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  • Recreation Commons – Fifteenth Floor: The Hive Feeding Bay

    Deep inside the Hive Empire, a mysterious place can be found, where weird things happen everyday. But we are not going to talk about Chairman’s Yang bedroom and his collection of teddybears.

    Instead, we are going to talk about the feeding bay in Hive, where common drones eat terrible food everyday, where common drones vomit terrible food everyday, where common drones are nervestapled for vomitting terrible food everyday, and where Hive mind stuff is served every day.

    There, our heroes wake up captured to look at face of their tormentor, Chairman Yang.
    ‘Kill them!’ – said Yang.
    And so our heroes died.
    But this is not end of our story, for there was a group of unimportant episode characters captured too.


    GeoModder awakened to find himself in cell, along with the rest of Recreation Commons patrons. ‘Wow, that was some crazy night indeed.’ As the rest of patrons awakened, GeoModder looked around. ‘Does anyone know where we are?’ –asked Method. 'It is wet, dirty, it stinks and it is undergorund – we are in men's WC.' – Kassiopeia deduced.
    ‘At last! You have came to save me!’ – a voice whispered from the wall.
    As heads turned to wall they spotted a man chained to wall.
    ‘I knew you will come.’
    ‘Red! Is that you?’ –asked Ouro.
    ‘Yes, it is me. While getting Hive Mind stuff I was captured by Hive patrols and thrown into cell in the Hive. It seems you finaly got the message I sent you via xenoparrot.’
    ‘Yeeess. We did. We came to save you.’ –said Skanky, coughing out some feathers. ‘I knew that parrots normally do not have datachips on their legs.’ – said Skanky to himself.
    ‘But why are you all here? Is this some complicated sort of plan to rescue me? Did you voluntary surrender to Hive forces to rescue me? I sent you data on impending assault thorugh other xenoparrot.’
    ‘Those #$%& parrots! I should not have done it twice.’ –said Skanky coughing out some more feathers.
    ‘To be frank with you Red, we did not. We were captured while we were probably asleep. I am sorry. We are not her to save you. And don’t ask about your parrots – that Spartan got them.’ – smacksim said while looking frowning at Skanky.
    Method suddenly got an idea – ‘Hey! How did we get here? Hive is so far away form the original bar and it is unlikely that they got there by land. How did we get to Hive in only couple of hours? This is impossible!’
    A passing by Hive guard shots Method. – No pointing out of plotholes.
    Red. –‘You were captured? You were not warned about the attack and the spy among our ranks?’
    ‘ Spy? Who is the spy?’ –asked Hong, err Snowflake.
    ‘Who indeed? Har, har, har.’ – a male voice startled the former patrons.
    They looked towards the source of voice and they saw – Comrade Tassadar standing in front of their cell, followed by Hive guards.
    - But why?
    ‘Chairman Yang promised me tons and tons of spam in exchange for my betrayal. I accepted! Oh and I am evil! And commie too! Har, har, har!’
    ‘At least you are not a Finn’- muttered Lemmy.
    ‘Oh no! You did not receive any of my three xenoparrot messages! We are doomed!’ –cried Red.
    ‘Three parrots? I only ate two.’ – Skanky said in surprise.
    ‘That means…’
    Suddenly gunfire sounds and explosions started to shake Hive.
    ‘Oh no – it is Illuminatus, leading an army of things! Run for your er I mean fight for communism to your death!’ – said Tassadar before he ran away.
    A blast opened the door of their cell.
    ‘Quickly! Follow me if you want to live.’ – said Illuminatus.
    ‘You received the third message!’ –cryed Red in happiness.
    ‘Yes, but it was already too late. So I decided to get you out with an army of .
    ‘You are truly a great man!’ –said Maniac,
    ‘No, you still haven’t paid your bills.’ – now get moving.

    After only a few minutes they were completely surrunded by advancing Hive army.
    ‘Well this is the end.’ –said FlameFlash.
    ‘No it is not!’ – shouted Illuminatus , there is still one hope.
    As he approached Drogue,who was still unconscious and carried by GeoModder (he drank far too much xenobrew), he muttered this words: ‘Drogue, forgive me for what I am going to do.’
    Then he hit him with his shredder pistol into his stomach.
    Drogue awakened suddenly, shooting fireballs in all directions. Within moments, the Hive army was destroyed.
    ‘Hurray Drogue – you saved us.’- people shouted and danced in joy.
    ‘I did? Great. And now, who is the #$%& who kicked me in the stomach?’
    ‘He did,' – said Red pointing at Skanky.
    ‘No, wait Drogue it is a lie!’ – shouted Skanky in panic, but it was too late. The rest of the thread Skanky would probably spend dodging and avoiding Drogue’s fireballs.

    ‘Now, we can finaly return home.’ –said Micha.
    ‘Wait a minute.’ – said Illuminatus. This is Hive, right? Why don’t we head to Feeding Bay and taste some Hive mind stuff After all, Hive army has been defeated, and as long Drogue is conscious, we don not need to fear reinforcements.’


