PRAVDA SPECIAL EDITION #4 - 23rd May 2003 - A First Glorious Millitary Victory!

[Jamski]

COMRADES!
WE GREET EACH DAY WITH THE TRUTH!

Lenin's Birthday Edition of the Russian Newspaper "Pravda" which means "The Truth"

Welcome comrades to the fourth special edition ot the offical newsletter of the Human Hive. As you may have noticed, all editions of PRAVDA are pretty special, and this one's no exception! All hail to the glorious Chairman Voltaire and the members of the Peoples' advisory council!

In This Issue :

• PRAVDA reports on the glorious actions of the Hive's armed forces
• Everyday Hive life revealed for the first time!
• Big brother is looking out for your best interests!
• How to cook!
• What's on where - Hive entertainment!
• Public safety announcements
• All the news you'll ever need !

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Victory against the forces of evil
While exploring in the fungus, looking for some escaped dissidents trying to locate and eliminate rescue any other survivors of the Unity breakup, one of the glorious hive scout patrols discovered a strange tower growing out of the fungus - covered in the evil known only as MIND WORMS. The scout patrol was luckily armed with experimental flamethrower weapons which quickly turned the disgusting alien growth into toast. Glory to the Hive Armed Forces and their glorious Marshal! The remains were discovered to contain "Planet Pearls" of great value wich were added to the People's general communual reserves. We will continue to ensure the safety of the people of the Hive from these monstrosities at all costs. Please stay below ground for your own good. (See safety announcments below)

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New police force created
As our population continues to grow, you, the people of the Hive are being asked to share your apartments with other families. This is of course just a temporary measure untill more bases can be constructed when some of you can leave for new homes. Untill then, and to maintain maximum order, a new force called the Crimson Guard. This has all been paid for by YOU the people from the communal funds (recently enlarged by the "planetpearls") at a cost of about 40 standard energy credits. This statement was recieved from Chairman Voltaire on the subject:

Comrades rejoice, for our great faction has undertaken new measures for the security of her People. The CCC has appointed loyal Party members to the positions of Commissioner of Public Safety and Commissioner of General Security.

The CCC extends its welcome to the two new Commissioners of the Hive State Security Service, Comrade Frankychan and Comrade Vev.

Comrade Frankychan due to his dedicated hard years of service to the Party, People, and State has been appointed as the new Commissioner of Public Safety. Comrade Vev, likewise due to his loyal services to the Hive, has been appointed the Commissioner of General Security.

The role of the Hive State Security Service will be to monitor the People’s Ministers and other Party members to ensure that our glorious nation is free of enemy infiltrators. This will in no way disrupt the daily working of the Hiverian administration, it is simply an extra security measure for the protection of the interests of the People and Party of the Human Hive.

With this new appointed, the CCC would also like to announce the plans for the creation of a new elite guard unit of the motherland. The new unit, dubbed the ‘Crimson Guard’ (until an official name can be determined through consultations with the Peoples’ Advisory Council), will be under the command of the Hive State Security Service as a measure to ensure that the State Security Service can perform their duties.

-Chairman Voltaire

PRAVDA is grateful as always for these insights into the democratic affairs of the CCC.
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An Ordinary Hivian’s Start of a Day

It is a suns shining, mindworms singing kind of day. I wake up to the glorious revolting music of our great national anthem. “…Through tempests the sunrays of freedom have cheered us along the new path …” I look at the wall. There the face of our great new leader Comrade Chairman Voltaire with his flouting hair and flashing eyes is smiling at me. His words in the grand opening at the great Unity Square yesterday is still hanging around my ears. “… With hard work, dedication and most of all, people willing to work a common cause, we can build ourselves a bloody and tyrannical great nation …” I sit down beside the table and read Pravda. It is reported that more comrades have joined us. This is such a great and glorious nation! I take a sip of the xeno-energy drink. Immediately I feel a wave of jubilance running through me. Strangely the drink gives me a little different feeling today. I feel my scientific productiveness is surging.

What am I going to work on today? I ask myself. To the north is the rich sea land that I worked on yesterday that has generated great amount of food that our people urgently need. To the south is the new found mineral resources. There are so many things to do! I really wish that the whispered cloning pod really does exist. But I decide that I will work on the Young’s Spirit Monolith today. The potential benefits it holds for the future expansion and development of our great nation are just too great to resist. With that thought, I finished my xeno-energy drink. Once again I feel a great wave of jubilance running through me. What a way to start a new day!

Stolen from the secrect diary of Comrade HongHu

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Today's Communal Kitchen Menu

Breakfast
Soylent crispy flakes

Lunch
Hanoi-styled Steamed Xenofungus and Soylent
Green Soylent with steamed xenofungus

Dinner
Baked mince (with 50% meat/30% xenofungus/ 20% classified) and potato stew
or
Soylent Stew

Beverage
Soylent Drink
Xenofungus beer

Coming Soon!
Xenofungus stew and quiche

Intercepted communication
"Comrade, why aren't our glorious party ministers eating the Baked mince stew?"
"Haven't your heard?"
"Heard what?"
"They used recycled humans as additives"

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Communal Holovision Guide
Early Morning News
Uncle Mao's Children Corner
Krakov the Communist Ant
Stalin's Storytelling
Days of our Hive
Marx's Matchmaking
Hive News Network
People's Party of Hive
Crime Scene Interrogation
Movie Feature:
Red Poet's Society
Saturday Night Hive
Dr Lenin's Comrade Procreation Guide

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The Hive Needs Talented Entertainers!

