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COMRADES!
WE GREET EACH DAY WITH THE TRUTH!
Lenin's Birthday Edition of the Russian Newspaper "Pravda" which means "The Truth"
Welcome comrades to this, the glorious 10th edition of PRAVDA - the offical newsletter of the Human Hive.....
.....All hail to the glorious Chairman Voltaire and the members of the Peoples' advisory council!
In This Issue :
- It is a wonderful day
- We need Jamski back!
- Impaled Northern Xenoforest Release New Album
- Hive Movie Announced
- Hive Joke of the Week
- Translated Works of William Shakespeare
- Strange Subterranean Haul
- Mindworm Scene from the Hive Movie
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It is a wonderful day
The glorious citizens of the Hive are enjoying productive fruitful lives. Everyone is happy and well-fed. (Okay so we have ran out of things to say. But the Chairman demands articles, and on the pain of being recycled, this is all we can come up with.) Spring is approaching and on the surface, carefree lambs frolicked in the warm glow of the Centauri sun. Joyous is the occasional and nary could one disagree.
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We need Jamski back!
A search party was launched early this morning when the deputy chairman Jamski was announced missing. Comrade Jamski has not been seen in over a week and his avid supporters have expressed deep concerns over his whereabouts. This disappearance was closely followed by the disappearance of Comrade Static Universe. Comrade Static Universe left a note that he had things to attend to.
Aside from timing there has been no correlation between the departure of both these promient members of the Hive. However, police have yet to rule out possible foul play.
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Impaled Northern Xenoforest Release New Album
The Hive’s own acoustic black metal band Impaled Northern Xenoforest have just released their second album, entitled “Pepetually inverted morbid Satanic demonic evil inverted blasphemous necropolis of the northern impaled hellclan”. Here’s a track listing:
1. Devouring the morbid unholy remains of the inverted northern necrowizard
2. Invertedly blaspheming amidst the grim forlorned abomination of the blasphemous impaled hellgoat
3. Invoking the blasphemous inverted incantation of the lusting necrodemon amongst the grim and frostbitten rubble of the northern necropolis
4. Perpetuating the morbid forbidden blasphemous conjurement of the necrodruid whilst praising the inverted masturbating transfixment of the northern necrotaxcollector
5. Descending unto the grimmest and most frostbitten hellgate of the north amongst the nocturnal blasphemy of the enchanted hellwitch
6. Observing the blasphemous northern slaying of the perpetually inverted betrayed morbid hellwitch
7. Sacrificing the most blasphemous incantation of the moongoat whilst singing the grim and inverted seven glorious of Satan.
8. Navigating the northernmost forlorned archipelago of Necrotrondborgir amidst the agonizing wailing of the enchanted decapitated necrowizard
9. Blasphemous moongoats congregating amidst the inverted morbid frostbitten blasphemy of the northernmost moonforest
10. Awaiting the blasphemous transfixment of the impaled abomination of the northern hellreaper
11. Inverting the unholy forsaken altar of Satan whilst observing the morbid blasphemous transfixment of the hellwizard’s blasphemous necrobation.
12. Blasphemously blaspheming amidst the blasphemous blasphemy of the blasphemous frostbitten blasphemation amongst the morbid blasphemy of the northern blasphematorium.
Frontman George H. Brown said, "It's very scary. Glory to the Hive!". Good advice, George.
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Hive Movie Announced
Vev has announced production of the Hive movie. Titled "I have no idea what is heck is going on". Extracts from the movie script have been released for promotional purposes.
It has sex!
Jamski looks down. Now this was either going to take some explaining, or it was a wonderful possibility. Grabbing Claire by one high-heeled boot, he drags her into the room and shuts the door. He tabbs the comstud as he takes his jacket off :
"Comrades, I am not to be disturbed for the next three hours..."
"Comrades, I am not to be disturbed for the next three hours..."
"You will, of course, keep me informed of your progress?" The Marshal looked at HongHu with a surprisingly menacing tone, but it quickly faded. "What am I saying? Of course you will, you are my Director of Intelligence, if there is anyone who I can trust it is you. Not to mention you are a member of the CCC, also a very trustworthy position."
