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  • Pholus Lunar Newscast #2 - Critical Communication Package Withheld for Ransom




    Headlines: Critical communication package withheld for ransom
    Pholus Lunar Newscast #2

    Critical Communication Package Withheld for Ransom
    Difficulties in dispatching initial military commands and production orders were felt over all factions that landed on Chiron. Critical communication package was needed from the CMN groups that inadvertently landed themselves at the Pholus. Demands for quick release of the CCP skyrocketed when it turned out that the CMNs were holding it claiming investigation of serious issues was unavoidable. “I'm not touching it with a 10 foot pole”, claimed Narrator Kody, referring to the CCP. Rumours had that the statement was actually an attempted cover up for a mistake that the CMN group made. Kody denied all responsibilities and implied that Method was the one to be blamed. Tired of being tied up by the CCP, the Spartans is reported to have started building its own command centre based upon an entirely new and independent communication system.

    It was reported that the CCP was released later today, exceeding many people’s expectation. This had mysteriously coincided with another unrelated report about a 10 ec shortfall that was discovered from the Morgan’s faction financial reserve. CEO Chaunk had dismissed any possible connections between these two separate incidents. “Hush”, he responded to the questioner, “... Here'$ $omething you might like to $hare with a few of the other$...”.

    It was expected that all operations would go smoothly after the initial hiccups.


    Puppy found in Old Escape Pod Debris


    The PLO (Pholus Lunar Outpost) was recently dismantling the old escape pod for spare components and supplies. Unexpectedly a puppy was found in one of the unused cryostasis pods. When the cryostasis pod was taken back to base the staff unexpectedly found that somehow the puppy had survived.

    Of course everyone took an instant liking to the adorable little scamp especially when he showed his ability to climb almost anything. This extraordinary ability has earnt him the name xenopuppy. He's very smart and affectionate and Kody has offered to take care of him. Honghu reports that morale has risen to an all time high at the PLO and xenopuppy seems to be the centre of attention for any of the bored staff at the base.

    In an unofficial ceremony xenopuppy was named the mascot for the Pholus Lunar colony.


    Prominent Mod Member Involved in Criminal Investigation
    A high-flying Angel was found to be the subject of attempted smouldering. Investigators claimed that all evidences pointed to the famous former ship counsellor HongHu. Despite her personal friend Kody’s suggestion of pleading temporary insanity, HongHu denied all charges flat out. “I am not aware of doing that.” She testified. Experts pointed out that the former ship counsellor is suffering from a clear case of MPS. “MPS, not Miss Purple Shoes”, a psychologist explained, “is a short hand for Multiple Personality Syndrome.” It is speculated that Ms HongHu has two alternative personalities, or “alters”, that were developed through the course of her being the ship counsellor, and as a result of her deep involvement and studying of various people’s subconscious world, “the dark side of people’s minds”, using her own words. One of HongHu’s alter is named “Lost”, the other is called “The Princess”. Speculations had that one of her alters committed the crime without HongHu’s consent, nor her acknowledgement. Suspecting people disapprove the conjecture stating that the action did not fit the personality profile of either Lost or The Princess. Some believed that HongHu was using the MPS as an excuse to evade justice.

    The case is deemed to cause planetary wide attention. Unidentified inside source says that it is likely that the case would be dismissed and Ms HongHu would be recommended to group treatment and self treatment targeting the MPS. “It does bring a new insight into the statement of ‘The Princess is Lost’”, an onlooker commented.


    Roleplay Advances
    Now that the turn players and chain of command in the various factions has been decided. Preparations for inter-factional roleplay have begun. The two new events that are being proposed are the first ACDGIII debating event and the inter-factional roleplay story. What is needed now is participations for these events.

    Inter-factional Debating
    The Inter-factional Debating Teams will work by teams. It will be fairly relaxed in nature and will be judged by the CMNs. It will be judged according to the quality of the arguments and the delivery that means it’s far more likely for a team to win if they make good points, and organise their overall arguments and rebuttals into something posts that are easy to understand and entertaining. The setup will be similar to the debates that occurred in ACDGII.
    Hive vs University & Drones - nervestapling is perfectly safe.
    Cycon vs Pirates - cycon's parrots are better than pirate's parrots

    Initial suggestions for debating topics can be made in the Roleplaying thread. If there are several topics put forth the topics will be polled.