By popular the Chairman's demand, the PAP is recruiting talented not necessarily acting talent actors, actress, script writers, cinematographers and director for the filming of "Days of our Hive". Auditions will be held in Communal Hall 43B.

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Entertainment News
The wildly popular Marxist musicians Rage Against The Chagrin will be doing a Human Hive-wide tour, performing songs from their latest album, Grenades of Funk! Look out for their hit singles Calm Like A Planet Buster, Know Your Enema, Re-educating In The Name Of, The Ghost Of Sheng-Ji, and many more! Free to everyone, and everyone can come as long as you haven't been scheduled to work when they've been scheduled to play.

Further evidence that nerve stapling is not harmful: in the month of Gloriousproleteriatrevolution there will be an abstract art exhibition showing the work of nerve-stapled re-educants! I've seen it myself and being a coinesseur(sp?) of abstract art I must say it's like nothing I've ever seen before.

We know that occasionally for reasons unknown our youth aren't interested in politics and the glory that is socialism, so the ministry of information has commissioned a series of books to indoctrinate strimulate the interests of our youth. If you are a parent, you will check out these books when we deliver them to you: Harry Potter and the People's Glorious Proleteriat Revolution, Harry Potter and the Reeducation of the Free Marketeering Heretic, Harry Potter and the Monolith of Socialist Enlightenment, Harry Potter and the Unfortunate Dissident-Recycling Tanks Incident, Harry Potter and the Vision of Glorious Communist Utopia, Harry Potter and the Revelation of Mao.

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***PUBLIC***SAFETY***ANNOUCMENT
From the Promoter of Public Morale for the Hive, the Commissioner of Public Safety, and the Commissioner of General Security.

Nerve Stapling is 100% safe and is an acceptable form of personal persuasion. 9.9 out of 10 people prefer Nerve stapling than being executed recycled although 0.1 prefers punishment sphere Please stay below ground and obey the police forces at all times for your own safety. Thankyou for your comradely cooperation in these difficult times.

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In other news :

• The glorious forces of The Hive’s Ministry of Peace continue their exploration of Planet. They continue to seek out contact with our brother factions so that we may annhilate them forcibly show them the ways of the Hive make fruitful peace with them.
• The latest reports indicate that the colony pods of Miriam Godwinson were destroyed immediately upon contact, with all survivors of the crash executed found, though, sadly, all aboard had died
• The Hive musicians and artists continue their work for the good of their fellow comrades.
• I assume Rage Against The Chagrin will be covering Bob Dylan's "Subterranian Homesick Blues" as well.
• Comrade FrankyChan appointed as my Editorial Assistant Deputy to the Peoples' Advisory Council, and as the new Commissioner of Public Safety.
• Comrade Vev appointed as the Commissioner of General Security.

Onwards Comrades - the Future of Humanity lies in Cooperation, Brotherhood and Industry - Continue to Work for the Glory of the Human Hive

Editorial Deputy to the PAC - Comrade Jamski

[Method]

The latest reports indicate that the colony pods of Miriam Godwinson were found, though, sadly, all aboard had died

if it's in PRAVDA then it must be true

[Jamski]

if it's in PRAVDA then it must be true

You read it here first.

-Jam

[Octavian X]

You can't make this stuff up.

[Corellion]

Using people as food additives!? That's a waste of good fuel!

[Method]

00101011001000110111101101110011000000111010000100 00001110111011011110111001001110010011110010010111 00010000001101111011011100110010100100000011001000 11000010111100100100000011101000110100001100101011 01001011100100010000001100101011011100111010001101 00101110010011001010010000001100110011000010110001 10111010001101001011011110110111000100000011000010 11011100110010000100000011010010111010001110011001 00000011100000111001001100101011000110110100101101 11101110101011100110010110000100000011100000111001 00110010101100011011010010110111101110101011100110 01000000110100001111001011001000111001001101111011 00111011001010110111000100000011101110110100101101 10001101100001000000110001001100101001000000110111 10111010101110010011100110010000100100000001110100 1000100





er, ooops. did i say 100101101000011010010111011001100101? because i meant 00110011101010110111001101001011101100110010101110 01001110011011010010111010001111001

[Jamski]

We WILL crack this code - if it's not just spam that is. Its just a matter of hours now... yes it says so in PRAVDA.... we can do it yes...

-Jam

[Octavian X]

I think the corpses of the dissidents give it an excellent tangy taste.

[Googlie]

TKG

00110101001001001111010001100100110001001111010011 00



G.

[Vev]

Now we can have fun too!

fggafigkaotqhiqxwaibo!

[Googlie]

Hey - keep the language clean here

(Miriam's Believers cover their ears)

GG

[Mr. President]

You PRAVDA guys are really funny. Why don't you ever visit AC-Fiction?

[Micha]

originally posted by glorious Comrade Jamski
Free to everyone, and everyone can come as long as you haven't been scheduled to work when they've been scheduled to play.

Great! Simply great!

originally posted by Googlie, our one and only god
(Miriam's Believers cover their ears)

Didn´t the truth tell us they were all executed on contact found death?

[Static Universe]

Originally posted by Mr. President
You PRAVDA guys are really funny. Why don't you ever visit AC-Fiction?

You don't pay enough. You think genius comes cheap?

Sweeten the pot.

[Jamski]

Is AC fiction still alive? I'll pop by.....

But of course PRAVDA contains only fact

-JAm