Reply With QuoteThe impending joke was obvious from the 2nd line. Boo.
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't.
The aged old cow was struck and killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened and pay them for the cow.
She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray.
He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other. He was smiling happily and also smeared with lipstick.
'What happened to you,' asked Hillary?
'Well,' the driver replied, 'the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters kissed me passionately.'
What in the world did you tell them?' asked Hillary.
The driver replied, 'I just stepped inside the door and said, 'Hello, I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.'
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
"Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead
The impending joke was obvious from the 2nd line. Boo.
"The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "
It was obvious from the first two words.
This joke is soo old, and has been told in soo many varitations, that its actually not only dull but quite annoying to hear.
Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila
Too bad he didn't hit a herd of jackasses.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
"Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead
Ironically, I have the same view of Sen. Rodham-Clinton's voice.Originally posted by Heraclitus
This joke is soo old, and has been told in soo many varitations, that its actually not only dull but quite annoying to hear.
Then we'd never have to hear this joke again.Originally posted by SlowwHand
Too bad he didn't hit a herd of jackasses.
“As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
"Capitalism ho!"
This forum would be veeeeeeeery quiet
We need:
-noah
smiley.
Ok, this one is better.
The Pope and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
The senator and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before. To make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did You know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive, the Pope replies, "But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your wave, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."
The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."
So the Pope slapped her!!
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
"Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead
I like Slowhand's better.
The ending needs more "OOMHPH!"
...but otherwise
I’m not sure what you’re referring to since slowwhand posted both of the HC jokes.Originally posted by Vesayen
I like Slowhand's better.
Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila
You're wrong. One of theme is an evil twin from the Mirror Universe.
I disagree. I think the SlowwHand one was better.Originally posted by Vesayen
I like Slowhand's better.
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
Does he have a goatee?Originally posted by Riesstiu IV
You're wrong. One of theme is an evil twin from the Mirror Universe.
Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila
*than
“As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
"Capitalism ho!"
Okay, does he than have a goatee?
I'm consitently stupid- Japher
I think that opinion in the United States is decidedly different from the rest of the world because we have a free press -- by free, I mean a virgorously presented right wing point of view on the air and available to all.- Ned
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