PRAVDA SPECIAL EDITION #5 - 27th May 2003 - A Terrible National Tragedy!

[Jamski]

COMRADES!
WE GREET EACH DAY WITH THE TRUTH!

Lenin's Birthday Edition of the Russian Newspaper "Pravda" which means "The Truth"

Welcome comrades to the fifth special edition ot the offical newsletter of the Human Hive. We have grave news to import to you, news of terrible tragedy and loss of glorious human life. All hail to the glorious Chairman Voltaire and the members of the Peoples' advisory council!

In This Issue :

• Disaster in the Fungus!
• Exclusive interview with a Scout Patrol Member
• Mouring together - official instructions
• Hive Technology Report
• What's on where - Hive entertainment!
• Public safety announcements
• All the news you'll ever need !

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All contact lost with brave colonists
While enroute to found a new base to expand our living accomodation one of our colony pods was apparently attacked by "mind-worms" without warning. Shortly afterwards all contact with the pod was lost. A scout patrol in the area sent to investigate found no trace of the pod or its inhabitants. We must assume the worst. This is a black day for the Human Hive indeed. All citizens are commanded to weep and rend their clothes apart as a sign of sorrow for the unwanted counter-revolutionaries being sent into exile the brave and Glorious Comrades who lost their lifes trying to build a better future for you and the Party. Anyone found not crying at 14:00 Hive Time WILL be nervestapled on the spot

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First Eyewitness Account of the Horror
PRAVDA speaks to a member of the Scout Patrol sent to investigate the disappearance.

PRAVDA : Tell us what happened and tell the TRUTH or I'll use this hand-held nerve-stapler, you cretin in your own words, Comrade Corporal Ying.

Corporal Ying : We were patrolling in the fungus near the Hive, collecting cartographic data when we recieved the order to rush to assist a colony pod in danger from worms. The Captain refused to obey.

PRAVDA : Why was that?

Corp. Ying : The order was from the Ministry of Expansion, and we work for the Marshall - we are soldiers, not policemen, so.... AAAAAAAGH!.... I mean the Captain was a counter-revolutionary so I had to shoot him and take command myself, Sir.

PRAVDA : So, what happened next ?

Corp. Ying : We rushed over the hill and saw a colony pod's white bulk nearly obscured by a seething mass of "mind-worms"

PRAVDA : So you rushed to the rescue immediatly ?

Corp Ying : No, we recoginsed it was the pod filled with criminals and counter-revolutionaries so we stopped for a cigarrAAAAAAAAGH! I mean we rushed to the rescue but it was too late, the people were already dead.

PRAVDA : We were under the impression that no trace was found of the pod?

Corp. Ying : Umm, yes, umm... YES - that's right we burnt the pod so that AAAAAAAAAAAGH! No, we, we... we never found the... the... that is we never got the signalAAAAAAAAAAGH!

PRAVDA : Thankyou for your time Corporal. Take him away now.

Corp. Ying : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

PRAVDA : Cretin

Corp. Ying : Not the recycling taAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

PRAVDA is grateful as always for these insights into the diciplinary affairs of the People's Army.
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Mourning Instructions
At 14:00 hours today all citizens are instructed to cry for 2 minutes 45 seconds. The Crimson Guard will supervise to ensure public safety as always. Then all Hive citizens should listen to the Tragic March for the Fallen Comrades attached to this edition of PRAVDA.

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The Hive Discovers New Transport Technology

The glorious hive scientists and engineers have developed a practical all-terrain vehicular using the limited resources available on Chiron. Chief researcher of the mechanical division said, "The idea of making a rover is nothing new as humans have been making automobiles for hundreds of years. The main problem is the lack of available fuel for the vehicle. We had to redesign the engine to make it highly efficient and robust, capable for extended travel and travelling to other factions and laying waste to them.

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Communal Holovision Guide
Black screen with continual playing of the National Anthem :

The Glorious National Anthem of The Human Hive

Strength in our Power
The Hive marches onward
The Hives' in her prime
And this shall never end!
The Hive and her People
Shall live in Perfection
The Dream of our Fathers
Alive in the Stars...

Votaire! Our Father for us and the land
Truth, Built by his mighty hand
Long shall the Hive live for all to be inspired
True, to our forces and Leader.
The true Blue-Black banner shall fly higher.
Rising forever, as History unfolds.

