Domination of Barbarians [Diplo Game] [Story Thread 1 - April 2012]

[England (DoB)]

Elizabeth looked out over the sea at the French and Netherpeople with sadness as they fought and yelled back and forth, "why cannot neighbors live in peace like us? Should we send them tea to sooth their hot tempers," she pondered. But knowing the unruly and unpredictable tempers of men she doubted they could be calmed and learn to act in a civilized manner. She was most appalled by their poor treatment of their women, like nothing more than property to traded for peace or to be ravaged in war - disgusting. Even a English maiden who had gone to live amount the French peoples after meeting a nice French boy in exceptionally tight pants was now submissive and meek in his presence. She knew the English, even in peace, would have to remain strong to ensure foreigners are not tempted by the hearty bodies and cooking English maidens are known for. Rumor of a land known as Spain also led by women however was most heartening news. "Perhaps together we can show these men the proper respect their women folk deserve," she thought as she returned from the beach to inspect progress on the construction of fishing vessels.

[France (DoB)]

Pierre ruled for 3 generations, which was a period of constant border skirmishes with the Netherlanders, as Pierre sought to drive them back to their side of the Elbe River. Unfortunately the French were better lovers than fighters and the Netherlander invaders controlled much of the French land. Those French who lived near the Elbe river were subjugated by the cruel Netherlander tyrant, with nearly as many French living along parts of the river as Netherlanders. Pierre died a lonely bitter man.

It so happened that shortly after Pierre's death a young Frenchman named Andre managed to climb to the top of the unscalable Alps. Andre reported that on the otherside of the Alps was the legendary Great Valley of the Ancestors flanked on both sides by two great rivers. Andre claimed to see a race living in the Great Valley that was similar to the Seelies but different.

The tribal elders debated whether the Alps could indeed be the legendary mountain range called Ararat. In the end, most of the elders decided that Andre had not discovered the ancient Great Valley but some unknown land and a new race which the elders decided to call the Unseelies. Nevertheless the tribal elders were so impressed by Andre's feat that they named him the tribal chief. Thus began the rule of Andre the Explorer. Andre was obsessed with finding the Great Valley and continued sending explorers farther into the unknown.

Another notable feat by Andre was to expand the border patrols to give more advance notice of would be invaders. Those patrols spotted another new small race hiding in the bushes along the border which they decided to call Hobbits.

Andre had just finished negotiating a peace treaty with Spain when he received word that his long range explorers had discovered another race which they called Minotaurs. It was truly an Age of Discovery!

[Netherlands (DoB)]

"Chieftain, we have done as you said. We have claimed more lands for Nation of Fire, Nation of Water. We have many more wooded areas for our people to explore and we have sent of the Nether to the other side of our birthplace, to chase some more Boars. These boars are not quite as wild, but just as tasty. They are still hard to catch.

"It seems that the bounty of Mountain Father abounds all around Ocean Mother's Nether Regions"

"Chieftain, the swim over to the other boars is treacherous. Perhaps we should make a watercraft to get over there"

"Not now, first worry about the boars we have over here. Why swim the Northsea to catch what we already have? Now about the grapes? I am eager for some Frencn Stew flavored with grapes again."

"We failed to secure the grapes Chieftain, the French were too strong and chased away all our gatherers. They are so hostile to us now. They stalking us eveywhere we go. Not letting us move freely in our own lands"

"Blasted French. At least we meet some new peoples in the South"

"Holly Roamers I think they are called, because they wander around with sprigs and berries of holly in their hair. The berries make a deadly poison they use to tip the spikes of their clubs"

"They sound fierce. We should make friends with them urgently"

[Carthage (DoF)]

wrong thread

[Ottomans (DoB)]

The First Guard nervously waited for Chieftain Resad to be awakened from his sleep. (Chieftain was a military title, and very separate from the political title of Chieftain held by Bedri Ayhan.) He had good reason to be nervous.

Resad stumbled throug the flap in his tent. "Yes!" He roared. "What do you want at this time of day??".

