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Pravda Issue 21: The Hive Looks Back!

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  • Pravda Issue 21: The Hive Looks Back!

    SALUTES AND SALUTATIONS, COMRADES!


    WELCOME TO PRAVDA! TRUTH FROM THE ABSOLUTE SOURCE OF IT! WE ALL ARE EQUAL, BUT DON'T FORGET THAT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS!


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    IN THIS ISSUE:
    - What a year it was!
    - The Chairman resigns!
    - Counter-Revolutionary documents!
    - Explosions!
    - Mystery!
    - Special CyCon Commentary section!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A LOOK BACK TO 2152:

    "It was the year of fire" -- Drogue
    CyCon troops firing on Tripoli, PEACE capital

    "The year of destruction" -- Hercules
    Tripoli falls to CyCon

    "The year we took back what was ours." -- Jamski
    Jamski supporters seize offices of PRAVDA

    "It was the year of rebirth" -- Ocatvian
    Third Constitutional Congress in session

    "The year of great sadness" -- Dacole
    Empty offices of Shadow Ministry

    "The year of pain" -- HongHu
    HongHu and Kody say farewell

    "And the year of joy." -- Claire
    Jamski and Claire kiss

    "It was a new age" -- Enigma
    Chairman's resignation papers sitting on desk in empty office

    "It was the end of history" -- Voltaire
    Jamski's trial hearing

    "It was the year everything changed." -- Mead
    Voltaire looking down from balcony on protesters

    "The year is 2152"
    "The place: Human Hive."
    [/QUOTE]

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    COMRADE VOLTAIRE RESIGNS!
    by Comrade Octavian X

    In a surprise move, in order to allow for democratic elections to occur for the position of Chairman of the Central Committing Committee of the Human Hive.

    This unprecedented actions comes at a time of great turmoil within the Hive, as it struggles gloriously to form a new government for her people.

    We can only hope a new Chairman is elected soon to lead the Hive in this period of transition toward a better future for the Hiverian people.

    Glory to the Hive!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ENIGMISTIC TEACHINGS DECLARED COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY!
    by Comrade Micha

    During the last decade our glorious faction has seen the rise of a man, who teached the ideas of elite leadership and the need of independent thought by each and every single individual within the state.
    Although no real Hiverian fell for that incitement of the people, there may be some whose mental integrity is not as strong. For those it shall be clarified:

    The Enigmistic theories directly oppose the foundations of the Hive, they pose a threat to the inner security of our glorious and mighty faction. Therefor those teachings have been outlawed and declared counter-revolutionary. Reading it, listening to it and especially teaching it are acts of treason and will be treated as such.
    Whenever a loyal citizen stumbles across Enigmistic literature or even followers, he/she has to immediately report to the closest Crimson Guard Department.

    Down with the enemies of the state! Long live the Hive! Long live Chairman Voltaire!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    LARGE EXPLOSION IN CENTRAL HIVE SHAFT!
    by Comrade Octavian X

    Today, at 1837.8766.678f87.040.01101010.42 Hive Central New Unified Time, a explosion occurred in The Hive's Central Shaft. The explosion came from Room 1501 of the People's Government Building, according to reports.

    Room 1501 adjoins Room 16789, which is the office of Magistrate and Foreign Relations Commissioner Comrade Octavian X. When reached for comment, he denied responsibility.

    However, sources close to the Commissioner indicate that 1501 was the room used for the production of his secret xenodoughnut stash. When reporters from PRAVDA studied the xenodoughnut process, it was found that if mindworms were not kept at the correct temperature for the process, they may spontaneously combust.

    In a related story, for no reason nor logical explanation, Comrade Octavian X was found to actually be a large xenollama.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    G**** FOUND!
    by Comrade Vev

    Hive officials have announced the capture of the elusive G**** amongst the tunnels during a routine check. Local eyewitness reported at a large contingent of Crimson Guard arrive to collect the G****. "Yeah it was a huge G****, never seen anything like that before." This view has been confirmed by other eyewitnesses. "I say them pull the G**** into the truck. The G**** fought back hard."

    Meanwhile rumors of more G**** have been reported although authorities have confirmed them to be hoaxes and advises to ignore them and continue working as normal.
    G**** Found!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    HIGH RANKED PRISONER ESCAPES!!
    by Comrade Vander

    During an unprecedented second trial for the treasonous Comrade Jamski, a lapse in prison security resulted in said anti socialite's escape from his holding cell. Although a manhunt was informally arranged, there has been no formal declaration from the CCC as to what to do. It is blatantly obvious to this reporter that the CCC is just taking a break from their very stressful jobs of keeping us safe; so their is no need to worry that the CCC is protecting their former member.
    When asked for an opinion, Chairman Voltaire was said to have 'scoffed' at the accusations. "Who is this 'Jamski?' I do not know what you are talking about." Chief Editor Vander had this to reply, "He must be tired. Why would the Chairman forget one of his best Comrades?"

