Harrod dines with Vlad Tepes II
This excerpt from "101 Tales of Terra" was written by Harrod around 755 BC. Modern historians joke that Harrod was Terra's first food critic, since Harrod's writings often include a detailed account of dinner. All joking aside however, Harrod is considered one of the most important ancient writers due to the scope of his work.
101 Tales of Terra, Chapter 2 Vlad Tepes
The supper with Vlad Tepes II was one of the more revolting and awful experiences of my life. Don't be mislead, the food was delicious. The countryside was lovely as well. Like his father however, Tepes II had a sadistic side.
Tepes II resembled his father in other ways. He was always extremely clean, and well dressed. He followed The Code, and ran his fathers empire as he did. He also had a fetish for eating among the dying as did his father.
Dining with us was 30 barbarians. Their seats made of sharpened wood, ours made of handcrafted wood.
"They pay for their crimes against The Code," remarked Tepes, "and sing the sweetest dinner music."
Clearly, the Count enjoyed this suffering.
"Count Tepes," I began the interview, "what does Carpathia think of rumors of war?"
"Carpathia has no interest in wars. Let the savages of this world kill each other over who's God is the real God. Carpathians put faith in The Code, and it serves them well. Although my father swore revenge upon the Mongols, I would like to end the Thousand Years War." replied Tepes.
"In particular," I began, "What do you think of the Dutch situation."
"The Dutch should stay on their side of the bay," answered Tepes with a mouth full of steak, "These lands east of the Americans have already been fought and paid for."
"And the Mali?" I jostered.
"Our army reports seeing them in combat, outside one of the heathen barbarian citys. They were decimated by the barbarians, which then allowed Carpathian troops to smash the ill placed village to rubble." he replied. "We look forward to more military victorys with the Mali at our side."
"Tell me dear Count, what do you think of the French?"
"I know little of the French, as the Inca, Ottomans, Russia, and the Mongols for that matter. Tales of a God named Ozzy rumor through our villages, but no missionary has come forth. I would like to trade Islam for this Ozzy religion. I feel all people would benifit from it." he replied while looking more and more annoyed with the interview...
"One more thing dear Count, what is this juicy supple meat," I inquired.
"Thats a rather tender subject, another slice anyone?" he offered.
from 101 Tales of Terra / chapter 2
This excerpt from "101 Tales of Terra" was written by Harrod around 755 BC. Modern historians joke that Harrod was Terra's first food critic, since Harrod's writings often include a detailed account of dinner. All joking aside however, Harrod is considered one of the most important ancient writers due to the scope of his work.
101 Tales of Terra, Chapter 2 Vlad Tepes
The supper with Vlad Tepes II was one of the more revolting and awful experiences of my life. Don't be mislead, the food was delicious. The countryside was lovely as well. Like his father however, Tepes II had a sadistic side.
Tepes II resembled his father in other ways. He was always extremely clean, and well dressed. He followed The Code, and ran his fathers empire as he did. He also had a fetish for eating among the dying as did his father.
Dining with us was 30 barbarians. Their seats made of sharpened wood, ours made of handcrafted wood.
"They pay for their crimes against The Code," remarked Tepes, "and sing the sweetest dinner music."
Clearly, the Count enjoyed this suffering.
"Count Tepes," I began the interview, "what does Carpathia think of rumors of war?"
"Carpathia has no interest in wars. Let the savages of this world kill each other over who's God is the real God. Carpathians put faith in The Code, and it serves them well. Although my father swore revenge upon the Mongols, I would like to end the Thousand Years War." replied Tepes.
"In particular," I began, "What do you think of the Dutch situation."
"The Dutch should stay on their side of the bay," answered Tepes with a mouth full of steak, "These lands east of the Americans have already been fought and paid for."
"And the Mali?" I jostered.
"Our army reports seeing them in combat, outside one of the heathen barbarian citys. They were decimated by the barbarians, which then allowed Carpathian troops to smash the ill placed village to rubble." he replied. "We look forward to more military victorys with the Mali at our side."
"Tell me dear Count, what do you think of the French?"
"I know little of the French, as the Inca, Ottomans, Russia, and the Mongols for that matter. Tales of a God named Ozzy rumor through our villages, but no missionary has come forth. I would like to trade Islam for this Ozzy religion. I feel all people would benifit from it." he replied while looking more and more annoyed with the interview...
"One more thing dear Count, what is this juicy supple meat," I inquired.
"Thats a rather tender subject, another slice anyone?" he offered.
from 101 Tales of Terra / chapter 2
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