    [due to special circumstances, Hive mind stuff is free and in nearly unlimited supply.]
    24
    Great!
    4.17%
    1
    Excellent!
    0.00%
    0
    I see dancing :ana: again!
    16.67%
    4
    It sucks.
    8.33%
    2
    It is good, but there are better things.
    0.00%
    0
    I prefer eating xenoparrots.
    12.50%
    3
    Are there any xexenoxenodoughnuts?
    16.67%
    4
    It is one of worst things ever.
    4.17%
    1
    I am a drone. I need to get to work.
    12.50%
    3
    I only drink xenobrew.
    25.00%
    6
    Last edited by Illuminatus; September 17, 2004, 07:41.
    SMAC/X FAQ | Chiron Archives
    The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --G.B.Shaw

  • #2
    Brilliant opening Illu

    /me fires a fireball at Skanky...

    Mine's a Mind Stuff

    /me fires another fireball in the general direction of a Mr. Burns...

    One little thing, i think you mean deduced rather than deducted in
    we are in men's WC.' – Kassiopeia deducted.


    /me spins round and fires a fireball wildly, frustrated at his seeming lack of ability to hit Skanky...
    Smile
    For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
    But he would think of something

    "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Drogue
      C'mon, a year costs less than a night out, it's not much to pay to this place, especially considering how much we use it.
      Yes, for creditcard owners it's easy to do so.

      Besides: I don't go out anymore.
      He who knows others is wise.
      He who knows himself is enlightened.
      -- Lao Tsu

      SMAC(X) Marsscenario

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by GeoModder
        Yes, for creditcard owners it's easy to do so.
        They have the helping program. I don't have one either.

        Originally posted by GeoModder
        Besides: I don't go out anymore.
        Thus you have more money to spare!
        Smile
        For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
        But he would think of something

        "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

        Comment


        • #5
          Nice intro indeed, Ob... erm Illu.

          I see that I'm still your (minor) hero number one.

          O yes, and in this bar I might prefer XenoBrew above anything else...
          He who knows others is wise.
          He who knows himself is enlightened.
          -- Lao Tsu

          SMAC(X) Marsscenario

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Drogue
            Thus you have more money to spare!
            Yes: on jaunting around the world!
            He who knows others is wise.
            He who knows himself is enlightened.
            -- Lao Tsu

            SMAC(X) Marsscenario

            Comment


            • #7
              14th Floor's Biggest Alcoholics:
              Code:
              Drogue 		144
              GeoModder 	131
              Method 		32
              Snowflake 	31
              Kassiopeia 	24
              Ouro_827 	21
              FlameFlash 	17
              Lemmy 		17
              Illuminatus 	16
              Zeiter 		12
              Micha 		8
              Whoha 		7
              smacksim 	6
              Maniac 		5
              MrWhereItsAt 	5
              Skanky Burns 	5
              DeathByTheSword 3
              Comrade Tassadar 3
              Zero 		3
              Chaunk 		3
              Darsnan 	2
              mart7x5 	2
              Flubber 	1
              ChairmanSlick 	1
              Hercules 	1
              Andemagne 	1
              jtsisyoda 	1
              Dissident 	1
              I'll do the greatest alcoholics of all time when I get home (spreadsheet's there).
              Smile
              For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
              But he would think of something

              "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

              Comment


              • #8
                You took away 2 of my posts!!!
                He who knows others is wise.
                He who knows himself is enlightened.
                -- Lao Tsu

                SMAC(X) Marsscenario

                Comment


                • #9
                  No, I edited them so that you osted 2 in a row, rather than 3, which has been done not allowed since about the 7th RC, with the exception of Illu, when answering things, if needs be. Otherwise we end up with everyone doing everything in an individual post, so posting 5 or 6 posts at a time
                  Smile
                  For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                  But he would think of something

                  "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Edited by Drogue:


                    I edited this post for no apparent reason. Honest. I edited this. The edit message is wrong, I, Drogue, edited this. No, Illuminatus did not write this. I am telling you, I edited it for no reason, just to abuse my mod powers. Why don't you believe me?

                    My evil mod abuse is deleting all of GeoModder's posts right now! Soon I shall be the greatest alcoholic ever! Glory to me!
                    Last edited by Illuminatus; September 17, 2004, 09:13.
                    SMAC/X FAQ | Chiron Archives
                    The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --G.B.Shaw

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Clearly that is a lie, there is no edited message.
                      Smile
                      For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                      But he would think of something

                      "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        144? Outrageous.
                        Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Clearly
                          Smile
                          For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                          But he would think of something

                          "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            /me is about to leave work for the last time

                            /me is happy

                            /me downs his Hive Mind Stuff, and orders another (few)

                            Life is good
                            Smile
                            For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                            But he would think of something

                            "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Ah crap.

                              I should have known following you guys around would be a bad idea.

                              Comment

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