The First Guard teetered back on his heels. He had to concentrate to get the words out. "Chieftain. Sire. They are gone!"

"Who's gone?" demanded Resad, still groggy from sleep.

"All of them, sire. Chieftain Bedri. The other elders. All the people. Even the children. Gone."

Resad was having a difficult time absorbing the information. "Well, where have they gone? Have you found them yet?"

"No sire. They have simply left. We followed their tracks heading out of camp, but they must have left early, and been traveling quickly.

It then registered with Resad. Bedri had argued for this a fortnight ago. He felt that the heavily armed warriors were slowing down the rest of the tribe, who could travel more lightly, and therefore more quickly. Resad had responded that the unarmed men and women of the tribe needed the security of Resad's warriors. That they would soon succumb to the dangers of the wilderness. Bedri relented at the time, but had obviously just been biding his time.

"Damnation!!" exclaimed Resad, slamming his arm into the tent pole and collapsing the front half of his tent. He was angry with Bedri. And he was worried for his people. They were traveling in territory known to be inhabited by both packs of wild animals and tribes of merciless barbarians. And they were unarmed.

"Break camp! Now!" he ordered. "We march within the hour."

War Chieftain Resad was worried for the very survival of the Ottoman tribe. Very worried.

[Spain (DoB)]

Himilce receives notice of the peace treaty with the French.
"Good, even the tough men from the north see that peace is the way towards true prosperity."

[France (DoB)]

As more intermingling of the Netherlanders and the French took place due to their interbreeding, the traditional French folk lore of the Great Valley of the Ancestors came under doubt among the French. Many Frenchmen attributed the Netherlanders success in invading into French lands to the influence of the Netherlander Mountain Father and Water Mother.

Andre the Explorer's was a firm believer in the Great Valley of the Ancestors and it troubled him that his people were losing faith. Andre's detractors secretly whispered that Andre's whole Chieftain selection was predicated on his supposed finding of the Great Valley. If the Great Valley was just a myth then why should Andre be chieftain they reasoned.

With his chieftainship at stake, Andre formed a sect of his bravest and strongest warriors and sent them on a quest to find the Great Valley of the Ancestors and prove the French legends were true. The sect of warriors was simply called the Great Valley Seekers.

[France (DoB)]

Gabriel leader of the Great Valley Seekers studied his options from top of the hill.The mountain in front of him was impassable. To his left a nasty looking race of little people that his men called goblins were blocking his passage forward. To his right was the sea and beyond that could be seen some large bears waiting on the shore. If he tried to go right then whatever men survived swimming through the sea would surely be eaten by the bears. To return to Andre without finding the Great Valley was also not an option.

So it was that Gabriel made the only choice that was left to him and he marched his men into the goblin lands. The goblins fled before him yelling curses and the occassional cowardly goblin threw rocks from hiding but the Great Valley Seekers did not see any serious resistance until they reached the goblin village. The horde of goblins had gathered many clubs and rocks in a desperate attempt to defend their village.

Gabriel laughed to himself, as if the French wanted anything from such a primitive village. It was best just to get through this primitive hostile land as quickly as possible and then deal with whatever monsters lie on the other side. Gabriel had a quest and he would not fail his chieftain whatever the consequences.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

Strange New fishes



After many fights on the beaches between French and Nether fishermen the Nation of Fire, Nation of Water was able to chase away the French. Once the French were gone, the Nether fishermen discovers a new type of fish. At first they thought the funny fish were sea stones, but you can smash them open for tasty treats inside.

[China (DoB)]

Life in Beijing has not been easy for Qin. His father has died from the coughing sickness, that is impacting half the village. Qin’s mother sits alone in their hut moaning and cater walling to the tree gods. His friend Shen burnt himself trying to get a branch to bend. His fingers got burned black and then turned to goo and dropped off, then his arm became infected, and finally his head fell to the side and pus spouted from his torso. His final days were not pretty, he ran down the village street screaming for mercy to end his life and finally Qin put a spear through the base of his skull. And now there are reports of terrible wild cats attacking people in the forests surrounding Beijing. People have to escorted by warriors to go to the rice paddies.

