Voice of the Planet Special Issue #2: Happy Holidays!

[Illuminatus]

Merry Christmas and happy Giftsgiving day!!

In this issue: *Gaian Union celebrates 53rd Christmas from Planetfall! *Giftsgiving day: how it came to be *Santa Fungus? *Some general notices *Santa Fungus Email! *Santa Fungus is coming to town *Santa Fungus rides again! Gaian Union celebrates 53rd Christmas from Planetfall! Lord’s Believers, First Amalgamated Church and Syncretist Church tommorow celebrate Christmas. Christmas (literally, the Mass of Christ) is a traditional holiday in the Christian calendar, celebrated in most of the planet’s factions on December 25 (according to standard mission calendar), which celebrates the birth of Jesus. According to the Christian gospels, Jesus was born to Mary in Bethlehem (an Earth city), where she and her husband Joseph had travelled to register in the Roman census. Christ's birth, or nativity, was said by his followers to fulfill the prophecies of Judaism that a messiah would come, from the house of David, to redeem the world from original sin. Early Christians celebrated more the subsequent Epiphany, when the baby Jesus was visited by the Magi, and efforts to fix a date on which to celebrate his birth began some centuries later. The precise chronology of Jesus' birth and death as well as the historicity of Jesus are still debated, even on Chiron. Christmas is the most economically significant holiday of the year, and it is also celebrated in many factions with small or nonexistant Christian populations, like in University. It should be noted that Giftsgiving day is popular in most of the factions, unlike Christmas. As far as we know, Human Hive is the only faction that openly forbids it’s celebration in accordance with it’s atheistic agenda. Due to Planetfall factional and even regional Christmas traditions are still rich and varied, despite the planetary networks. For example several factions indenpedently developed tradition of Giftsgiving day. Sister Miriam Godwinson praised this day and sent a "message of peace and tolerance" to all factions. “Our Lord God wants us to leave in peace on His Promised World [Chiron, a.n.], and our duty is to send message of peace and tolerance to all. I call mister Yang to stop his hordes and allow religious freedoms, I call Spartans to halt the agression, I call University to stop wicked experiments. This day is to be cherished, and I hope that at least once a year, guns will go silent, suffering shall stop and people will remember that they can do something for each other.” Archibishop of Syncretist Church Karrein reminded us upon importance of Christmas message – “His [Jesus, a.n.] sacrifice must be remembered, since He has shown us the way to peace. We have failed to heed his message once, but we must not fail to heed his message second time – for He shall return to his flock and lead them to Earth Reborn.” Senior Aruva Kamahi told us that “Jesus was an important prophet, and his teachings are still a part of our scriptures. May we celebrate Christmas with our families and remember him and other valued prophets.” Lady Deirdre is also expected to make a special Christmas speech tommorow at 12:00 GLT (Gaia's Landing Time). Giftsgiving day: how it came to be On Earth, Christmas grew over time to a holiday which main point was mostly forgotten. Under influence of capitalism, it became a holiday which main purpose is to stimulate economy through gift buying. Over time, Christmas became a stressful holiday as shopping frenzies took over once peaceful holiday. In 2011., by proclamation of the Pope, traditional Christmas was moved to 15th of December each year in response to its fading religious meaning. Affilation of Christmas with Santa Claus has now ended. In response to this, a new holiday, Giftsgiving day arose, supported by Coca-Cola and other industries. Many countries which celebrated Christmas purely for the secular gift giving occasion (Japan and many other Asian countries) supported this. Also, this was the time Pepsi launched its own holiday, Cooloween, with a new gift bringer - GranDaddy Cool, hoping to attract generation Y. In 2032., Pope repealed this motion, as traditional Christmas waned compared to Giftsgiving Day. Santa Claus and Jesus were together again. However, economic catastrophes of that decade ensured that giftshopping frenzies were a thing of past, although giftgiving tradition continued. Giftsgiving day continue to be celebrated instead of Christmas in Asian countries and parts of Africa. Cooloween continued to be celebrated until Pepsi got new managment. Gaian Union officialy celebrates Giftsgiving day and Christmas on the same day. With traditional Santa gone, religious leaders have no objection to celebration of Giftsgiving day parallel to Christmas. Howeveral several foreign dignitaries said that they will shoot anyone who violates their airspace with the exception of Morgans who said they'll sue him first. Santa Fungus rides again! Santa Fungus (also known under names Xeno Santa, Santa Claus 2.0 and Jerry), will deliver presents to children all over Gaian Union and most of factions tonight! Riding on his rover pulled by Locusts of Chiron he will bring presents to all good, ecoaware children and deliver mindworm eggs to bad children. Santa Fungus is expected to take off about this midnight from his secret base on South Pole and break all laws of physics and plausability by delivering tons of presents to kids around the planet. Santa Fungus is delivering presents since MY 2102, after it was suddenly realised that Kriss Kringle was not part of Unity’s crew. Santa Fungus? Yes. Traditional Santa Claus is gone, however, new, ecofriendly Santa Fungus is around. Having a red-pinkish suit, beard and a bag full of gifts, there is not much difference from Earth's Santa Claus. However, Santa Fungus goes around a world in rover pulled by Locusts of Chiron. Unlike old Santa, Santa Fungus awards gifts to good and ecofriendly children. Also, instead of coal (which is almost impossible to find on this planet) he brings mindworm eggs to bad children. It should be noted, that unlike the story told to kids, children do not get real and dangerous mindworm eggs, but mindworms eggs with failed larvae which can regulary be found in xenofungus, so no one is in danger. However, the story tells that truly bad children will get a real mindworm egg with larvae. Initial objections about brutality of this Santa's methods quickly disappeared, as it became obvious that living on Planet quickly teaches children to be careful, although some relate this to almost inherent defiance to violence found in almost every Gaian. Santa Fungus tradition has spread or is spreading to other factions, but it does meet opposition because of the inherent ecological message it carries. Santa Animals? Suggested Santa Fungus helpers since no Elves were carried from Earth As Santa Fungus is replacement for Kriss Kringle, so are Santa animals replacements for Earth's elves (better known in 21st century name "vertically challenged" ). They work in Living Factory situated within Fortress of Solitude, producing toys and collecting foiled eggs. Santa Fungus is known under a lot of other names, like Xeno Santa, Santa Claus 2.0, Jerry, StrongSant, Chris Craig etc.

