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COMRADES!
WE GREET EACH DAY WITH THE TRUTH!
Welcome comrades to this, the glorious 23rd edition of PRAVDA - the official newsletter of the Human Hive. Due to the mysterious absence/faked disappearance/execution of Comrade Publisher Vander, Comrade Octavian X publishes the this edition Pravda! All hail to the glorious Chairman Voltaire and the hard-working free peoples of the Human Hive!
In This Issue :
- Comrade Vev on Time Travel
- Hive to set new Department of Homeland Security
- Jamski flees the Hive!
- The former slaves of the CyCon
- Comrade David Hattenborough Commentary
- Promising scientist lost
- Non-Existant PRAVDA articles plague Hive
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Hive to set new Department of Homeland Security
More than 3,000 government workers nearly packed the Hall of Claire’s Discipline at Voltairgrad to hear the Chairman talk about their vital role in protecting the Human Hive. He commended them for their sacrifice and dedication and for using their time, talent and energy to work for others.
Sources say that the Chairman is proposing a plan for a new Cabinet-level Department of Homeland Security. Voltaire said a Department of Homeland Security would unify Hive efforts and avoid administrative overlap and duplication. Creation of the department would be the most significant reorganization of government since 2147, he said.
"For the first time," the Chairman said, "this new department will merge under one roof, the capability to identify and assess threats to the homeland, to match those threats against our vulnerabilities and to do what's necessary to secure the Human Hive. There is an overriding and urgent mission here in the Hive today and that's to protect our homeland. We've been called into action and we've got to act."
One of the new agency's primary tasks would be controlling Hive borders to prevent terrorists and weapons from entering the Hive territory. "The single most important priority is to protect the homeland. We're at war," Voltaire stressed. "We must do everything we can to funnel resources and to set priorities to protect the Hive people. It is by far our most important challenge."
The nation is making progress in the war against terrorism overseas and at home, the Chairman said. "What is for certain is, we've got a great military who are doing everything they can to hunt the killers down one person at a time and bring them to justice," he said, "and that's exactly what this government will continue to do."
Hive officials have strengthened aviation security and tightened Hive borders, he noted. Medical authorities are stockpiling medicines to defend against bioterrorism. Intelligence agencies are improving information sharing. Officials are taking steps to protect critical infrastructure.
"What's important for the Hive people to know is that our public servants are working longer hours and working harder and working smarter to defend the people," Voltaire said. "We will win the war on terror -- there's not doubt in my mind -- thanks to the heroism of our fighting troops, and thanks to the patriotism of our people and thanks to the hard work of government officials here."
These public servants, he said, have shown the Hive people "a willingness to go the limit, and then some more, for the sake of your fellow citizens." Public service, he added, "is a way to fulfill our obligation to those who have gone before us, to those who will follow us and to those who have sacrificed and died for us. That's how I view your job and my job."
Submitted by Comrade HongHu
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Jamski flees the Hive!
Former deputy chairman and long time anti-revolutionist Jamski was found to have fled from the Human Hive. Jamski has reportedly left without saying goodbye to anybody. His disappearance was discovered when a janitor found a wide-open door and a disordered floor filled with old classified materials and tapes of Claire Forloni in Jamski’s private quarters. It is speculated that the former deputy intended to defect to the Hive’s enemy faction – the CPU.
CPC chairman HongHu was reported to have also left the Hive after leaving a note on her desk on the same day. Friends close to her said that she had run after Jamski. Hive authorities was informed that she had briefly been in contact with the PEACE, one friendly faction of the Hive. However, she had never actually arrived to join the good captains.
Eight days later a probe team dispatched by CMC chairman Rubin found an unconscious HongHu in a massive area of xenofungus. There is no speculation on how long she had been in that state. Although she appeared to be unwounded, many say that she seems a little different from before. Nobody knows what had happened in those eight days because Comrade HongHu refused to comment on it. Others believe that a nervestaple therapy session may be in order.
Submitted by Comrade HongHu
Editor’s note: Since initial publication, HongHu has been successfully
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The former slaves of the CyCon
As we all
One of the
PRAVDA Journalist:
Former slave:
PRAVDA Journalist:
Former slave:
PRAVDA Journalist:
Former slave:
As we can hear from this interview the scientist is
We all hope for the scientists to
Submitted by Comrade Scorpi40000
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Comrade David Hattenborough Commentary
We have here a pristine University environment, great marble halls, a place of learning. Now we shall take a closer look. Here we are a prime example of a pair University members communicating in their natural habitat. Let's see what our hidden cameras receive.
"Please Professor, I need those grades I can't afford to fail the course and spend another semester 'working' in Zak's private laboratories."
"Sorry young lady, you know rules are rules. My hands are tied."
"That's ... a shame. I have to use mine then."
"No, mouth only."
Of course, in this modern jungle, only the fittest survives and the alpha male is Zak. He hides within his lair, never showing his face.
But that is all going to change soon.
Submitted by Comrade Vev
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Promising scientist lost
The SSC was shocked to find out that one of their most promising young scientists was lost in an accident
The people of the glorious Human Hive
Submitted by Comrade Scorpi40000
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In other news...
- Temporal defacto governor T_ras was removed from duty after making some "unexpected" decisions. The Central Continuing Committee is breathing with relief. Comrade Honghu commented, "I'll never leave the office unlocked again!" Rumors claim this is one of the reasons Comrade Honghu is quitting turn playing. "I just sow the beewtefull bottons of the controller making collorfull lights and wanted to play with it. How could I know it wasn't an Atari game?" said T_ras as he was being escorted to his nervestapling session.
- A former driver has been drafted to the Hive air force. "I know how to operate a former, I'm sure I'll know how to operate a skyhawk," he announced proudly upon inquiry.
The Hive military force has gone through drastic changes so that normal drones cannot recognize any units any more. - Sources say that the CMC is secretly planning a surprise mission following the succession of Brainstorm Project. Several code names has leaked out including "Death of Angels", "Fallen Angels" and "The Last Rose in the Summer".
- Bunnies spotted!
- Hive defeats evil, capitalisitic Planet University of Technology. No one notices nor cares, as no one is suprised.
- New research allows toasters to feel love. Scientists question usefulness of advance in technology. “I’ll never look at a toaster in the same way again,” says one.
- One word in this issue of PRAVDA is sdrawkcab.
- Comrade Octavian messes up poll at top of new PRAVDA issue! Sources say he has been
executedpunished lightly by the CCC.
Onwards Comrades - the Future of Humanity lies in Cooperation, Brotherhood and Industry - Continue to Work for the Glory of the Human Hive
Compiled by Comrade Octavian X
All Around Useless Fat Guy of the Human Hive
Sounds like more changes are happening within Hive since Jam Pi-3 'defected'.
Are you sure he is not Bush?
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