[Byzantium (DoB)]

Constantine looked on as a group of little angry men angrily passed through Byzantine lands. The spoke a language he had never heard before but in truth he did not care. He made a note for future generations to track down where these strange men came from and see if the rest of this strang tribe was as angry as the ones who passed.

[Netherlands (DoB)]

End of an Age

The Nation of Fire, Nation of Water sends out their warriors long ago to increase the knowlede and control of the surrounding lands. Deep into the woods and hills nearby they go, constant always the harassing of the French. Over 100 years had passed since Nethermen made their settlement near the river, and although the people of Nation of Fire, Nation of Water were known to be long lived, none survived who remember the origin of the Nethermen. Chieftain, then oldest, was unnaturally strong even to his young days. He was made the first Chieftain at about 20 years of age, a mere child by Netherman standards. Some of the oldest Nether were say to be a thousand years old when they died, but something happen, a long time ago, no kne knows and now the Nether only lives to be a few hundred years at most.

Aantaleen loosely meaning "number one" is what Chieftain was called by the people. He now given the title Primersteleider for keeping alive the Nation of Fire, Nation of Water for so long against the French struggle. At 100 years of age, Aantaleen decided he had to choose a wife, and he chose Angeline, the eldest and fairest of the French maidens that come over at the beginning of the fights with Frenchmen, called the "Maiden's War."


-----One of Trotseer warrior party in Orange tribal robes looking on the barren plains-----

Because of the rivalry between French and Nation of Fire, Nation of Water, the warriors hear that French are trying to find the legendary valley the dead old men used to talk about. One Warrior, Trotseer hears a man claim that leaving the Valley is the reason the Nether are no longer live to be a thousand years anymore. The water in teh vally has magical powers. So Trotseer decides not to return to the river village, and heads off to chase the French and reach the Great Valley first. Soon his warriors go pass the dark woods, and mountains around their homeland and come to a barren, open plains on the other side, where the sun beats down and bronzes their skins. This was known as the end of the dark woods period in Nethermen history. This gives way to age of the Dutch.

Because the French maidens were called "Daughters of the Undeworld" or "The D-U" for short, some of the jealous Netherwomen begin calling them D-U-French or duFrench to taunt them in secret. Their childs from mating with the Nethermen also was called duFrenchs. Soon Angeline complainse to Aantaleen, and he declares that anyone who calls the DU "French" will be severly punished. So the people stop calling them duFrench and just calls them Du-Cha, taking away the "fra" sound at the begin of French. Strange enough, the DU and their chidren like the new name "Du-Cha" and soon all the intermingled Netherman-French people are called "Ducha" or "Dutch." Because the Dutch women inherit insatiable sex drive from their French mothers, the population of the Nation of Fire, Nation of Water begins growing rapidly.

[France (DoB)]

Andre fumed as heard the reports. The Netherlander's had been spying on the French like perverted voyeurs for generations while the French had ignored them since the Netherlanders were a backward tribe with nothing of interest worth spying over. Now that casual disregard had allowed the inept Netherlanders to finally stumble upon truly valuable information. They had learned of the France's search for the Great Valley and bereft of an original notion the Netherlanders had decided to emulate France's quest.

Furthermore reports that an ancient wise man claimed that the secret to his longevity came from drinking the water of the Great Valley. The Netherlanders could not be allowed to find these Waters of Immortality and had to be stopped at all cost!

Andre's best warriors, The Great Valley Seekers, were far away fighting goblins so Andre summoned Julian, trainer of the Paris warriors.

"Julian, prepare the Paris warriors. Tomorrow they are to head over the mountains towards the rising sun and bring me the heads of this Netherlander Trotseer, and his band of warriors!"

"I am sorry my Chieftain but the warriors are not yet trained and cannot be ready soon enough to overtake these Trotseer warriors."

"Why are they not ready?"

"Too many of the boys are picking grapes in the field instead of finding clubs in the woods. As you know my Chieftain, the tribal elders say that they only do their best thinking with a full mug of wine!"