Some general notices *If you see a flying rover pulled by 24 Locusts of Chiron do not shoot! *Santa Fungus arrives at your home via ventilation system. However strange noises in the air ducts might be mindworms so be careful. *Be careful when choosing mindworm eggs - ask local xenobiologists if larvae in there is normal or failed. *When decorating Christmas tree, make sure you don't cut it down. Remember that old Earth tradition of cutting down the tree to decorate it in your home is no longer allowed. Instead decorate your own tree in the outskirts of base or rent a holographic replica. *Be careful for spies that might use this occasion to infiltrate us *If your presents aren't there, remember that Santa Fungus does not deliver all presents by himself. For instance, Santa Speedy delivers presents to Yang (actually he is still delivering the first one to him) Santa Speedy, helper of Santa Fungus *Do not listen to rumours, Santa Fungus does not actually eat Morganites so don't capture them, tie them and leave them near ventilation ducts. *Santa Fungus does not gun down offenders, it is just a legendary song from earthshow Futurama *Santa Fungus and his Fortress of Solitude on South Pole are not considered a faction Santa Fungus email! Letters taken from SantaFungus@org.ga: Dear Santa, I wonder how you can breathe without a breathing mask. Timmy I am Santa Fungus, the xenofungus likes me, so I can breathe nitrogen freely. Yo Santa, YOU SUXXORZ! You braught my last year and laster year mindworm eggz. Your gifts are teh suxxorz. AnnaL-Pax Improve your grammar skills, stop hacking Spartan government sites, don't throw trash to the ground level and don't bite you cat, Cosmo. Santa, Santa, can I have the Green Gardener toy this year? And Horticulture Hulk? Please, please, please I recycle and I take care of our per spore launcher Spot. Michelle I know what is best for you Michelle, trust my choice. Dear comrade Santa, I have a suggestion for you. Why don't you put simbols of hammer and sickle on your hat? And rename yourself to Comrade Santa? Then you could reward children for their dedication to communism. Yours sincerely, Tassadarania. Comrade Tassadar, please stop this. This is 16th time you sent me email like this. Also, if you near South Pole again with Soviet Furbies again, we will shoot you again. Dear Santy, please watch over my dad who is on the front. I don't want any presents for me, just take care of him. I want to see him so much didn't see me going to the xenozoo last month. Xui Ha Your father thinks of you too and knows you are a good little girl. I promise I will do my best to keep him safe. You just keep being a good girl. Santa Fungus, how do you deliver all those presents in one night? My daddy says it is impossible. Anyway, I want a camel toy this year. Moggombi Your father doesn't know that timespace continuum breaks when I start my tour around the world. I'll do my best for the toy. Dear Santa, what do you think about our offer? You can earn a lot. MIBoD Your offer sucks. I don't want to sell my Living Factory or allow myself to become a Morgan franchize. Once again no. And btw, you are all getting eggs this year again. Dear Santa Fungus, How can you type with your gloves on? Sincerely, Abdi LaRue This is because I am awesome! However, if you ask me again, you'll get an egg this year. Santa Fungus is coming to base You better watch out, you better not cry better not pout I’m telling you why. Santa Fungus is coming to base. He is checkin the ‘links And checking it twice. Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice. Santa Fungus is coming to base. He sees when you polute. He knows when you’re.littering. He knows if you’re eco’ware or not. So walk with Planet for him! You better watch out, you better not cry better not pout I’m telling you why. Santa Fungus is coming to base. Polluters will get mindworm eggs. Larvae shall hatch in their brains. Screamin’ for mercy they’ll die You better watch out, you better cry Pout since harmed Planet you had. You better watch out, you better not cry better not pout I’m telling you why. Santa Fungus is coming to base. Kind children presents will get Caus’ Santa Fungus likes them. If you Walk’d with Planet had You better watch out, you better not cry Caus’ presents you’ll get. You better watch out, you better not cry better not pout I’m telling you why. Santa Fungus is coming to base. Author of the Issue: Illuminatus No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever. No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles. Perhaps there will be more special issues in the future! Gaia's Landing MY 2153->57g4566ht-fhzj/*sdg4.hf55487.tr27f. EDIT LOG HISTORY: *FIXED A FUNNY SPELLING ERROR

