Recreation Commons – Thirteenth Floor: The Self Aware CryoBar

[Illuminatus]

narrator voice
Space. The final frontier. Well not exactly the final frontier since latest fork on superstring theory shows that there might be alternate dimensions…
*whack*
*New narator voice
Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Unity II, on it’s continuing mission to explore strange new worlds, to kill the captain whenever they reach habitable planets and to mutiny into different factions which then race to the planet and try to win control.
*whack*
*star trek music theme*



*still the same music theme*





*40 years later the same music theme is still playing and ship is still travelling through space*

ATTENTION. REACHING HIGH ORBIT OVER DESTINATION PLANET. INITIATE CRYOAWAKENING OF NECCESARY CREW….

CREW IN CRYOPOD ONE OUT OF CRYOSTASIS….

CREW IN CRYOPOD TWO OUT OF CRYOSTASIS…

CREW IN CRYOPOD THREE OUT OF CRYOSTASIS…

CREW IN CRYOPOD FOUR OUT OF CRYOSTASIS….

CHECKING CREW LIST…

ALL MEMBERS OF THE CREW ALIVE….

TASSADARS FLUNG OUT TO SPACE ACCORDING TO CAPTAIN’S PRELAUNCH ORDERS…..

INITIATE SELFAWARE CRYOBAR….

CRYOBAR OPERATIONAL…..

STABLE ORBIT REACHED….

CHECKING SENSORS…..

CHECKING SUPPORT SHIPS...

SUPPORT SHIPS ACTIVE AND RESPONDING...

PLANET IDENTIFIED AS MANIFOLD FOUR ACCORDING TO PROGENITOR DATABANKS

ANALYSIS COMPLETED – ECOSYSTEM MATCHES THAT OF CHIRON

CHECKING SURROUNDING SPACE

SECTOR 1 OKAY

SECTOR 2 OKAY

SECTOR 3 OKAY

WARNING! METEOR SHOWER DETECTED IN SECTOR 4!

IMPACT ON UNITY IMMINENT….

ADVISE CHANGE OF ORBIT….

REINITIATING MANUEVER THRUSTERS….

FAILURE….

RETRY….

FAILURE….

AUXILARY MOTORS BEING REINITIALISED….

FAILURE…

RETRY….

FAILURE…

CHECKING GENERAL MOTOR STATUS….

DECCELERATION ROCKETS DEPLETED OF FUEL….

PRIMARY ENGINES OFFLINE….

SECONDARY ENGINES OFFLINE….

MANUEVER ENGINES OFFLINE…

AUXILARY ENGINES OFFLINE:…

CAUSE OF MALFUNCTION: This engine has executed an invalid operation and it will be termianted. If this problem persists, contact the local vendor.

INITIATING SELFREPAIR….

ASISTANCE FROM CREW REQUIRED….

CONTACTING CAPTAIN….

CAPTAIN IS DEAD…..

*Captain’s voice:
Hey! I am not dead.

*shredder pistol shot is heard*
Whew! That missed me.

*multiple shredder pistol shots are heard*

That missed me too. I am so lucky.

*heavy artillery sounds, multiple shots, detonations, energy buzzes and projectile impacts are heard*

Luckly, that just scratched me!
Hey, why are you carrying that metal bar!
Wait, wait.. ahhhh!
*WHACK*

CAPTAIN IS DEAD…..

CREW GOING TO SELFAWARE CRYOBAR…

ANALYSIS: IF CREWMEMBERS DO NOT ASSIST THE REPAIRS THERE IS A 99.50473467 PRECENT PROBABILITY THAT SHIP WILL BE HIT BY METEOR RAIN, DESTROYED, CREW WILL REBEL AND SPLIT INTO DIFFERENT FACTIONS AND ALL TECHNOLOGICAL KNOWLEDGE WILL BE LOST.

ALSO THERE IS PROBABILITY OF 99.99999999 PERCENT THAT CREW WILL JUST SIT IN SELFAWARE CRYOBAR AND DRINK THE STOCK DUE TO FACT THAT ALL DRINKS ARE FREE

REPORT END.//657.568kbN7s

[Snowflake]

Great opennings obs. Shouldn't the thread title include a number of floors Spheres according to our tradition? It'll be nice when people come back later they can tell which rec commons thread is earlier than which, etc ...

[Illuminatus]

Well, how would I call it? This is not exactly the floor, and sphere sounds strange. Perhaps stage 13? And they can see by post dates which rec commons is earlier . I forgot, there is no bartender here, since the bar is self-aware.

[Snowflake]

How about dimensions?

I know we can always look at the dates. It's just easier. You know when you talks about them in the community forum, it's easier to say "look at the rec commons 13th floor. The spamming is astounding." instead of "look at the rec commons that were posted on 6/23/05" etc.

[Illuminatus]

Dimensions? For a cryobar. Do we transcend reality on each floor?

[Illuminatus]

Originally posted by HongHu
You know when you talks about them in the community forum, it's easier to say "look at the rec commons 13th floor. The spamming is astounding."

*Voice - crewmember HongHu is now required to pay for any drinks she requests*

[Method]

Nice intro and all that.

/me hops behind the bar and peeks into the ISR *
Nice. Just as I remember it.

I'll have twelve cases of Xenobrew, a Xenobanana split, and a plate of light, fluffy xenopancakes.

[Illuminatus]

*Robot delivers twelve fluffy pancakes, a xenobanana and a case of Tassadar's photos to Method*
I am sorry but it seems that Cryobar is either experiencing problems or has a sense of humour.

[Snowflake]

Hey I was merely giving out some examples. This self awareness script really needs to be improved.

*Voice - crewmember HongHu is now required to pay doubles for any drinks she requests.*

OMG!

/me runs out of the door.

[Edit] Now you see edit remarks obs.

[Illuminatus]

I love this Cryobar. BTW why do I not see any remarks about editing in your posts HH?

[Method]

Stupid robot.

/me hops over the bar and wanders into the ISR to retrieve the requested items himself *

[Illuminatus]

*Stasis field initialized around Method.*

[conmcb25]

Re: Recreation Commons: The Self Aware CryoBar

Originally posted by obstructor
TASSADARS FLUNG OUT TO SPACE ACCORDING TO CAPTAIN’S PRELAUNCH ORDERS…..

Yea!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by obstructor
ALSO THERE IS PROBABILITY OF 99.99999999 PERCENT THAT CREW WILL JUST SIT IN SELFAWARE CRYOBAR AND DRINK THE STOCK DUE TO FACT THAT ALL DRINKS ARE FREE

Yea again especially the free drinks!

Great intro Obstructor!

Ill take some Xenobrew with Xenowhiskey shooters :yum:

[Illuminatus]

*requested drinks materialize on con's table*

[Method]

Originally posted by obstructor
*Stasis field initialized around Method.*

What the...

Hey! Don't make me summon the GMTLFITRCBRs! I'll do it! Don't think I wont!