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  • CNN Issue Nine

    Chironian News Network

    Note that the following probably really dont express the opinions of the CNN. Meaning we can't be sued for anything.

    NETFLASH!

    Fighting for Peace?
    Peacekeepers faced with first war
    by GeneralTacticus

    In MY 2181, our faction initiated diplomatic negotiations with the University of Planet. Hopes were high that we could gain commerce, alliances and technology from them, but unfortunately this was not to be. Zakharov demanded knowledge our doctrine of loyalty, and when we refused to give it to him, he declared war. Repeated attempt to make peace were foiled as he demanded ever-increasing sums of energy credits in return.

    We as yet have no idea where his faction is located, but Zakharov did drop one important hint: the most advanced military unit in the possession of the University is laser-equipped rover.

    News of this war’s outbreak sparked furious debate in the Command Nexus about our course of action, with a general consensus that our faction should make it a priority to develop the infrastructure necessary to build a navy and deploy ships equipped with probe equipment in order to infiltrate Zakharov and steal his technology.

    Editor’s footnote: Now the Director of Peacekeeping Operations can stop throwing pens at the roof!


    Pact with eastern neighbour
    Improved relations with Morgan
    by GeneralTacticus

    During Mission Year 2179, our diplomats at Morgan Distribution achieved a great policy coup when they arranged the signing of a Pact of Brotherhood with Morgan Industries for the price of only 50 Energy Credits. Commerce income is expected to increase substantially, and our cartographers now have access to all of Morgan’s maps. Our economics attaché to Morgan expressed particular interest in the economic and industrial potential of Mount Planet, a huge volcano that dominates the land near the Morganic HQ at Morgan Industries.


    DeathByTheSword voted back in…unanimously
    Not one abstention in Commissioner’s re-election bid

    In a surprising turnout, October Commissioner DeathByTheSword was re-elected unanimously, taking 100% of the vote in his uncontested election. It is believed to be the first election in the history of humankind where there has not been a single abstention. When questioned, several important Peacekeeper citizens refused to say what their vote was, declaring it to be secret, but it appears the statistics speak for themselves.

    AdamTG02 finally wins office in close race
    Defeats Archaic – but not by much

    It would appear that Director of Social Engineering produces the most interesting election contests. After the amazing result last election, where the people put a resounding vote of no-confidence in sole candidate Archaic, this contested election seemed to be a shoo-in for Exploration and Discovery Party leader AdamTG02, as he was running against past candidate Archaic. The result, however, was a surprise. Archaic put up a strong fight, and it was neck-and-neck for most of the way, with AdamTG02 just scraping over the line, with 57% of the vote. It seems there was a trend this election to give Archaic a chance to prove himself, but that trend was not enough to get him over the line.

    Bizarre events in Peacekeeping Operations election
    Darkness’ Edge nominates, withdraws, then retracts withdrawal

    The other bizarre election occurred for Director of Peacekeeping Operations. The position lay vacant for most of the nomination period, until as part of a deal to fill the remaining positions, incumbent Darkness’ Edge agreed to nominate, and stand for the position again. The race was uncontested, and he seemed headed for a unanimous result, when suddenly, a day or two into the election period, he suddenly announced his withdrawal from the race, citing the term limits outlined in the Constitution. He stated that he wished to run for Commissioner at the next election, but standing for Director of Peacekeeping Operations would bar him from doing so. This sparked an urgent review of the term limits clauses in the Constitution, and the passing of a small amendment by GeneralTacticus (which will be covered in more detail later in the edition). After the amendment passed, Darkness’ Edge retracted his withdrawal, and took up the position for a second term.


    Straightforward campaign for Foreign Affairs
    GeneralTacticus gets a second term

    In a less surprising result, incumbent GeneralTacticus was easily re-elected for a second term as Director of Foreign Affairs, after a distinguished term which saw us meet our first faction in Morgan Industries. The people easily supported him, with an almost unanimous result – only one abstention. There were, however, a couple of strange occurrences of note. Firstly, Hercules, New Apolyton police chief, was quoted as saying “I have not forgotten you mein general. Better to know where you are”. This left many people wondering whether the police chief was trying to form his own vigilante organisation or paramilitary group. Director of Peacekeeping Operations, Darkness’ Edge, was asked if he had any knowledge of such rumors, but replied simply “I know NOTHING!”. GeneralTacticus also openly tried to track down the sole abstainer, possibly for public lynching or worse, but apparently failed, as this newspaper could not find the culprit.


    Most boring campaign since the Chiron landing
    Maniac elected unanimously

    In probably the most sadly boring campaign since the Unity landed on Chiron, former Director of Industry and Energy, Maniac, was elected unanimously, to replaced Pandemoniak, who resigned unexpectedly in the middle of the previous term, leaving Alpha Talent MrWhereItsAt to take his place. The campaign was straightforward – indeed, it could barely be called a campaign, and there was not a single abstention. While this editor respects Maniac’s fine work (and obviously voted for him), it doesn’t make for exciting journalism!


