The 2012 Off Topic Celebrity Dead Pool

[Wezil]

Last day for late submissions.

[OzzyKP]

I'm all set, right?

[Wezil]

Check the team lists - you're pending.

No word from the embalmer. Either his power is out again or he's not interested.

[embalmer42]

I have submitted my list - hope you got it

[Dinner]

Now all we need is someone to die.

[Wezil]

I have submitted my list - hope you got it

I did. You can't change the order but Tim Curry will be added in the the #20 spot.

Twenty little celebrities flying together in the skies
All of them having fun, sure that none of them would die
W. Axel Rose slapped someone for not treating him like a star
The Grim Reaper slapped him back instead, now he's just ashes in a jar

Nineteen little celebrities enjoying lying in the sun
After working so hard all they wanted was to have a little fun
Sonny Barger went to a concession stand where occurred a frightful scene
Sonny stepped in a rat trap, and then they were just eighteen

Eighteen Little celebrities went in a music store
Most quickly got bored and left, but one needed to see much more
Seeing all those guitars reminded him of the Canadian star he'd been
When a guitar string snapped and decapitated him - now they numbered seventeen

Seventeen little celebrities all gathered for a speech
One of them stood up, they all knew how he liked to preach
Fidel Castro opened his mouth, his skin the colour of green
A bolt of lightning laid him flat, suddenly they were sixteen

Sixteen little celebrities deciding to take a nap
Two of them wanted the same bed and soon got into a scrap
Fists were thrown, curses were uttered, though one was not so keen
When all was over, Queen Elizabeth II was still, and so they were fifteen

Fifteen little celebrities went strolling in a cave
They'd packed a picnic lunch because all of them were so very brave
One went missing and so the others looked because he'd never been very mean
But no sign of Gordon Lightfoot could be found, which brought them to fourteen

Fourteen little celebrities going out upon the town
Spending lots of money and spreading it around
One entered a bar and did not leave, though the others did not miss him so
No tears were shed, it was said, when George H. W. Bush was next to go

Thirteen little celebrities getting dressed up for a dance
Only the biggest stars were invited, it was no time to take a chance
Making sure that everything was perfect caused one of them too much stress
Nancy Reagan failed to make the party, and so they were one less

Twelve little celebrities all jumping from a plane
Parachutes were on the back of each, they weren't quite that insane
All worked fine except for one - much to their dismay
Destiny had picked Warren Buffet for this, his Judgement Day

Eleven little celebrities taking party in a reality show
Three locked themselves in a room as they got ready to do some blow
One got much too greedy as he looked upon the white stuff
Jake "The Snake" Roberts did not stop, until his body said "Enough!"

Ten little celebrities trying to figure out where to eat
They wanted to fill themselves with good food at prices that couldn't be beat
Their orders had just arrived and they had just begin to dine
But the food on Neil Simon's plate was off, and they were reduced to nine

Nine little celebrities going out to hunt some ducks
They're sure they will get a bunch, if they have a little luck
One turns to the other, asking about karma and fate
So distracted, Jean Chretin shoots himself, bringing their number to eight

Eight little celebrities walking through a haunted house
One becomes separated from the rest, because of a fearsome mouse
She thinks she has found the way out, when she sees a door marked "Heaven"
It's the last step for Anne Rice, and now their number is seven

Seven little celebrities getting ready to celebrate the New Year
Most hope the coming days will not be filled with fear
But one of them has an evil mind, she knows all the dirty tricks
Sue Grafton chokes on a tampered noise-maker, and then there were just six

Six little celebrities seeing a movie about outer space
And all the rocks that floated there - it was a busy place
When they were walking home a meteor was seen - but not all of them saw it dive
Neil Armstrong was looking the other way when it took off his head - which is how they became the five

Five little celebrities playing a game of truth or dare
Things were going fine until it was time for one of them to share
Tom Wolfe refused to speak the truth saying he would not play no more
When a chandelier fell on top of him, making a group of four

Four little celebrities taking a skiing holiday
The weather was fine and beautiful, causing one of them to say
"Nothing bad can happen here, as long as you miss those trees."
Courtney Love failed that simple test, shrinking them to three

Three little celebrities walking slowly through the woods
They were taking part in a scavenger hunt, because their agents said they should
Pele did not want to be there, so he kicked a pile of leaves with his shoe
Springing the bear trap hidden underneath, making them just two

Two little celebrities staying home, where it was safe and sound
One got bored and turned on the tube, and then on the table started to pound
They were saying he was washed up, that his career was no longer in the sun
Jerry Lewis got so mad he had a heart attack, and then there was just one

One little celebrity decided to go on a fishing trip
Everything was going smoothly until they took an awful slip
A sweet transvestite had fallen overboard, with no one to save him it was no fun
And so Tim Curry slipped beneath the waves, sadly leaving us with none.

[SlowwHand]

Lord love a duck. embalmer has to put more work into this than anyone else puts into anything else.

[Wezil]

If there were bonus points for style embalmer would be all over them.

Tommy Hunter is #18 for those who were wondering.

[-Jrabbit]

Now all we need is someone to die.

Just back from a funeral. No one famous.

[DaShi]

I don't like saying nice things about people because I'm afraid it will make the chicks think I'm not tough, but very good work embalmer.

