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Greetings citizens of the mighty Empire of Apolytania!
Your all-wise leader, Emperor Stuporman, sends you his greetings and wishes to update you on the state of the Empire. Before I begin I must remind you all of the sacred beliefs of our people.
1. Thou shalt not have greater than 0% science. An educated populace is dangerous to itself, and will desire harmful things like rights and privildeges which will bring them to ruin.
2. Thou shalt have No Monarchy. A king also is dangerous, for they are prone both whims and to assasinations.
3. Thou shalt have No Democracy. People are far too busy to be bothered with the day in and day out activity of a vast empire. You would be much happier spending that time doing enjoyable things, like my bidding.
4. Thou shalt have No Wonders of the World. We have no need for these trivial works of pride. We know our empire has no equal, we have no need to prove it to others. Besided, the resources used on these would be much better spent towards productive ends. Like improving my palace(s).
5. Thou shalt have No Diplomats or Spies. We shall not cowardly seek to get what we want through diplomatic means, nor through the terroristic ways of the spy. Nay, we shall instead get them the way that our glorious ancestors have shown us, through force!
6. Thou shalt enter No Huts, for they are filled with naught but worthless trinkets and barbarians.
7. Thou shalt keep a Spotless Reputation. We needn't lie about our intentions or break treaties, these things are cowardly. Instead we shall make our noble intentions clear. We shall wipe all others off the face of the earth!
8. Remember the Banana and keept it holy, so that you may live long in the lands you have been given and shall prosper much.
Now that the 8 Commandments have been recited, we may now get to the business at hand. I had one of our finest artisans draw up a picture of our glorious empire and have attached it to this message.
Our empire begins humbly. I have used my great wisdom to divine the following things about our world:
1. We live on a Medium sized world.
2. We are in a Diety level universe.
3. There are 7 civilizations in the world.
4. The barbarians are raging.
5. We shall live in accordance to the standard rules.
Our empire, likewise, has started with little knowledge, we only know about irrigation, mining, and roads. Likewise, I have learned of another civilization, the Babylonians. The Babylonians have founded the city of Babylon, though I know not yet where it is located.
I have also divined, with the help of the prophet SMSDC, that should we found a city where we are currently located it will supply Dye, Copper, and Hides. Likewise, it will demand Silk, Wool, and Silver.
That is all the wisdom I have to impart upon you now. Go now, and work my will!
StuporMan
Your all-wise leader, Emperor Stuporman, sends you his greetings and wishes to update you on the state of the Empire. Before I begin I must remind you all of the sacred beliefs of our people.
1. Thou shalt not have greater than 0% science. An educated populace is dangerous to itself, and will desire harmful things like rights and privildeges which will bring them to ruin.
2. Thou shalt have No Monarchy. A king also is dangerous, for they are prone both whims and to assasinations.
3. Thou shalt have No Democracy. People are far too busy to be bothered with the day in and day out activity of a vast empire. You would be much happier spending that time doing enjoyable things, like my bidding.
4. Thou shalt have No Wonders of the World. We have no need for these trivial works of pride. We know our empire has no equal, we have no need to prove it to others. Besided, the resources used on these would be much better spent towards productive ends. Like improving my palace(s).
5. Thou shalt have No Diplomats or Spies. We shall not cowardly seek to get what we want through diplomatic means, nor through the terroristic ways of the spy. Nay, we shall instead get them the way that our glorious ancestors have shown us, through force!
6. Thou shalt enter No Huts, for they are filled with naught but worthless trinkets and barbarians.
7. Thou shalt keep a Spotless Reputation. We needn't lie about our intentions or break treaties, these things are cowardly. Instead we shall make our noble intentions clear. We shall wipe all others off the face of the earth!
8. Remember the Banana and keept it holy, so that you may live long in the lands you have been given and shall prosper much.
Now that the 8 Commandments have been recited, we may now get to the business at hand. I had one of our finest artisans draw up a picture of our glorious empire and have attached it to this message.
Our empire begins humbly. I have used my great wisdom to divine the following things about our world:
1. We live on a Medium sized world.
2. We are in a Diety level universe.
3. There are 7 civilizations in the world.
4. The barbarians are raging.
5. We shall live in accordance to the standard rules.
Our empire, likewise, has started with little knowledge, we only know about irrigation, mining, and roads. Likewise, I have learned of another civilization, the Babylonians. The Babylonians have founded the city of Babylon, though I know not yet where it is located.
I have also divined, with the help of the prophet SMSDC, that should we found a city where we are currently located it will supply Dye, Copper, and Hides. Likewise, it will demand Silk, Wool, and Silver.
That is all the wisdom I have to impart upon you now. Go now, and work my will!
StuporMan
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