    It is important for each interested team to put together a core debating team. This is required so that teams without interested people can be excluded from the debating allocations. The initial debating teams are only needed for a team to qualify in the debates. So a team member who didn’t initially sign up for the debate can contribute if his or her team is okay with that.

    It is expected that 1 week will be given to organisation of a debate, 1 week for the teams to make their arguments and a few days for judges to decide the winner. The period between successive debates will decided according to activity and demand, at this time it is expected that a debate will only occur once every month.

    Inter-factional IC story
    The Inter-factional IC story is something that hasn’t been tried before. It’s something like a choose your own adventure only with multiple people and you write the story segments. I hope it will be fairly informal and mistakes in plot, grammar or spelling will mostly be forgiven.

    The story won’t follow exactly what is happening in the gameplay although participations can reference things that are happening in their faction or have happened in other factions if they wish. However, to prevent secret information being leaked story segments should not concentrate too much on the issues that are not common knowledge outside their faction.

    Each faction will have their own viewpoint on the story, only the CMNs will have the full picture of what is going on over the full story. The narrator’s job is to guide the various threads and allow for the story threads of various factions to overlap and interact with each other. This will be interesting as you won’t have the full picture so while you’re writing you are also trying to explore the events in the other story threads.

    When you contribute a story segment you can label the story with the factions that are allowed to see it. If you do so the factions you have labelled will get a copy in their story thread and will be able to react to it either by writing a story segment that you can see, or by writing a private story segment where events happen that you will only find out later. Story segments without labels will be assumed that you don’t want other factions to find out. This means you can decide what events or information in your story are top secret easter eggs that other factions have to find out the hard way.

    An example of an IC story is the Hive IC story, which was written during ACDGII. The difference is that the Hive IC story was only for one faction.

    First, for this to get off the ground a few people have to be interested in contributing. If nobody in a faction is willing to contribute the faction needs to request to be included to have the public parts of the story posted to their forum. This is so factions don’t end up with a story thread that they’re not interested in contributing to and not interested in reading.

    To announce whether you are interested in contributing you can either private message me or post to the Roleplaying thread. Factions that are interested in reading the story as it unfolds can also post their interest in the Roleplaying thread.

    Previous Issue
    Quote of the day: "All roads lead to Yang."


    Spore launcher Pornography Scandal

    In a bizarre sex scandal Provost Zakharov of the University was charged with taking pictures of underage phallic looking spore launchers. He claims the he was conducting research into the range of pre-boil age spore launchers citing the range being very important for military countermeasures. When accused for exploitation of minors, Zakharov replied that mature spore launchers are difficult to catch.

    Nonetheless, a large crowd of 4 vigilantes have converged on Zakharov’s research labs with banners such as “exploitation of native life is cruel”, and “think of the childrenspore launchers”. Their leader says that exploitation of underage spore launchers is an under addressed problem and young native life should have all the rights that we provide to our own children. They fully expect their movement to grow 25% in size by next week as a 5th person has expressed interest in joining the crusade.

    The main issue that Zakharov is having with the police is that he posted the pictures on a website under the web address www.babylaunchersexposed.net. Zakharov refused to comment on what possessed him to choose that suggestive name. The police who have been keeping tabs on the movements of sex deviants on the network nodes recently discovered a huge amount of network traffic visiting that particular site and several x rated sites have put up links to the pictures. Most damning of all is the documentary movie that describes and shows in slow motion the firing of a pre-boil spore launcher.

    The police are at loss of what to do as native life exploitation is not covered in criminal law. It is fully expected that new laws will need to be made to cover the unique circumstances that can occur on Chiron.

    In related news the Pholus Lunar Outpost has discovered that someone in the staff has visited Zakharov’s controversial site and downloaded the movie. This was done through a public terminal so the perpetrator was unable to be caught.


    Resources Results from Pod Pops
    A recent question was raised over the outcome of special resources that could be obtained from by the survey pods from the Unity. To address the issue a detailed topological survey was conducted on the planet surface by the technologically advanced Pholus Lunar Outpost (actually found this out during my time at the Hive). It was found that there was a pattern to the available resources hidden on the planet and this pattern is independent of resources that are already visible on planet surface. The resource pattern was recently released to public scrutiny after the second team of scientists at the Pholus Lunar Outpost verified that they had achieved the same results.




    Current Game Settings?
    After confusion over the demographical social structure of the world, the Pholus Lunar Colony releases its analysis. All other settings default.