As for Wezil, I blame you that no celebrities are dying yet.

[Wezil]

As for Wezil, I blame you that no celebrities are dying yet.

I thought you would appreciate the courtesy of our celebrity contestants in waiting until late submissions were in before playing their role.

[Guynemer]

I'm just gonna go ahead and suggest that you go ahead and award embalmer some style points anyway. An even 20, one for each verse.

[Sava]

anyone pick heather locklear yet?

[Wezil]

anyone pick heather locklear yet?

No, but she would probably be a good one.

[embalmer42]

Thanks for the kind words - I don't go all out on everything, but when I do, I try to give it my all. I was a bit disappointed that I missed the original deadline as I had changed some of my picks to better suit the verses (Zsa Zsa Gabor was #20, but luckily Axel Rose does just as well I think) but as it was I think I only redid three verses to fit my old picks so it wasn't that bad (I'm not quite sure how I failed to identify Tommy Hunter though ).

And thanks to everyone for extending the deadline so I could play this year

[Wezil]

You're good with quality just a little slow on deadlines.

[Wezil]

OzzyKP (Charon's Canoe) is registered and posted.

Notes - -jrabbit, Dinner and myself all lose a unique pick (Wouk, Ali and Graham, respectively)

Tariz Aziz is technically not eligible as he is under a death sentence however, as the death warrant hasn't been (and apparently won't be) signed by the Iraq President it is unlikely to be carried out. NOTE - There will be no points awarded for Tariq Aziz if he is executed.

One of your terrorists doesn't have a precise birth date listed (just 1963). Past practice has July 1st inserted when a precise date is unavailable.

[Wezil]

Embalmer Express is registered and posted.

[Wezil]

The rest of the opening posts have been updated to reflect the late entries.

Record number of players (22) and celebs (228) this year.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was picked by 16 of our players.

[Dinner]

OzzyKP (Charon's Canoe) is registered and posted.

Notes - -jrabbit, Dinner and myself all lose a unique pick (Wouk, Ali and Graham, respectively)

Tariz Aziz is technically not eligible as he is under a death sentence however, as the death warrant hasn't been (and apparently won't be) signed by the Iraq President it is unlikely to be carried out. NOTE - There will be no points awarded for Tariq Aziz if he is executed.

One of your terrorists doesn't have a precise birth date listed (just 1963). Past practice has July 1st inserted when a precise date is unavailable.

Alright, I changed my mind. Don't let the late people in.

[DaShi]

The rest of the opening posts have been updated to reflect the late entries.

Record number of players (22) and celebs (228) this year.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was picked by 16 of our players.

I hope she makes it through the year.

[-Jrabbit]

Just for fun, I went back to see how many people on my original list for 2008 are still alive. There are 11, 6 of whom (marked by asterisk) are on my 2012 list; original rank order in parenteses. They are:

* Fidel Castro (2)
* Kirk Douglas (4)
* B.B. King (5)
Angelo Dundee (7)
* Jerry Lewis (11)
* Nelson Mandela (15)
Pat Summerall (16)
Nancy Reagan (17)
* Henry Kissinger (18)
Muhammad Ali (19)
Robert Guillaume (20)

[Wezil]

Interesting.

I think I have 15 still alive. All but 5 have since been replaced.

1. Ariel Sharon (Politician)
2. *Fidel Castro (Dictator)
3. *Billy Graham (Evangelist)
5. Al Molinaro (Actor)
6. *Louis Farrakhan (NOI)
7. *Jerry Lewis (Actor/Comedian)
9. Muhammad Ali (Boxer)
11. *Margaret Thatcher (Politician)
13. Sid Caesar (Actor)
14. Joni Mitchell (Singer)
15. Mickey Rooney (Actor)
16. Ernest Borgnine (Actor)
17. Gore Vidal (Writer)
19. Vera Lynn (Singer)
20. Keith Richards (Partier)


Classic beginner's list.

[SlowwHand]

The rest of the opening posts have been updated to reflect the late entries.

Record number of players (22) and celebs (228) this year.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was picked by 16 of our players.

I had her at least the last 2 years, and this year. She's a real ball buster.

[-Jrabbit]

Fidel Castro, Kirk Douglas, BB King and Nelson Mandela are the only ones I've listed all 5 years.

I was sure Castro was on his deathbed when we started this thing. (Of course, it being Cuba, he could have died a couple years ago and they just decided not to upset the public...)

BB King was near death in 2000; I know it for a fact. He's one tough old dude.

I think I've only had Zsa Zsa this year and last. Now with 16 of us giving her Poly Protection, she could live to be 100...

[Dinner]

I should have thought of Castro.

[Wezil]

I think I've only had Zsa Zsa this year and last. Now with 16 of us giving her Poly Protection, she could live to be 100...

It's a race to see if her life ends before her assets. The Prince has been busy selling stuff.

[Uncle Sparky]

It's a race to see if her life ends before her assets. The Prince has been busy selling stuff.

On the + side of the ledger, he has also sold his 'royal lineage' three or four times, just as he bought his name back in the '80s.

[Wezil]

What a creep.

[DaShi]

If the world ends on 12/21/12, then we all win. :cheer: