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How did you keep from laughing out loud??
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The greatest delight for man is to inflict defeat on his enemies, to drive them before him, to see those dear to them with their faces bathed in tears, to bestride their horses, to crush in his arms their daughters and wives.
Duas uncias in puncta mortalis est. -
I left the room to "use the restroom" about three times in the space of ninety minutes. All that late afternoon tea and soda, you know . . .Comment
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It's sad that there are so many retards out there. I used to play Baldur's Gate 2, and found even more amusing comments like "How do I open the door X in the first Dungeon?".Comment
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Has anyone of you posted reviews on Amazon?Comment
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I actually use with a lot of grain and salt the book reviews in amazon. Since I am in Germany and getting to an old good bookstore full of english books is not possible I use Amazon a lot. When I look for a book I read through some of the reviews, it's pretty easy to discard the pointless ones and get an idea of the more usefull ones. I've actually noticed that there is a big difference btwn the reviews in books and in games! I am thinking to write a review aboout a book that I am about to finish, myself but I am not sure if I should.
So long...Excellence can be attained if you Care more than other think is wise, Risk more than others think is safe, Dream more than others think is practical and Expect more than others think is possible.
Ask a Question and you're a fool for 3 minutes; don't ask a question and you're a fool for the rest of your life! Chinese Proverb
Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. Warren BuffetComment
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The Amazon.com reviews are no funnier than some others. They are likely more accurate than the glowing and effusive reviews in the Gaming World that praised a buggy and beta Civ 3 to the skies as soon as it first came out, that before even the first patch. Firaxis' flacks were busy. As for me, I am off to Amazon. Thanks for
the headsup!Comment
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Catt,
That's some funny stuff. That being said, I have a friend at work who has CivIII, and also has a family. He just can't devote the time I do to the game (I don't even want to guess at how many hours per week or month I play). So anyway, we were talking about the game recently, and he was explaining that he can do ok on warlord, but gets trashed on regent. So I started asking him if he did various little things... and we got around to talking about golden ages, whereupon I discovered:
Garry didn't know what triggers a golden age
Garry didn't know what exactly a golden age does
Garry thought you had many golden ages over the course of the game
When I asked him how he could fail to notice a golden age, which significantly boost shield & commerce output, he sorta shrugged and said "I don't pay attention to that stuff."
Translation: "I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just moving units around."
-Arriangrog want tank...Grog Want Tank... GROG WANT TANK!
The trick isn't to break some eggs to make an omelette, it's convincing the eggs to break themselves in order to aspire to omelettehood.Comment
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That sounds like me playing Warcraft 3.Originally posted by Arrian
"I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just moving units around."
-Arrian
Hell, it sounds like me playing Civ3, but we won't talk about that!
If I'm posting here then Counterglow must be down.Comment
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We should make a FAQ of the stuff that new players typically don;t know, as well as the basic stuff they should do when starting out.The greatest delight for man is to inflict defeat on his enemies, to drive them before him, to see those dear to them with their faces bathed in tears, to bestride their horses, to crush in his arms their daughters and wives.
Duas uncias in puncta mortalis est.Comment
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Two things: 1) I keep my save game file right on the desktop, POOF! 2) I understand the time/obligations thing... family, job, house to take care of, etc. My time here is during slow time at work. Down time at home is too precious (Gotta PLAY!) to visit.
On the other hand, I'm probably a more grounded, well-rounded person than I was when I could play 96 hours a day, all those years ago...Comment
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If you want submitted reviews that are hilarious for all the wrong reasons, then http://www.gamefaqs.com/ is a goldmine in that area.
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Vlad,
The Exonian? Does that have to do with Phillips Exeter?The greatest delight for man is to inflict defeat on his enemies, to drive them before him, to see those dear to them with their faces bathed in tears, to bestride their horses, to crush in his arms their daughters and wives.
Duas uncias in puncta mortalis est.Comment
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I haven't myself, but on amazon.com, I ran across this review which sounded strangely familiar...Originally posted by Lord Merciless
Has anyone of you posted reviews on Amazon?
Naw... must be my imagination...DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE HYPE!
This game is not like Civilization 2. It is very different and not for the better. The game is more tedious and boring, and A LOT LESS FUN, although they did slap on splashy graphics, as if I care.
The game when released was a beta unplaytested version filled with bugs and even typos. It has had to be patched FOUR TIMES by the company just to make it playable. If you don't take the time to get the patches from the company site it will really be bad.
Compared to Civ 2 it stinks. Much less fun. There is no longer a Cheat Mode; scenarios are poor; plus they have DUMBED DOWN the game for the 12 year olds and ignored History. They have idiotic concepts such as "Culture Flipping" where you can lose half your army if a city suddenlly decides to join another civilization because it has more "culture" (military strength doesn't count). It's ridiculous.
They made naval warfare very simplictic and simple-minded. And turned Espionage and trade into tedious abstractions. User interface is poor. The basic values for units and resources are silly and wrong.
Lots of things make this over-hyped game a bust - unless you're a kid who loves those graphics and doesn't care a thing about reality and history, and loves to micromanage a game hour after hour.
NO SALE. Civilization 2 was better and more fun.
And Vlad:
Just went looking for a Civ3 review on that site. Yup, you're right... some reviews are really hilarious. Also, I think I figured out why Civ3 gets so many bad reviews. Here's the list, with examples:If you want submitted reviews that are hilarious for all the wrong reasons, then http://www.gamefaqs.com/ is a goldmine in that area.
People who think that everything different than in Civ2 stinks:
People who don't read the manual:You can't help your super city build wonders by sendinding convoys to it! There ARE no convoys or freighters anymore.
People who just wants something to complain about:It takes about 5 minutes between turns to watch your own little intellectually challenged workers ALL run to the same area of pollution. I had 18 workers at one time, all set to automate. Every single one of the expensive morons would go to exactly the same spot to work on something, even though only one can work in a square at a time.
Oh, and did I mention that all of the three quotes above are from the same review at GameFAQS? You can see the whole review here. It's quite funny.It's ridiculous. In Civilization II, you sort of had a feeling that you were helping to bring one of earth's civilizations to greatness. Don't expect that here. No spies. Elephants are considered luxuries. Wining the game simply by having pyramids, walls, cathedralls, and theatres in one city. All this and more in- Civilization III- We're Too Cheap To Make A Subtitle!Comment
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Theseus:
Yes, it's the school newspaper.
Zero-Tau:
Amazing that some of those people evolved opposable thumbs.
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The game was unplayable before being patched. Myself, I started playing after 1.21 came out.
Otherwise, people whining about missing civ2 features belong to those narrow-minded crowds.
Of course, there are also tons of idiots who have no idea about what strategy means.
But the level displayed by the above reviewers came nowhere near the level displayed by some RPG reviewers. I used to play Baldur's Gate games, and was totally appalled by some posters's lack of intellect. I sometimes wonder whether these people have any problem solving skills at all.Comment
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