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    COMRADE VOLTAIRE ELECTED NEW CHAIRMAN!
    by Comrade Octavian X


    Comrade Voltaire was elected to the position of Chairman, beating our other candidates Octavian X and Enigma_Nova. Voltaire received 5 votes; Enigma and Octavian garnered 1 a piece.

    Glory to Chairman Voltaire!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    OTHER HEADLINES:
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    - Writer mysterious only writes headline, neglects to write article

    - Many CPU VidScreens stolen, owners told to go "on memory"

    - Adam Smith voted "Evilest man ever" by recent Hive pole.

    - We're better than you.

    - Yin found to be less enlightened than Yang.

    - One word in this issue of PRAVDA is misspelled

    - The New Chairman's approval rating starts of at the improbable 133,574%

    - PRAVDA staff voted "Best staff ever" in recent survey of Hiverian News organs

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    SPECIAL CYCON COMMENTARY SECTION
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    CYCON CLAIMS SPAM IS WRONG!
    by Comrade Vander

    In a recently published issue of 3D, the CyCon claimed that Synthetic Precreated Analytical Messaging (SPAM) was threatening the life of our Planet. They purpose that SPAM will cause complete environmental failure of the ecosystem on Planet.
    Yet be reassured, loyal citizens, that the CyCon's CRAP team has given you nothing but misinformation. The genuine Hivierian SPAM factories pose no threat whatsoever to our great, controlled land. The CyCon are afraid of our great factories. "They, 'Don't want to be behind the Hive.' Let it be known, citizens, that they will see nothing but our ***!" So said a Mid- Level Military Commander. Whether that will happen or not, rest assured that PRAVDA will be there!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    HIVERIAN THOUGHTS ON "FREEDOM", a commentary by Comrade Frankychan

    While skimming through the Datalinks, an article was discovered by another faction dealing with such things as inter-faction language barriers. The excerpt is as follows:

    Let the information given in this declaration be an official description of Hiverian culture so that it may spread throughout the Datalinks.....


    ...The truth of the matter is that there is a word in the Hiverian language as "freedom". The Hiverian usage is not, however, used flippantly as was the case earlier. "Freedom", in the Hiverian sense, is the freedom from fear; freedom from trivial materialism; freedom from loneliness; Essentially, "freedom" is freedom from fear.

    The defunct Peacekeeper faction used the term "freedom" to express itself as a faction that individuals can do whatever they please.... as one can now see, their individualistic mentality has led them to extinction. One can deduce which faction's operational definition of "freedom" is more superior.

    This statement should be taken as a testament to the Hive's methodological thinking. We are not the barbarians that other factions have portrayed us in the past, our enlightened society only wishes to bring a different option of existence to humanity.

    Therefore, we declare that the reputation the Hive has had as "chaotic" and "dysfunctional" is no more. The people of the Hive are united as a single, divine entity.

    Simply put...... "With one voice, The Hive speaks." [/QUOTE]
    7
    NO! They are the manifestation of perfection!!
    57.14%
    4
    NO! It is not possible to get any better than the Hive!!
    42.86%
    3
    Last edited by Vander; January 29, 2004, 20:52.
    She cheats her lover of his due
    but still contrives to keep him tied
    by first deciding to refuse
    and then refusing to decide

  • #2
    EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA

    Late Breaking News

    Shocking news has broken too late to get in to the recently posted Pravda.

    Pravda publishes an exclusive scoop.

    JAMSKI GETS OFF!!!

    For the second time in a row, Comrad Jamski has successfully, without any assistance from anyone else, got himself off.

    The man is a wonder, a machine, say court spectators.

    An extract of the official trial transcript follows:



    The People v. Jamski - Case No. 2151-01
    THE PEOPLE'S SUPREME COURT DISMISS ALL CHARGES

    We, THE PEOPLE'S SUPREME COURT (Magistrate Octavian, Magistrate Mead, and Magistrate Vander),

    Unanimously DISMISS all charges against one Defendant Comrade Jamski.

    The State has been given ample opportunity to prosecute the Defendant, but, has chosen not to do so.

    The Defendant's right to a Speedy Trial has been violated.

    The Court considers it to be a grave injustice to continue this trial against the Defendant.


    The Court Rules:

    That the Defendant be released from any and all forms of restraint.

    All freedoms and rights of the Defendant previously suspended as a result of these proceedings are Restored.


    Court Costs and the Reasonable Attorney's fees of the Defendant are to be paid by the State.


    IF THIS COURT DOES NOT HEAR A REQUEST FOR RECONSIDERATION WITHIN 48 HOURS OF THIS POST, THIS DECISION WILL BE FINAL.

    The Court would consider reconsidering its decision only if very, very good cause is shown. From what this Court has seen to date, we suspect that the State will be unable to persuade us to reconsider.


