if there are three particulary slow readers around... *chuckle*
      Heinrich, King of Germany, Duke of Saxony in Cyclotron's amazing Holy Roman Empire NES
      Let me eat your yummy brain! :D
      "be like Micha!" - Cyclotron


      • #4
        I vote educating the poor as the best article. Its so funny RP wise if you take into consideration the morgan/gaian alliance. Good job.
        -=/+\ Wuy3 /+\=-


        • #5
          Yes; I want to see what they have to say next time with the Data Angel.
          You have two choices in life; Explore and learn or Vegetate.
          There is a reason for everything.


          • #6
            Originally posted by ForesterSOF
            Yes; I want to see what they have to say next time with the Data Angel.
            It's very cute, you'll like it
            What type of idiot quotes himself


            • #7
              I love the advertisments. Especially the third one on the left.

              Great issue.
              Seriously. Kung freaking fu.


              • #8
                Yes! This issue now officially has more voters than the 8th edition of the Phalanx!

                The MorganLink marketing department has decided to celebrate this development at the Recreation Commons. Just show this coupon to get a free drink:

                I am a reader of MorganLink, the best source of news and entertainment in the northern hemisphere.

                PS: Thanks for all the comments, they´re highly appreciated.
                Heinrich, King of Germany, Duke of Saxony in Cyclotron's amazing Holy Roman Empire NES
                Let me eat your yummy brain! :D
                "be like Micha!" - Cyclotron


                • #9
                  I loved this paper, great work


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Micha
                    Yes! This issue now officially has more voters than the 8th edition of the Phalanx!
                    You do realize you are distributing it for free, right? This actually means you lost more revenue this way than Sparta issuing the Phalanx. How do you explain to your superiors?
                    Seriously. Kung freaking fu.


                    • #11
                      Wealthy sponsors and cheap labor.
                      no sig


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by PJayTycy
                        Wealthy sponsors and cheap labor.
                        Now I know why that special ad sounded so desperate.
                        Seriously. Kung freaking fu.


                        • #13
                          Good edition guys
                          On the ISDG 2012 team at the heart of CiviLIZation


                          • #14
                            Thanks for all the compliments guys, they honestly are appreciated
                            What type of idiot quotes himself


                            • #15
                              Hmm. Odd.

                              I would've thought MorganLink Magazine would be a bit of Morganite propaganda (or adverstising or marketing or whatever), so I was quite surprised to see the hapless Morganite losing his debate with the Gaian.

                              Does this mean that the MorganLink Magazine provides *gasp* fair and balanced news?
                              "I'm too young and too male to be the mother of a seventeen year old female me!"