Destiny of Empires [Diplo Game] [Story Thread]

[Israel (DoE)]

Danger!

Tiu's voice cried through the desert.
Danger!
In the distance a man was approaching the nomads of Egypt.
All women and children fled insides their huts.
Some men did so.

Fear.

The tall man stopped.
Stepped down from his camel.
Then he spoke up to the fearing Egyptians.

"I come in peace and send word from Arabia"
"There is not such a word like 'peace'" Tiu whispered in disbelief.

"All my leader asks from you is to not settle east of the Red Sea" the stranger continued.
Tiu was in shock.
"Will you spare our lives if we obey Lord?" Tiu asked.
The Arabian had an expression of misunderstanding on his face.
"We will consider you as our friend!" he then answered.

Pharao Tiu kneeled down in front of the stranger and spoke up:
"My Lord, please don't kill us!
We will obey your order and we will not settle east of the Red Sea!
Please be kind to us and we will be your slaves!"

The Arabian man laughed, climbed happily on his camel and said: "We will be kind to you if you live up to your words!" and then he left.

[France (DoE)]

Agence France-Presse (AFP) posted October 11, 2051

Building of the new Venice Spaceport was halted today as robotic workers uncovered neanderthal remains during excavations. Carbon dating has revealed that the remains are from 2575 BC, which is around the time of the founding of Venice. This latest discovery adds more evidence to the theory that a tribe of neanderthals survived long past their previously supposed extinction era.

Previous historic evidence, had indicated that there were only 3 Gallic tribes living in the area around that time period. The nomadic Parisii tribe from which the other tribes descended. The dominant Morini tribe of Boulogne-sur-mer and the Veneti tribe of Venice. The era is believed to have been relatively peaceful with the tribes living in relative harmony however the evidence of neanderthal remains from that period has caused some scholars to question how peaceful the period truly was.

In related news, a small group of german exchange students staged a sit-in protest at the Calais university branch office of the DNA Ancestory Project. The students were protesting the Project's German neanderthal-ancestory theory claiming it was a hoax and that "Germans are human too!"

[Germany (DoE)]

uh, grunt.

[Germany (DoE)]

grunt, fart, grunt.

Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence.

[America (DoE)]

Uuuurgh! Belch. Urrrrch!

[Ottoman Empire (DoE)]

Great Pharao Tiu,

We are indeed friends. From long ago the Turkmen of the Northern Seas and the Eyptians of the Southern Deserts have been friends. Our warlike nature is to be feared - many a barbarian has been ripped limb from limb over recent centuries, and that is only when they meet our women! But our friends have nothing to fear. Soon we may find ourselves side by side together - your brilliance and our violence will protect us both.

Suleiman the Founder

[Ottoman Empire (DoE)]

Suleiman sat and looked over growing city.

The great wool market. The horses dragging carts of ore from the hills. The boats bringing in their catch. It almost looked as if the Turks should leave behind their warlike past on the Steppes of the East.

Then he shook his head, dispelling the fantasy, and turned back to the men of the many peoples who had gathered from across the continent and indeed from distant islands. The hatred of the Parisii was tangible. But the mood was changing. No longer was it just denouncing the greed of the Parisii who had seized all of the South and West of the continent. Cutting off for themselves the rich hands of Italy and Spain. Leaving them empty when other tribes starve. Anger at greed was turning to plans for action.

It will be good to show these fat soft-bellied europeans the violence of the Turkmen. Though even he had to respect the power of the northern axes.

[Germany (DoE)]

Suleiman sat and looked over growing city.

The great wool market. The horses dragging carts of ore from the hills. The boats bringing in their catch. It almost looked as if the Turks should leave behind their warlike past on the Steppes of the East.

Then he shook his head, dispelling the fantasy, and turned back to the men of the many peoples who had gathered from across the continent and indeed from distant islands. The hatred of the Parisii was tangible. But the mood was changing. No longer was it just denouncing the greed of the Parisii who had seized all of the South and West of the continent. Cutting off for themselves the rich hands of Italy and Spain. Leaving them empty when other tribes starve. Anger at greed was turning to plans for action.