Indecision washed over Wujiang’s face as he first stared at HongHu then at the phone. It was obvious he did not know what to do and was now torn by whether to obey her or report to his superior. While HongHu had already walked away after issuing her order, Claire continued to watch Wujiang. She walked forward and placed her hand over Wujiang’s hand, which lay trembling on the table. He looked up at her with conflict and fear in his eyes. She calmly stared back and slowly some of the fear and conflict leeched away. The phone was placed back on the hook.
"WARNING. 3 ENTITIES CLOSING IN ON VEHICLE." The computer yelled. The autodefences kept firing, but more and more were coming.....Tassadar closed his eyes and began to meditate. The mindworms were quickly overwhelming the defences, and Tassadar was convinced he would have to rely on his psychic training for this one...
“Thump!” The slightly opened steel door flied open and a strong, tall figure in military uniform scuffled in, then collapsed on the floor. “Marshal!” Comrade HongHu let out a little cry while she hurried to drag the Marshall onto her loveseat. Rokossovky’s face was skewed in pain, but he felt much better under HongHu’s concerned and questioning gaze.
Comrade Frankychan leaned back in his chair, watching the numerous viewscreens on the wall opposite him. Each vidscreen showed some activity or another in the various bowels of The Hive. A viewscreen showed two unsuspecting citizens locked in a passionate embrace in a storage facility.
He had been standing on a plain of xenofungus that stretched as far as the eye could see. He had known it was a dream because he hadn’t been wearing an oxygen mask and he didn’t have any trouble breathing. The rust red fungus was ankle deep and when the wind blew, spores had twirled around his legs moving with the breeze. A circle of mindworms was surrounding him with their front segments raised above the ground and their three lipped mouths slowly opening and closing. They looked threatening yet they did not advance on him. Clouds had slowly skidded across the sky and sometimes the mindworms had swayed slightly in the wind. However, nothing had happened until he had woken.
Social experiments rarely if ever succeed, and at this moment as Voltaire observed his own experiment his opinion that of abysmal failure. The escapades of his governing class were akin to those of the detestable decedent Roman Republic; and he was the fool at the head of it all. His opinion of the situation grew more and more grim with each page of the report. This will not do, not at all...
"We managed to get Claire into the movie early on and chicks with large busts are very important for attracting audiences. As for what genre we're aiming for is it going to be a semi-action, semi-drama, semi-serious movie with some comedy and horror. We intend to explore much of human nature and show what will happen if true communism is not followed. Consequently, the censors in other factions will likely ban this movie due to its political content. However, I'm sure we'll be able smuggle numerous copies in and hopefully cause a few defections."
Vev also added that any new hive members will have the opportunity to participate in the making of the movie and there are already 50 or so scenes already filmed. Many more scenes are expected before the completion of the movie.
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Hive Joke of the Week
The Chairman passes a law requiring ten children to be born to each family.......
But a woman only has two....*cue laugh*
A Counter-Revolutionary Comrade and a Capitalist are fighting. Who will win?
The People of the Human Hive. *cue laugh*
What happens to capitalist pigdogs?
They shall become one with all the people *cue laugh*
What's the difference between a drone and a citizen.
How many nervestaples are given out. *cue laugh*
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Translated Works of William Shakespeare
Macbeth
Act 1 - Scene 1
A fungus patch.
Thunder and lightning. Enter three Capitalists
First Capitalist
When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
Second Capitalist
When the hurlyburly's done,
When the marketing strategies lost and won.
Third Capitalist
That will be ere the set of Communism.
First Capitalist
Where the place?
Second Capitalist
Upon the fungal plains.
Third Capitalist
There to meet with Macbeth.
First Capitalist
I come, mindworm!(originally Graymalkin meaning grey cat, a creature that lived on old earth. However, it more likely is an abstract way to say old crone. I think you’ll agree mindworm is a better insult.)
Second Capitalist
Old slimy toady creature with warts calls. (these capitalists really didn't like each other)
Third Capitalist
I agree.
ALL
Fair is foul, and foul is fair (they’re saying they feel turbulence of a society without communism)
Hover through the fog and filthy smell of money.
Exeunt
(Original Play)
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Strange Subterranean Haul
The glorious Hive trawler boats have reportedly hauled in strange creatures from the sea unseen by humans. Details remain scarce as the boat was immediately seized and all specimen confiscated. Speculations are rife about these creatures and the fate of the fishing crew.