    New candidate elected amidst fears of another Diablerogate
    dmm1285 elected to Industry and Energy after initial fears of his disappearance

    It was a slightly more turbulent three days for the election of the Director of Industry and Energy. New candidate dmm1285, who had nominated for Industry and Energy as part of the last-minute deal that saw Joeno go for Alpha Talent and Darkness’ Edge remain in Peacekeeping Operations, disappeared soon after his nomination, and several people, fearing another Diablerogate (after the saga with last term’s Alpha Talent), abstained or held back their votes. Thankfully, dmm1285 reappeared, and was easily elected to his first term in office.


    TKG nearly wins election unanimously – despite having an opponent!
    Director of Science elected for a third straight term

    It was an interesting campaign for veteran director TKG, one of the handful of people to have been in office non-stop since the Chiron landing, and one of only two to remain in the same office. Running for a third straight term, he faced Thud, an unknown commodity with a questionable past. As he neared the end of the election, he had 100% of the vote – and it appeared he could be the first person to win a contested election unanimously. But Thud finally got around to voting for himself, and found one other supporter. This did not, however, stop TKG from being returned with 90% of the vote.


    Frivolity, Beer and Base Production
    Makahlua re-elected comfortably

    In another fairly straightforward election, incumbent Makahlua was re-elected as Director of Base Production, defeating challenger lucky22, with 70% of the vote. It was an election noticeably free of political propaganda, and one of the toughest elections to make a decision on. In the end though, it seemed several votes came down to an interesting election stunt: giving the people free xenobrew in exchange for votes. It may well have helped push her over the line, but that didn’t please fellow director TKG, who protested at having competition in the xenobrew market.


    Another Diablerogate averted
    Joeno elected as Alpha Talent after initial absence

    In a very similar campaign to that of dmm1285 for Industry and Energy, Joeno rose to the position of Alpha Talent after a turbulent campaign. He, too, nominated as part of the deal to make sure every position had a candidate, but after a brief absence after his nomination, people began to fear another Diablerogate, and several people withheld votes, giving him a chance to return before a no-confidence campaign was begun. Luckily, like dmm1285, he returned, and was easily elected to power, giving us the backup of an Alpha Talent for the first time since DeathByTheSword himself was in the position.


    Lemmy cruises back into power unopposed
    Unanimous re-election for a third term

    In another fairly boring election campaign, Lemmy was re-elected for a third term as Director of Exploration and Intelligence, a position which he has occupied ever since the Chiron landing. Like Maniac’s Terraformation and Colonisation campaign, nothing really happened. The only problem for Lemmy was the cloud hanging over his head with his upcoming appearance in the New Apolyton Magistrate’s Court, but that was not much of a problem, as the constitution does not bar those convicted by the lower court from serving in office.


    Supreme Court begins operations
    First bench elected, first case beginning hearings

    It had been called for ever since the Chiron landing, and it has finally arrived. We now have our own Supreme Court, to hear disputes for constitutional issues. An election was held, and a bench was elected, consisting of -Groucho-, Tassadar5000, Darkness’ Edge, Mr. President and Pandemoniak. The public was then called on to vote on the form the proceedings would take, and a narrow majority of the people voted for formal proceedings. With that out of the way, the Court declared itself open for business. With the first complaint having been lodged, with Hercules raising questions over the naming of the city “Pandemonium”, the Court has set about hearing its first case, and after several days, is in the process of getting started as this goes to press.


    New Apolyton Magistrate’s Court begins operations
    Lemmy tried on several crimes

    The more informal Magistrate’s Court also began operation recently, under Supreme Court Justice –Groucho-, hearing the trial of Director Lemmy on a huge nine counts. After a long session of debate, the question of his guilt was put to the people, to decide his fate. He had been charged with Abduction of an Elected UN Commissioner During Service, Murders at first and second degree (both with aggravated circumstances), Grand Theft Xenobrew, Little Theft Mikrocredits, Unauthorized Cloning of Citizens, Transmutation of Government Officials to Furniture, Attempted Cannibalism, Use of Horrendously Bad Humor While on Duty and Causing Human Disappearance. On eight of the charges, he was acquitted – mostly with a significant margin. However, he was convicted on one minor charge – that of Use of Horrendously Bad Humor While on Duty. Several citizens questioned the competency of New Apolyton’s district attorney in achieving only one conviction. “Who was prosecuting that guy? A gorilla? Some xenofungus? Eight acquittals. I could have done better than that!” stated one bystander, who wished to remain anonymous.

    Three new bases founded since last edition
    Pandemonium, Terminal Dogma, and Deus Ex Machina built

    Since the last edition of the CNN, the Peacekeepers have kept on expanding, and we now have three new bases. Pandemonium, the base controversially named after ex-Director Pandemoniak, and the basis for the first court-case to be fought in the Supreme Court, Terminal Dogma, the suggestion of MrWhereItsAt, and Deus Ex Machina, the suggestion of Makahlua, were all constructed. Pandemonium and Terminal Dogma are on the peninsula north of Concordia, and Deus Ex Machina is on the plains west of Zanarkand Gate.