It will be good to show these fat soft-bellied europeans the violence of the Turkmen. Though even he had to respect the power of the northern axes.

grunzen axe is good. neandor rule.

[France (DoE)]

The Veneti tribal chief eyes the threatening Ottoman emissary coldly and says, "The feet of the tribes of Gaul have walked this land for many generations while Ottoman feet have never touched this land. By what right does Suleiman seek to claim our ancestoral lands?"

"Tell your Suleiman leader that the tribes of Gaul are a peaceful people who do not seek conflict with any of their neighbors but that he should not confuse our peaceful nature with weakness. The tribes of Gaul shall unite to defend against foreign invaders. The tribes of Gaul are a reasonable people and will listen to reasonable requests but we shall not tolerate venemous threats. You may leave with your life this time but should you return with more threats then only your head will be returned to Suleiman next time."

[France (DoE)]

The Veneti emissary took a deep breath and gathered his courage as he looked up the hill. He was to be the first Gaul to enter Grunzen territory, which was a terrifying prospect. He could see smoke coming from the hill and even see the neandors moving in and out of caves in the hill.

The Veneti priests had warned him that the neandor's (or Ogres as his people had come to call the Neandors) were created by a Fire god and an Earth goddess. The Earth goddess laid shiny egg rocks from which the ogres hatched. The ogres would crawl back into their mother's womb to bring out her eggs and those eggs which were found weak were sacrificed in a great fire to their fearsome Fire god.

The Veneti emissary tried not to think about being burnt alive in a sacrificial fire as he climbed the hill.

[Ottoman Empire (DoE)]

Suleiman heard the words of the Parisii man, translated by the traveller. But he couldn't understanding them.

"What is this, 'by what right'? What does the Parisii chief mean?"

The traveller explained. "Its a word we do not have. Its a word the fat bellied of the west have invented. It is a strange idea. They use it as an alternative to power. Two wolves find a carcass in the wild. The larger one pushes the weak one off so he can have his fill first. So the weaker one says 'I have the right to have some'."

Suleiman smiled - he always enjoyed the travellers tales. "and then what happened?"

"Well the stronger wolf attacked the weaker one until he fled and then went back to have his fill of the carcass"

"but what about 'the right'?"

"Oh its meaningless" The Parisii like these fantasies. They are a nation of dreamers. I have heard that they prefer dreams to violence and their women folk don't even carry clubs.

"And what is this about them fantasising about Tulin's head?" Suleiman shrugged, nodded to his guards, who quickly grabbed and decapitated the Tulin the messanger.



"Traveller, take Tuilin's head and give it to the Parisii since they seem to desire it so much. Maybe their women want to see a real man. Then tell them to speak quickly and without these fancy notions. Tell them to speak like the Grunz - they are real men with axes. We like them."

[France (DoE)]

The Veneti chief looked at the Turk's severed head in disgust before asking the high priest, "What manner of chief would sever the head of his own faithful servant?"

The High Priest knowingly responded, "The Turks worship a barbaric god of Madness and War. They do not understand reason or right from wrong. They only understand might and try to steal that which does not belong to them. There will be no reasoning with them."

"Then we are left with no option but to prepare for their eventual attack. May the God of Wisdom guide us in this troubled time. Do we have the manpower to defend our home against such irrational aggression?"

"Aye my chief for now but we must send word to the other Gaul tribes. They will send their finest warriors and with our hilltop defenses we should hold. We will need to abandon the swine holds as they cannot be defended but we could put the swineherders to work growing wheat. If the Grunzen were to join the Turks then we may not be able to hold."

"What of the emissary?"

"The emissary has not yet returned from the Grunzen so we do not yet know where their loyalties lie."

"The bargain which my father made on the borders between Grunzen and Gaul has held for a generation and the Grunzen were in agreement with the very founding of Venetia. What reason would they have to aid the Turks against us?"

