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  • CNN Issue 14

    Chironian News Network Issue 14



    War With Yang to Continue
    By GeneralTacticus



    After the constitutionally mandated referendum (which passed by a bare majority) and a snap vote by three of our five Supreme Court Justices, the government of the UN announced that the war with the Hive would go on. The provisional truce with Yang was abrogated and the military build-up is to continue. Opposition the war going on was led mainly by former DFA Voltaire, on the grounds that it was not worth the price.

    Naval Clash Between Hive and UN
    By GeneralTacticus



    The Directorate of Peacekeeping Operations sadly announced today that in the course of “Operation Grab-bag”, in which a UN probe foil successfully stole Hive files on Silksteel Alloys, the warship serving as escort for our brave probe operatives was engaged and sunk by a Hive ship shortly after the probe team had escaped. All hands are believed lost or captured, although fortunately both the probes and the files returned to us unscathed.

    Four New Technologies Discovered
    By GeneralTacticus



    In what appears to be a factional record, over the last 7 years the UN obtained no less than four new technologies – three produced in our labs, and the fourth (Silksteel Alloys) stolen from the Hive networks by our probe teams. The main thrust of our research was military or military related, with the development of Organic Superlubricant, Mind-Machine Interface and Retroviral Engineering (see below for the reaction to the last two), and the theft of Silksteel Alloys. Our labs are currently attempting to produce ‘Monopole Magnets’, which will allow for the construction of a faction-wide network of ‘magtubes’, expected to revolutionise transportation technology.

    Demonstrations in Antioch over New Developments in Science
    By GeneralTacticus



    Antioch has always been renowned as one of the few remaining strongholds of Christianity outside the territory of The Lord’s Believers, but up until now this has rarely been considered a problem by the base security forces – quite the opposite, in fact. This, however, has changed dramatically over the last few days, as a series of protests and a general strike paralysed the base for some time. The leaders of this semi-uprising cited recent research on Retroviral Engineering and cybernetics as their reasons for protesting, saying that “We will not give up our struggle until we can be certain that these godless monstrosities will not be used anywhere with Antioch. This is the last stronghold of true Christianity on this planet, and we’re not going to give it up.”

    Many Antioch government officials expressed support for the protestors, but said that they were trying to compromise on the issue to restore normality.

    More Secret Projects Completed
    By GeneralTacticus



    I news that was greeted with much jubilation by prominent citizens across the faction, two new secret projects were recently completed: the Longevity Vaccine, which allows for virtual immortality, was developed in New Apolyton by a government lab; sales of this discovery across the faction have resulted in a greatly increased GDP in New Apolyton, contributing about a quarter of all economic growth over the last seven years.

    Meanwhile, in Deus Ex Machina, scientists working for Aurillion Governor TKG completed work on a device they call a ‘Neural Amplifier’, which allows our troops to defend against mind worms much more effectively. Commander MrWhereTheWormsAre, head of the UN Psi Brigade, praised the development as “The best thing for us since the Empath Song”.

    World Turning Against UN
    By GeneralTacticus



    In a disturbing development on the diplomatic front, it seems that most of the rest of the world is now turning against the UN. First the Human Hive allied itself with the fanatics of the Lord’s Believers, then our last remaining ally, CEO Morgan, announced that he was abrogating the Pact of Brotherhood between himself and the UN that had stood for nearly a century, taking a belligerent stance towards us. Foreign policy analysts were mystified by the move, which reinstated trade barriers that had been abolished under the original Pact and caused significant damage to the Morganite economy. In response, some senior military planners have been proposing that the ‘Operation Fallout’ plans, devised by DeathByTheSword during his term as DPO, be dusted off and revised for serious consideration.

    Our Holy Emperor has been kidnapped!
    by Cedayon



    TKG, governor of the Aurillion province and generally acknowledged as our Holy Emperor ( ), went missing shortly before our most recent cabinet meeting. Subsequently intercepted transmissions, and TKG's GPS transponder signal, lead us to believe he has been abducted by Hive agents. It appears Yang ordered this abduction in response to our recent theft of his data on Silksteel Alloys, although there are some conspiracy theories floating around pointing to certain fringe Green groups incensed by the recent construction of a borehole within the border zone between Aurillion and Akiria.

    Despite this alarming news, it appears there is no need to worry. Our satellites are tracking TKG's transponder signal, and our most recent footage of the area contains images indicating that a single man, together with several dozen s, s, and s, is beating the snot out of Yang's entire military. We estimate that it will take TKG 2-3 weeks to clear a path home, but he should be fine.

    Hercules B Approaching Perihelion
    By GeneralTacticus



    Astronomers at the Ben Nevis Observatory announced today that Hercules B, the second star in our binary solar system, is now approaching ‘perihelion’, or the closest part of it’s orbit to us. This is expected to cause slight increases in temperature Chiron-wide and result in much greater native life activity. Senior officers in the Citizens Defence Force have urged citizens to be prepared for frequent mindworm attacks in the years ahead. Such attacks have already occurred near Aurora and Deus Ex Machina (although the latter has always had to deal with such attacks).
    Last edited by GeneralTacticus; March 11, 2003, 05:10.

  • #2
    our most recent footage of the area contains images indicating that a single man, together with several dozen s, s, and s, is beating the snot out of Yang's entire military. We estimate that it will take TKG 2-3 weeks to clear a path home, but he should be fine.



    Great stuff
    <Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
    Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!

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    • #3
      I second that, gotta admire how the CNN can be so good in every issue
      Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

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