    Term limits amendment passes
    Three terms rule dies

    In the fourth amendment to be made to our constitution, the rule barring Directors from standing for any office after being in government for three terms in a row was repealed. It was brought to the forefront when Darkness’ Edge stood aside, after realising he would not be able to stand for Commissioner at the next election if the constitution was not amended. It was also pointed out that four of our most experienced people – Commissioner DeathByTheSword, Director of Science TKG, Director of Foreign Affairs GeneralTacticus and Director of Exploration and Intelligence Lemmy would all be barred from taking any office next term if this rule remained. After a short session of debate, GeneralTacticus posted an amendment striking the rule from the Constitution, and it passed with over 90% support.

  • #2
    I finally got around to doing it. I'm glad...I'd been losing interest in this, but writing this edition was fun, and I started to enjoy it again. It's also about time I wrote a lengthy edition, too.

    Comments?

    Comment


    • #3
      Editor’s footnote: Now the Director of Peacekeeping Operations can stop throwing pens at the roof!

      and it appeared he could be the first person to win a contested election unanimously. But Thud finally got around to voting for himself,



      excellent issue..
      On eight of the charges, he was acquitted – mostly with a significant margin. However, he was convicted on one minor charge – that of Use of Horrendously Bad Humor While on Duty.


      Oh, that is news for me...
      <Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
      Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!

      Comment


      • #4
        I would like to point out that i was also found guilty of Little Theft Mikrocredits by a 12 vs 8 vote.
        <Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
        Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!

        Comment


        • #5
          Cool, DE.

          But there is this:

          First Court Nominations made in near secrecy

          The faction has its own Supreme Court of Alpha Centauri, and the members were democratically elected as is proper. But what few know concerns the deep secrecy under which nominations were held. In a special exclusive, we outline the controversy behind the supposed fairness in selecting Justices for the Court.

          Yes, it is true that the Justices were elected in the truest of Democratic traditions. Yes it is true that there were no oppositions to these particular citizens. But said citizens were a select bunch that stumbled upon the nomination form within the ever-growing datalinks. It is claimed by certain authorities of the time that the form was publicised in areas frequented by citizens, but not in the Rec Commons nor the Network Node. Furthermore, the name of the file detailing nominations was "courtexpressionsofinterest.innocuous.topped" - hardly a title that belied the true nature of a form that was required for nominating would-be Justices of the most honourably Democratic faction surviving from Old Earth.

          It was one Centauri week later that a file WAS publicised openly "courtelections.important.topped", and this reporter first heard of this major development in our faction's, err, development.

          When an explanation was demanded of the authorities responsible for information dissemination, said authorities offered only the excuse that "all should have seen the file for what it was", and that "you were an idiot if you missed it : ". However, some have queried this most, questionable, of acts, and it is rumoured that even elected officials of the time were not informed, as is proper to keep the populace informed of the proper information at all times. Although we cannot confirm it, it is strongly suggested by our informants that even the Office of Social Engineering, Bureau of Terraforming and Colonisation and Alpha Talent's Department for the time were amongst those uninformed who were the least satisfied.

          Investiagations are ongoing, but will the authorities stifle the results of an inquiry? Why was it that even Directors of our distant outpost were not informed of this most crucial of matters, and, above all - WHY is it these questions have gone unnoticed by the public at large?

          MrWhereTheNewsIs
          Consul.

          Back to the ROOTS of addiction. My first missed poll!

          Comment


          • #6
            Darkness

            Use of Horrendously Bad Humor While on Duty
            Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all!

            Comment


            • #7
              As ever- fine work

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: CNN Issue Nine

                Originally posted by Darkness' Edge
                In a surprising turnout, October Commissioner DeathByTheSword was re-elected unanimously, taking 100% of the vote in his uncontested election. It is believed to be the first election in the history of humankind where there has not been a single abstention.
                I distinctly recall a vote held in Iraq back on old Earth during the Final Century where the incumbent won with 100%.

                Sterling work otherwise!
                "The number of political murders was a little under one million (800,000 - 900,000)." - chegitz guevara on the history of the USSR.
                "I think the real figures probably are about a million or less." - David Irving on the number of Holocaust victims.

                Comment


                • #9
                  great job

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    :B: as ussual but the info about the war is outdated already sorry!
                    Bunnies!
                    Welcome to the DBTSverse!
                    God, Allah, boedha, siva, the stars, tealeaves and the palm of you hand. If you are so desperately looking for something to believe in GO FIND A MIRROR
                    'Space05us is just a stupid nice guy' - Space05us

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      DBTS: but i'd written the CNN before you posted the turnthread, so nerr

                      MWIA: I left the part out about Kass and MWIA walking past the building with the big flashing signs asking for justices every day for a week and then whingeing that they weren't on the ballot paper.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Great issue.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Congrats to all involved... great issue guys
                          Smile
                          For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                          But he would think of something

                          "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                          Comment

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