    + Higher Goal: Yes
    + Total War: Yes
    + Peace in Our Time: Yes
    + Mine, All Mine: Yes
    - One for all: No
    + Do or Die: Yes
    + Look First: Yes
    - Tech Stagation: No
    - Spoils of War: No
    - Blind Research: No
    - Intense Rivalry: No
    + No Unity Survey: Yes
    - No Unity Scattering: No
    - Bell Curve: No
    - Time Warp: No
    - Iron Man: No
    - Randomize faction leader personalities: No
    - Randomize faction leader social agendas: No


    Opinion: Who's your favourite CMN?
    Swords are locked on the Lunar Outpost over the theoretical situation of running out of air. The Kody says as Communication Officer without him the outpost wouldn’t have contact with the outside world. Honghu says everyone would go insane being stuck together with only 20 people in a small dome. Method claims that someone will be needed to navigate the ship when we eventually do transport off the moon. Drogue claimed that people should be thrown out by rank in ascending order. After several hours of discussion it was decided that a popularity contest should be run to rate the officers according to likeability. Honghu says she expects to easily win the contest as she is female.
    Vote in Poll
    See Votes


    Statistics: Turn 2102 Power Charts

    The second game turn is in and it appears that Hive is a strong position followed by University and then the Data Angels. If further commentary is wanted start a poll to unrestrict commentary on certain issues by the CMNs and achieve two thirds support for it to be passed.


    In Other News
    • Enigma recently commented "No bloody way you can find a new quote every day". Honghu sets out to prove Enigma is wrong
    • Drogue was heard commenting, "I sincerely hope that's a superior nudist, rather than a 'senior' nudist". Rumour circulates like mad over his comment
    • Xenopuppy climbs number 3 transmission tower. Bets are being laid over whether he can climb the PLO main flagpole
    • Pholus Lunar Outpost listed as the most prestigious place on the moon
    • Secret talks occur between Nwabudike Morgan and PLN discussing a pair of upcoming lawsuits that have been filed by Morgan Industries
    • Pholus Lunar Outposts begins construction of planet busters as lawsuit deterrents after transmissions were intercepted from Morganlink Magazine

    Pholus Lunar Classifieds

    Data Angels faction is looking for more single female computer hackers to stimulate pop boom.
    Crazy Dave's Laser guns are going for sale at only 3 ECs each , get them now before they disappear!
    Missing persons: One of our comrades, Mellian has gone missing, If she strays into any of your forums send her back to the Data Angels.

    Alpha to tanago foxtrot base nest eagle mother bird omgea over.
    Are you lonely, have something to advertise, or want to sneak a secret message back to base. Pholus Lunar Classifieds is now selling advertising space at only 0.01ECs per character. Click here to place your ad now.

    Do you have an article you would like to see published in the Pholus Lunar Newscast? Get paid half an EC for your article today, submit here.

    Editor: Spam Puppy of the Pholus Lunar Newscast

    22
    Buster
    4.55%
    1
    Drogue
    4.55%
    1
    Method
    4.55%
    1
    Kody
    45.45%
    10
    Honghu
    22.73%
    5
    Xenobanana!
    4.55%
    1
    Xenopuppy
    4.55%
    1
    Xenobrew
    0.00%
    0
    Light, Fluffy Xenopancakes
    9.09%
    2

  • #2
    Now a word from our sponsor.




    Resources and Early Base Placement
    Many people say that the placement of the first six bases is the most important. This is because when you’re starting out you don’t have many resources to work with so every little bit counts. One of the main mistakes is thinking of maximum output. Rather you need to think of output overtime. It may be that you get more resources in the long run if you move the colony pod 3 extra squares, but if you consider the resources you missed out on during those 3 turns which is cumulative you may have lost out on more. For this article I want to concentrate on a specific subset of a starting game situation, the opening gambit of placing a base on top of a special resource.

    As everyone knows moving early colony pods more squares to get a perfect base site may not be as useful as immediately planting a base, however sometimes it is better to move a colony pod rather than immediately planting a base. Most people are confused on when to place a base immediately or when to move the colony pod. I intend to add a few considerations with respect to situations where it may be useful to move a colony pod a little bit further to plant on a resource bonus.

    * General
    Some specific considerations for rivers, nut specials, mineral specials, and energy specials will be outlined in their own separate sections.

