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The Centauri Inquirer: Issue 1

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  • The Centauri Inquirer: Issue 1

    The Centauri Inquirer: Because inquiring minds want to know!

    Rumors have been abuzz about a secret Morganic mind control lab. At an unknown time ago some researchers encountered a man with a rather mysterous psychic whom calls himself 'Yuri'. He claims to be from a parallel universe in which Hitler was killed and arrived via a slightly damaged time machine that escaped a T-Rex. A few people have seen the 'time machine', but Yuri has kept most of his equipment to himself.

    Morganic scientists have been amazed at Yuri's level, and more importantly, low cost required to mind control not only people, but animals as well.

    It is currently rumored that Yuri, while on a mission behind enemy territory mind controlled a nearby officer, and had him do some 'fishing'. Yuri left, freeing the officer. Once free, the officer realized what he had done, seemed very scared and acted quickly and quietly to leave the area. There is a rumored recording of this, and it is speculated that the officier might now be colaborating profitably with the Morgan Legal forces.

    Alien Aduction! Mystery person remembers for the Inquirer what he/she has tried to forget!!!!

    The interview person's identity has been withheld due to personal concerns.

    Our abductee was encountered on dark night, in a remote area of Hive territory on motorcycle. The alien ship was a ball of light, which moved through the sky at high speeds, completely silent. The abductee thought it was probably some secret military project and thought little of it. It was when the ball of light was hovering about 10 meters above him, when a beam of light pulled him/her into the spacecraft. Upon entry into the spacecraft, he/she come face to face a 3.5 meter, creature with strong, natural armor and 'mandibles'. The creature identified herself as a member of a race called the 'progenitors'. She said that Planet was theirs and demanded to be taken to my leader, so that the inferior human race can begin its rightful 'obedience' to the progenitors in harnessing the sixth manifold.

    The abductee threatened to sue the aliens. They laughed that 'lawyers tasted bad, but nutritious'. The abductee then said they could shove their 'obedience' up their a**. At that the aliens began rectal probing and many other painfull activities. She promised "We'll be back." The abductee was then dropped from the ball of light from about 20 meters onto his/her motorcycle in a rather painful landing. The ball of light flew away, and has yet to be seen be by the abductee again.

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    He who knows others is wise.
    He who knows himself is enlightened.
    -- Lao Tsu

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