Pravda inside source described one of these creature as octopus-like with many tentacled legs, small leathery wings and evil blood-red eyes. The source cannot be relied upon as he appeared insane during the time of the interview, especially when he also mentioned that sealurk sashimi is especially delicious with xenofungus sauce. We think he is suffering from xenofungus poisoning.
Strange developments are happening after that amazing haul and already, a secret underground cult is founded although its name or its goals are unknown. Rest assured, the Crimson guard will root out these subversive elements.
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Mindworm Scene from the Hive Movie
With the permission of the producers we were allowed to print the full version the most recent scene being produced in the Hive Movie.
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We squirmed through the liquid filth that filled these strange caverns. What a strange smell and texture the home of these aliens had. There is another opening up ahead that opens up into a bigger cavern. We sense something. A mind. A host. This is what we have been looking for.
The mind is resting. Closed to the outside world, but not closed to us. We link together and begin probing the mind to find what we need to make our move. A sister called Katya and a mother called Galina. These are meaningless to us, so we continue to burrow deeper. A fear of rejection and a fear of being weak. These not are what we are looking for. A fear of death and of the unknown. The feeling of something watching unseen. A clammy hand that strokes flesh, cold and slimy from decay. We absorb this. We magnify this.
Anton looked around apprehensively. He could feel something watching him. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled and a cold shiver ran down his spine. It was dark in the corridor and barely lit by lights that were beyond run down. The seals in this section of the corridor had broken letting in the dampness and to his left there was the sound of dripping water.
Somewhere in the gloom there’s a splash, followed by silence. He peered to his left, the water had stopped dripping. Moments later the sound of dripping resumed. Something warm and fetid breathed on the back of his neck.
“Sweet flesh. Warm blood,” a voice whispered in his ear.
Anton whirled and punched, but only connected to air. Out of the corner of his eye an undefined shape moved.
“We thirst,” the voice hissed while a clammy hand brushed his arm. Again he lunged and again there was only air.
He began to run, but his legs seemed sluggish and the ground seemed to be covered in thick mud that squelched and sucked at his boots. His frantic movements did not drown out the soft splashes of something behind him. No matter how fast he ran he couldn’t seem to get away. Gasping he tripped in the darkness and fell face first into knee deep muck.
Exhausted he kneeled there listening to the creature drawing closer. There was a long pause and he felt the clammy hand brush his hair away from his face.
“It is time,” the voice said.
It is time. We wiggle forward and climb up the creature heading towards its head. It feebly attempts to dislodge us, but we have done our work well. Its eyes stare blankly ahead unseeing lost in the nightmares we have weaved. When we begin to burrow the creature opens its mouth and begins a tuneless song. A scream, stolen memories tell us.
Our bodies squirm as we wiggle deeper. The open mouth provides an easier entrance to reach our goal and the scream is cut off by our passage. Inside the warm wetness of the head we lay our eggs where our young will feed off the nightmares of the host. We now await the larvae to grow and join us.
Our work is done and it is glorious. The words tumble out and form from the stolen memories.
The host silently screamed for a long time.
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In other news :
- A poetry contest has been announced and all submitted poetry will printed in the next issue of Pravda. The poems must describe love for your respective faction.
Disclaimer: Pravda takes no responsibility for printing poetry that is not quite the same as the submitted poem. This is due to censoring. - Limerick:
There once was cyborg called "Billy"
Who would woo with every filly
[CENSORED]
[CENSORED]
[CENSORED]
OKAY WHO PUT THIS IN HERE!!!!! - Chairman Voltaire has ordered a hault to the reformations to the judicial system. In his order he commented, "I've been perhaps too liberal in my rule, and it has resulted in the decadence we see." The Chairman has also established an ad hoc committee headed by CCC deputy Comrade HongHu in an effort to ensure all proposed laws are constitutional. Rumors said that martial law will be acclaimed in two to three days.
- Comrade Frankychan moved to ordain Comrade Chairman Voltaire as "Father of the State" for his excellence in Hiverian leadership.
Onwards Comrades - the Future of Humanity lies in Cooperation, Brotherhood and Industry - Continue to Work for the Glory of the Human Hive
Random Job Person - Comrade Kody
You have done well!
Comrade Chairman Voltaire must be getting lax in his nervestapling 
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