    Pros:
    Placing a base on top of a special bonus can be useful in the early game as you can get more resources. In particular it should be done when you have multiple useful squares you want to use, but are unable to use do to lack of available terraforming or workers. If you are able to use a resource immediately then there is no point in moving the base to plant on the resource special.

    Situations where it may help is if the square in question is arid or flat. You hence gain more resources working another square and planting a base on that square using the resource directly. The other situation in the very first few turns when there are multiple useful squares that are available but you are unable to harvest until several years down the track when your base grows. If you plant on a resource special you will get a huge boost in the first decade.

    Cons:
    The main problem with planting a base on a special is the additional time it takes moving the colony there. You basically have to decide whether the lost resources from moving your colony pod further is worth the extra resources you get from using more of the good resources available.

    Sometimes moving colony pods further apart is good as clumping the first few bases will delay future base planting. This is because the older bases will not have any good base sites to plant their colony pods if the initial bases are planted in a clump. This strategy was seen used by the Drones in ACDGII where they strung their first three bases in a string and this allowed their next colony pods to plant much faster as they didn’t have to move colony pods from core bases to the frontier.

    Another consideration is if it interferences with borehole placement, this is more a later game consideration and should only start affecting your decisions when you’re past IA and possibly on the way to building boreholes.

    If you have only one available special resource to use for a base or will soon be able to use the square due to crawlers or workers or another base, sometimes it’s better not to plant a base on it (unless not planting requires more travel time). This is because having it available means flexibility, you can crawl or work that energy/minerals/nutrients to another base that needs that resource more. This applies too if you have an arid special resource, and you have terraformers nearby that will be able to forest it fairly quickly.

    Placing the base on a special resource is only useful when you have multiple squares available and will be unable to use all the good squares in the near future.

    * Nutrient bonuses
    Pros:
    Placing a base on a nutrient bonus can be useful especially for the first 4 bases as it allows the bases to grow faster. The new population as well as giving you the option of a faster colony pod also provides a worker that if placed on a rolling square will give at least 1 more mineral to your production. When you’re overall production is 3 for that base, this is a 33% industry bonus to that base.

    For example if you have a monolith and a nutrient bonus then by placing the colony pod on the nutrient bonus and working the monolith you are able to get 2 more nutrient during the first couple of years and you grow 2 times faster than if you hadn’t.

    I’ve noticed that in a no unity pod map it is especially useful to try and use your first 10 minerals for construction of a colony pod. Usually military units are produced first as the base doesn’t grow fast enough and the military units can be used for exploration and pod popping. By placing a base on a nutrient bonus the first 10 minerals can be used directly in construction of the colony pod. Furthermore without unity pods military units do not pay themselves back as much as one of their main purposes in the early game is to pop pods. Military units other uses are to explore terrain so you can plan your base sites and to meet other factions so you can trade, however you won’t need as many units as the popping of unity pods usually takes the bulk of military time.

    Cons:
    One of the problems with having the base planted on the nutrient bonus is once the base grows you need drone control. This can offset the additional industry you would have received from having the extra worker. If you hadn’t planted the base on the nutrient bonus you could have sent the minerals to a different base that is more suited to handling the extra population. If it was your first base in the mid-early game you will find your starting base will have grown to size three and construction of a colony pod is not as useful as the frontier is very far away. Generally this effect is offset by having a more advanced empire from the earlier sped up growth.

    Once condensers come around you get 1 more nutrient if you condenser the nut bonuses. The main thing I like about condenser nut bonuses is they give 7 nutrients that can be crawled. This is highly useful for growing your population as if you are carefully planning your empire you will find that it is better to funnel the 7 nutrients according to need. Consequently, after the first few bases are planted and terraformers are available I would avoid planting bases on nutrient bonuses.

    * Mineral Bonus
    First look at the general section for whether you want to plant a base on a mineral bonus. The finer details that are of lesser importance will be discussed below.

    Pros:
    Planting a base on a mineral bonus can be useful if you want to build terraformers or additional units other than a colony pod in the base. Again like the nut bonus it’s about rebalancing things, so that you can finish the colony pod as soon as it grows. I find that by first building a unit or two often you may delay your initial construction of your colony pod due to not gathering up enough minerals. This is where a mineral bonus can help.

    Cons:
    Not planting a base on a mineral bonus can assist in industry development later as one technique of getting turn advantage and extra stockpile energy is to shuffle mineral resources to the productions that are near completion. Having a mineral bonus not under a base helps with this strategy. This assumes you are up to the micromanagement.