    THE PEOPLE'S SUPREME COURT


    No request for reconsideration was received and the Court's decision became final. Comrad Jamski is now a free man.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA

      Originally posted by Mead
      No request for reconsideration was received and the Court's decision became final. Comrad Jamski is now a free man.
      IOW, he can join another faction now?
      He who knows others is wise.
      He who knows himself is enlightened.
      -- Lao Tsu

      SMAC(X) Marsscenario

      Comment


      • #4
        The Hive is the only faction "worthy" of Jamski's "greatness."
        She cheats her lover of his due
        but still contrives to keep him tied
        by first deciding to refuse
        and then refusing to decide

        Comment


        • #5
          In other words, he is doomed with us
          Promoter of Public Morale
          Alpha Centauri Democracy Game

          Comment


          • #6
            JAMSKI GETS OFF!!!!!! (with Claire Forlani)



            I am indeed at liberty again and already plotting the overthrow of the state and the triumph of the Data Angels working hard to further the cause of spam communinnismismunsism in the world!!!

            Good PRAVDA, BTW, what did you do with the loyal Jamski supporters that had occupied the building? It would be a shame if they were ALL nervestapled.

            -Jam
            1) The crappy metaspam is an affront to the true manner of the artform. - Dauphin
            That's like trying to overninja a ninja when you aren't a mammal. CAN'T BE DONE. - Kassi on doublecrossing Ljube-ljcvetko
            Check out the ALL NEW Galactic Overlord Website for v2.0 and the Napoleonic Overlord Website or even the Galactic Captians Website Thanks Geocities!
            Taht 'ventisular link be woo to clyck.

            Comment


            • #7
              Of course not. In true Hive fashion, every fifth one was simply executed.
              I'm building a wagon! On some other part of the internets, obviously (but not that other site).

              Comment


              • #8
                Ah, tradition You have to keep the recycling tanks topped up, eh?

                -Jam
                1) The crappy metaspam is an affront to the true manner of the artform. - Dauphin
                That's like trying to overninja a ninja when you aren't a mammal. CAN'T BE DONE. - Kassi on doublecrossing Ljube-ljcvetko
                Check out the ALL NEW Galactic Overlord Website for v2.0 and the Napoleonic Overlord Website or even the Galactic Captians Website Thanks Geocities!
                Taht 'ventisular link be woo to clyck.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA

                  Originally posted by Mead
                  For the second time in a row, Comrad Jamski has successfully, without any assistance from anyone else, got himself off.
                  Funniest post ever!

                  Genius, absolute genius!
                  Smile
                  For though he was master of the world, he was not quite sure what to do next
                  But he would think of something

                  "Hm. I suppose I should get my waffle a santa hat." - Kuciwalker

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Trust Drogue to see the dirty side of everything



                    -Jam
                    1) The crappy metaspam is an affront to the true manner of the artform. - Dauphin
                    That's like trying to overninja a ninja when you aren't a mammal. CAN'T BE DONE. - Kassi on doublecrossing Ljube-ljcvetko
                    Check out the ALL NEW Galactic Overlord Website for v2.0 and the Napoleonic Overlord Website or even the Galactic Captians Website Thanks Geocities!
                    Taht 'ventisular link be woo to clyck.

                    Comment


                    • #11

                      Very nice issue indeed.
                      Be good, and if at first you don't succeed, perhaps failure will be back in fashion soon. -- teh Spamski

                      Grapefruit Garden

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Spam maye wrong, but its crazy tasty.

                        */puts a chunk of disgustingly greasy lard in his mouth.
                        :-p

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Important disclaimer

                          Originally posted by Vander

                          CYCON CLAIMS SPAM IS WRONG!
                          by Comrade Vander

                          In a recently published issue of 3D, the CyCon claimed that Synthetic Precreated Analytical Messaging (SPAM) was threatening the life of our Planet. They purpose that SPAM will cause complete environmental failure of the ecosystem on Planet.
                          Yet be reassured, loyal citizens, that the CyCon's CRAP team has given you nothing but misinformation.
                          I OBJECT! CyCon does not claim this! Report was made by Chiron`s Anarchist Radical Planetologists which are an indenpendent organisation!

                          Originally posted by obstructor Chiron`s Radical Anarchist Planetologists, or C.R.A.P., have recently published study about the state of Chiron`s ecosystem. According to study, Hive produces 87.55 percent of total annual spam. If this rate continues, Hive`s spam will most likely cause permanent ecodamage to environment, and may trigger raising global sea levels. If Hive does not reduce quantity of spam, this will most likely occur in next ten mission years. CyCon`s United Planetologists, or C.U.P., are indifferent towards this study.
                          As it can be seen, C.U.P. does not support this indenpendent report! C.R.A.P. team is not of CyCon origin or in any way supported! We are not responsible for this misinformation!
                          SMAC/X FAQ | Chiron Archives
                          The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --G.B.Shaw

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Editorial function Obstructor (replace with weird CyCon name ), if it is in PRAVDA, it´s true. End of discussion.
                            Heinrich, King of Germany, Duke of Saxony in Cyclotron's amazing Holy Roman Empire NES
                            Let me eat your yummy brain!
                            "be like Micha!" - Cyclotron

                            Comment


                            • #15


                              But whom the general people outside Hive will believe: Communist paper of Free Speech paper ?.
                              SMAC/X FAQ | Chiron Archives
                              The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --G.B.Shaw

                              Comment

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