[Darsnan]

The family and I are off to the Gaia's Landing Town Hall to watch the ceremonial decorating and lighting of the First Tree, a tradition carried over from the MotherWorld that is so ancient its origins are lost in the mists of time. I am bringing my 3 children (my family carries the stigma of being a 3 child family, but I'll have it known that 2 are "Replacement Children" : 1 for my wife, one for myself (as established by the Conservation Council), and one allocation donated by my sister-in-law who chose to only have one child) so as to immerse them in proper Gaian traditions. Curious enough, several other factions practice a similar celebration, only in their versions they first kill the tree, then decorate its carcass. We shield our children from this knowledge, and in the future, we hope to convince these other factions of the errors of their ways....

Happy Holidays Everyone!


D

[GeoModder]

Voted, but no comment due to no time reading the issue...

[Maniac]

A Happy Giftsgiving Day and Christmas for everyone!

While Giftsgiving Day dates back from the early twenty-first century, and Christmas is a big two millennia old, the meaning the Spartans give to this day dates back even further, to its original meaning.

We Spartans celebrate on this day the Feast of Light. A few days back it was the Winter Solstice. Alpha Centauri Prime was farthest from Chiron, and the night the longest and darkest of the year. But now the sun is strengthening and the days are beginning to grow longer. Let us celebrate, conquer the darkness, and bring luck for the coming year!

[Googlie]

Nice one guys!!

And a belated merry Christmas to one and all as well

(especially to Zak!! - thanks for the great early pressie - the Merchant Exchange - WOW)

GGLIE

[Maniac]

We were hoping for the Virtual World, but ah well, you have to be happy with what you get.

[GeoModder]

Originally posted by Maniac
We Spartans celebrate on this day the Feast of Light. A few days back it was the Winter Solstice. Alpha Centauri Prime was farthest from Chiron, and the night the longest and darkest of the year. But now the sun is strengthening and the days are beginning to grow longer. Let us celebrate, conquer the darkness, and bring luck for the coming year!

Are Spartans blinded by Hercules or what?
It shined brightly almost three quarters of the 'night', saving us the energy for illuminating our cities during that time. It's almost full day in another orbit or 10-15.