    Some special cases where you wouldn’t want to plant a base on a mineral bonus have to do with mineral caps and mineral multipliers.

    If the mineral bonus is on the garland cater, mount planet, or canyon then I feel the mineral multiplier of the mine on that mineral bonus would be more worthwhile as it can give 6 minerals (rocky mineral offcourse always mine). With a rolling mineral bonus it only gives a 5 minerals +1 over a forest while requiring too much terraforming, with flat there’s no mineral benefit at all as the square has 4 either way. So with rolling or flat mineral bonuses in the early game it’s mainly the flexibility issue that will stop you from planting a base on the mineral bonus.

    A special case is if the elevation of the square allows for boreholes. If you get the WP and are unlikely to get ecological engineering soon by planting a borehole on a mineral bonus you can bypass the mineral restriction. However, those are quite a few ifs.

    * Energy Bonus
    First look at the general section for whether you want to plant a base on an energy bonus. The finer details that are of lesser importance will be discussed below.

    Pros:
    Putting a base on an energy bonus gives you faster tech a better ability to rush your productions. Generally there’s very little stopping you from planting your base on an energy bonus in the early game as most of the other useful effects occur in the mid-game. The main reason being terraforming doesn’t multiply the energy bonus unlike minerals and nutrients.

    Cons:
    The best thing about an energy bonus is that it un-restricts energy production. So if an energy bonus is high up you can gain the full energy from a solar panel. Mainly think 2000m and upwards. Or if you have the WP and are not going to get environmental economics anytime soon, the energy bonus can uncap it.

    Boreholes normally come only 1 tech before environmental economics and you’ll probably research that tech before you get the borehole in place. Having an energy bonus under a base or under a worked borehole gives the same energy. Generally people won’t crawl boreholes, and usually do so in the late game when they have a super science city.

    Consequently the problems with planting a base on an energy bonus aren’t very great.

    * Rivers
    Rivers are one of the best places to plant a base on. This isn’t so much because of the +1 energy although that does help. The main reason is the free road like effect that assists with expansion. This is a very big effect during the early game. Furthermore, once terraforming is being done the city helps to bridge the river saving an extra turn in terraforming time as rivers require one extra turn to road. One extra terraforming turn is a big help in the early game I’ve found. If you’re managing your terraforming well can be like getting 0.5 extra resource every turn as your terraforming is 1 more turn advanced.

    Aside from the issues covered in the general section rivers have no special problems.

    Summary
    To summarise the important thing to think of for base placement on special resources is if you're going to waste a special resource for a significant amount of time in the early game. If so then plant a base on it so you can use it faster. Later when you have built more bases and you can use new special resources you find fairly easily. You may decide to not always to plant the base on it, because you are thinking further into the future on how to best use it.


    Literature Amusement - Life in another dimension
    How the Glory of War Stole the Peace Deal
    By the Glory of War

    Every Stormian
    Down in Estonia
    Liked their peace deal a lot...

    But the Warmongers,
    Who lived just West of Estonia,
    Did NOT!

    The Warmongers hated Peace Deals! The whole peaceful posting!
    No, they all liked their wars, and War Chickens for Roasting.
    It could be that their heads weren't screwed on quite right.
    It could be, perhaps, that their armor was too tight.
    But I think that the most likely reason to date
    May have been that their stomachs lacked food on their plate.

    But,
    Whatever the reason,
    Whether armor or tummy,
    They went riding for chicken, it looking quite yummy,
    Staring out from their hills with rumbling belly
    At the plump clucking War Chickens and Stormian jelly.
    For they knew that the enemy shared similar vices:
    Honor, Pride, original herbs and spices.

    And they've called for a meeting!" Aggie proclaimed with a grin.
    "Claiming a wish to ally, to help us to win!"
    Then he growled with a curse mocking this greeting,
    "I MUST find a poor soul, perhaps two, to attend to this meeting!"
    For, the meeting, he knew...

    ...All those attending, Stormians or not
    Would be stuck in the chatroom. Patiently awaiting to talk.
    And then! Oh, the Talk! Oh, the Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk!
    That's one thing he hated! The TALK! TALK! TALK! TALK!

    Then the Stormians, and Warmongers alike, would sit down to hash.
    And they'd hash! And they'd hash!
    And they'd HASH! HASH! HASH! HASH!
    They would start on the border, and who got the west or the east!
    A concept that he knew some warmongers would not stand for, at least!

