Tweet
As of 0300 hours Apolyton time and 650 BC game time a State of WAR exists between team Alpha Centauri and team Banana. Team AC has acted to liberate the oppressed peoples of the Banana kleptocracy from from their *cough* phallic *cough* Idolatry and bring them to the one true Yang.
Long simmering tensions between AC and the Nanas have motivated many in the Centaurian hierarchy to advocate use of force but events happening only recently have proved the final straw. Centaurian border patrols came across a band of Bananaians being driven into a fierce and inhospitable desert by a band of club wielding thugs. Our soldiers were shocked to learn from the people that they were being driven against their will by agents of their own state through the harsh desert to found a colony on the edge of Centaurian territory. Their condition was intolerable, children were clothed in Banana leaves and everyone wore Banana peels instead of proper shoes, they had nothing but odd Banana flavored IceCream confections to eat for weeks. Not only was this an unspeakable cruelty but a clear affront to Centaurian sovereign territory that could not be tolerated.
Wise battlefield commanders briefly withdrew and reported their findings and the Supream Centaurian council was called, all seven members were present and a unanimous declaration of war was issued. Couriers reached the now reinforced border patrol which carried out its orders will lightning precision. Forces of the Cho-ko-Norris Regiment engaged the pathetically outmatch band of Banana thugs and finding their Crossbows unnecessary simply round house kicked their opponents into the next expansion pack without the loss of a single man. Simultaneously members of the Blood Ax clan liberated the Civilians, prodding them proper clothing and escorted women and children back to Centaurian territory ware a new life awaited them, the men of the group were so grateful they pledged to assist their new homeland as a work detail, already they have been put to work aiding the war effort which will soon liberate the remainder of their people. The swift conclusion of the war is all but guaranteed by skilled righteous and technologically superior forces of Centauri.
The spirit of Yangism fills the hearts of the Centaurian people, even know the spiritual furvor has reached such hights that Yangism has become the most dominant religion on Earth and Centaurian lands are in a state of Pandemonium. Soon all the Banana people will follow the way of the Yang.
Long simmering tensions between AC and the Nanas have motivated many in the Centaurian hierarchy to advocate use of force but events happening only recently have proved the final straw. Centaurian border patrols came across a band of Bananaians being driven into a fierce and inhospitable desert by a band of club wielding thugs. Our soldiers were shocked to learn from the people that they were being driven against their will by agents of their own state through the harsh desert to found a colony on the edge of Centaurian territory. Their condition was intolerable, children were clothed in Banana leaves and everyone wore Banana peels instead of proper shoes, they had nothing but odd Banana flavored IceCream confections to eat for weeks. Not only was this an unspeakable cruelty but a clear affront to Centaurian sovereign territory that could not be tolerated.
Wise battlefield commanders briefly withdrew and reported their findings and the Supream Centaurian council was called, all seven members were present and a unanimous declaration of war was issued. Couriers reached the now reinforced border patrol which carried out its orders will lightning precision. Forces of the Cho-ko-Norris Regiment engaged the pathetically outmatch band of Banana thugs and finding their Crossbows unnecessary simply round house kicked their opponents into the next expansion pack without the loss of a single man. Simultaneously members of the Blood Ax clan liberated the Civilians, prodding them proper clothing and escorted women and children back to Centaurian territory ware a new life awaited them, the men of the group were so grateful they pledged to assist their new homeland as a work detail, already they have been put to work aiding the war effort which will soon liberate the remainder of their people. The swift conclusion of the war is all but guaranteed by skilled righteous and technologically superior forces of Centauri.
The spirit of Yangism fills the hearts of the Centaurian people, even know the spiritual furvor has reached such hights that Yangism has become the most dominant religion on Earth and Centaurian lands are in a state of Pandemonium. Soon all the Banana people will follow the way of the Yang.
Comment