Our trip was for nothing
Till Yang came to lead us
and Bright Chiron gleaming
alone, called for us!
Then Voltaire The Leader
Made brought us down from 'bove
And so began the new journey
For all human kind

Votaire! Our Father for us and the land
Truth, Built by his mighty hand
Long shall the Hive live for all to be inspired
True, to our forces and Leader.
The true Blue-Black banner shall fly higher.
Rising forever, as History unfolds.

*extra verses for official bigger state events*

The fight of The Future
Is now and forever
For this is our true home, and so shall remain!
Our time is at hand
When all other Factions
and all of there people shall sing in our praise!

Votaire! Our Father for us and the land
Truth, Built by his mighty hand
Long shall the Hive live for all to be inspired
True, to our forces and Leader.
The true Blue-Black banner shall fly higher.
Rising forever, as History unfolds.

The fight of The Future
Is now and forever
For this is our true home, and so shall remain!
Our time is at hand
When all other Factions
and all of the people shall sing in our praise!

Votaire! Our Father for us and the land
Truth, Built by his mighty hand
Long shall the Hive live for all to be inspired
True, to our forces and Leader.
The true Blue-Black banner shall fly higher.
Rising forever, as History unfolds.

*Hovertanks charge out from the background in a huge drum roll, needle jets fly over head, and a Planet Busters get fired from their silos*

Words by Comrade Haon, Music by Comrade Jamski
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And Now Some Peoples' Happiness!



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Entertainment News

None, this time is too tragic for entertainment. Thousands are dead. Go and weep.

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***PUBLIC***SAFETY***ANNOUCMENT
Repeated because you're stupid it was so popular.

From the Promoter of Public Morale for the Hive, the Commissioner of Public Safety, and the Commissioner of General Security.

Nerve Stapling is 100% safe and is an acceptable form of personal persuasion. 9.9 out of 10 people prefer Nerve stapling than being executed recycled although 0.1 prefers punishment sphere Please stay below ground and obey the police forces at all times for your own safety. Thankyou for your comradely cooperation in these difficult times.

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In other news :

• Hive codebreakers celebrate reading every message from the Cybernetics
• A possible spy was shot.
• The people love Chairman Voltaire even more than ever. Latest polls show 135% support for the Chairman.
• Comrade Jamski appointed Deputy Chairman of the Hive. He will share executive (i.e. turn playing) power with the Chairman and the Marshall

Onwards Comrades - the Future of Humanity lies in Cooperation, Brotherhood and Industry - Continue to Work for the Glory of the Human Hive

Editorial Deputy to the PAC - Comrade Jamski

[Cedayon]

/me applauds.

Entertaining as always, Jamski (and everyone else involved. I particularly liked the comic

One thing though...

Hive codebreakers celebrate reading every message from the Cybernetics

I don't believe you on the "every" part

[Jamski]

Its PRAVDA, Cedayon, would we lie to you, our loyal readers? If PRAVDA says every then it must be true

-Jam

[Drogue]

A great issue Jam, and a touching account of such an horrific tradegy. I was wondering why the Hive was right at the bottom of the most powerful factions graph, and now I know

[Maniac]

Well apparently we aren't the only one who have disasters.

[DeathByTheSword]

great issue

[Jamski]

Thanks guys But a question : four people posted, only 2 downloads of the Tragic March. Someone will be getting visited by the Crimson Guard if they're not mourning properly.

-Jam

[Cedayon]

A visit from the Crimson Guard? Oh, joy!

*notifies TKG to expect new lab specimens*

[Jamski]

*wonders if all those metal components should go in the rec tanks too?*

-Jam

[Drogue]

Jamski: Did you write the tragic march?

[Jamski]

Yes, I did. Do you like it? I wrote the anthem too, but I'm not sure you'll be hearing that played in your bases....yet

(I could possibly be convinced to help other factions with this service too...)

-Jam

[Drogue]

I like it, although I think you need a better program The trumpets sound a little unreal. I like the composition though. Maybe I'll have to releasem some of the things I've written... although maybe not I'll have to try and record some of them.

[Jamski]

Like it says in the readme, Drug, you need a better synth/soundcard Its a MIDI file, so it uses whatever synth you have set to use.

-Jam

[Drogue]

Jamski: That isn't true. I have a very good soundcard, and it can only play in the synth that it was written in. It isn't the soundcard, it is the program it was written in.

[Snowflake]

Originally posted by Jamski

(I could possibly be convinced to help other factions with this service too...)

-Jam

How about he writes an anthem for you, and you give him the code clue? ... What clue? ... Did I say ... No I meant some glue, so that he can paste his final product in his show room.