    And THEN
    They'd do something most appalling of all!
    All Stormians present, or active at all
    Would stand firm in their stance, no sign of bowing.
    They'd stand so steadfast. "Roleplay must live" they'ld be vowing!

    They'd vow! And they'd vow!
    AND they'd VOW! VOW! VOW! VOW!
    And the more King Aggie thought of the Stormian-Roleplay-Vow.
    The more that he thought, "Why is this happening now?
    "Why twas not long ago we gave them a chance or two!
    I MUST send someone to keep their cool
    ...But WHO?"

    Then he got an idea!
    An awful idea!
    KING AGGIE
    GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

    "I know just who to send!" King Aggie grinned making for his PM box.
    And he made a quick message to Master Zen and to 'dOx.
    And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Warmonger team!
    "With UnOrthOdOx and Zen, what info we could ream!"

    "I'll make up the outline..."
    UnO exclaimed with some pride.
    Believing in his heart, on organization all would ride.
    And they sat there for hours....
    when UnOrthOdOx finally said,
    "Can we get to a point, I need to get to bed!"
    For several hours he sat, digesting all that he read
    Where GS took hours, UnO took five minutes instead.

    THEN
    With the chat all finished
    The proposals wrote up
    The Warmongers went home
    And they slapped a vote up.

    Then Ghengis cried out
    "I can't live with this junk!
    Just look over at Roleplay,
    All Spain smells like skunk!"

    It was outside of Pamplona, down in some trees
    GS forces had gathered, responding to Spain's pleas
    But soon ND forces ran down and slaughtered with ease.
    "Look down on all those chickens" Old King Aggie spat
    "They're ripe for the plucking, we can't miss on that."

    The warmongers flew from the Alamo with glee.
    And joined in with ND in the mass killing spree.
    They fought possessed, spurred on with hunger pain,
    and soon the WarChickens were falling like rain.
    Donegeal looked over the carnage, he knew what to do.
    "These Chickens," he grinned, "Will be just great in a stew!"

    They felt not but respect, as the War Chickens they plucked.
    GS had fought hard, their choice of allies just sucked!
    Nuggets! And Stews! Ratatouille! Buffalo Wings!
    They ate Curry! Marsalla! Dijon! a la King!
    And they stuffed all their faces. It all tasting quite yummy.
    And they went to bed that night, each one with a full tummy!

    And Darekill went out to the forum, with a poem he wrote.
    He posted it up, not of ND meaning to gloat.
    But OPD was watching and as quick as a flash.
    "Why" he replied "do you guys keep posting this trash!"

    This angered UnOrthOdOx, enough to make his lips quiver.
    "Oh GS!" He went and shouted, "Go cry me a River!"

    And GS gathered 'round OPD, perhaps some thought it a sport
    And soon sides were exchanging each in fiery retort.
    As the forum errupted for all out there to see!
    It gained the attention of all, even the one known as NYE.

    And both sides lobbed volleys by those who were bitter
    Or perhaps from a few not wanting to be dubbed as a quitter.
    Asleepatthewheel attempted to get some sanity back,
    As he called out for peace and to pass the prozac.

    But, you know, that old UnO was just an ornery old grouch
    “Removing GS is my quest” he did vouch
    "I’m tired of them, as they save whereitsat’s life”
    "It’s even come to a point where they’ve pissed off my wife.”
    "I made them an offer I felt fair not long ago.”
    "I wonder if it’s looking better to them yet, or no?"

    And not many seemed to care for this recent upheaval
    Nor of UnOrthOdOx or of his portrayal of evil.
    In the end what they thought he could care less,
    And only the slightest remorse did he feel for starting this mess!

    To the game all minds turned
    The situations to assess.
    And the Glory of War sought at last to progress.
    And the fled from the Alamo praying to the RNG for success.

    And they found forces of GS
    All camped out on a hill
    They went into the fight, hoping for more chickens to grill.

    Then
    They enjoyed once again
    A feast of chickens and jelly

    And they smiled
    And they laughed
    Once again with food in their belly!

    It was back on the forum...
    The old bastard spoke
    MrWhereItsAt, still in hiding
    and he posted a joke,
    A plea to “save roleplay! The Pope! And the squid!
    The stench! And even that woman with beard! Let none forbid!”