Andre's position was tenuous as it was, he could not divert the boys from making wine without many of the tribe revolting against him so he had to come up with another option.

"We still have several good messengers so send word to Gabriel and the Great Valley Seekers to prepare for these Netherlander Trotseer band of warriors. Also send messengers to each of the tribes that we have met and let the tribes know that we swear on the honor of France that any tribe which slays this Netherlander Trotseer band of warriors and brings me their heads may call on France to ally with them in one future war of their choosing. I and all future French rulers will uphold this vow of honor until it is discharged, lest the honor of Paris be forever tarnished!"

[Netherlands (DoB)]

Aantaleen soon heard that the evil Frenchman put a price on the head of Trotseer and his exploring Warriors. He send swift messengers out to meet them, and to tell them to come back to the river village at once before they are ambushed by the French. The messengers are never heard from again, and Aantaleen suspects the French are the culprits.

"Send word to out Nether brethren living in Frenchyland that they must gather their Dutch wives and children and bring them back to Nation of Fire, Nation of Water, I fear for their safety living under such savages. Send more messengers out to follow the French and see if there are any more people who the French trample on. See if we can find some strong allies among these new peoples. We will defeat these French yet! Cancel all our plans and train more Warriors as our neighbors have done. Send them to go after Trotseer and bring him home. Once you reach Trotseer, warn him of the French evil plans and tell him to catch them before they catch you!"

"Those Frenchmans are hard to catch Chieftain"

"Like the Boars"

Everyone laughs at this. They all agree that Frenchman are just like the Boars.

"And they look like boars too, and just as greedy. Like little piggy swines!"


--A Frenchman--

This is how French came to be called "pigs" or "swine"

[France (DoB)]

Benoit, head of the French espionage forces, waited by the crooked oak tree where he met his Nether informants. The rivalry between Netherlands and France had sparked up again and the French tribal elders were worried about an impending war.

Benoit was not waiting long before the Nether messengers arrived. He had to admit they moved very swiftly. As was his custom, Benoit provided each of the messengers with a flask of wine. The Dutch were easily addicted to "french stew" and it made them easy to influence furthermore they were quite talkative after just a few sips. The messengers eventually told Benoit about Aantaleen's message for Trotseer to return and his arming up for war. The information was so good that Benoit tossed in an extra flask of wine for the drunken men. As he left the drunken Netherlanders began to squabble amongst themselves over who would get the last flask. Benoit felt it was time to leave as one messenger drunkenly clubbed the other over the head...

Several weeks later, Benoit was back in Paris when a vaguely familiar messenger returned with exciting news, the Great Valley Seekers had discovered the Great Valley furthermore they had sent back a flask of the waters from the source of the two rivers for the aging Andre to see if it would grant him immortality!

Andre was so excited by the news that he failed to notice the messenger's accented french. In front of the tribe he proudly announced the success of his lifelong quest and toasted it with a long swig of the Waters of Immortality. Andre's broad grin quickly turned to horror as he grabbed his chest. In a matter of moments, Andre keeled over dead in front of everyone.

Benoit reacted quickly as he struck a lethal blow to the messenger. "This messenger is not French! He is a Netherlander spy and he has poisoned our chieftain!"

No one recognized the messenger and it was quickly agreed that he had indeed been a Netherlander spy. The tribal elders worried that such a brazen assassination could only mean that the Netherlanders were going to attack soon. They quickly agreed that Benoit would be the next chieftain as he was the best military strategist left in France, as Gabriel was far away.

As his first act as Chieftain, Benoit made peace with the Byzantium's reasoning that France should not try to fight two wars at once. Unfortunately, the peace treaty prevented the Great Valley Seekers from travelling back through Byzantium lands so they were cut-off and would need to find another way home...

Meanwhile the Great Valley Seekers were unaware of events back in Paris and they were too busy to care as they were being stalked by predatory bears! Gabriel quickly fortified his men by digging pits and dead-falls in the forest and awaited the inevitable attack...