"The mad war god of the Turks is a beguiler and many a man's heart has been turned by his lies of easy riches. We must await the return of the emissary but we should not wait long for if the Grunzen join the Turks then we will need allies of our own. The Morini tribe speak of two tribes over the seas, one towards the setting sun and the other towards the winter winds although neither tribe sounds ideally positioned to aid us. A better possibility might be the legendary Russian tribe which strikes fear in even the Grunzen heart, although I know not how we might contact them."

The Veneti chief idly moves the severed Turk head around to consider it from different perspectives as he pondered his options. After a few moments he issued his orders, "Slaughter the swine and hold a feast in honor of this latest Turkish emissary so that he may see that the tribes of Gaul treat even their enemies better than this Suleiman treats his own followers. It may be the emissary's last meal, he may as well enjoy it. Also have this emissary's head given a proper burial with the latest Turk emissary present."

The Veneti chief then tosses the head to the High Priest as he adds, "Send runners to the other tribes and tell them that the Turks are HEADed this way."

[Russia (DoE)]

Hah! It seems at last you have gathered all the bunch to welcome me - the most shining and splendid leader of all.

All bow before me - the most magnificent ruler and most sumptuous lady of all the world.

I was a bit busy lately to organize this sea of Slavs into something which can be called a nation. Again they needed someone else to show them that having a country is the way to ensure eternity to their seed and their tribe.

I see that you managed to make a fight at the sandbox. I am watching you, so beware and be good and dutiful.
And note that in my presence belching, farting and cutting heads is not allowed.

You are free to go now.

[Israel (DoE)]

Pharao Tiu died

After securing his people, Pharao Tiu died. Slaves were hired to build a tomb for Tiu. Large stones were transferred through the desert to the place where the tomb should be placed. The construction of the tomb lasted for many years. The suspicious Egyptians weren't able to focus on their work, fearing an attack during their divine work all the time.

After many years the Tomb was finished.
Tiu's preserved body was placed in a sarcophage, which was placed in the middle of the tomb. It was decided that every Egyptian city now should have an Obelisk in it's center as a remembrance to Pharao Tiu.

The slaves were unsatisfied and became more and more disrespectful to their fearful masters.

[France (DoE)]

The Veneti emissary was relieved to be back in Venetia and hoped to never return to the Grunzen lands of foul smoke and excessive flatulence nevertheless the news he bore was not good and he feared his chief might punish the messenger. The emissary did not have long to wait and he was quickly escorted into the chief's hut.

The Veneti chief and the High Priest were sitting around a small fire in the hut and the chief motioned for the emissary to sit beside the fire to warm himself before proceeding.

"What news from the Grunzen?", the chief queried.

"The Grunzen language is very primitive however from what I understood the Grunzen believe we are saying that they do not exist and that we laugh at their fear of the Russians and tell others of this fear. The Grunzen now claim that Venetia belongs to the Ottomans and that they are sending warriors against us.", the emissary responded.

The puzzled chief turned to the High Priest to ask for an explanation, "Who amongst us says that the Grunzen do not exist? Or laughs at the Grunzen? Who would we tell about the Grunzen fear? The Turks? This response makes no sense to me."

The High Priest responded, "It is as we feared. The poisonous tongue of the Turk god of War has turned the Grunzen against us with lies and fear. The Grunzen and the Turks fear these mighty Russians so rather than claim their own rightful lands towards the rising sun, they seek to take our land."

The chief thought for a moment before responding, "If the Turks and the Grunzen spend the lives of their sons futilely assaulting our lands then surely the Russians or some other tribe will claim the lands towards the rising the sun. The Turks and the Grunzen will be left with almost no land. Surely they must realize that this greedy plan of theirs is irrational as it will leave them with less then if they faced their fears and claimed their rightful lands towards the rising sun."

"Yes their plan is pure madness but such is the way of the Turkish god. Even now the Turks are harassing our borders and attacking our farmers with minor raids and skirmishes. War appears inevitable."

"We must make contact with these mighty Russians but our best runner would never make it through Grunzen or Turkish lands. Perhaps the winter winds tribe near the Morini tribe have contact with these Russians. Send our fastest emissary to contact the winter winds tribe we should see if they are willing to ally with us against these aggressive madmen or at least pass on a message to these mighty Russians."