    And there in the forum, the one that is secret,
    Ennet rode in wearing his allecret.
    Sounding quite eloquent with his rhymes and his prose.
    And Donegeal there a suggestion did propose
    And Ennet went to the public with a fine dissertation
    And posted it up before every nation
    Then waited to see whether met with contempt or elation.

    "Oh brother," grumbled UnO,
    with a grimace and a growl.
    ”As soon as they see it all of GS will cry foul.”
    And he watched and he waited, looking for any reply.
    That would in some way wrong doing imply...

    But the replies weren’t mocking!
    Why, they sounded quite pleasant!
    It couldn't be so!
    But it WAS, at least from those present!

    He stared down at Estonia!
    Old UnO popped his eyes!
    Then he shook!
    What he saw was a shocking surprise!

    Every Stormian down in Estonia, the short and the grown,
    at least all of those who made themselves known
    They didn’t seem to angry it seemed!
    They laughed!
    And it appeared that they actually sat down for a draft!

    And old ‘dOx, with his brows furrowed in a row,
    Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
    I don’t see complaints! I don’t see any flames!
    "They aren’t so much as calling out names!"
    And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.
    Then Old UnO thought of his tattered rapport,
    "Maybe this forum," he thought, "I don’t need to ignore.
    "Maybe...perhaps...I just got a bit too grumpy before!"

    From whence would this poem come...?
    Well...in GoW they say
    That UnO’s bottled anger,
    just seemed to melt right away!
    And when he saw all the others delight,
    He locked himself in the private forum to write.
    Inspired by the likes of WhereItsAt and of Ennet!
    that he...

    ...HE HIMSELF...!
    UnOrthOdOx sat down to pen it!
    Author: UnOrthOdOx




    Do you have an article you would like to see published in the Pholus Lunar Newscast? Get paid half an EC for your article today, submit here.

    Editor: Spam Puppy of the Pholus Lunar Newscast

    Comment


    • #3
      /me notices lack of Xenobanana! option *

      /me pokes the poll...

      Comment


      • #4
        Hehehe, remember we're officially roleplaying the bridge crew that crashed on the moon.

        Honghu wrote a headline article and a few of the others ones too.

        Comment


        • #5
          The police are at loss of what to do as native life exploitation is not covered in criminal law.
          Don't worry they haven't passed laws for underage native life yet.

          Comment


          • #6
            ...In a related incident, the unrestricted files of Preboil Spore Launchers have been procreated by the Data Angels in a bid to secure free flow of information.

            "It was easy." Agent Nova claimed.
            "As soon as 3 factions had the data, there was so much transfer that we simply picked it up for ourselves."
            When asked what other factions had the data, Agent Nova replied "Classified".

            Some untitled files were later that day sold to Morgan Industries and the Gaian Republic.

            Comment


            • #7
              OMFG... what a great newspaper!
              Bunnies!
              Welcome to the DBTSverse!
              God, Allah, boedha, siva, the stars, tealeaves and the palm of you hand. If you are so desperately looking for something to believe in GO FIND A MIRROR
              'Space05us is just a stupid nice guy' - Space05us

              Comment


              • #8
                Gaian Union is disgusted by reports of this pornography. Luckly, our laws protect all forms of native life. Gaian Union shall take this example as an argument for adopting Gaian principles into all human factions.
                SMAC/X FAQ | Chiron Archives
                The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --G.B.Shaw

                Comment


                • #9
                  For Xenotarian reasons, the Data Angels are of the opinion that the XenoPuppy must be the last creature being flung in space in case of oxygen shortage on Pholus Outpost. This conclusion is open for debate in case one of the other inhabitants of the Outpost can prove he/she is more fluffy...
                  He who knows others is wise.
                  He who knows himself is enlightened.
                  -- Lao Tsu

                  SMAC(X) Marsscenario

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If the Xenopuppy is the last, then who's the first?

                    /me notices everybody is staring at him *


                    oh...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Method
                      If the Xenopuppy is the last, then who's the first?

                      * Method notices everybody is staring at him *


                      oh...
                      Well strictly speaking buster's work is finished, and so err... you know...
                      Play hangman.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        /me has a better idea
                        /me looks at Drogue

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          But then we have nobody left to whip you, Enigma...
                          He who knows others is wise.
                          He who knows himself is enlightened.
                          -- Lao Tsu

                          SMAC(X) Marsscenario

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            So tempting to use my special powers on the poll

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Kody still lives with his parents FFS.
                              If he turns out to be the most favoured Mod,
                              then I demand a repoll!

                              Comment

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